It’s a full moon tonight/today. Technically, I’m writing this at midnight Friday night – and the moon will reach its fullness at 3:17 a.m. EST, just a scootch over three hours from now. But all day Saturday the moon will be considered full. And I just realized how the full moon is manifesting for me this month: in the sense of completion that comes with filling another journal cover to cover.
I began this journal at the beginning of August, a few days after discovering I’d left my prior journal buried in the cushions of our porch glider only to have it soaked by a torrential thunderstorm that saturated piles and piles of pillows and glider cushions to wreak havoc on my treasured notebook. The soaking and subsequent irreparable running of colored inks left many pages of that journal looking like simple watercolor washes. Utterly unreadable. It was awful, and I finally wrote about it here.
Momentous Memories
This current ‘diary’ that will be retired tomorrow spans just shy of seven months and contains some truly profound and treasured experiences. Its deep purple cover shields the pages that document our beloved Sheila’s decline and eventual passing in September.
On the other end of the spectrum, it spans the wedding of our youngest son – although, truth be told, I wrote more about the wedding here in my blog posts than I did in my actual journal. Sometimes, when you’re being pulled in several directions at once and trying to get a lot of last minute details covered, something has to give. Sadly, detailed entries for a spate of days in October were casualties of time devoted instead to hand-painting masks for the wedding party – a sacrifice I don’t regret. Although – as usual – I am disappointed that I didn’t slog through the sleepiness and capture more specific feelings and details.
But hey – at least I kept true to my 1111 Devotion and managed to get posts written and published throughout the entire festivities. Those posts were documentations too, just of a different sort.
The In-Between
And between those two high of highs and low of lows were the details of a pandemic spreading across our nation. Two pandemics, actually: one called Covid-19 that has topped 500,000 deaths in our country alone (in the span of a year) and another called political disinformation and lies by those elected as our representatives and leaders, leading to a literal armed insurrection.
Yep, this journal has seen a lot.
As usual, I’m grateful for the memories and eager to begin a new chapter in my life.
Mystic Art Medicine Oracle Cards by Cher Lyn – “Dreamtime”
Blue Taurus Moon
I’m sure most of us are aware that in less than ten hours (10:49 a.m. E.T. on Saturday, October 31, 2020), we will be experiencing a full moon in the sign of Taurus. It’s in Taurus because the sun is in Scorpio – and a full moon occurs when the sun and moon are in opposition, or on opposite sides of the zodiac (opposite each other from the perspective of Earth). And to make this day even more powerful, it’s actually a blue Taurus moon because it is the second full moon occurring within the same month.
I actually wrote about this month’s ‘first’ full moon, which occurred on October 1st (in the sign of Aries, since the sun was in Libra). One of my suggestions in that post was to pay attention to what was unfolding in our lives at the beginning of each week, because numerologically, each week in October can bring a foreshadowing of what we might expect in each of the quarters of the coming year.
To be honest, I didn’t consciously think about what was unfolding at each quarter phase of the moon this month, but I’ve left myself some clues (these posts being at least somewhat of a reference point, as well as my journal entries). I’m hoping all of you are keeping journals too, or are at the very least jotting down on a calendar or something a few memories or reference points to important experiences you’re having throughout these extraordinary times.
I know I’m like a broken record on this subject, but I promise you, your future self will never regret that you left it mnemonic breadcrumbs. Never.
Full Moon and Weekend Focus
I pulled two cards for us in contemplation of the power of this full moon, landing as it is on Halloween, and this being the final weekend before this momentous election on Tuesday.
What should we be focusing upon, I asked Spirit. I consulted the Mystic Art Medicine Oracle Cards by Cher Lyn, which have been such powerful guideposts for us these past several months.
Dreamtime
The top card I chose was Dreamtime.
Dreamtime – “Aboriginal Dream”
Dream into your world with a song
Awaken your Heart’s vibration…
You do belong…
Cosmic Stars shine from above…
The Earth’s held in balance,
The Earth’s held in love.
