racism

Mockery – ND #105

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Twisting the Process and Making a Mockery – Photo: L. Weikel

Mockery

I’m trying really hard to stay away from commenting on the confirmation hearings for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. The mockery that’s being made of this process, our judiciary, our Senate, and our country as a whole is at once infuriating and devastatingly sad. It’s also just plain wrong.

It is maddening to witness the histrionics and pearl clutching these Republican Senators are engaging in, when the entire time, they are brazenly accusing Democrats of doing precisely what Republicans did. Over and over again, too. While their whataboutisms are astoundingly off-base and hypocritical, they engage in them nevertheless.

It’s exhausting.

They Count On That

And the depressing thing is, they count on regular people becoming exhausted by their endless switching things around, denying things, and harping on snippets of information they very cynically mischaracterize and then propagandize until the cows come home.

Is this any way to run a country? Is this any way to rule the world? (Apparently some think it is: the Putins, Xes, Trumps, and Kim Jong Uns of the world, to name a few.) It’s not the way our country is supposed to operate, but when civility and the ability to agree upon fundamental tenets of reality and facts disappear, we end up with performative government. And that’s where we are today.

It’s never a good sign when I yell at the tv. And, to be fair, I engage in that extreme behavior far less often than I used to, when we were subjected to TFG’s relentless lying on a regular basis (i.e., whenever we turned the tv on and news came on). But it’s extremely difficult to refrain from berating the garbage being broadcast when I see white men with pedigreed educations acting as if they can’t read or have lost all ability to hold a reasonable thought in their heads. Or whining and grandstanding about how other candidates were treated. (Less qualified and credibly accused of awful behavior that should have been investigated, too.)

As if any of that has an iota of relevance to, or can be opined on, by the current nominee.  And Marsha Blackburn trying to ‘trap’ the judge by asking her to define ‘woman.’ Good grief. I just can’t.

Performative Ignorance

It enrages me to hear Ted Cruz or anyone else bring up Critical Race Theory and act as if they don’t understand what it is or that it is taught in graduate school (not grade or high school). And even if it were taught in high school, for instance, it is telling the truth about racism in our country. And it describes how racism has been perpetuated and built into the fabric of our country to such an extent that we don’t even realize its profound implications or insidious effects.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I do not know how Black women (especially) maintain such an overall calm and patience with the state of life in the United States. Their husbands and sons are at risk when they walk out the door. Hell – let’s face it. Black people and people of color aren’t safe in their own houses. And yes, I know they’re not monolithic. But it’s also true that there is a ton of shared trauma and outrage amongst them.

How do they abide this, day in and day out?

And now, to watch the utterly disgusting double standard being heaped upon this Supreme Court nominee simply because she is a black woman?

I’m ashamed of the level to which our country has sunk. I would pity the obvious insecurities of Republican party members if I weren’t so incensed that they’ve sold our country out on so many levels.

Oops

I guess the rant escaped anyway.

Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson needs to be confirmed. She deserves a unanimous consent. Anyone voting against this eminently qualified individual is afraid she will treat them the way she has been treated. Luckily for them, she has integrity.

We need to pay attention. The fringe is getting perilously close to seizing the reins of power.

(T+105)

Keeping It Together – Day 570

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Spunky Girl Setting the Pace – Photo: L. Weikel

Keeping It Together

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m finding the task of ‘keeping it together’ exhausting.

And the weird thing is, it’s not as if I can feel my energy and resilience being drained in any given moment. No. Instead of creating a bodily tiredness that stems from sustained, productive physical effort, such as mowing a lawn or digging a garden, this exhaustion is mental, emotional, and energetic.

As a result, the profound weariness – at least as I’m experiencing it – sneaks up on me when I least expect it. It’s as if one moment I’m chugging along just fine and the next moment I’m struggling to take one more step up the steep hill we encounter every day during our walk.

Looking to Sheila

“What in the world’s the matter with me?” I wonder out loud. The expression on Karl’s face tells me he’s feeling it as well. We look to Sheila, ever the faithful hound, to save us. She happily (if obliviously) obliges, standing in the middle of the road halfway up the hill to take a breather. We kid ourselves that we’re stopping for Sheila, but we both know it’s as much for us as it is for her.

At the crest of the hill, the land flattens out and we’re greeted to the familiar expanse of the meadows where we often encounter the somewhat aloof horse that resides there. Sheila wastes no time picking up the pace that’s impressive, frankly. We wonder where she gets her energy and spunk at 15 years and 9 months. Yikes. Do the math.

