Effects of Stress – ND #95

Posted on March 13, 2022March 13, 2022 by Lisa Weikel 2 Comments

Like Pacha, I just want to hide my head – Photo: L. Weikel

Effects of Stress

Sometimes the effects of stress we’re feeling come out in ways we don’t expect. And sometimes we don’t even realize we’re feeling stress, since technically, for all intents and purposes, we’re doing well.

I know that’s true with me. I’ve noticed over the past several days that my jaw and teeth ache on one side in particular – and I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve been clenching my teeth while I sleep. It’s become obvious I’m going to have to resurrect my mouth guard from the bowels of my bedside table.

Let’s face it: I have no reason to clench my teeth. Sure, we’re all at risk – all of us, all over the world – when the amoral brutality of an unchecked dictator continues unabated. This is especially true when you consider that he has more nuclear weapons than anyone else in the world at his disposal. But that’s such a broad-stroked, bordering-on-amorphous threat to our existence that it’s honestly not something I feel warrants clenched teeth.

That’s why I’m surprised I’m clenching.

The Innocents

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not just kids and animals. Given the fabricated pretext of the invasion, I doubt you could characterize anyone in Ukraine as ‘guilty’ of provoking the Russian war on Ukraine. But the images of families being split up, mothers lugging babies and toddlers, and people carrying their pets miles and miles (because they’re family too) brings me to an edge within myself.

I feel stress when even considering how we would manage transporting our three cats and two pups if faced with similar forced refugee circumstances. What if we had to run to Massachusetts or New Mexico or Oregon for safety? How would we keep our family of familiars safe and together? How would we all manage to weather the brutal cold and snowstorm that’s hitting our area at this very moment?

Yes, from thousands of miles away, we can make donations of money or items needed to rebuild lives after escaping with essentially nothing but the clothes on their backs. Diapers, sanitary products, warm clothes, food – for people and for those beloved pets – can at least be provided in a stop-gap fashion. But there’s so much to life and living we take for granted. Right down to the ache in my face from clenching my teeth. It’s nothing compared to the pain and wounds of those enduring this hell first-hand.

I want to end on a positive thought – but all I can think is, “Peace Eagles.”

(T+95)

In Perfect Timing – ND #88

Posted on March 6, 2022March 6, 2022 by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment

Cherry Sunset – Photo: L. Weikel

In Perfect Timing

As much as I hoped to devote time this weekend to working on those seeds I wanted to plant at the new moon last week (eye roll), I’ll admit to all of you: I’ve yet to sit with this the way I’d hoped. Timing is everything, and I may be in perfect timing – or I may have missed my chance. Perhaps I’ll never know.

Oh, I worked on stuff that cannot be ignored. It’s not as if I took a siesta from life and just immersed myself in a novel or something. No; instead of engaging in the contemplation I yearn for, I worked on getting our tax information together. Ugh. Talk about a thankless job.

But you know what? I realize even as I write this: the anxiety I feel over this process has less to do with reality and so very much more with remembering traumatic times from years ago. Like back before I knew about Quicken and had to go through my checkbook registers line by line and put things together for the accountant.

Yeah, we’re talking good times.

Cherry Sunset from Afar – Photo: L. Weikel

Clearing the Decks

I had a choice. I could’ve decided to simply sit with my journal and let myself rip – get down and dirty with my deepest, truest dreams for the next two and a half years.

Instead, I chose to take that time and, instead, clear the decks. It’s a risky business; I know that. It’s always dicey, wondering whether you’re avoiding introspection by committing to completing an unpleasant but necessary task. And sometimes, I suppose, it’s both.

And it’s not to say that I have any reason to avoid setting those new moon intentions. But it can be difficult sometimes to know with certainty what they are. Do I set the same (or remarkably similar) intentions as I have been known to set in the past? Or do I throw it all out and commit to something entirely different?

Simple Pleasures

All I know is, after working on tax preparation all afternoon, I was very ready to take a walk. And my day was made complete by a reunion with Princess, Liddle, and Middle. I’ve discovered their favorite treat (a small peanut butter biscuit) and their joy in snarfing them up (one each!) in turn makes me happy.

It’s the little things in life.

