I always have high hopes heading into the last two weeks of the year. No matter what, I always look upon this time of year as my cherished opportunity to find a cozy spot in the house and just READ.
Mostly, I let myself read after I’ve posted for the evening. Believe me, I don’t get very far, since I usually fall asleep within about five minutes. But see, between Christmas and New Years each year, I actually bring my book downstairs! It’s allowed to mingle outside the bedroom, which increases its potential for being picked up and read rather significantly.
The fiction I’m reading at the moment is The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisin. It’s the first in a trilogy, which means if I love the writing, I can look forward to months of delicious anticipation each night. So far so good.
Sunset 26 Dec 2021 – Photo: L. Weikel
Slightly Ragged Start
I have to admit that my experience of the book literally got off to a slightly ragged start. If you take a look at the photo of the book, above, you’ll see that the puppies discovered the joys of paperbacks a few weeks back. Luckily, I discovered their transgression before any words were harmed in the process.
Just in the past night or so, in spite of the ridiculously late hour I found myself sliding between the sheets and snagging a few minutes with my book, I actually managed to read enough to finally feel ‘hooked.’ Now I’m finding the book is calling to me – enticing me to ‘write already’ so I can return to the world so persuasively created by N. K. Jemisin.
Besides Reading
Besides the allure of spending unrestricted time immersing myself in another world, I’m also looking forward to breaking in a new tarot deck. It’s always fun to do a spread for the coming year, choosing a card for each month, just to get a sense of what that month might hold.
But first – during the days just after Christmas especially – it’s fascinating to go back to my notes and reflect upon the cards I chose last year. I’m finding my sense of time has been altered significantly by the pandemic. Nothing feels the same. Time doesn’t flow in the same way it used to. Not that this is a bad thing; it’s just vastly different in some ways. And I’m wondering if time will continue to feel this abstract and obtuse from here on out.
Wintry Mix
We’re supposed to get a ‘wintry mix’ of weather tomorrow. All the more reason to stay home and hunker down. I’ll watch the I AM Symposium, play some games, read some of my book – and maybe even write a little something myself.
I hope you’re giving yourself permission to do some of your favorite things this week too.
XI – Strength – The Tarot of the Crone by Ellen Lorenzi-Prince
A Most Perfect Time
A new moon in the sign of Virgo occurred this evening at 8:51 p.m. Eastern Time. New beginnings. Setting new goals. A most perfect time to change things up in our lives, make fresh commitments, and start actively dreaming a new world into being.
The power of this particular new moon is magnified, of course, by the fact that it also marks the beginning of the Jewish New Year celebration of Rosh Hashanah, which began at sundown. The added ritual, prayer, and sacredness being brought to this month’s new moon precisely because of its significance to our Jewish brothers and sisters only adds to the power of this moment.
Yes, every new moon is a new beginning of one sort or another. But we’re also quite aware of the fact of power in numbers. There’s an energetic upgrade to our thoughts and efforts when we gather together to envision our future. So now more than ever it feels essential to our survival to work together toward imagining greater understanding, facilitating peace, and perhaps even seeking justice.
Spiritual Miracle Gro®
I asked for a card to serve as a form of fertilizer for the seeds we’re planting at this powerful new moon and New Year. The card that revealed itself from my Tarot of the Crone deck was Strength.
Perhaps this message can serve as a meditation or point of reflection this week:
“I am Spirit
Making a body
Is what I do
I am Body
Expressing a spirit
Is what I do
You are Primal
You are Sublime
You are the Strongest
When both are One
In Strength is the image of a woman arising from the belly of a golden cobra. The background is the red of healthy power and passion. Strength is enlightened flesh, the life force flowing from your heart, from your belly and from your spirit. Strength is the power of kundalini, the energy ‘snake’ that uncoils from the base of the spine and rises up, bringing healing and knowledge. This is not about spirit taming the body, or lusts of the body overpowering the spirit; this is integration; this is knowing these are not separate things. Spirit and will are not attributes of the mind alone. Emotion is not felt only by the heart. Your body holds them all.
Whatever shape your body is in right now, it’s time to celebrate its life. Know that every breath you take feeds your power and infuses you with goodness and inspiration. Every breath you take is a victory over the forces of destruction. Feel how each cell of your body is an entire endless universe and how al of it, all of it, belongs to you.”