It’s Everything, Of Course

Keeping it together in the midst of a global pandemic that some believe is a ‘hoax’ and thus refuse to inconvenience themselves enough to even wear a mask that might protect both us and them is a stress. Add to that the horror of watching our country cry out in pain only to be met by the angry fist of a petty, insecure tyrant. And then, lurking at the back of all of our minds is the question of whether the coronavirus is spreading like wildfire as thousands upon thousands of us march and gather in protest to the corrosive effects of systemic racism and abuse of power.

Efforts are made to practice social distancing and the vast majority wear masks…but still. The crowds are massive in some cities. The risk is huge. The price of demanding justice may become stunningly dear.

Yeah, it’s exhausting. But this is when we need to tap into our reserves. We need to drop into our core and remember what we treasure most in life. We need to find our own unique, spiritual center of calm resolve and strength. What color is it? What does it look like? Is it a place? A feeling? A knowing?

Hmm. Good questions for pondering in these volatile times.

I might be exhausted now, but I’m going to permit myself to sleep. Rest up. You should, too. We’re going to need our wits about us in the days ahead.

Sheila setting a good example – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-541)

Risk – Day 565

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Severe Storms Ahead – Photo: L. Weikel

Risk

Watching reports of the protests occurring nationwide in response to the reprehensible acts (or failure to act) of the four Minneapolis Police Department officers that resulted in the death of George Floyd is upsetting enough. But when you stop for a second and realize these protests and marches are taking place in the midst of a global pandemic, in the midst of a virtual plague, the fact that so many thousands of people are willing to put their lives at risk to demand justice speaks louder than any words they could chant.

A couple times today I heard or read someone express surprise that people are in fact gathering in these huge crowds, considering the considerable risk of spreading the coronavirus – particularly given that black and brown people seem to be harder hit, proportionately, than the rest of the population.*

But doesn’t their very willingness to risk exposure to the virus show how desperately our country needs profound systemic reformation – immediately?

What Trumps Who

If we’re honest with ourselves, black and brown lives are at risk no matter what. Sure, if they catch Covid-19, they’re at greater risk of being hospitalized and dying from it. But as things stand now, they’re at risk of being hospitalized or dying simply from being what they are. And yes, I’m consciously saying ‘what’ they are as opposed to ‘who’ they are.

For who they are doesn’t matter in the least. It’s all in the color of their skin, baby. That’s all that matters to far too many people who have access to instruments of power and lethal force, be they cell phones to call 9-1-1 on a ‘black man’ daring to call her out for breaking the rules to guns or choke holds or knees to the neck.

As we’ve nauseatingly seen time and again, people of color are not allowed to be in our country. They’re not permitted to play, or to jog, or to watch birds in the park. They’re not allowed to sleep in their own beds without being subject to lethal force when idiot police try to execute a no-knock search warrant in the middle of the night on the wrong apartment.

Mother Rage

As a mother myself, I cannot imagine the rage and fear experienced by mothers of children of color. And yet my sense that I would not be able to contain my outrage and terror is an indicator of my privilege. Why? Because my sense of justice burns hot for my babies. And yet mothers of black or brown children dare not risk expressing the rage I, as a white person, cannot imagine not expressing.

How do they live with that inexpressible terror and rage, simmering deep within? Any of us who contemplate such ongoing hell know – they can’t breathe. We can’t breathe.

There’s a plague hitting our country all right. While it exists all over the world, it is deep and ugly and pervasive all over the United States, but especially in places of power. And it’s time we  stood up, link our arms, and say in one voice, “NO MORE.”

We’re all brothers and sisters no matter the pigment of our skin. We bleed. We love. We grieve. We breathe.

We must actively take a stand. We must demand systemic reform. We must demand that this scourge be condemned and actively eradicated by those holding positions of power. Now. No more waiting. And if they won’t do it?

Vote. Them. Out.

And if that’s snatched away from us?

Cletus Contemplating the Impending Chaos – Photo: L. Weikel

 

*To be fair, the footage I’ve seen shows the vast majority of protesters wearing masks – and in many places, actually marching and assembling while maintaining some semblance of social distancing, which is no mean feat. This shows respect and reverence for life – theirs and those around them, as well as those with whom they live – which, I suspect is precisely why they’re willing to risk it all.

(T-546)

We Can’t Breathe – Day 563

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 2 Comments
Photo: L. Weikel

We Can’t Breathe

This will not be a long post.

I spent the better part of this evening celebrating something wonderful – the third anniversary of my middle son’s marriage to my daughter-in-law Tiffany. We love each other. We maintained safe distance between us and they did not even come into our home. Rather, we sat outside enjoying the smell of freshly cut grass, the flicker of lots of candles on the porch, and the ribets of what must be massive bullfrogs in the pond behind our barn.

