respect

Power of Intention – ND #3

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More than wishes – Photo: L. Weikel

Power of Intention

I think most of us are at least tangentially familiar with the concept of setting intentions in order to accomplish goals or manifest the reality we want to experience. If you’ve read a bunch of my posts, you know I tend to harp on the importance of setting intentions at particularly auspicious times of the month and year. And if you’re familiar with shamanic journeying, you know it’s important (essential in my opinion) to always have an intention before setting out to visit other realms. The power of intention has the capacity to yield astonishing results in our lives.

The truth of this was dramatically borne out in a movie we watched recently. King Richard is about Richard Williams, the father of tennis greats Venus and Serena Williams. Will Smith plays the girls’ father and it’s obvious why he there’s a lot of Oscar buzz around his performance.

Even if you’re not ‘into’ tennis, it’s unlikely you’ve never heard of Venus and Serena. Not only are they each phenomenal in their own right, the fact that they are sisters and they’ve both dominated the sport for years, is downright spectacular.

Having a Plan

Especially when Venus and Serena were just breaking onto the tennis scene, I remember reading or hearing about their father being ‘difficult.’ At least that’s how I remember it being spun. I remember wondering, vaguely, if he was one of those weird ‘stage fathers’ who browbeats their kids and makes life miserable for them all in the pursuit of dominance in the sport.

To be honest, I didn’t really care all that much one way or another. We only watched tennis matches when visiting my sister Jane on the 4th of July. Wimbledon was on the menu every single year, along with lobster and corn on the cob. But watching them play through the years – wow. It was obvious they were incredible athletes. And their behavior off-court was equally impressive. I don’t remember ever seeing them misbehave or act out like the John McEnroes of tennis.

Perhaps because my interest in their story was tangential at best, I had no idea how they came to be who they are. And believe me, their father was the man with the plan – he set the initial intention that created the opportunities his daughters capitalized on through hard work and sheer talent and intuition. (And not an insignificant amount of intention setting on their own part, too.)

Family

What I think I loved most about this movie – beyond the gobsmacking tenacity of the father and talent of the girls – was the way their whole family was so loving and supportive of each other. As trite as these qualities have become through overhyping in the media (often by those who don’t live them), love, respect, and integrity honestly seem to be core values of the Williams family.

And lest you think it was all ‘King Richard’ who made it happen, I beg to differ. No, this was most definitely a collaborative effort of both parents and the three older sisters, too.

It was amazing to watch how perilously close things came – at least a couple of times – to a totally different destiny playing out for the entire family. I have to wonder if at least some of the ‘luck’ was a function of the power of the intention set by Richard Williams himself (and which obviously ‘rubbed off’ on his girls).

King Richard is streaming on HBO Max right now. It looks like it’ll only be available on that venue for another seven or eight days. (I’m not sure how that works or why that’s the case.) If you want to be inspired by greatness and perhaps moved to hone your own power of intention, watch this movie.

(T+3)

Grim Discovery – Day 983

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Closeup of Northern Ring-necked Snake – Photo: L. Weikel

Grim Discovery

I made a grim discovery on our walk today. Sadly, the snake pictured above suffered an untimely demise. Given its injuries, even though it was discovered on the road, I have to wonder if it was shaken to death by a dog or perhaps even more likely snagged by the claws of a raptor and then dropped. If hit by a car, I suspect it would’ve been much more smooshed.

As it was, I was shocked to see its bright orange underbelly. Before this evening, I’d never seen a snake with this coloring. Its top was such a uniformly beautiful charcoal gray color, it reminded me of a seamless suit of armor.

It wasn’t until I picked it up to take it to the side of the road that I noticed the ring around its neck. It was so pretty and distinctive – this single ring of pale orange at the base of its head, blending with and complementing the definitively bolder tangerine of its underbelly.

I’d already taken a photo of the slight little serpent when I discovered it. I wanted to document its striking coloring. But then I took a few more snaps of its distinctive markings before curling it up in the grass on the berm of the road. I made an offering of a few strands of my hair as a gesture of respect for its life.