The Aboriginal sends his sounds
Through the didgeridoo
Into the Earth, me and you…
—Cher Lyn
“Aboriginal people believe the true source of the mind is in the inspirational reality of the Dreamtime. In the painting of “Aboriginal Dream,” the Aborigine’s body is ceremonially decorated. He holds his didgeridoo connecting Earth and sky through vibration. He sends energy into the Earth symbolizing the integration of light into matter. Healing happens through the ancestors’ love all working together with the Goddess of Creation to help bring us back into harmony. The Aboriginal Dreamtime medicine is in the Earth’s heart and spirals, rocks, the oceans, cosmic universe and the sky.
It is important to take notice of your dreams. There lie within hidden messages. (…)
Choosing this medicine cards suggests you follow the Aboriginal into the Dreamtime and explore the otherworldly mysteries unfolding for you. The power to dream is the power to participate in the creation matrix that is only found within you. Hidden messages from ancient times cross over through and into your past, present and future time continuum. Awaken in your Dreamtime wisdom. Create and play in infinite potential.”
Mystic Art Medicine Oracle Cards by Cher Lyn – “Integration”
Integration
The “foundation” card I chose (which is what I call the card that’s on the bottom of the deck when I make a selection) was Integration.
Integration – “Rainbow Blesser”
A command for our souls, all parts to return.
I call in God’s tribes to integrate these sides,
Easily and gently, let peace within reside.
—Cher Lyn
“The image shown is from the upper portion of the painting “Rainbow Blesser.” An Indigenous profile of a man wears his Godhead as a headdress. His vertebra surrounding the spinal cord is aligned with vibrant colors associated with the chakras. His healing hand tattooed with a six-pointed star is integrated with a heart, sending love energies to the Earth’s children. The vision of Rainbow Blesser brings in the birth of the rainbow tribe creating healing, unity, and Integration into One.
The Hopi Indians believe that each of the world’s religions contains a thread and that these threads are always seeking each other. Integrally woven like a rope that will pull us out of this dark world and into the next. We all share an identical need to feel love. No matter what color the skin or how different the dress and how you perceive the behavior, there is no real significant division between others and us. Our basic nature is the same.
Inside each and every one of us, our core is entirely whole and complete. Yet, on the exterior everything is fragmented and appearances can seem strange. (…)
You do not need a new dogma to believe in. Inside at your core, you are perfect. You can always cultivate a stronger sense of compassion and tolerance towards yourself and others. Inspire unity in your consciousness. Each of us carries an aspect, clue, or piece of existence on how Creation works. Individually first, then collectively we come together to bring humanity into wholeness.
My Take
Yet again, we’re being asked to dream our reality into being. This is important for us to do this weekend, particularly at the powerful time of this blue moon.
At the very foundation of what we’re dreaming into being is our knowledge, at our core, that WE are the RAINBOW TRIBE that yearns to bring humanity together.
I think this photo of Tigger speaks volumes. If you followed the news at all today, in any form – radio, television, FB, Twitter – and if you’re anything like me, you’re probably harboring this declaration as your silently mumbled Election Day (and beyond) strategy: “Take cover!”
And yet, as we all know, that is an essentially unsustainable tack to take. We can and possibly would be advised to run for cover initially, because, well, there’s a decent chance that people are going to get worked up over whatever happens next Tuesday, and they’re almost sure to act out in some way. But taking cover can only suffice so long.
Writing It Out
It’s probably time for us to start mapping out strategies within our own minds as to how we might want to proceed given various potential outcomes. This is where writing in a journal can really be a huge boon to our mental health.
Let’s face it: we’re being faced with what, for many of us, feels like an existential threat. Even as I type those words, I’m reminded how – as real as those words feel to me – how privileged I am to be writing them as a white middle aged woman. (Ew. But facts are facts.) If I’m feeling that the events we’re going to be encountering over the next several days and weeks, if not months and years, are posing an existential threat to me, what in the world must Black and brown people, indigenous people, LGBTQ people, immigrants, and all sorts of other people feel?
When I think about the risks we’re all facing right now, with the hammer of an ultra conservative Supreme Court majority held over our heads, my stomach lurches. I’m afraid for my friends who are married to their same-gendered loves. I’m terrified for all Black people – but especially young Black men (and those who love them) – and the risks they take just by walking down a street or driving in a car. I grieve over the horrific conditions immigrant children (and their parents) find themselves in – here, of all places – when all they sought was escape from untenable circumstances.