We used to be able to see each other often – once a week, if we were lucky. Tonight was only the second time in three months that all four of us were within twelve feet of each other at the same time.

A Realization

But while I was lucky enough to be able to celebrate this anniversary with my family, so many other people are suffering unimaginable and utterly senseless loss. And the thought of what those other people are feeling and experiencing takes my breath away.

I do not say this lightly.  For days and days following my son Karl’s death in 2011, I would find myself feeling as though there was a huge invisible weight on my chest. I’d never felt anything like it – even after my own parents had died. This grief was different.

As I may have written last night, when I watched the video of the incident in Central Park and then saw the still photos (and read the description) of what happened to George Floyd, I started feeling that weight in my chest again. It is as if the world is so heavy and so unimaginably cruel that it’s impossible to take another breath.

The Microcosm and the Macrocosm

After our celebration this evening, I came inside and watched some reporting on MSNBC. I watched the interview by Lawrence O’Donnell of George Floyd’s sister, Bridget Floyd. And I felt that weight again. I saw her shirt with her brother’s last words, “I can’t breathe.”

I remembered the words of the man in NYC, Eric Garner, who also said, “I can’t breathe,” and was killed by NYC police officers.

They are the microcosm. The macrocosm, I realized tonight, is the coronavirus, the root of Covid-19. How do I arrive at that? What are all of the people dying from Covid-19 feeling before they die? “I can’t breathe.” What do they say when they arrive in the emergency departments of hospitals all over the world? “I can’t breathe.” What is the state they are in when they’re put on ventilators? They can’t breathe.

Our world – but in particular our country – can no longer breathe. We are choking on our own injustice, inhumanity, greed, systemic racism, and simple cruelty.

Yes, it hit me tonight. There’s a theme to all of the suffering we’re seeing play out around us and within our homes, families, communities, and countries. We can’t breathe with the continued injustice we’re witnessing and experiencing.

We can’t breathe with the overwhelming cruelty we’re witnessing day in and day out, perpetrated by our supposed leaders and elected representatives. We can’t breathe if their actions truly reflect our hearts. Because there’s no way anyone can breathe and endure this awful, unbelievable, grief.

We must find a way to heal this. I know we can. But first, we must each take a deep breath ourselves. Feel that life force enter our bodies and ask how we can help others breathe, too.

(T-548)

Creature Feelings – Day 267

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Lurking Under the Leaves – Photo: L. Weikel

Creature Feelings 

I have so many thoughts and feeling coursing through me.

On the one hand, I feel tremendous despair over the state of our country at the moment – actually, the state of our world at the moment. The fear. The hatred of the ‘other.’ I despair that so many feel such profound helplessness – and the rage over feeling helpless – in a country of purported opportunity. I am sickened by the blame being deliberately stoked by those who hold the greatest power – and privilege.

On the other hand, I sense a sea change. I know, I know: it’s been thought before, especially when innocents, little kids, were slaughtered at Sandy Hook. Or when high schoolers were mowed down in Parkland and their surviving classmates passionately and eloquently demanded change.

Something Feels Different This Time

But this time, perhaps because the racism in the White House, as it’s being leveled against duly elected Congressional Representatives and so blatantly being trumpeted against entire American cities and their inhabitants, is so obvious that the hearts of so many of us are saying, “Enough.”

I don’t know what feels different this time, but something does.

Needed to be shed (Cicada shell covered in mud) – Photo: L. Weikel

The insanity has reached a tipping point. The old ways simply must be shed.

Good people – who I truly believe are the vast majority of our country – are waking up to the horror and banding together. We are beginning to realize that it really does start with each and every one of us taking stock of our truth, taking stock of our lives and saying, “If I don’t call it out, who will?”

If I Don’t Call It Out, Who Will?

All viewpoints do not demand nor deserve equal time. All arguments do not demand nor deserve to be accorded respect. Vapid talking points need to be treated as such. Idiotic assertions need to be dismissed for their utter lack of merit. Immoral, hateful rhetoric needs to be deemed utterly unacceptable. Cruelty needs to be shut down.

And we don’t need to use cruelty to fight cruelty, either. But we do need to stand firm. We need to stop attempting to persuade when there is an utter lack of shared facts, when there is a refusal to acknowledge even the most basic tenets of a shared reality.

 

We can be kind; but we must say no. And we must disarm the desperate.

Closed in fear? – Photo: L. Weikel

We Know the Facts

There is incontrovertible evidence that weapons of war – automatic and semi-automatic guns with high capacity magazines – mow people down. The only use these weapons have is hunting humans.

