stories

Raw Truth – Day 1011

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Four of Swords – The Naked Heart Tarot* by Jillian C. Wilde

Raw Truth

It seems my post from last night struck a chord with many of you. As shocking as the image of that poor rat, impaled by ten swords as it was, the raw truth of its message feels undeniable. After all – it took ten swords to kill that rat, that persistent story, that frame through which we observe and judge ourselves, our family, our country, or maybe even the whole world. The time has come for us to ‘stick a fork’ in old paradigms that no longer work and which, maybe, stopped working a long time ago.

It’s hard to let go of cherished versions of the way things are. In fact, a lot of times we don’t even realize that what we believe or tell ourselves is so, isn’t (and maybe never was).

And we humans can be so amazingly stubborn. It doesn’t matter how many times we may be shown exactly how circumstances or relationships are not as we imagine them to be, we persist in seeing what we want to see rather than what’s actually there (or isn’t). Hence why we need all those swords to finally get the message across.

The Foundation

We’re being asked and, if we don’t comply, forced to reassess some pretty fundamental and core beliefs this year. I’ve been suggesting that this drastic disruption of our foundations is reflected in the planets, specifically how Saturn is squaring Uranus three times throughout 2021. As energies that influence us wax and wane, it’s easy to tell ourselves we’ve done the work being asked of us – only to discover, like the unexpected kick of a mule (not one of my precious donkeys!), that we were only telling ourselves we’d shed those beliefs. Turns out we do still believe the stories we’ve been telling ourselves all this time.

The longer we persist in playing this game with ourselves, the longer we avoid taking our place at the helm of our lives.

All of which brings me back to the card I chose last Saturday (The Hermit) and the card that supported and gave context and foundation to yesterday’s 10 of Swords: the 4 of Swords.

Time and Space

Now more than ever we need to give ourselves space to simply be with our own thoughts and feelings. It seems so simple, doesn’t it? And yet, at least for me, it is one of the hardest things to actually permit myself to experience. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to look at how some of the beliefs I’ve held all my life aren’t true. Or how some of the relationships I thought were rock solid turned out to be ephemeral.

The truth is, we all require a safe place where we can simply be; a place where we can look at what is no longer solid and decide to build new foundations elsewhere.

Don’t forget to give yourselves that safe place as we navigate these turbulent circumstances. Find that place of stillness. Don’t be afraid to look and see what’s really there. Then we won’t be nearly as surprised when (and if) the structures we though were there crumble before our eyes.

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(T-100)

What Don’t I Know – Day 836

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My Mother – 1939

What Don’t I Know

Perhaps it’s because my mother was 42 when she had me – and her mother was 42 when she had her. I don’t even know if I know how old my mother’s grandmother was when she had my grandmother; it’s been a while since I logged into my Ancestry account. But that highlights an ache I have deep down: what don’t I know about the people whose genes run through me? Who were they? What did they value most in life? Did they have talents or abilities that I might share if only I knew about them? How did they deal with conflict, adversity, and success?

One of my pre-pandemic secret pleasures was watching Finding Your Roots on PBS. The show, hosted by Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., traces the ancestral roots of at least two celebrities each episode. Sometimes the lineages of people you’d never think would have any relation to each other do, in fact, intersect. Almost always there’s something quite fascinating uncovered in either the tracing process or the DNA analysis that gives new perspective or insight into themselves to the person lucky enough to be a ‘guest’ on the show.

Full disclosure: there’s no reason I couldn’t watch it now. It just so happened that I would watch the show on the evenings that Karl would be traveling on business and staying somewhere overnight. He doesn’t seem to share my delight in the discoveries made about the lives of other people’s ancestors, and it’s rare I have the television clicker to myself nowadays. (Not that I’m complaining.)

An Amazing Story

I’m bringing this up because I read an astonishing story this morning in The Washington Post that I want to share with you. It’s the story not only of a woman of unfathomable determination and courage. Indeed, her story alone ended up warranting its own book. But even more moving to me is the fascinating reality that her own progeny had no idea how her story, her courage, her choices so profoundly impacted the generations that came after her.

This story captivated me.

The tale of Henrietta Wood’s progeny’s serendipitous discovery of her impressive story was equally delicious in its own way.

Why I Write

There are times when I’m writing in my journal about the mundane details of my life that I wonder if anyone will ever read my words someday and think, “My great grandmother was really strange. No wonder I am the way I am.” OK, maybe I think that when I’m writing about some of the more magical aspects of my life.

But still.

I’m sad that I don’t have the journals of my ancestors. I’d love to know how they thought about things and why they made the choices they did.

I wish I were a celebrity worthy of having my lineage traced by the myriad staffers on Finding Your Roots.

What don’t I know about those who came before me that might completely shift how I think about myself?

(T-275)

Witcher Watcher – Day 418

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Witcher Watcher

If you, like me, arrived in 2020 only to discover you simply cannot tolerate watching or listening to another moment of ‘news,’ I have a great distraction to recommend: The Witcher.

The Witcher is a Netflix ‘original series’ based on a ‘cycle of tales’ by Polish fantasy writer Andrzej Sapowski.

We watched the first episode a couple of nights ago, then caught episode two a day or so later. I thought I liked it, but I wasn’t completely convinced – until tonight.

Just What I Needed

It’s entirely possible that timing is playing at least a partial role in my enthusiasm for, and inclination to immerse myself in, this series. But more than anything, I think, is the nature of the main character, Geralt. His attitude toward both life in general and the situations he finds himself in is both detached and at the same time exemplifies honor and compassion.

Best of all, I’m pleasantly surprised by the sense of humor occasionally interjected by the characters. It’s an unexpected delight to encounter sarcasm and humor in the midst of all the drama. And yeah, it feels like just what I need.

It’s All Too Much

It’s interesting to observe the relief I feel in immersing myself in an entertaining story. And that’s honestly the most fundamental sense I feel. Relief. And it’s not even relief from the actual reality of what is going on in the larger world, although that is part of it. It’s relief from having to listen to the lies.

We could see this coming a mile away. And yet, here it is. It happened. Apparently with impunity – and quite probably with high fives and puffed chests – as threats, taunts, and tough talk continue issuing forth. Which only leads me to wonder how long it will be before other tactics are used to manifest chaos and distraction.

Stories Are Important

All of which makes me realize with even greater appreciation just how important it is for us to be able to lose ourselves in stories. We can’t hold onto or keep track of the cruelties and the lies being disseminated 24/7. It’s getting to a point where we have to actively pick and choose when to immerse ourselves in the stickiness of the web of deliberate deceit being woven day in and day out.

I know. For many of you, that decision has already been made, and made long ago. I see the wisdom in not paying attention. I guess I’m trying to find the balance – and I have a sick sense in the pit of my stomach that what’s going on now is just a prelude to what we can expect the whole damn year. And that depresses me.

So…long live the stories.

 

(T-693)