Ukraine

Unsettled – ND #120

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Photo: L. Weikel

Unsettled

I don’t know what’s been going on with me lately. I’m feeling profoundly unsettled, and I’m pondering what to do about it – if there’s even anything I can do.

By my reckoning, tonight’s post is my 1,231st. The initial 1111 were consecutive – not a day (or perhaps more accurately – not a 24 hour period) went by without me writing something to share with my readers. When I reached my professed goal, I indulged in a 12-day hiatus. And since then, I’ve written another 120 short posts, mostly observations of nature and contemplations on life, with a heavy emphasis on walking, puppies, clouds, and cats and a smattering of political and social observations.

Most of the time, even though I almost always think, “Ugh; I’ve nothing to write about tonight,” I’ll look at the photos I took with my iPhone and some small tale will ask to be told. Or a cloud formation will vie for my attention. Or some celestial event will either beg to be witnessed and reported on or its energetic influence on our lives offer to be contemplated.

Occasionally, tarot cards or a selection from an oracle deck might lend a perspective for us to reflect upon.

Dial Tone

Recently, however, I’ve been experiencing what I can best describe as a creative dial tone when I sit here with my fingertips poised above my keyboard.

Perhaps it’s knowing what’s going on in Ukraine that’s making me feel…mute. Or maybe it’s reading the headlines or hearing about the abhorrent attitudes and beliefs being spewed by so very many people who should know better. Or if they don’t know better, should not be in a position of leadership, power, or influence.

But I have to say, the images from Ukraine and the inner depths of darkness that must be within the soldiers who committed these acts seem to render me…bereft. The ability to perpetrate such acts upon another person has to stem from hopelessness.

What Has Happened?

It all seems to be related. And surely it must be – why else would we be seeing such harshness and cruelty toward ‘others’ all over the world? Is humanity bored? Has our species become so stagnant that, instead of joining together to care for the future of the Earth and the animals and our fellow humans, we’ve collectively just decided to say, “Screw it; let’s burn it all down?”

Again, it feels like hopelessness is the culprit. Which is interesting to me. Because I think so many of us think love is the answer. But love, while I do believe it is fundamentally the most powerful force in the Universe (all Universes), has – as a concept – become watered down and misunderstood.

No. I think hope is what we yearn for in our hearts right now.

The question is, where can we find it and how can each of us cultivate it in our lives?

Photo: L. Weikel

(T+120)

Effects of Stress – ND #95

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Like Pacha, I just want to hide my head – Photo: L. Weikel

Effects of Stress

Sometimes the effects of stress we’re feeling come out in ways we don’t expect. And sometimes we don’t even realize we’re feeling stress, since technically, for all intents and purposes, we’re doing well.

I know that’s true with me. I’ve noticed over the past several days that my jaw and teeth ache on one side in particular – and I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve been clenching my teeth while I sleep. It’s become obvious I’m going to have to resurrect my mouth guard from the bowels of my bedside table.

Let’s face it: I have no reason to clench my teeth. Sure, we’re all at risk – all of us, all over the world – when the amoral brutality of an unchecked dictator continues unabated. This is especially true when you consider that he has more nuclear weapons than anyone else in the world at his disposal. But that’s such a broad-stroked, bordering-on-amorphous threat to our existence that it’s honestly not something I feel warrants clenched teeth.

That’s why I’m surprised I’m clenching.

The Innocents

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not just kids and animals. Given the fabricated pretext of the invasion, I doubt you could characterize anyone in Ukraine as ‘guilty’ of provoking the Russian war on Ukraine. But the images of families being split up, mothers lugging babies and toddlers, and people carrying their pets miles and miles (because they’re family too) brings me to an edge within myself.

I feel stress when even considering how we would manage transporting our three cats and two pups if faced with similar forced refugee circumstances. What if we had to run to Massachusetts or New Mexico or Oregon for safety? How would we keep our family of familiars safe and together? How would we all manage to weather the brutal cold and snowstorm that’s hitting our area at this very moment?

Yes, from thousands of miles away, we can make donations of money or items needed to rebuild lives after escaping with essentially nothing but the clothes on their backs. Diapers, sanitary products, warm clothes, food – for people and for those beloved pets – can at least be provided in a stop-gap fashion. But there’s so much to life and living we take for granted. Right down to the ache in my face from clenching my teeth. It’s nothing compared to the pain and wounds of those enduring this hell first-hand.