PA Herp Identification

Once again, the wonderful site known as Pennsylvania Herp Identification (or PA Herps for short) came to my aid in identifying this beautiful creature. It’s a Northern Ring-necked Snake. They’re apparently ubiquitous throughout Pennsylvania, but in all my 62 years, I’ve never seen one before tonight.

It’s funny – in looking at the photos of other Northern Ring-necks on the PA Herp site, I wasn’t at all surprised to see many photos of people gently holding the slender creatures in their hands. I was surprised to feel a similar inclination when I picked it up off the road. Yes, I know, it was already dead. But I felt a distinct sense of gentleness from it.

It was still very supple when I discovered it, too – which made me sad to realize it had probably died only minutes before we discovered it. Its sweet little face wasn’t the least bit scary or intimidating. I felt a real sense of loss.

Grim Discovery – Photo: L. Weikel

Snake’s Message

As I’ve written a bazillion times a simple and obvious intuitive interpretation of such a discovery might be that change is afoot. Snake often shows up when we’re being encouraged to undergo some type of transformation; perhaps a major opportunity to let go of who we’ve been (our outer identity or ‘skin’) and grow into a whole new iteration of ourselves.

Had this Northern Ring-necked Snake been a venomous serpent, I might have pondered whether I was supposed to transmute some poisonous thought, idea, attitude, or belief within or about myself or my circumstances. But that’s not what this felt like.

To be honest, until I started writing this post tonight I never even considered that it might be bringing me a message. (I know; hard to believe. But it’s true.) I was more focused upon simply identifying its beautiful self and sharing my discovery.

Full Moon On Friday

But now that I think about it, I’m willing to honor this creature’s life by interpreting its death, and my discovery of it, as a message to me in my own life. As we approach this full moon on Friday, it might serve me well to take a little time to contemplate what I want to shed in order to move forward in my life. The orange underbelly could be a hint that it has to do with creative endeavors. Perhaps the ring around its neck might represent something (a belief? an attitude?) that’s been keeping me captive. Not poisoned – just…limited. It’s possible.

While shedding is often a task undertaken as we approach a new moon, it feels right to consider what has reached its fullest expression in my life and can now be let go. We’re always in a state of flux; a state of beginning, becoming, or shedding.

It’s sad when any creature meets with an early or untimely demise. I hope on some level that treating this Being with respect and expressing gratitude for its appearance in my life somehow added to the balance of all things.

(T-128)

Kiffel Christmas – Day 775

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Partial Plate of Kiffels – Photo: L. Weikel

Kiffel Christmas

Yuletide 2020 will forever be remembered as Kiffel Christmas. I know, I know. I wrote about my intention to bake kiffels how many days ago? Eleven?

Well, I’m relieved to report that I’ve finally managed to get those babies baked. Today – of all days. And given the length of time it ended up taking me to roll out those little balls, fill them, and bake them, I realize the unconscious wisdom I exercised in saving the endeavor for a day when I basically had no other obligations.

In my defense, I rolled the dough into little balls and had them resting in the refrigerator, contemplating their destiny a good four days or so ago. It was finding the time and dedication to completing the task that took some juggling.

Of course, because I commandeered the oven for this long-slog of a task, we decided to wait a day to roast our yuletide turkey. I have to admit, I’m looking forward to our last wave of turkey sandwiches for the year. We only roast two turkeys a year: one for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas. Hence we only indulge in turkey sandwiches twice a year as well.

Eye Roll

I have to say, I’m rolling my eyes at the fact that I’ve obviously ceded access to my keyboard to my gastric senses. But they’re primal. I’m incredibly grateful for the roof over my head, the heat emanating from our fireplace, and the comfort in my tummy.

I guess I’m especially appreciative of our good fortune right now. I’m acutely aware of the blessing it is to be able to bake kiffels, roast a turkey, and contemplate having enough leftovers to feed ourselves for a week (and even share some, to boot).

My heart goes out to the millions of people who are facing staggering hardships right now. Sickness, hunger, sadness and fear – and perhaps worst of all, the dark jaws of hopelessness. There’s nothing I can say or do or write that will ease their burdens. And it almost feels obscene for me to engage in the banter I do.