Liddle, Middle, & Princess Smiing and Happy – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+88)

Hunker Down – Day 998

Posted on August 6, 2021August 7, 2021 by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment

Arf! – Photo: L. Weikel

Hunker Down

Is it just me? Or are you guys feeling it too? Lately I can’t even walk into the grocery store without feeling an edginess in the air that’s unlike anything I’ve felt before (especially in the grocery store!). Even when the pandemic was first starting to rear its ugly head back in March and April 2020, I didn’t feel this level of anxiety in the general populace. If you ask me it’s time to hunker down again.

OK, I’ll admit it. That’s coming from a person who probably would choose ‘Hunkering Down for $200, Alex.” In all honesty, I’d choose it for free.

The last thing I feel like doing is getting into a discussion with someone in the produce aisle who’s on a hair trigger over the fact that I’m wearing a mask. And believe it or not, I felt the possibility of that happening twice this week. I nearly fell over.

No to the Boston

And then another time this week, I saw a person walking across the parking lot I’d just entered with a cute little Boston Terrier on a leash. Well. You can all imagine how I swooned. Ooooh, how this puppy reminded me of Sheila when she was just a girl.

I jumped out of my car, whipped my debit card in and out of the meter to throw some money on it and turned to speak to the Boston and her daddy. “Your Boston is adorable!” I called out with a big smile. “I have two!” (never fully admitting to myself that Sheila is really gone).

Neither of us were wearing masks (we were in the great outdoors), and I asked if I could pet his pup. “Aren’t you concerned with…” he asked, waving his free hand in the air.

I stopped in my tracks. We were a good 20 feet away from each other. “What?” I was genuinely puzzled. Surely he knew I had no intention of getting anywhere near him. I just wanted to say hi to his pup.

“Covid,” he responded. I was taken aback. Honestly, it had never even occurred to me that I wouldn’t be permitted to pet a dog on a 10’ leash. You don’t get Covid from pet fur. Or even from surfaces. You get it from aerosols in the air; hence why it’s wise to wear masks when indoors.

“Oh,” I replied. “Would it bother you…?”

“Yes, it would, as a matter of fact.” Ugh. His tone. It had turned so…icy.

Backed Off

Whoa. OK. Of course I immediately stopped in my tracks (still about 15 feet away from the dog dad and five feet away from the Boston, which had of course had immediately responded to my high pitched hello to it and headed my way). I felt like I’d been smacked.

My reaction was silly, I suppose. But his abrupt attitude took me by such surprise.

It’s hard to know where anyone stands anymore. Or how they will react to many of the circumstances we used to consider mundane.

Makes me just want to hunker down in my own safe place. I haven’t a clue as to how people feel about anything anymore. And the enormity of that almost brought me to tears.

Spartacus in Repose – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-113)

A Donkey On the Edge – Day 846

Posted on March 7, 2021March 7, 2021 by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment

Photo: L. Weikel

A Donkey On the Edge

One phrase from the movie Shrek, uttered by the inimitable Eddie Murphy as Donkey himself, resonated so profoundly with me when I heard it that it became a permanent part of my personal lexicon of go-to phrases. Yes. It’s true. Referring to myself as a ‘donkey on the edge’ whenever I’m stressed out to the max could not be a more spot-on description.

I have to say, I think the animated movies that came out when my youngest sons were little were the very best of the best. We’re talking through the middle and late 90’s: Toy Story, The Lion King, Shrek, just to name a few. Another one that belongs in that lineup, albeit a completely different cup of tea than the first three mentioned, would be The Snowman.

It’s possible that these favorites hold their special place in my heart precisely because we enjoyed watching them together. Nevertheless, they’re also classics in themselves, conveying themes that resonate with our shared humanity and the values we want our kids and each other to hold.

Laughter – the Ultimate Tension Breaker

That said, and as much as I am inevitably reduced to tears watching Toy Story and The Lion King (or just hearing the musical theme of The Snowman), when I watch Shrek, I laugh. And the character that makes me laugh the most is, of course, Donkey.

Donkeys (in real life) and I go way back. Probably the most notorious instances of my relationship with donkeys harkens back to some shamanic training I did in Ireland 12 or 13 years ago. The estate where we gathered for the weeklong sacred work had some resident donkeys among a cadre of other wild and not-so-wild life, including two dogs that were as big as ponies.

But the donkeys captivated me. (There’s more to the story but not for tonight.)

As I sit here this evening thinking about these movies, I’m basically talking myself into watching at least Shrek tomorrow. I need a laugh.