We must stop pandering to those who would argue that the sun revolves around the Earth – and would cite a conspiracy theory to make their case that it is so. For they are shameless. They will argue anything to confuse, to obfuscate, to claim victimhood. They are the same people who argue that “guns do not kill” (as if anyone is saying that guns shoot themselves) in order to thwart any meaningful regulation. It’s specious and astoundingly tone deaf, and blind, and disrespectful to all those who’ve suffered loss as a result of these insane attacks.

Gradually opening up – Photo: L. Weikel

We Must Take Our Cue From the Caterpillars

It’s time for us to take our cue from the caterpillars. We need to utterly and completely transform. We must go within, engage in collective self-reflection, and transform. We need to realize our systemic racism, the lies we’ve been telling ourselves as a society since our nation was first formed.

And we need to have the courage to just face it. We must acknowledge the depth of our shame in treating other human beings as ‘less than.’ And that starts with admitting the systemic obliteration of the people who lived on this land for thousands of years before Europeans even arrived or Africans were forced to relocate to these shores.

NO ONE wants to be exploited. NO ONE wants to be judged by superficial standards (the color of our eyes, the shade of our skin, the accent of our first language). NO ONE (except for perhaps the most damaged among us) wants to succeed simply to screw someone else over.

We must drop the fear. We must drop the rage. We absolutely must LEARN TO LISTEN to the feelings of others – and cultivate compassion and empathy for ourselves and each other.

We can do this. The vast majority of us already know this is possible in our hearts.

If we don’t say it, who will?

Let us transform.

Photo: L. Weikel

(T-844)

I Just Can’t  – Day 246

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Tonight’s sky – Photo: L. Weikel

I Just Can’t                                      

I woke up this morning and was feeling remarkably ‘down.’ This feeling was as pervasive as it was unexpected. There was no obvious reason for it, either – dietary or otherwise.

But then, the day unfolded, and I made the mistake of reading news headlines.

I have to admit it: My stomach has been hurting all day. I’ve felt a little short of breath all day.

Honestly, I feel as though there is nowhere to look anymore that is not shocking, awful, and hateful. The blatant racism, misogyny, corruption, and deliberate attack on the rule of law being spewed and inflicted on our country is beyond the pale.

My heart hurts for our country. My heart hurts for our integrity. My heart hurts for our children – yours, mine, and everyone else’s.

My heart hurts for the soul of us all – and by that, I mean everything we stand for, believe in, and hold sacred.

If we don’t take a stand now, when everywhere we look we’re slapped in the face with vile divisiveness, cruelty, and utter corruption and self-dealing, we never will.

So Many Secrets/So Many Compromised People in Power

It broke my heart to read that so-called leaders of the Republican party such as Lindsey Graham were actually condoning Trump’s hate-filled racist rants of yesterday and today. His comments do not reflect simple policy-related differences of opinion with my own views. His comments reflect a fundamental abrogation of everything I was taught our country stands for.

Yes, I’m calling Graham out. Why? Because Donald Trump may be the biggest liar to ever cross the doorstep of the White House (and yes, I am saying with absolute lack of equivocation that he is the single biggest serial liar to ever cross the threshold of the White House), but we knew he was an ignorant con-man for decades. We knew it when he declared he was running. We’ve known it all along. All we had to do was read the background. All we had to do was open our eyes and read.

But Lindsey Graham? I remember a time when he appeared to be a man of principle. A man who had courage and integrity. So I have to say…this behavior of his, including his kowtowing to Trump since the inauguration, tells me there’s something about Lindsey Graham we don’t know. I think we have yet another example of a puppet whose strings are being pulled by a power that has the dirt.

The case that’s unfolding with Jeffrey Epstein is horrific. But you know what? I read about it at the very beginning of Trump’s candidacy. I was aware of the young girl who dropped her case because of death threats. I was aware of Alex Acosta. This has all been readily available. It is not ‘fake’ news. It is entirely documented.

This Is All About Power OVER

And it is all related. The utterly malignant foundation of so much of what goes on in our country is tied to and inextricably bound up in rampant, unabashed, unchecked, abuse of power. Power over women, power over young girls, power over little boys, power over the homeless, power over the defenseless, power over the poor, power over the black and brown in our country (and outside – you know, entire ‘shithole’ countries).

This has gone on for so long, they laugh and clink their glasses behind their billion dollar enclaves and think they’ll rule the world forever. But they’ve become sloppy, which comes from feeling they can live their exploitive, debauched existences out in the open, simply because they hold so much power.

Well, we’re the ones who have the power. We’re the ones who must look each other and ourselves in the eyes and act in a way that serves something greater.

I believe in us. But really, we must, must, must look at the raw truth of what is unfolding before our very eyes. And we must do it NOW.

Let us stand together and say “ENOUGH.”

The sun is setting on all we hold dear – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-865)