letting go

Letting Go – Day 427

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The Naked Heart Tarot by Jillian C. Wilde – Photo: L. Weikel

Letting Go

Last Monday, Karl and I went on our walkabout (the four miler) and picked cards from a deck I’ve been working with for just over a year: Jillian C. Wilde’s The Naked Heart Tarot*. I love this deck for many reasons, from the imagery to the turns of phrase, perspectives, and interpretations offered by the author.

My intention when shuffling the cards and putting my breath into them was to ask for additional guidance or assistance in fleshing out, if you will, the Medicine Cards I’d chosen on January 1st, which set the tone for my year, which I’ve yet to write about. (I’ll share that within the next few days.)

My pick was pretty intense: Judgment (XX) on top with The Tower (XVI) underneath.

As we walked and I was reading out loud the author’s take on these cards, I felt a prickle of wariness flutter up my spine. There was a clear, interconnected theme to these two cards, that was unmistakable. Yet I didn’t – couldn’t – see where this would play out in my life. Knowing that astrologically, last week, we were approaching the full moon and eclipse in Cancer, with additional rock-the-boat-powerful aspects arriving today (January 12, 2020), I uneasily accepted that the impact of these cards could come from any direction.

The Messages

The top card I chose was Judgment (XX).

Instead of paraphrasing, I’m just going to quote directly from the “LWB” (Little White Book) – meaning the book that accompanies the deck. (In this case, however, it is black and not as little as one might expect). I’ve discovered that authors of card decks usually received insight directly from the card archetypes as they’re creating them. And while a reader’s intuitive interpretation of cards is essential and should always be heeded, it’s often helpful to take into account the deck’s creator’s hits as well.

The Naked Heart Tarot – Photo: L. Weikel

Judgment (XX) – A New Awakening

“The butterfly broadens its wings expanding into a new level of consciousness where it has awakened with eyes wide open. The butterfly flies upwards; one step closer to spiritual attainment, releasing the ghosts of butterfly’s past behind, as it rises to new heights.

The Message: The Judgment card represents forgiveness, letting go of past mistakes, and things that haunt you. Butterfly energy encourages transformation through acknowledgment and transition. It is about having the courage and facing the demons that you bury in the shadows and recesses of your psyche. When you willingly choose to conceal the secrets of your past and shameful moments in your life, it causes metaphorical scar tissue to grown on your soul, making it harder to heal and release old wounds.

This card is asking you to bring forth these ghosts and address them so you can move forward with freedom from the past. Accepting the things you can change and legging go of what you cannot control. Forgiveness is the act of knowing things could not have been any other way.

This card represents significant transformation and rebirth of spirit. When you step outside your past and enter the present with newfound clarity, healed wounds, and a new awareness, the world takes on a new perspective. It is lighter, different, anew.

Additional Meaning: Transformation, release, letting go, rewards for past efforts, clarity, rebirth, resurrection, judgment, forgiveness, new purpose.”

The card underneath, which I interpret as ‘fleshing out’ or adding context to the card on top, was:

The Naked Heart Tarot – Photo: L. Weikel

The Tower (XVI) – Sudden and Unexpected Shift in Energy

“Lightning suddenly strikes the tree, setting it ablaze. It causes burning pieces to fly off, creating a ripple effect setting the surrounding area on fire and then it is washed out by the devastation of a flood. The abundance of fire and water are out of control removing everything from their path creating a clean slate for new beautiful growth.

The Message: The Tower represents a time when all that you know and recognize now becomes unrecognizable. As fast as the lightning strikes the tree, you will be hit with an immediate awakening of truth. You may feel out of your comfort zone and are left with a raw and vulnerable sense of unknowingness. Nothing feels like it makes sense and all may feel lost. Your beliefs may be called into question, as there is a sudden shift in perspective, and energy.

The Tower may be a sign that the Universe is taking action for you towards something you have been unable, or unwilling to see or admit. You may have been hanging on to something for too long, and going against your better judgment or choosing to not see a situation or yourself through the eyes of truth. The upheaval of The Tower will provide you with the necessary growth and expansion you need to move forward aligned with your higher calling. It is an opportunity to release old familiar structures, release and heal wounds, and rebuild a tower of strength within yourself; relying firmly on a new found awareness. It may seem fearful or confusing when you are in the thick of the emotional turmoil. However, as time passes and wounds heal, you will have a better understanding of why things happened. You may even feel grateful that they did.