I want to end on a positive thought – but all I can think is, “Peace Eagles.”

(T+95)

Not Alone – ND #92

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Cloud Peeper – Photo: L. Weikel

Not Alone

It’s getting harder and harder to watch the news or even read headlines anymore. The world certainly does appear to be coming apart at the seams. From war to plague to cataclysmic climate change, the temptation to just retreat into my own close circle of nature and people and books is almost irresistible. And I’m sure I’m not alone in that feeling.

I vacillate between feeling it’s my responsibility to pay attention (just like I feel with respect to domestic politics and witnessing the alarming rise of autocracy and fascism in the Republican party) and wondering just how much difference my attention makes.

I cannot in good conscience pretend that the brutality inflicted on Ukraine and its people by Putin isn’t happening. And I do believe it’s only escalating – which begs the question of how this can possibly end well. Even thinking about putting myself in the shoes of everyday Ukrainian people, my mind balks at the prospect. Would I stay and fight? Would I leave, determined to make a new life and help my country from an ostensibly safer place?

These questions are impossible to answer until we’re personally faced with the harsh reality of circumstances we can no longer avoid. We can imagine how we’d react – but truly, we have no idea until we’re in the thick of it.

No Walk Today

At least some of my unsettled feelings are probably stemming from the fact that I didn’t walk today. The weather was utterly miserable – the worst kind of cold, wet, and nasty that Spring can hurl at us – and that season hasn’t even arrived yet, technically. It seemed to be raining, drizzling, sleeting, or spitting snow globs at us all day. I know this influenced my imagining of the plight of the Ukrainian refugees because temperatures have plummeted there, too.

I’m hopeful I’ll manage to get a walk in tomorrow and perhaps receive a new perspective on the travails of our time.

In the meantime I’m offering you a photo from yesterday. The clouds were so swirly and beautiful, I just had to capture them. So it’s amusing to see a Cloud Peeper so prominently singing. I would’ve missed him entirely had I not taken this picture with the intention of simply sharing something beautiful with all of you.

(T+92)

Respite – ND #91

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Looking South along the Tohickon – Photo: L. Weikel

Respite

I managed to get myself to my beloved Tohickon Creek today. Granted, I was only able to stay there for about half an hour – but it was a most exquisite and essential respite, and that 30 minutes was incredibly restorative. It put a smile back on my face for at least a few minutes. (Ask Karl!)

It feels like it’s been months since I had the opportunity to sit beside the creek for any length of time. It does get a little harder to spend any quality time there (with my journal) when it’s freezing cold out or, as has happened several times this fall and winter, when the creek overflows its banks.

One More Thing

Before I write or share any more photos from my creek time today, I need to provide you with the link that actually was the impetus for me to write what I did last night. You see, I didn’t initially set out to write about the appalling situation in Ukraine. Heck, I initially tried to focus on the relentless energy of the puppies and their exuberance in running free in the mild weather.

(They really are hilarious. And they play with such reckless abandon, it’s a wonder they don’t hurt themselves when doing barrel rolls across the yard.)

There I go again, distracting myself. What the heck?

As you may recall, I’ve provided a list compiled by Professor Timothy Snyder (author of On Tyranny*) of excellent resources we can use to help Ukraine and the Ukrainian people. I also updated that list a few days later, I believe.

Well, he just came out with yet another list yesterday and I wanted to share it with you. Because the situation is so volatile and fluid, needs are changing and different organizations are stepping up to help. I really appreciate his efforts to find organizations that can accept our credit cards, as making a wire transfer can be a step too much for some people. Plus, I love the range of options he provides. They’re unique and practical – and some even address the crisis of providing accurate information to Russians.

This hawk and the one pictures below are the same bird. Photo: L. Weikel

Tohickon Again

I found myself just staring at the ripples created by the stones in the bed of the creek. Much as I wanted to write in my journal, which I did do at least a little (not enough for my satisfaction, though), my brain insisted on disengaging.