What world do we live in? What country are we creating? What really matters?
What Really Matters?
If we give ourselves a little breathing room to actually pin down the thoughts that are careening around in our minds like an old-fashioned pinball machine playing quadruple bonus balls, it helps.
Yes, perhaps we initially, at least furtively, think, “I’ll leave the country.” Well? Write it out. Where would you go (especially now)? How would you support yourself? What would you do with your current abode and all the stuff that’s inside it?
Thinking through your options, and writing them down, clarifies the mind. It also serves to stop the endless stream of thoughts that actually don’t serve you. Details matter. They bring the situation you’re contemplating down from the elusive, broad-brush stroke airy land of threats and idealistic thoughts, to earthy practicality.
If you really think you may want to leave, ask yourself, “What’s my plan?” And listen to the answer that pours out of your fingertips.
If writing out the details makes you realize leaving is too much of a hassle or – equally as possible – you feel a stirring of something else underneath that knee jerk “I’m leaving” reaction, you need to follow that thread.
Does it stick in your craw to imagine abdicating everything you’ve been taught to believe the United States stands for? If so, describe your feelings. What really, truly matters to you? What are you willing to do for those ideals? If nothing else, write it out to yourself.
Our Greatest Hours
Believe it or not, I truly believe our greatest hours may be approaching. I’ve not even the slightest clue what’s going to unfold over the next five days, much less the next five weeks, five months, or five years. But I do have a powerful sense that whatever happens may catalyze all of us into making choices we never dreamed we’d be asked – or forced – to make. We may be called to dig deeply into acting upon what our core values demand of us.
But first, we need to know what those core values are. Not high-and-mighty, lofty ideals. I’m talking nitty gritty, fundamental-to-my-identity, what matters to me most values. Only then can we each decide for ourselves the answer to: what am I willing to do to demand, protect, defend, and advocate for these values?
If we give ourselves the gift of reflecting on these questions over the next several days instead of doom watching or doom scrolling (such eerily and sadly apt phrases), we just might realize that we’re approaching the most important choice points of our lives. Our reasons for being born at this time, in this country, and being faced with these specific challenges may all be coalescing now.
We may be approaching our greatest hours. Let’s prepare.
I’m not big on speeches. I listen to them when they’re in my face or given at a time that commands attention, such as the State of the Union. But if given the option? I usually pass and wait for the highlights later in the evening. Today, though, a campaign speech was given that was well worth a listen.
That was the case with me again today. I heard that Joe Biden was going to give a speech at Gettysburg and even saw clips of Trump supporters, sadly fulfilling the stereotypes, out and about protesting Biden’s arrival in this small central Pennsylvania town. It didn’t even occur to me again, quite honestly, to pursue watching or listening to that speech.
Late this afternoon, someone I know and respect suggested that this was an outstanding speech, definitely worthy of attention. I started listening, but had errands. I didn’t even get into it far enough to give it a chance.
Then tonight, after our walk, Karl and I had the tv turned up loud so I could hear it while I made dinner. We were watching a taped segment, and surprisingly, the host aired the full Biden speech at Gettysburg.
All I can say is that I’m glad the powers that be kept thrusting this speech in front of my nose. And I’m glad I finally listened.
We Really Truly Need This
And so, on the off chance that any of you may have eschewed the opportunity to listen to Joe Biden’s speech at Gettysburg on the afternoon of Tuesday, October 6th – exactly four weeks before election day – I am providing a link here. Note: the speech doesn’t begin until the 3:00 minute mark.
It’s only about 22 minutes long. I think you’ll find it’s worth it.
It’s a speech aimed at shifting perceptions, expectations, and aspirations.
If nothing else, we owe it to ourselves to allow for the possibility that it’s not too late to save our country from the carnage DT is relentlessly trying to wreak upon us. We owe it to each other, ourselves, and our children to dream this vision of our country into being: stronger, more diverse, more free than we’ve ever been in our history.