Additional Meaning: Sudden change, upheaval, shocking truth, breaking apart, emotional outburst, turmoil, destruction, new beliefs, new growth.”

Upshot

In astonishing and truly lightning bolt (Uranian) fashion, I believe this did, indeed, play out in my life over the past few days. To be honest, I’m still reeling. But I’m dedicated to practicing what I preach and thus intend to deeply reflect not only on the events and revelations of the past few days, but also my feelings, my understandings, and ideally, my ability to find forgiveness. It may be an intense week.

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(T-684)

Dramatic Change (of Season) – Day 354

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Balmy Morning – Photo: L. Weikel

Dramatic Change (of Season)    

Yes, I’ve been writing lately about the intensity of the times we’re living in.

Tonight is/was Samhain, when the veils between the worlds are the thinnest.

When I woke up this morning, I sat outside and wrote in my journal, a light drizzle misting the leaves of the trees holding vigil before me. I was in my bare feet, the temperature hovering in the high 60s. The morning was the epitome of ‘balmy.’

After the session I had today, which encompassed deep, profound shifts and major embodiment of the concept of ‘letting go,’ my client and I walked out of the room we were in and were greeted by temperatures that had plummeted and snow blowing sideways.

Ah yes.

Letting go.

It can be astonishingly dramatic.

Dying to the old. Birthing the new.

Amazing. Change of Season.

Samhain snow – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-757)

A Time of Letting Go – Day 353

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A Time of Letting Go

I mentioned yesterday that we’re entering another period of intensity. Part of that has to do with the fact that the sun has moved into Scorpio, which traditionally is associated with death and regeneration. And because we’re human, most of us tighten up over the mere mention of death, so we barely even pay attention to the ‘regeneration’ aspect of Scorpio.

We just get freaked out over the prospect of death.

Not Just the Sun

Reading this you may think to yourself, yeah, but we go through Scorpio every year. Big deal. Why do things feel especially tense and fraught right now?

And I would answer that it’s a function of other aspects that are occurring right now as well. Some of these aspects are other planets dancing (or sparring) with each other in specific signs that result in making it feel as though they’re piling on and making everything worse.

I’ve just spent a bunch of time just now trying to synopsize my understanding of what’s going on astrologically, and I feel like all I’ve been doing is deleting.

Let the Experts Speak

So instead of trying to distill what I’ve read, I’m going to share a couple of links to astrologers I’ve linked to before. Kaypacha is a video you watch, while Chani writes a great analysis. The third link I’m sharing is to Evolving Door, which I believe I discovered through a friend, and found it to be an interesting analysis.

Let’s face it: There’s no denying that most, if not all, of us are experiencing the intensity I mentioned in yesterday’s post. We’re seeing it outside of us and we’re feeling it within ourselves. And the more information we can gather that helps us navigate these turbulent times the better.

Go Deep

With Mercury going retrograde tomorrow for three weeks, I feel it really just underscores the need for all of us to really dig deep and, as Kaypacha says, figure out who we want to be and what we truly want to create in our lives – and let go of that which no longer serves us.

It feels like we’re all being called upon to look deeply within and exercise radical honesty with ourselves.

Talk about a death. It sounds to me like we’re being called to face the death of bullshitting ourselves. What no longer works? What hasn’t been working for a long, long time, but we’ve refused to acknowledge and act on that truth? What have we been telling ourselves we just can’t stop feeling or doing or believing because we’ll die to our own illusions of who we are?

The Cool Thing

What we need to remember is that regeneration will occur. We can and will create a new reality for ourselves if we finally stop trying to hang on to what hasn’t been working and let it go. That’s the cool thing about this whole process. Nothing is static. Change is constantly occurring. The real questions are whether we’re going to stop resisting, choose to be conscious of our lives and our choices, and allow ourselves to jettison the baggage that’s been keeping us from flowing into a new expression of our lives?

Join me. Let’s let it go. Let’s see what happens!

Scorpion – Photo: newatlas.com

(T-758)

Wild Sunset  – Day 329

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Weird sunset (No filter) 4 October 19 – Photo: L.Weikel

Wild Sunset  

The sunset in the above photo was not tonight’s. It was taken Friday night, while Karl and I were taking a walk.