Naturally, I’m always on the lookout for birds of prey patrolling the waters. Today I was surprised to hear a crow squawking in indignation. It was chasing a hawk, which undoubtedly had been caught red-taloned trying to raid the crow’s nest.

Luckily for me, I managed to catch it in flight a couple times. One of those photos, though, you need to ‘look between the lines’ (of the trees), though, to see it!

Makes me wonder what else we need to look between the lines to see. Maybe it’s personal. Or maybe it’s global. I have noticed pretty acutely lately the profound truth of “as within, so without,” and “as above, so below.”

Look for the beauty hiding between the lines of the trees – Photo: L. Weikel

*affiliate link

(T+91)

It’s Wild Outside – ND #90

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Foreboding – Photo: L. Weikel

It’s Wild Outside

Wow, it’s wild outside. The wind is whooshing, whipping, sighing, and occasionally pelting rain down upon us. It doesn’t take a meteorological degree to know that the temperature outside is plummeting and we’ll be back to taking walks with neck gators and mittens augmenting our winter jackets.

Yeah – this is March weather. Wild and wooly. Unpredictable. Possibly a little scary with the way it can turn on a dime.

I knew I should’ve tried harder to take a photo of Pacha and Brutus this morning. They were absolute maniacs, reveling in their newfound freedom, tearing around the yard tackling each other, spinning, whirling, rolling, and occasionally flipping end over end (ass over tea cups?) (or is it ass over teakettle?). Not only were they exuberant over the mild temperatures, they also seemed completely buzzed by the rising winds and the cacophony of sensual overload they brought. It was as if the pups were experiencing the unsettling effects of our version of the Santa Ana winds.

Everywhere You Look

It seems like everywhere we look we can find evidence of behavior that could fall into the ‘Santa Ana’ category – that defies belief. I guarantee that on any given day you can find at least a dozen stories of people saying or doing things that just make you say, “What the hell are they thinking?” And in some cases, “Who do they think they are?”

Of course, it’s one thing to be dealing with two seven month old puppies hell-bent on tackling each other and ripping their chew toy away from each other. It’s quite another to be dealing with a national leader who cynically keeps his people propagandized and weak, lies with impunity, and deliberately thumbs his nose at all civilized rules of engagement, creating a culture of abject terror.

I find Putin’s nuclear posturing and veiled threats the worst kind of despicable. There’s no negotiating with a person like this. He’s incrementally taking more and more and more, without fear that he’ll be stopped, all because he the rest of the world now looks upon him as having been touched by the Santa Anas.

“Will he?” “Won’t he?” “He wouldn’t dare.” “Oh my God, he went there.”

He will use any excuse to ‘go there.’ He’s at the point where no good can come of this war; there can be no saving of face. He will decide he’s been dissed by us (and by that I also mean NATO) when he feels like it. While we dither and choose not to take advantage of the 40 mile long convoy being stuck in the muck because we refuse to breach a ‘no-fly zone,’ he will spontaneously decide to deem some random effort of support to Ukraine an equally egregious breach. And then do what he wants.

In the meantime, how many people will be permanently uprooted from their homes, from their families? How many cities, bridges, airports completely destroyed?

Where’s the Line? Photo: L. Weikel

Taking a Stand

It isn’t as if good faith negotiations are taking place. This entire fiasco is built on pretext and lies. Supposed cease-fires and evacuation routes are a mirage and enable the invaders to perpetrate even worse crimes against civilians (like leaving IEDs that look like children’s toys).

We can’t be afraid of someone who would order such atrocities. We can’t insist on playing by the technical rules when he refuses to play by them as well. What point is there for rules of engagement when only one side honors them?

My gut tells me he will wreak death and destruction for as long as he can and then decide on a whim, on a pretext, that the West has stepped over the line – a line he arbitrarily chooses. And then he’ll do what everyone is tiptoeing around right now. Why? Because he totally doesn’t give a shit. Not about his people, not about the Earth.

And there’s nothing we can do to change that reality. I hope we don’t sacrifice Ukraine to the “surely he won’t do that” crowd.