A Reminder
October’s not over yet, my friends. In fact, we’re only hitting the one week mark tomorrow. I’m guessing you’re possibly rethinking my entreaty to keep track of your perceptions of what’s going on all around us this month. If you haven’t been writing things down and keeping track yet…I challenge you to reflect upon the myriad of shockers we’ve survived already in the past seven days.
Time’s not up yet.
And as we continue to negotiate these turbulent beyond measure times, keep the embers of hope and determination reflected in Biden’s ‘Battle for the Soul of the Nation’ speech tucked away in your heart, refusing to be doused by all the awfulness being heaped upon us right now.
Doesn’t it just figure that this most provocative and transformative year of 2020, October plays host to two full moons? The first full moon was today, October 1st. And of course the second one will be on, you guessed it, Halloween. Because what could possibly be more in keeping with the year 2020 than having a so-called “Blue Moon” occur on Halloween?
Tonight’s moon, which I’m dubbing Sheila’s Moon (just because), was especially photogenic. I actually took the photos I’m including in tonight’s post last night. I’m glad I did, because the sky clouded over this evening before I had a chance to experience her in all her glory.
I did, however, encounter a Cloud Woman this evening, running across the sky with arms flung back, her long hair streaming after her. She appeared to me to be running with abandon – not in fear, but rather in joyful delight that she had such gorgeous fields to be skimming over, toward a sunset that could melt the hardest heart with its sumptuous colors.
Cloud Woman Racing Across the Sky – Photo: L. Weikel
Joyful Abandon
Yes indeed, joyful abandon is the emotion I sensed emanating from this Cloud Woman racing across the sky. In fact, it’s possible she was prancing ahead of the rising full moon as a sort of curtain-raiser or cosmic warm-up act for the main event.
And perhaps she is dancing October into our awareness. If that’s the case, it occurs to me that we might want to engage in some quick reflection and notation. What do we notice at the edges of her skirt that she may be whooshing into our life?
Cloud Woman From Afar – Photo: L. Weikel
Perceptions
Indeed, let’s pay attention to, hone, and take stock of our perceptions! Take a few minutes to honor yourself and your feelings by jotting down what’s going on in your life as we experience this Harvest Moon at the inception of October. What thoughts occupy your mind? What hopes and dreams are you contemplating? Of course, there’s a lot about the outside world that you might want to document for posterity. But what’s also going on in your personal life? What emotions are you experiencing? What musings do you have about your life, your relationships, your place in the world?
When you think about the range of possible changes in your life, let them flow onto the page. From a numerological perspective, I’ve been taught by Alison Baughman that it behooves all of us to pay particular attention to what unfolds in our lives during October (yes, of every year), because October, being the 10th month, is a ‘1’ month – and hence is a reflection of what we might expect in our year ahead.
So as we skip across the sky with our Cloud Woman, perhaps we can set a little reminder for ourselves to take stock each week – perhaps at every quarter phase of the moon as she dances from full to full – and pause to reflect and record our perceptions of what’s going on around us, both globally and intimately. Each week might reflect what we can expect for each quarter of 2021.
It could be a fun exercise. It’s possible we might see one expression of a situation or issue or relationship now and see a shifting of that into a higher octave next year. The trick is documenting it now and then tracking it later.
Full Moon to Full Moon
But first let’s just see how this wild and wonderful October plays out on its own. What will we be thinking about and experiencing just four short weeks from now when the Blue Moon beams its light upon us on All Hallow’s Eve? We think we won’t forget these times, but I guarantee: so much is flying at us every single day, we will be astonished and grateful for having kept track. And you never know how our perceptions might change if we give ourselves permission to take the time to notice what’s really going on in our lives.
Today at 3:12 p.m. EDT, the moon was full. The Old Farmer’s Almanac refers to a full moon in June as the Full Strawberry Moon. With strawberries ripening and becoming abundantly available at farm stands and grocery stores, we can safely guess where this moon got its name.
Today also marked a partial lunar eclipse. The significance of this eclipse will remain to be revealed. (Ha ha – that’s sort of a play on the fact that eclipses tend to be revelatory in the sense that things that have been hidden for a long time, often even from ourselves, tend to be revealed by an eclipse.) But seriously, we can certainly see this playing out on a macro level – throughout our country – and on a micro level, if we’re honest with ourselves and really look at the state of our marriages, lives, other relationships, and careers.