A Thought
It occurs to me as I share these words of Ellen Lorenzi-Prince (creator of The Tarot of the Crone) that this specific interpretation of the Strength card could not be more perfect for the times we find ourselves in.
Given the misogynistic ‘law’ passed by the Texas legislature ripping power over women’s bodies away from women themselves and handing it over to random religious zealot vigilantes, I have a feeling we’re going to see the Power of Woman rise up. It’s going to be a new day in Texas and this country.
Women will not knuckle under to this fear-based oppression. On the contrary, now that the stakes have been set, and the gauntlet thrown (thank you, Supreme Court), we will rise up from the belly of the cobra – precisely like the woman in the Strength image. It is a most perfect time for us to do so. Our bodies hold our spirits, will, and emotion. And I guarantee we will not relinquish our power to the fear-based minority (the forces of destruction) who quake at what they do not know or understand.
Two of Wands – Rider, Waite, Smith deck – Photo: L. Weikel
Portals
A friend asked me the other day about the concept of portals and the number 11. After I mentioned the connection between the two in a recent post, she wondered whether the connection between 11s and portals is consistent between astrology, numerology, and shamanic work (where traveling between realms is an essential aspect of the tradition).
As an artist, she could easily see how the number 11 resembles the two sides of a doorway. But her question plumbed far deeper than the superficial observation.
In my experience, two pillars, but possibly two of almost anything depending upon context, often evoke the energetic desire of the observer to go through or between them. There’s an etheric barrier implied, an energetic tension between the two columns, that beckons to be pierced.
Maybe it’s the tendency for us humans to be fixated on duality that fosters this sense. We tend to see duality all over the place: in/out, up/down, male/female, black/white. So of course if there’s a threshold in front of us, there’s the tendency for us to think in terms of here/there.
Where?
A doorway intuitively leads us from here to there. So it’s a significator; it announces to us that we are leaving where we’ve been and entering new or different territory.
I can’t remember where or from whom I first learned that 11s are portals. I think it was probably more of a symbolic association than anything else. But as soon as I began my metaphysical studies almost 40 years ago, I realized how prevalent is the consideration of 11s as something special.
Tarot
As I’ve mentioned in other posts, it took me a long time to feel comfortable exploring the tarot. But once I realized its value as an amazing means of accessing psychological and spiritual insight, the symbolism – when I gave myself permission to free associate – seemed to just fall into place intuitively. Although when I reread that sentence, I wonder if it was the development of my confidence in my ability to intuit symbols that finally helped me appreciate the value of the tarot.
Hmm. A thought for another time.
All I can say at this moment in time is that pondering this question has made me pull out a bunch of 11s in just one tarot deck. I want to use them as examples of how they lead from one state of reality, understanding, awareness, or experience to another.
But it’s taking me down a rabbit hole and I realize I don’t have nearly enough time to explore this and have some fun with it.
11s
Suffice it to say for the moment that I have a special relationship to 11s. Not only do I have 11s showing up for myself numerologically, but of course Karl died on 11/11/11. I’ve always felt he couldn’t resist all the portals that showed up in front of him – so he went through and didn’t return.
For now, I’m just going to comment on how the Two of Wands, pictured above, shows a person on the brink of moving out into a whole new world. He just needs to go through the doorway formed by the Wands on either side of him. It’s his choice. The world is in his hands.
The Naked Heart Tarot by Jillian C. Wilde – Photo: L. Weikel
Letting Go
Last Monday, Karl and I went on our walkabout (the four miler) and picked cards from a deck I’ve been working with for just over a year: Jillian C. Wilde’s The Naked Heart Tarot*. I love this deck for many reasons, from the imagery to the turns of phrase, perspectives, and interpretations offered by the author.
My intention when shuffling the cards and putting my breath into them was to ask for additional guidance or assistance in fleshing out, if you will, the Medicine Cards I’d chosen on January 1st, which set the tone for my year, which I’ve yet to write about. (I’ll share that within the next few days.)
My pick was pretty intense: Judgment (XX) on top with The Tower (XVI) underneath.