(T+90)

Blanket of Warm – ND #89

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Rabbit and Schnauzer Cloud Beings – Photo: L. Weikel

Blanket of Warm

Wow, was it warm out today. Holy cow. I thought I’d looked at the weather forecast a day or so ago and I could’ve sworn it wasn’t supposed to warm up significantly until a day or two from now. Apparently I was mistaken. The shock of walking out the door and expecting it to be a bit chilly, only to be whapped in the face by a blanket of warm, bordering-on-hot, air, was unsettling.

Perhaps I would’ve embraced the warmth today a little bit more had I been expecting it. Geesh, that makes me sound rigid. And perhaps even petulant.

Nevertheless, the warmth of the day inspired me to get outside and get things moving. I cleared the yard of a bunch of sticks and broken tree limbs. I tell myself they’re fodder for the next fire we have, hoping having kindling at the ready will encourage more of them.

Even the Clouds

Even the clouds got in on the act today. I was delighted to see a very obvious gigantic and ferocious rabbit bantering playfully with a puppy right before my eyes. Indeed – to my eye – the puppy might even be a Schnauzer.

By the time I got ‘round to Princess, Middle, and Liddle this evening, they’d apparently bedded down for the night. It was dark out and not a snuffle nor a snort was heard emanating from their enclosure. Guess I’ll have to catch them tomorrow.

The Best Part

But by far the best part of tonight’s walk was the magnificent chorus of tree frogs and peepers. They’re definitely erupting from the mud early this year – in fact, I’m pretty sure they first started singing on the last day of February! That just seems way too early.

I sometimes think the ones that are my favorite are not the ones that sound brave or never, ever tire. The peepers I like the best are the ones that have extremely deep and gravelly voices. I’ve conjured images of them in my mind that undoubtedly have nothing in common with what they actually look like.

They do seem to be getting louder and louder each night, though. They were nearly deafening tonight and could be heard at least a half mile away.

I wonder if they have peepers in Ukraine?  If they do, do they know enough to be quiet at critical moments? Or are they simply blasted out by the overwhelming noise of war?

I saw a terribly sad story of a young woman who was killed last night. She was helping deliver supplies to a dog shelter.

All these heartrending stories of lives disrupted as a result of a deranged man who wants what he wants and is willing to tell lies and sacrifice the lives of millions to get it. I can’t go there tonight.

I’d rather listen to peepers and see Cloud Beings masquerading as rabbits and puppies.

(T+89)

All I Can Do – ND #86

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Tonight’s sunset – Photo: L. Weikel

All I Can Do

Sometimes it’s all I can do not to just collapse into doom and gloom. I know that’s true for so many of us, watching from afar as chaos unfolds in Ukraine. We’re essentially helpless to stop the carnage. Sure, we can donate to organizations that can help the Ukrainians directly, either by providing food, clothing, shelter, transportation, and even defensive protection or by signing petitions, showing up in person at embassies or elsewhere – in other words, engaging in peaceful protest.

But then we’re confronted with insanity. How do you counter a leader who is muzzling his own people, shutting down all news organizations other than those spouting state-sanctioned propaganda, and even forcing his soldiers to drag around mobile crematoria that will clean up the evidence of Russian deaths, keeping his people ‘back home’ in the dark.

And we all know the tenterhooks the world is on now that we’re seeing shelling of Europe’s largest nuclear facility. Shelling a nuclear facility? What fresh hell is this madman aiming to create? And why would he shell a nuclear plant so close to his own border?

Today’s Fox – Photo: L. Weikel

Shift In Focus

There’s just too much unhinged behavior to even contemplate at the moment.

So I want to share with you the sweet sighting I had today as I walked. Nice little fox, wouldn’t you say?

I’ve tried to make it bigger, but it was still a stretch for my iPhone.

I also saw at least five red-shouldered hawks. I got a photo of one of them, but it’s hard to pick the bird out because it swooped down and against the backdrop of the trees at the edge of the field. If I could translate the ‘live’ action of iPhone’s live photos into the blog, I wouldn’t hesitate to post it. But I can’t.

Finally, Karl and I saw at least 28 turkeys cross the road ahead of us. Crossing from a field into the woods for the evening, where they’re undoubtedly roosting this minute, we counted at a minimum 28 birds. Amazing. And what an abundance of blessings.

Sorry – no photo of the turkeys we saw tonight. I couldn’t get close enough. But here’s one of other turkeys we’ve encountered.