I’ve been a ‘donkey on the edge’ lately, as have some other people in my psychic space.

Laughter is definitely what we all could use – in abundance.

(T-265)

Sweet Options – Day 803

Posted on January 23, 2021January 23, 2021 by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment

Bark + Bee Honey – Photo: L. Weikel

Sweet Options

I’ve written about it before, and I’ll admit, the challenge continues. It’s real. I’m cautiously optimistic that this week’s inauguration will provide at least some respite to the nearly insatiable desire to self-soothe through comfort food. That said, we are still in the midst of a pandemic, and from the sound of things, everything could be on the brink of getting dramatically worse. All of which is to say: The stress of daily living appears in no hurry to diminish. Therefore, I need options. Preferably sweet options.

Why? Because the last kiffel disappeared today – as stealthily as DT did on Wednesday morning. And while I’m paying the price for the stress of the election and its aftermath (and feeling it when I put on my clothes), I must admit: I need to distract myself from ingesting the last remaining vestiges of holiday mischief still lurking about. These evil tempters are especially insidious at night, waiting to taunt and cajole me when I’m up late at night writing my 1111 Devotion.

Andy to the Rescue!

Yesterday, our postman, Andy, brought us an exciting delivery: a jar of Bark + Bee honey. Talk about sweet options! The prospect of this golden gift of the bees drizzled over a smattering of walnuts and topping a cup of plain Icelandic yogurt is even more tantalizing than an ice cream sundae. That’s because it satisfies my as-yet-unsated (if that’s not a word, it should be) urge for the dopamine effects of comfort and knowledge that all is well. And it’s good for me!

The cool thing is, beyond the universally known benefits of honey and plain, low fat yogurt, the addition of Bark + Bee honey, in particular, benefits both – you guessed it – dogs and bees!

Just…yum – Photo: L. Weikel

Bark + Bee Honey Company

The brainchild of two young women entrepreneurs in Princeton, NJ, cousins Laila Palmer and Gabby Issa, Bark + Bee Honey Company was created to both support their neighboring bee populations and provide much-needed funds (100% of their profits) to local dog shelters.

Sweet options abound! From choosing honey from local beekeepers whose bees work to pollinate the myriad crops of the Garden State to supporting facilities that foster pups for adoption rather than those offered by breeders for profit, what’s not to love?

No Escape – Day 795

Posted on January 15, 2021January 15, 2021 by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment

Tohickon Flow 14 Jan 21 – Photo: L. Weikel

No Escape

There’s so much stress swirling around all of us these days. It’s in the atmosphere, on the news, in the grocery store, on the Capitol steps. It’s bombarding us on our phones, in our homes, and definitely squeezing hospitals all across the country – and around the world. It seems there’s no escape.

But there is. It’s called Nature.

I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here. Nevertheless. Even if I am, I’m going to repeat myself. Because no matter how vigilant we are about maintaining our balance or taking a break from the news, it can be all too easy to talk ourselves out of it in times like these. Taking a walk, watching the flow of a creek, or sitting on the porch for 15 minutes to watch the sunset can feel entirely inappropriate when viewed through the lens of how dire life can seem at the moment.

Case in Point

Over the weekend, when I wrote about how so many of us are feeling under pressure, Spartacus was also feeling the stress. The very same day my tooth broke, Spartacus woke up with an extreme flare-up of what’s commonly called ‘Cherry Eye.’ I describe it as extreme because he has occasionally sported a red bump in the corner of his eye before, but never was it so huge as it was on Sunday. It was extremely disconcerting to look at him. It almost felt as though he, too, had been feeling the pressure – and while I took my stress out on my tooth, he manifested his where his body was the weakest.

Even worse than how awful it looked was how sad he became. He was totally thrown off his game by losing most of the sight in his eye – and sadly, that’s how large the prolapse was. Even when he slept, his eye wasn’t closing. He barely sniffed at his food. We even took a walk, but in spite of the mild weather, his heart wasn’t in it.

I’m glad to report that the ointment they gave me for his eye worked wonders – even on the bulge as big as it was. He feels so much better now. (I’ll post an ‘after’ photo tomorrow – or soon, at least. I promise!)