As we walked and I was reading out loud the author’s take on these cards, I felt a prickle of wariness flutter up my spine. There was a clear, interconnected theme to these two cards, that was unmistakable. Yet I didn’t – couldn’t – see where this would play out in my life. Knowing that astrologically, last week, we were approaching the full moon and eclipse in Cancer, with additional rock-the-boat-powerful aspects arriving today (January 12, 2020), I uneasily accepted that the impact of these cards could come from any direction.
The Messages
The top card I chose was Judgment (XX).
Instead of paraphrasing, I’m just going to quote directly from the “LWB” (Little White Book) – meaning the book that accompanies the deck. (In this case, however, it is black and not as little as one might expect). I’ve discovered that authors of card decks usually received insight directly from the card archetypes as they’re creating them. And while a reader’s intuitive interpretation of cards is essential and should always be heeded, it’s often helpful to take into account the deck’s creator’s hits as well.
The Naked Heart Tarot – Photo: L. Weikel
Judgment (XX) – A New Awakening
“The butterfly broadens its wings expanding into a new level of consciousness where it has awakened with eyes wide open. The butterfly flies upwards; one step closer to spiritual attainment, releasing the ghosts of butterfly’s past behind, as it rises to new heights.
The Message: The Judgment card represents forgiveness, letting go of past mistakes, and things that haunt you. Butterfly energy encourages transformation through acknowledgment and transition. It is about having the courage and facing the demons that you bury in the shadows and recesses of your psyche. When you willingly choose to conceal the secrets of your past and shameful moments in your life, it causes metaphorical scar tissue to grown on your soul, making it harder to heal and release old wounds.
This card is asking you to bring forth these ghosts and address them so you can move forward with freedom from the past. Accepting the things you can change and legging go of what you cannot control. Forgiveness is the act of knowing things could not have been any other way.
This card represents significant transformation and rebirth of spirit. When you step outside your past and enter the present with newfound clarity, healed wounds, and a new awareness, the world takes on a new perspective. It is lighter, different, anew.
Additional Meaning: Transformation, release, letting go, rewards for past efforts, clarity, rebirth, resurrection, judgment, forgiveness, new purpose.”
The card underneath, which I interpret as ‘fleshing out’ or adding context to the card on top, was:
The Naked Heart Tarot – Photo: L. Weikel
The Tower (XVI) – Sudden and Unexpected Shift in Energy
“Lightning suddenly strikes the tree, setting it ablaze. It causes burning pieces to fly off, creating a ripple effect setting the surrounding area on fire and then it is washed out by the devastation of a flood. The abundance of fire and water are out of control removing everything from their path creating a clean slate for new beautiful growth.
The Message: The Tower represents a time when all that you know and recognize now becomes unrecognizable. As fast as the lightning strikes the tree, you will be hit with an immediate awakening of truth. You may feel out of your comfort zone and are left with a raw and vulnerable sense of unknowingness. Nothing feels like it makes sense and all may feel lost. Your beliefs may be called into question, as there is a sudden shift in perspective, and energy.
The Tower may be a sign that the Universe is taking action for you towards something you have been unable, or unwilling to see or admit. You may have been hanging on to something for too long, and going against your better judgment or choosing to not see a situation or yourself through the eyes of truth. The upheaval of The Tower will provide you with the necessary growth and expansion you need to move forward aligned with your higher calling. It is an opportunity to release old familiar structures, release and heal wounds, and rebuild a tower of strength within yourself; relying firmly on a new found awareness. It may seem fearful or confusing when you are in the thick of the emotional turmoil. However, as time passes and wounds heal, you will have a better understanding of why things happened. You may even feel grateful that they did.
Additional Meaning: Sudden change, upheaval, shocking truth, breaking apart, emotional outburst, turmoil, destruction, new beliefs, new growth.”
Upshot
In astonishing and truly lightning bolt (Uranian) fashion, I believe this did, indeed, play out in my life over the past few days. To be honest, I’m still reeling. But I’m dedicated to practicing what I preach and thus intend to deeply reflect not only on the events and revelations of the past few days, but also my feelings, my understandings, and ideally, my ability to find forgiveness. It may be an intense week.
This will probably be a pretty short post. I’m still in the midst of my laptop saga. There is a chance I will be visited by a Dell technician tomorrow, provided the new motherboard and LCD something-or-other have been delivered. But it sounds like the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing, so it will be interesting to see how this unfolds. And of course I will keep you updated!