Turkeys in the ‘hood – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+86)

First of March – ND #83

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Last Sunset of February 2022 – Photo: L. Weikel

First of March

Tonight is the last night of February, so by the time you’re reading this, it’ll be the first day of March. Time does march relentlessly forward, doesn’t it? But you also know what it means to be the first day of the month! It’s Perelandra time! I want to remind us all to take those fewer than five minutes or so required to engage in the Perelandra EoP Biodiversity Process tomorrow. You have all day to do it.

Goodness knows, any effort to reach out and work with like-minded people who care about the environment and want to promote balance and minimize the effects of climate change is a worthwhile activity. And in truth, I am sure it’s the only way we’re going to instigate change.

Indeed, we’re seeing the goosebump-raising power of countries linking hands and declaring Putin’s actions as 100 % unacceptable. The manner in which almost the entire world is rising up to show solidarity with Ukraine is heartening. It’s certainly giving me hope for humanity. I love when I see people rise up spontaneously on behalf of what is right.

Brutus – Photo: L. Weikel

Time

Speaking of time whizzing by, I think it’s time for me to give a Pupdate. It’s hard to believe these little munchkins will be seven months old the day after tomorrow, but it’s true.

They are such a joy – even when acting like the equivalent of teenagers! But the greatest gift of all is probably the cuddles and unconditional love.

It was so wonderful to hear that Poland opened its borders to Ukrainian refugees and lifted the restrictions on bringing pets. What a profound act of love and understanding. I can’t imagine having to leave my puppies (or kitties – even Cletus) behind if we had to flee. Allowing people to bring their pets feels incredibly compassionate. The horrors that Ukrainians are dealing with right now are hard enough to imagine. But to have to leave your beloved pets behind?

It seems we’re seeing a lot more surprising instances of kindness in the way most people are behaving in this conflict. Kindness, compassion, solidarity, ferocity. In many ways it feels like we’re seeing the absolute best of humanity.

Sadly, we’re also seeing – I’m not sure what. Madness? If it weren’t so horrific (and unpredictably precarious and uncertain) Putin’s behavior would be tragically sad. Perhaps it is both anyway.

Sleepy Pacha – Photo: L. Weikel

All Over the Place

I realize this post is hopping from one thought to another. I hope you enjoy my photos of Pacha and Brutus. And I urge you to engage in the Biodiversity Process tomorrow.

I wonder what the Crossroads from yesterday will bring to us this week…

Brutie – notice the ears – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+83)

Exposure of an Illusion – ND #82

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VI – Crossroads – Tarot of the Crone by Ellen Lorenzi-Prince

Exposure of an Illusion

Let’s face it. We have witnessed an unprecedented exposure of an illusion this weekend. Without a doubt, ‘conventional wisdom’ was tolling the death knell for Ukraine when it became clear last week that Putin was actually going to mobilize the nearly 200,000 troops he’d amassed along Ukraine’s eastern and northern border. No one believed Ukraine could stave off the Great Bear.

Yet the manner in which Putin’s attempt to run roughshod over Ukraine is imploding has the world agog. Indeed, the sheer refusal of the Ukrainians to yield has rallied and united almost the entire world against the bully Putin. Ukrainians are the model of a people willing to ferociously fight with every fiber of their being for everything they find precious: their freedom, their families, and the principle of democracy. The manner in which Ukrainians are fiercely protecting themselves and each other is probably how all of us – all over the world – would like to imagine we would personally act if faced with similar dire circumstances.

Given our mythology, I’d guess we Americans are especially prone to thinking we’d be as brave and resilient (and defiant) as the Ukrainians. Whether we would or we wouldn’t may yet be determined – sooner than we think.

Starting the Week

The unified slap down on Russia (I should say Putin – I don’t think anyone wants the majority of Russian people to suffer) by so many major nations is going to have a huge effect on the Russian economy, almost certainly by the time you’re reading this. As I write this, the value of the ruble has already plummeted. Knowing this, and sensing that this week could be like no other we’ve experienced (possibly ever), I sat with my Tarot of the Crone deck and asked what we need to know.