Love and Gratitude

But all I know is that the overriding feelings I want to convey today are love and gratitude. Love for the people and opportunities that fill my life. Love for the efforts of so many in my world to make a difference in people’s lives. Love and appreciation for the smiles and kindness I see in the eyes and on the faces of so many, even though I know for a fact their hearts are heavy with burdens.

There’s so much goodness in the world.

We may be pushed in the next several days and weeks especially to buy into the proposition that we can’t trust anyone who doesn’t look like or think exactly the way we do. We may be exhorted to think the worst of everyone we encounter.

It’s in times like these that we need to focus on those smallest of blessing around us. A cookie baked by a neighbor. The warmth of our blankets and the softness of our socks. The kindness and respect shown by people we don’t even know when they stand more than six feet away from us and wear a mask – the twinkle of a smile still visible in their eyes – just because they care about you as much as they care about themselves.

We need to focus on the littlest things right now because they are, in truth, gigantic and life-affirming.

Be well, my friends. Sending you all a virtual kiffel and a hug.

(T-336)

Eve of Our Future – Day 722

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Rainbow Selfie – with Kamala at our backs – Photo: L. Weikel

Eve of Our Future

Well, we’re finally here. The time to stand up and be counted, to let ourselves and the world know where we’re headed, has arrived. We’re here. We’ve arrived at the eve of our future.

What will that future look like? I don’t need to tell you. We all know the consequences – some of them immediate – of the choices we’ll be making tomorrow.

We either repudiate what’s been done in our name over the past four years (regardless of how well our portfolios or 401(k)s may have done – that is, if we’re lucky enough to have either) or we don’t. We either show the world 2016 was an aberration, a ‘black swan event,’ or we don’t. We either take a stand against some of the most barbaric, egregious policies and behaviors of any government, much less our own – or we don’t. We either commit to being a global partner and leader in addressing climate change, or we make it worse.

I could go on.

Justice, Integrity, Truth, and Respect

These are the qualities on the ballot tomorrow. And while we yearn to have these values restored within the White House, I sense there’s an even deeper craving for these values to be declared far and wide – and modeled everywhere – as qualities inherent in the way Americans treat each other.

What do we have to lose if we don’t vote, or if vote to retain the current president? E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. He has declared his intentions. Are we listening? There are precious few who will benefit, while vast swaths of our country fall into abject misery.

Love, Compassion, and the Power of Diversity

I believe in us. I believe in our dignity and devotion to higher ideals than the value of the stock market or the country of our origin. I believe that deep down, all of us yearn to be treated with love and compassion. I believe in the wisdom of our forebears who succinctly espoused the greatest strength of our nation: e pluribus unum. “Out of many, one.”

Kamala Harris – Photo: L. Weikel

Rare Treat

As you’ve adroitly surmised from the accompanying photos, Karl and I were invited to an event today featuring vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris. Taking in the entire milieu as we waited for Representative Wild, Senator Casey, and others to arrive and speak, I will admit to feeling an overflow of emotion. Not wild abandon. Not screaming passion.; but a wellspring of hope and yearning for aspirational governance.

Speaker after speaker, from activists to representatives, spoke with conviction, yes. Each spoke with passion, a sense of commitment to change, and a demand for inclusion and diversity. But there was one thing not a single one of them brought to the table: cynicism.

Kamala Harris – 2 November 2020 – Photo: L. Weikel

Kamala Harris

I’ve paid attention to our politics. I knew from her resume and the interviews and debates I watched that Kamala Harris is a strong candidate. But there’s something extra you feel when you experience candidates up close and personal. It’s hard to define, but you feel their energy, perhaps a bit more of their essence.

And I couldn’t help but feel we were getting a chance to truly view the Eve of our future.

It’s time.

Photo: L. Weikel

(T-389)

Affection and Respect – Day 448

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Affection and Respect

Karl and I watched the Super Bowl tonight. Like a lot of people in our area, we were rooting for Kansas City.