What is being revealed to us now?
Last Eclipse
The last such lunar eclipse this year occurred at the beginning of January. It also occurred on a Friday – January 10th, 2020, to be exact.
You might want to go back to your journals and check out what was going on for you back then. Was anything hidden, unexpected, or of import revealed to you on or around that date? I have to say, that eclipse was one of the most stunning ones I’ve experienced, when it came to revelations about people’s natures that totally blindsided me. Profound trust was startlingly dashed.
And on a global level, here’s an article that can, in hindsight, give us all pause.
Entering Eclipse ‘Season’
As significant as the revelations were that came on and around the lunar eclipse in January of this year, I have to uneasily wonder what’s in store for all of us over the next month. That’s because, not only did we experience another lunar eclipse today (if partial – and not visible in North America), we have a solar eclipse to look forward to that will occur on the same day as the summer solstice (June 21st), promising an even greater impact, and then yet another lunar eclipse on July 5th.
Bing, bang, boom.
I’m not suggesting that we pay attention to eclipse season – and in particular this eclipse season – in order to generate fear. Rather, my intention is the opposite. I’m simply offering some information that, if we pay attention to it, will perhaps in some small way, prepare us for the unexpected.
Let’s face it, world wide, we’ve been getting curve balls hurled at us. But here in the United States, in particular, we’re dodging a virtual onslaught of major life, values, and reality upheavals.
Expect the Unexpected
It’s really tough to expect the unexpected. But there is good reason for all of us not to assume that ‘the worst is over,’ or ‘things are getting back to normal.’ Actually, there are many good reasons not to make such assumptions, beyond the adage pertaining to assumptions in general.
If there was ever a time in our lives to keep a journal, I’d say this is it.
I’m encouraging you, then, to beef up your discipline and dedication to writing about what’s going on in your life at this time. Be as specific and thorough as possible. If nothing else, it could end up being a fascinating reflection on how – or even if – you can see a correlation between events in your personal life, events on a local or national or global scale, and our experience of the three eclipses of June/July 2020.
Today the moon and the sun were conjunct in Pisces at 10:33 a.m. EST, meaning it was a ‘new’ moon.
You may or may not personally experience differences in how you feel or how you perceive yourself or your surroundings during the various phases of the moon. It’s helpful, if you can, to keep a journal and record your feelings and the various interactions you have with people on any given day.
Of course, I make this recommendation because it’s really easy to lose track of these types of things if we don’t write them down.
Everyone Is Different
And let’s face it: everyone is different. Not all of us are as tuned into the moon and its phases. And even when we are tuned in (i.e., we’re pretty cognizant of when it’s a full moon, when it’s a new moon, and when the moon is waxing or waning), we may not be fully aware of how the moon impacts us personally – or even whether or not it does.
The world is full of anecdotes about the effect a full moon has on sensitive people. Thus, it is not surprising when there are increases in potential mental health issues or even certain crimes during a full moon.
On a more mundane level, we may feel a yearning to complete a project or find ourselves sensing that a relationship or a business partnership has reached its fullest potential around the time of a full moon, and realize it’s time to let it go.
The same can be said for new moons – although new moons are more about having reached a place of emptiness. A new moon is usually experienced as a time of enthusiastically beginning something new, planting some new seeds, or celebrating a sense of openness to the potential of embracing something completely new. I’ve written about the time of the dark moon on a number of occasions over the past 469 days, here, here, and here (this one being especially relevant, since it also mentions Mercury being retrograde at the same time – which is also the case today) – just to link to a few.
Your Rhythms
It’s easy to dismiss the effect the moon might be having on you, your moods, your life experiences, and your decisions. Many of us find it just so easy to scoff at the old ways of trying to make sense of our world. It’s much easier to pretend to have ourselves and our world all figured out such that we simply are not influenced by something as mundane as the phases of the moon.