VI – Crossroads – Tarot of the Crone by Ellen Lorenzi-Prince

VI – Crossroads

“If you think      you can go back now

Think again

The choice must be made

No one can help you      All you know cannot help you

You cannot know the future     But you must know your heart     And choose to follow

Faces cloaked in shadow, triple Hekate stands at a crossroads on a moonless night. The brown paths indicate you have come to a time when making a decision affects your bodily existence, your life in the flesh, what you will do with your days and nights on this planet. The great hill behind Hekate says you don’t always get to choose the ways your life will turn. You don’t always get to see ahead. But when life does turn, make the best of it. Every face of hers is dark. She is not there to show you the way, she is there to challenge your path, to tell you to choose your course like your life depended on it. Her red cloaks and the living earth of the hill behind her, tell you the knowledge of the way lies in the quiet of your mind, the strength of your heart and the deep wisdom of your body. Listen. Each aspect is telling you, in it own way, how to live a life that includes their power.”

Underneath the Crossroads

Seven of Wands – Tarot of the Crone by Ellen Lorenzi-Prince

Seven of Wands – Risk

“To go further, to be more

I will light the match     I will fan the flames     I will dance with danger

Let Power lead

A cloaked figure stands with arms outspread amidst flames and lines of raw power. She plays with fire, as well as opening herself to let power play with her. She is willing to embrace danger in the hope of further achievement, knowing that sometimes you have to take chances. Trust your experience gained thus far; you know when something has potential. It’s time to take a real risk, but not a blind one. You know you can’t stay comfortable where you are. There’s more you want. So let the discomfort goad you into a creating a more powerful future and investing in a proposition. Go stand out on that limb.”

My Take

World-wide, we’re going to have a week unlike any in a very long time. The risks inherent in doing what’s right may feel daunting. May we choose wisely, with our hearts and minds balanced and unfettered by fear. And may we all find and embrace our inner Ukrainian ferocity.

And seriously: you cannot make this stuff up. These cards could not feel more potently accurate and sobering.

(T+82)

Luxury – ND #81

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Cloud Owl in Flight – Photo: L. Weikel

Luxury

While taking a walk early this evening, the tranquility of our lives, in this moment, was squarely in Karl’s and my awareness. Our greatest discomfort was how much colder it was tonight than it was a few days ago. We had the luxury of walking in silence, feeling awe as a hawk flew right across our path seemingly to get a better view of us, and delighting in a flock of over two dozen robins hopping around on the neighbor’s lawn.

Of course, we were thinking about the upheaval of the lives of Ukrainians who, quite possibly, may have taken a walk similar to ours less than a week ago. But now they’re refugees. Or quite possibly guerilla soldiers, dedicated to defending their country and willing to lose it all rather than succumb to Putin’s regime.

Even though we were, indeed, walking in silence (at least initially), I know our thoughts turned toward Ukraine at the same time without us having to exchange a single word. We just stopped, looked into each other’s eyes, and sighed.

Hawk on our left – Photo: L. Weikel

Target Practice

We sighed because all of a sudden the sounds and silence of nature were shredded by the rat-a-tat-tat of a rapid-fire weapon. I don’t know enough about firearms to know whether what we heard was an automatic or a semi-automatic – but I do know it’s not the type of gun that hunters use to shoot deer. Ah, there it was again. Across the hills from us, another burst of staccato gunfire. And then more. At least another six to ten bursts of bullets echoed through the countryside as we made our way up the hill.

Other than being used for target practice, we all know, deep down, what those types of guns are designed to ‘hunt.’ And the images of Ukrainian grandmothers arming themselves with Kalishnakovs and AK-47s springs to mind unbidden. What were they doing last week at this time?

Hawk taking flight and crossing before us – Photo: L. Weikel

Looking Up

At the same time that we hear those gunshots slashing at our peace, we look up and toward the west, only to find a massive cloud owl taking wing across the sky.

It could, of course, be a harbinger of death on the wind. Or it could be a symbol of protection. My first reaction when I saw the Cloud Owl was a sense of gratitude and familiarity, the appearance of a cherished friend and ally. To me, the Cloud Owl looks like it’s speeding off, intent upon fulfilling a mission. So I thanked it for appearing to us and asked it to bring protection and comfort to whomever needs it.

Cloud Owl in context – Photo: L. Weikel

 

(T+81)