One of my nephews lives in the KC area, so that would’ve been excuse enough. But actually, it was the fact that Andy Reid, the former Eagles’ Head Coach, is now the Head Coach of the Kansas City Chiefs that made us want to watch the game and root for the Chiefs.

Super Bowl Stuff

I have to say, the commercials this year were better this year than they’ve been for the past several Super Bowls. For quite a while, it’s seemed as though the commercials were just getting dumber and more obviously targeting the lowest common denominator. Overall, this year’s crop had the right mix of those that touched the heart strings – most with an appropriate balance and one or two that took the emotional appeal too far – and those that were amusing.

And the half time show was excellent. While I knew her name, I had no idea Shakira’s music sounded the way it does. (I know, I know. I shouldn’t be admitting this out loud.) And both she and J Lo were eye-poppingly astonishing in their athleticism and choreography – not to mention their voices.

The Main Event

Of course, the main event was the football game itself. And wow – these two teams did not disappoint. Competitively, this was hands down one of the most entertaining football games I’ve seen in a long time. Besides the amazing rally KC dug down and produced in the final six minutes or so of the 4thquarter, I think my favorite part of the game was in the 1stquarter (I believe), when Andy Reid made the call not once but twice to “go for it” on fourth down.

I can remember so many games in which the conservative, “cautious” tack was taken that demanded punting on fourth down. Ugh. So boring. This time, it felt, Andy and his team were here to win. They were going to lay it all out there, take the chances they needed to take, and believe in their ability to convert their plays successfully and get a first down.

While I realize this is ‘just’ a football game (albeit the literal ‘be all and end all’ to most fans), it was inspiring and exciting to see them take those risks – and even better, to succeed at their endeavors!

Perhaps my delight in watching KC take those risks was because that type of courage stands in stark relief against the utter cowardice we’ve been forced to witness in the Senate over the past two weeks. Didn’t it make you wonder even for just a fleeting second what it would feel like to witness our representatives standing up in unison to the bully in the pulpit (so to speak) and just saying, “NO!?” How would it feel to have the honor and integrity of our country defended by those who’ve actually taken an oath to do so?

Yeah, I wonder too.

The Reactions of So Many

The best part of the amazing comeback orchestrated by KC’s extraordinary quarterback (I can’t believe he’s only 24), Patrick Mahomes, and the rest of the team was the palpable affection and respect shown by absolutely everyone toward Head Coach Andy Reid. Even 49’ers fans, it seemed, couldn’t begrudge Andy the win.

From the announcers to the players to the fans both at the game and interviewed on the news later, everyone almost seemed to get a little teary-eyed over “what a great guy” Andy Reid is, how profoundly he deserves to finally have a team of his put it all together and achieve the highest honor in the sport.

Watching and listening to the love and admiration so many have for Andy Reid, with nary a snarky word or begrudging attitude offered, was like a balm to my heart. We’ve been forced to witness some really horrible stuff lately. We’ve been asked to condone behavior that has debased us and the principles and values upon which our country was founded – all perpetrated by those who are ostensibly ‘leaders.’

They are the furthest thing from actual leaders.

There is no question that whatever it is that Andy Reid brings to his teams and the people who work with him, it engenders love, affection, respect, and admiration.

Oh, to have those feelings spring forth for those who represent us to the world…

(T-663)

What Really Matters – Day 133

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Cabin Run; Photo: L.Weikel

Setting Precedent

I’m worried.

I think the worst thing about what’s unfolding before our eyes is our country’s adoption of an attitude of plain old not giving a shit.

We see it all over the place, and of course, the main sources are those who have the most stature and, sadly, are the most notorious in our culture.

The definition of notorious? – Adj., widely and unfavorably known. (Emphasis added)

It seems to me that we’re losing something huge when those to whom we accord great responsibility and respect act in ways that make it excruciatingly clear they don’t give a shit.

When the Notorious Set Precedent

When, for instance, they do not care whether they’re exposed as taking advantage of their stature to curry favor or monetary gain. Or are exposed as tax cheats. Or are exposed as flagrantly making money on stock trades made moment before passage of legislation they took part in crafting and passing. Or are shown over and over and over again to simply lie for the sake of lying (or seeing what they can get away with.) And I’m only scratching the surface.