Spart’s Cherry Eye – Photo: L. Weikel

Lost My Point

Ha ha – as I sit here, I swear, I’ve lost the point of where I was going with this post. I didn’t intend to write in such detail about Spartacus’s affliction, but there it is. I’ll share it, since it has a happy resolution. I didn’t want to write about it while we were going through it because it’s one thing to write about a broken tooth and quite another to write about your puppy (even if he is 12 years old) looking like he’s been in a war.

I didn’t want to bum any of us out any more than we were already feeling!

I Remember Now

I was writing about the simple joy of being in Nature and how essential it is for all of us to be reminded of that fact, especially as we face these intensely stressful times. I related the story about Spartacus because this afternoon, he and I were hanging out on the porch for a moment as I filled the birdfeeders, and I was filled with gratitude that he was feeling so much better and was shamelessly basking in the sun.

We’ve had a satisfying array of visitors to our feeders, and Karl’s trick of hanging chunks of Irish Spring soap to the feeders seems to have quelled the deer from draining the tubes each night. As I listened to the birds chirping and cheeping in the branches and bushes surrounding the porch, alerting all their friends and neighbors that the two legged was finally refilling the feeders and maybe even putting out some peanuts, I recalled an article I’d read recently about the impact of birdwatching on our happiness.

Just another example of how being in Nature is a balm to our souls.

In spite of all the anxiety we’re feeling over extremism in our lives and the possibility of more violence over the next several days, give yourselves the gift of appreciating the simple, natural, pleasures in life. The cardinals and chickadees. The squirrels and goldfinches. The puppy who can see again, scrounging up shelled peanuts that fall to the ground when you’re filling the peanut coil.

It’s the little things.

(T-316)

Is It Just Me – Day 714

Posted on October 26, 2020October 26, 2020 by Lisa Weikel 8 Comments

Friends – Photo: L. Weikel

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me, or does anyone else wonder how the candidates – but especially the two 70+-something men running at the top of their respective parties’ tickets – manage to campaign day in and day out, week after week, month after month?

Honestly, it just seems like campaigning is unbelievably intense work, and I question how any of the nominees are able to maintain their schedules over the insanely long period of time that campaigns encompass in our country. And that doesn’t even take into consideration recent illnesses (cough) or other infirmities. Or just plain being in their 70s, for heaven’s sake.

The whole process of running for office in our country seems out of balance.

Things Feel Really Weird

I feel like I’m in limbo. In some ways, I can’t believe we’ve had to endure the past four years. There’s a part of me that feels incredibly excited by the prospect that our country is now at the point where we can redeem ourselves, not only for ourselves but also in the eyes of the rest of the world. Of course, the flip side of that excitement is pit-in-my-stomach dread over what may unfold on November 3^rd – and beyond.

I know I’m not expressing anything unique here. And I regret that I’m unable to muster a discussion of anything more interesting or entertaining. But I’m finding myself binge-eating comfort foods and having a hard time thinking about how things will be two weeks from now.

In some ways, it feels like everything is going to change on November 3^rd. It’s hard for me to even contemplate plans for Thanksgiving. Given everything that’s happening not only across our country but apparently throughout Europe and beyond, planning on doing anything beyond hunkering down and playing it safe would be irresponsible to everyone we love.

Maybe it was watching 60 Minutes tonight that has me fried. I don’t know.

A Few Of My Friends

I’m going to sign off for this evening. Since there are precious few photos I could share that would have anything to do with what I’ve written above, I’m going to share a couple I took earlier today of some friends who ran up to me when I called to them on our walk.

Their friendliness made me happy. I’m going to try to remember a couple carrots tomorrow.

We have to take care of ourselves – and our friends – in these weird times.

Do You Have a Treat For Me? – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-397)

Keeping It Together – Day 570

Posted on June 4, 2020 by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment

Spunky Girl Setting the Pace – Photo: L. Weikel

Keeping It Together

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m finding the task of ‘keeping it together’ exhausting.

And the weird thing is, it’s not as if I can feel my energy and resilience being drained in any given moment. No. Instead of creating a bodily tiredness that stems from sustained, productive physical effort, such as mowing a lawn or digging a garden, this exhaustion is mental, emotional, and energetic.

As a result, the profound weariness – at least as I’m experiencing it – sneaks up on me when I least expect it. It’s as if one moment I’m chugging along just fine and the next moment I’m struggling to take one more step up the steep hill we encounter every day during our walk.