I have to say, I was thrilled when the colors of the evening sky actually came through accurately. I’m always trying to snap at just the perfect moment when the automatic focus is hitting the sweet spot, usually ever so briefly. It’s an elusive game I play with myself. And to be honest, I rarely win.

But Friday night? Yeah. I won the lottery. Take another look at that photo and really take in the exquisite manner in which the colors segue into each other not subtly, as is often the case, but dramatically. Blue sky here – and boom – yellow/orange butting right up to it. No gradual or subtle blending or shading.

Next Night

After experiencing that amazing sunset roughly halfway through our walk, I have to tell you: we were also enchanted by the night sky as the stars became more and more brilliant the longer we walked. Alas, you’re all spared my rather hackneyed attempts at trying to share what I see in that regard, since shots of the stars and moon are notoriously difficult to take. The beauty of the constellations, though, was exquisite.

Then, during yesterday’s walk, we crested one of our hills along our circuit and came upon a feast in the making. It turned out that someone nearby had lost one of their chickens. And from the looks of the carcass, it was quite obviously a fine, healthy layer-of-eggs.

Photos: L. Weikel

Nevertheless, I was surprised at how bold these vultures (which we were taught to call ‘peace eagles’ years and years ago) were in hanging close to us. If you look closely, you will see a number of them lurking on the branches of surrounding trees, as well as out front,

Once again, I took a bunch of photos with my iPhone, and all in all, I think they turned out pretty well. I can assure you, none of the five or six peace eagles were all that off-put by our presence; at least, the delicious morsels this sacrificial chicken was providing them were more than worth the choice to stick their ground and not fly off in a frenzy of fear.

Personally, I’m feeling their appearance this weekend was all about encouraging both Karl and me to allow the old ways of thinking and resisting to die. It’s time to recycle those old thoughts and limiting beliefs so that new experiences can be seen, experienced, and celebrated. And finally, it’s all worth the time it’s taking to bring in the new.

Here’s to a new and improved week of exploration in all that’s possible!

Taking flight – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-782)

Doing the Grunt Work – Day Forty Nine

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Doing the Grunt Work

I’m afraid this second-to-last post in 2018 is dismally pedestrian. But necessary.

I spent the day today doing the grunt work I spoke of yesterday, only today was the piece by piece examination, recycling, and, when necessary, shredding. I’m astonished by the volume of paper I’ve purged.

I only have about three short piles left to examine in this fashion, and tomorrow is my deadline.

I’ll confess: the stuff of Karl’s, I’ve saved (euphemistically, at least) for tomorrow. And I’m not going to beat myself up over any of it. If I need to save half a dozen file folders for a couple more years – or thirty – or 100 – so be it.

Purging My Old Hats

Instead, I’ve been engrossed in reliving my work lives at the two institutions prior to devoting the vast majority of my time to my shamanic practice.

It’s amazing to me how much I forget from year to year. It makes me wonder if that’s unique to me or if most people allow vast chunks of detail to float down the river of memory, too. Sometimes I wonder if I deliberately let go of a lot of memories by recording my life contemporaneously in journals.

I don’t know if that’s true – but it does provide me with a modicum of comfort.

So many details seemed so important at the time, and the urgency of a lot of it came back to me as I re-read emails I’d saved and reports I’d written. And now…wow. So many issues we dealt with have become exponentially worse.

I think the biggest surprise, however, is how freely we used our social security numbers on so many documents only 15 years ago. Wow.

My Shredder – My Best Friend

As a result, I’ve been shredding my behind off. Indeed, I literally overheated our shredder twice today. We started smelling burning plastic and then a long band of red light (that I’d never seen before) appeared beside the small green ‘on’ light, and the shredder stopped working completely.

We even used our social security numbers as ID numbers for our health insurance plans! I don’t think we had any inkling of the dangers we’d routinely face around identity theft.

Speaking of identity theft…that was another memory I’d put into the back of my mind and recollected in all its complicated detail today. I’ll definitely have to write about that experience one of these days.

The bottom line, though, which I believe the comments many of you so generously shared on Facebook confirmed, is that this purging is necessary. It’s perfect. It’s an extraordinarily empowering way to begin not only a new year but also a new chapter.

(T-1062)