We are slapped in the face, day in and day out, with examples of people gaming the system, or simply flipping the table on it, in big ways and small. Cheating is exposed every day. We are drowning in corruption. And the prevailing attitude? Who gives a shit? And ultimately, “Then I might as well get mine.”

Yes, I’ll admit it: I’m old school. I’ve been a follower of rules for most of my life. A ‘good girl,’ if you will. I basically respect law and order, and I place great respect in the founding documents of our country and the laws, rules, and regulations passed by our legislative bodies.

Society Functions Best With One Set of Basic Values and Rules

I’d say my perspective is primarily that society functions best when we share a basic respect for the fundamentals. When we feel that the rules (laws) exist to make life run smoothly and efficiently. That stoplights are at intersections for a reason. That society deems certain actions to be crimes because they harm the rest of us (whether it be one of us, as in an assault, or all of us, as in dumping toxic waste into streams in the dead of night).

My issue with the way our country seems to be headed right now (more so than at any other time since the early 20thcentury and the reign of the robber barons) is that there seem to be two sets of rules. The rules for most of us, and the rules for the rich and powerful.

And that’s where things really get dicey. Because as more and more people see that nothing really matters, nobody gives a shit, or rules are made for suckers, a precedent is set. As more people witness all the little cuts to our country’s moral and ethical and decent body day after day, the more likely it is they’ll decide they don’t need to be decent, follow the rules, or obey the laws, either. And that’s when anarchy sets in.

No Lack of Enforcers

Oh yeah, we can take solace in the fact that there will always be police (probably more and more) and other ‘enforcers’ to go after those who do not have the money or power to fight for their innocence. Yippie. We’ve seen enough of that skewed justice lately to make us all lose faith in our system. And when more and more people stop giving a shit? There won’t be enough police or enforcers to take care of all that’s going to go down.

Just taking a walk today (picking up two grocery bags’ worth of garbage along the way, thank you everyone for coming out to enjoy High Rocks State Park – we love to pick up your fast food wrappers, cigarette butts, empty soda cans and beer bottles – so nice of you to come out to the country to enjoy Mother Nature and then effectively take a dump out your car window), we witnessed lots and lots of people just doing whatever they want. This vehicle, for instance:

Seriously. This was only one of many vehicles illegally parked directly, flagrantly, underneath signs that state in big bold letters: NO PARKING ANY TIME. (There was yet another identical sign posted right in front of the truck.) The main reason for the prohibition of parking on this single lane dirt road is because people fall at High Rocks. Often. Accidents happen. Emergency vehicles need to be able to get through, to get near enough to rescue people.

Why Should Anyone Follow the Rules?

But hey. Who cares? Who cares if something happens while you’re deep in the woods and no one can get around your truck? Nobody gives a shit. Rules are made for suckers. It’s ok. Steal a movie off the internet. Cop a feel at a bar. Go to a sex club where 13 year old girls are passed around. Everybody does it. (At least, the rich and powerful do it.)  It’s OK. You won’t pay a price. In fact, it will get swept under the rug. Nothing matters.

These are the lessons and attitudes flooding our collective consciousness every day. I fear we’re becoming numb to it. To the outrageous and blatant disregard for basic decency, fair play, and respect for others.

We Need to Be the Ones Who Care

Yes. I am worried. The examples being set are impacting all of us – but especially our youth.

And yet, in spite of it all, I refuse to believe that integrity and honor are dead. I refuse to believe that doing the right thing when no one is looking is stupid. Or for suckers. Or a lost, outmoded way of being in the world.

Integrity matters. Honor matters. Caring and respect and right actions matter.

We matter. We need to stand for what we know is right. We need to give a shit.

(T-978)

Disappearing – Day Sixty Two

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Disappearing

Over the past several days I’ve had a recurring experience, albeit in different areas of my life and involving completely different people and encounters.

But I was struck today by the thread between all of these situations and I didn’t like the feeling.

Of course, it could just be unique circumstances adding up to me feeling that there’s a pattern here. Or, I really am disappearing.

It’s not only been creepy. It’s been infuriating.