Looking to Sheila

“What in the world’s the matter with me?” I wonder out loud. The expression on Karl’s face tells me he’s feeling it as well. We look to Sheila, ever the faithful hound, to save us. She happily (if obliviously) obliges, standing in the middle of the road halfway up the hill to take a breather. We kid ourselves that we’re stopping for Sheila, but we both know it’s as much for us as it is for her.

At the crest of the hill, the land flattens out and we’re greeted to the familiar expanse of the meadows where we often encounter the somewhat aloof horse that resides there. Sheila wastes no time picking up the pace that’s impressive, frankly. We wonder where she gets her energy and spunk at 15 years and 9 months. Yikes. Do the math.

It’s Everything, Of Course

Keeping it together in the midst of a global pandemic that some believe is a ‘hoax’ and thus refuse to inconvenience themselves enough to even wear a mask that might protect both us and them is a stress. Add to that the horror of watching our country cry out in pain only to be met by the angry fist of a petty, insecure tyrant. And then, lurking at the back of all of our minds is the question of whether the coronavirus is spreading like wildfire as thousands upon thousands of us march and gather in protest to the corrosive effects of systemic racism and abuse of power.

Efforts are made to practice social distancing and the vast majority wear masks…but still. The crowds are massive in some cities. The risk is huge. The price of demanding justice may become stunningly dear.

Yeah, it’s exhausting. But this is when we need to tap into our reserves. We need to drop into our core and remember what we treasure most in life. We need to find our own unique, spiritual center of calm resolve and strength. What color is it? What does it look like? Is it a place? A feeling? A knowing?

Hmm. Good questions for pondering in these volatile times.

I might be exhausted now, but I’m going to permit myself to sleep. Rest up. You should, too. We’re going to need our wits about us in the days ahead.

Sheila setting a good example – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-541)

Lost Cause – Day 535

Posted on April 30, 2020 by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment

Waxing April Moon – Photo: L. Weikel

Lost Cause

Well, today was a lost cause. All I did was run around and feel thwarted at almost every turn.

We’ve all had days like this. You know…when nothing turns out the way you intended? When everything you attempt to do ends up not only not happening but turning into its own pile of mess?

I Should’ve Known

Sometimes you don’t need to pick a card to get a handle on how your day is going to unfold. Like when you step in a puddle of kitty barf as you head to the bathroom first thing in the morning. Not a good sign.

Or when you realize that the kitty barf is actually something that they were repeatedly trying to evacuate from their bodies in small, half dollar size puddles of saliva spread out in eerily perfect distances that mimic a footstep. Yes. So when you realize you’ve stepped in something wet and instinctively yet simultaneously recoil and lunge to put your weight on the other foot, you find that foot landing in a puddle of feline gastric-juicy wetness of its own.

I should’ve known, really.

Just One Of Those Days

Hey, I know. I’m sure many people feeling ill or working themselves to the bone caring for the sick, or the people called upon to stock our grocery stores and deal with our cranky, often selfish, asses would love to have the luxury of my lamentations.

Alas, we all have our crosses to bear. I’m in the midst of sorting out feelings that I’ll almost inevitably share here sooner or later. But until I do, I’ll probably persist in making the mistake of hitting up the cache of peanuts I stockpiled for the blue jays and fish crows.

Case in point: Tonight I made the mistake of ‘catching up’ on the news I’d deliberately not followed all day (you know, as I was agitated enough by other stuff going on in my life). Aided by the anonymity and deniability provided by Karl being asleep on the couch, I surreptitiously retrieved a fresh bag of peanuts from our ‘pandemic stash,’ having refilled the peanut feeder before we took a walk this evening. I knew I shouldn’t break it open. I knew it.. Especially after the crappy day I’d had today.

But I did. I planted myself in front of the tv and binged, mindlessly cracking open the shells and plopping the contents into my mouth. The only bright spot is that I think I may have cured myself of my recent peanut addiction because now I feel as decidedly barfy as the cat must have this morning.

Oh brother. And speak of the devil. Right on cue, Tigger just heaved. I kid you not. Crouched underneath the dining room table strategically positioned such that he’s unreachable, I’m subjected to the universally distinct sound of a cat working something up and out. Good grief; what a day.

Time for bed. Some days are a lost cause. Hopefully, tomorrow will not only be a better day, but also a better post.