But again, this is the exact attitude that begs to be invited to keep track. Notice, in writing, how your energy shifts, ebbing and flowing throughout the month. You just might come to learn more about yourself and how influenced you may or may not be than you ever realized. And sometimes, if you keep accurate notes, you may come to realize that certain people with whom you interact on a long term basis actually seem to react differently to various situations depending upon the moon’s phase.
Again – once we start keeping track, we may learn more about ourselves and others who are in our proximity than we ever thought we could or would. Just remember: knowledge is power. If you’re too busy glibly dismissing the validity of tracking the moon’s phases or astrology in general without trying it, you may be missing a wonderful opportunity to know yourself better.
A Lovely Journal
Of course, you can always keep track of your feelings and experiences and how they track (or not) with the phases of the moon in a simple, spiral bound notebook from CVS. Or you can opt for something that keeps you more in direct awareness of the moon. A great journal for this specific work is produced by my dear friend Karen Ward, of Moon Mna, in Ireland. Check out her website and see if her journal piques your interest.
Notice whether you’re being drawn to bringing in a new attitude, starting to plan for a new phase in your life, thinking about applying for a new job, or maybe even contemplating starting a family. There are a myriad ways in which the start of something new may be knocking on the door of your consciousness.
Pay attention! Keep track. What can it hurt?
Men Too
Just because women are particularly connected to the moon throughout most of their lives, it’s really important to realize that men, too, share a connection as well. Our bodies consist mostly of water, and the moon exerts a great a deal of influence over water (hence the tides). There’s not that great a difference in the water content between men and women. As a result it just might come as an even greater surprise to men, if they start tracking the moon’s influence over their lives, to realize just how much they are affected by that great orb in the sky.
I distinctly remember thinking, as I was finishing up last night’s post, that I had at least three different subjects I could write a post about. They popped into my head just as I was finishing up, and I thought to myself, “I should write them down.”
Well, contrary to what I urge all my Listening Retreat participants to do whenever they receive some guidance or have a dream, I neglected to do so. I looked around, didn’t see anything within arm’s length upon which I could write those ideas down, so I gave up.
I regret to admit that I also distinctly remember saying to myself, “Oh forget it. I’ll remember them.”
Famous Last Words
Oh, what a trap that is. In fact, I think that’s one of the single most frequent reasons we give ourselves for not writing dreams down, especially. How many times have you awakened from a dream that is crystal clear in your mind – indeed, so crisp and detailed that you think to yourself, “I’ll have no trouble remembering this!?”
A corollary to the ‘this is so fresh and real I’ll never forget it’ syndrome, at least with respect to dreams, is the thought, “This is unbelievably mundane. So mundane that I’m not even going to waste my time and risk waking myself up even more than I already am to write it down.”
I specifically warn against the perils of failing to write these types of dreams down because I’ve found those seemingly mundane dreams often harbor surprisingly enlightening double entendres. And it’s virtually impossible (for me at least) to have the clarity and perspective to discern that I’m in the midst of a ‘play of words’ when it’s 4:00 a.m. and I’m still have inside the dreamworld. So – it’s only through the direct experience of realizing the depth of these seemingly superficial dreams that I’ve realized the importance of capturing them on paper.*
Not One of the Three
All of which reminds me of a dream I had a few weeks ago that definitely seemed mundane and a little weird when I lay in bed realizing I’d been dreaming – and contemplated rolling over and resuming my slumber. It seemed terribly mundane (and a bit unsettling) and I could see no point to writing it down. Indeed, it’s almost as if there was a little gremlin between my ears (no comment) actively urging me to just roll over and go back to sleep.
But I didn’t.
And when I read that dream in my journal the next morning…I sorta kinda got goosebumps.
I want you to have that experience as well. We are such amazing creatures and there is so very much more to us and our experiences than we realize, including the way we communicate with ourselves, each other, and even, perhaps, other realities.
The funny thing is, this was not one of the three topics I should’ve written down last night! Hopefully I’ll remember them tomorrow…
Reaching out. Photo: L. Weikel
*I do know some people who’ve taken to speaking their dreams into a recorder or their iPhone, which they keep by their bedside. If that works for you, go for it. I nevertheless feel that the physical act of writing the dream out has a particularly unique ability to trigger our awareness of our psyche’s use of homonyms, etc. to get a message across.