Once again: I am SO GRATEFUL to have my MacBook Air. Geesh, where would I be without it?
In the meantime, I want to alert you to a decidedly dubious decision made by Facebook today.
I have a great friend, Myrina, who recently launched a website and instagram account offering a unique and fascinating insight into the application of tarot in our lives, working specifically with a really cool deck that focuses on alchemy. This is her website . Her instagram name is cosmic.meta.crow.
Now I want you to contemplate everything you see and hear and read about not only on FB, but also on television, in magazines, in movies, etc. Think about all of the egregious images and concepts that fill our airwaves every day.
Well, guess what? (I’m sure on some level you won’t be surprised in the least.) Facebook (or Instagram) (or both) refused to allow Myrina to promote her post for this week (a three card “spread” for which she offers an interpretation for readers to ponder) because of the Lovers Card!
Check that card out. It doesn’t even have any full-frontal nudity! It is the Lovers card. And her post was deemed offensive.
I find it offensive that we can be inundated with violence every day, but a drawing of two human bodies, in repose and affection, with hardly the slightest glimpse of anything is deemed too risqué for publication.
I think this whole ridiculousness highlights the astonishing prudishness (or should I say, “Puritanism?”) that remains vital and flourishing in this country.
How in the world can the human body be deemed offensive when killing and maiming it is not? Indeed, even more perverse is the categorization of the concept of “Lovers” as objectionable. Is it sex? They’re clearly not “having sex” on this card. Just what is so terrifying about the ultimate expression of our desire for union anyway?
If you are interested in a fascinating, complex, introspective perspective on tarot and how it might provide you with some insight and guidance each week, I encourage you to visit my subversive cosmic.meta.crow friend’s site. Be a little naughty (at least, according to Facebook) – you just might fly free!
I saw this video (click on the title, above) about a week ago, when my friend, Beth, posted it on FB. The video (which I love, and can’t get out of my head) is performed by her son, Asher Roth.
I’ve known Beth for about eight years now. Maybe nine.
In December, 2010, my son Karl and I drove cross-country from California back to Pennsylvania. Some of the encounters we had along the way may provide fodder for future posts, but not tonight.
My point in bringing that trek up is to give context to the fact that I gave Karl an astrological-and-tarot reading with Beth that month. He was just completing his ‘Saturn return’ (an occurrence we all experience every 28-30 years, which I’ll definitely write about soon) and he allowed me to sit in on the reading with him, which was fascinating.
Transits and Challenges
This was the first time he’d been home in at least a year, I believe, and it had been a tough one. I’m so glad he and Beth let me sit in, because I took notes during the reading – which I’d forgotten and only just rediscovered recently. This discovery proved particularly fortuitous, since Beth had long since deleted her recording of the reading when he lost his life eleven months later.
The tale told by the position of the stars at his birth and the transits that were bringing challenges and adventures for him to experience that next year (2011) were eerily remarkable, particularly in hindsight.
But I digress.
During that ‘reading,’ and many, many times since then, Beth has remarked how much Karl reminded her of her son, Asher. The creativity, the affection, the sense of humor, the depth. The talent.
When I watched and listened to Asher’s song last week, I knew I would post it today, because we held Karl’s Gathering in honor of his life on the Saturday following Thanksgiving Day 2011. So on this Saturday following Thanksgiving Day 2018, with the recent release of this heart-expanding and yet heart-rending video, I knew I wanted to post this in honor of all the sons out there like Asher. And Karl. Sons who venture out into the world to do their thing, make their mark, and create something unique to their hearts – yet ultimately realize the depth of their roots and what really matters.
What Really Matters
I have to admit, the first time I watched this I tried to maintain an emotional distance. I tried to pretend it wouldn’t touch me, even though I knew simply from the title that it would. I tried not to feel how much I wished I could feel the arms of Karl around me once again.
But the second time? Not a chance. I couldn’t not feel tears welling up in my eyes and a sob catching in my throat. There is such a beauty to this video. Such a reflection of love of family, of appreciation for what is truly valuable and meaningful…
There is such a reflection, to me, of what I had with Karl and what I’m lucky enough to have with my two other sons (and their father). And the two amazing young women I now consider daughters.
Family. Love. Roots.
This video is amazing and makes it almost possible for me to imagine Karl creating it for me.