A Pattern in Our Society

And yeah, I’ve read articles about how women who reach age 50 or so tend to just start blending into the wallpaper of other people’s awareness. Most of those articles seem to emphasize invisibility in the context of men and being noticed by or considered attractive to men. And while I’m not making it my life’s mission to actively become a hag, I’d also say I’m assiduously not into primping. Never was. Never will be. And lucky for me, I guess, Karl knows that too.

But there is evidence that the invisibility arises within other contexts as well. Contexts in which it’s patently stupid and an obvious loss to both society in general and in whatever industry or profession women work throughout their lives. Everyone loses when women are rendered irrelevant and unseen, muted and ignored, simply because they’re no longer of child bearing age.

And I have to say, I never thought I’d experience this attitude being directed toward me. I guess I thought I was immune because I’ve never cared one way or another about ‘looks,’ beyond, you know, basic personal hygiene and wearing eclectic clothes.

And then there’s the hair

And I haven’t changed in that regard. I’ve also not given one shit about going gray. Indeed, I love my gray hair – and the thought of putting poison on my head and letting it seep into my scalp, so close to my precious gray matter, makes me recoil in organic horror.  (Why would I go out of my way to avoid ingesting gmos, pesticides, and other stuff that’s bad for you and then deliberately let poison soak into my scalp?) Because I’m afraid to be my natural self?

Dumb. (For me.)

Yes, I’ve watched people close to me feel compelled to color their hair by the realities of our obnoxiously youth-worshipping society. You know – so they won’t become invisible. Because ‘old’ equates, for women, to ‘invisible.’ And I understand their fear in the corporate or professional world, but it makes me wonder: how do we change that culture if we continue to acquiesce to it?

Which is another reason why I refuse to do it.

But all of this is superficial. All of this is yackety yack about the packaging, and making the product (me – or us) look like something it is not.

Why? The Perennial Question

And I guess that’s what has always been at the foundation of my refusal to consider that I might actually be disappearing. I’m only starting to hit my stride! And my confidence in myself and in what I ‘do’ has been earned. By years of doing. Of experiencing. Of enduring.

Why the hell should I feel compelled to gussy myself up like some 30 year old when I’ve been there already? I’ve raised three kids (with Karl), headed my own law office, worked for a major feminist legal advocacy organization, made dinner every night, and managed to get to most soccer games, musicals, plays, and track meets. Doing all that wore me the hell out.

And I know, I know, it’s a tired old trope, but damn – men (who have not in the main had to ‘do it all’ in order to think they were bad-ass, but only had to ‘do their job’) can become gray and a little thicker around the waist and they are considered distinguished. Not me. Not us. If we don’t color our hair and Goddess-forbid do even more heinous things to our bodies, we become dismissible. We’ve ‘let ourselves go.’ We need to look in the mirror.

The Crux of This Post

Up to now, this post is not addressing what I initially set out to write about. Because what I experienced this week was an invisibility of a different kind.

It may have been related to how I look. But I don’t think that was it.

It was simple disrespect. It was being blown off. Why? I have no idea.

Not only did I feel like I was becoming invisible this week, but I also felt like I was standing behind a glass (soundproof) wall. People may have seen my mouth moving, but they sure as hell weren’t listening. Even when I repeated myself, over and over. Gently at first, thinking they perhaps hadn’t heard me. Then more forcefully because, damn it, I meant what I said the first time, but having to repeat it sixteen times made me a little cranky. Like – stop poking me.

And what I was saying might have been important. It just may have had some validity or at least been worthy of consideration. Otherwise, I wouldn’t spend my time saying it. Time and a lot of hard-earned experience (a lot of which has turned my hair gray, I might add), are pretty much all I have to give.

I’m not saying everything I say is correct, necessarily, nor a pearl of wisdom. Whether it was my opinion on where to stop or what to eat, or a question with a bit more heft.

If you ask me something, then at least respond as though it has registered.

You know – so I don’t feel as though I should pantomime my response or act it out in interpretive dance.

Otherwise? I realize I’m disappearing.

And I may or may not go gently into the night.

(T-1049)