It’s so frustrating how often it seems to be cloudy outside when a full moon, an eclipse, a meteor shower, or any other such celestial event is taking place.
Mind you, I’ve witnessed some very cool atmospheric and ‘cosmic’ events. So many, I suppose, that I really have no standing to complain. But hey – it’s Friday the 13thand the last time a full moon will take place on this date until I am 90 damn years old.
I would like to have seen it, documented it in my journal, perhaps even made an, albeit woefully inadequate, attempt to snap a shot of it for posterity. But no.
Now I have to do my best to cling to this mortal coil for another 30 years, just so I can point to this cranky-ass blog post and say, “See? I was aware of the last one, and I hung in there another thirty years just to finally SEE this one!”
Another Score for Journaling
One interesting little vignette, though: I checked and found that I did, in fact, make an entry in my journal back on Friday, October 13, 2000. And the very first sentence I wrote was: “FULL MOON (in Aries, no less).” (The ‘no less’ comment was because my sun sign is Aries. Therefore I obviously felt that full moon might be tweaking me a bit more powerfully.)
I didn’t make any reference to the fact that the full moon was also falling on a Friday the 13th. This was early internet days, definitely pre-Google and pre-FB, so the heightened awareness of occurrences like these (and perhaps even more relevantly, their relative either commonplace nature or rarity) were much less well known. I probably didn’t bat an eye at the confluence of these two events. Indeed, had I known that it would not occur again until this day, one month shy of 19 years later, I would have mentioned it in my journal – and pondered what my life might be like all those years in the future.
Twenty Years Ago
I was entering the final stages of publication of Owl Medicine. Good grief, that’s depressing. To think – I published my book that long ago and still haven’t followed up with the sequel(s).
In that entry, I also discuss creating my website, which I initially set up under www.sagebearpress.com. (If you click on that link, you’ll see I’ve kept that name and simply reroute visitors to my Owl Medicine site, which, back then, I was only toying with setting up as a website.
My Reward for the Day: A Reminder
As I’ve found happens more often than I can say, once I went back and started reading my entry for October 13, 2000, I was drawn into indulging my curiosity over what else was going on in our lives and occupying my mind at that time.
And that’s when I discovered quite a surprise.
A week after that Friday the 13th full moon co-incidence, I’d apparently found a bit more time to write in my journal and therefore covered a lot more ground in my entry of October 20th than I had on the 13th.
As background, a year or so earlier, I had scaled down my law practice to a substantial degree in order to focus upon the final stages of writing, editing, and publishing Owl Medicine. Given that OM was nearly ready to ‘hatch,’ I was contemplating my full-bore return to the workforce, and I was weighing whether I wanted to reinvigorate my private law practice or branch into some other (as yet unknown) area.
Without going into the somewhat maudlin self-assessment I was engaged in that day, I have to admit I was astonished to read that I considered “…the stuff I (…) do ‘best’ is listening.”
Of course, I lamented at that time that I probably could never get paid enough to contribute meaningfully to our family’s well-being by just ‘listening.’
Listening – It’s Been the Theme of My Life
What I guess I’m surprised by is how listening has been such a persistent and critically important aspect of my life for so many years. Actually, it’s the underlying theme of my life. And yet – I’m always surprised by how important it’s always been to me.
I wonder why I’m surprised?
All I know is that on this full moon, on this Friday the 13th, I’m deciding to take my love for and commitment to listening to the next level.
Yeah, I know I waxed rhapsodic over my new journal last night. I assure you, it was heartfelt. Truly.
I’m also a real pain in the behind with my clients over keeping a journal. I must bring it up about 15,000 times during a session, and if not quite that many times in the session itself, then most definitely in my follow up correspondences.
I’ve witnessed first hand the myriad times I’ve benefited from having written down my internal observations and feelings. Truly, those times are virtually countless. From documenting details that have served me in great stead to recall, to purging myself of emotions and accusations that could easily have led to vast heartache and further misunderstanding had they been expressed outwardly, to another person, my journal is in fact my very best friend.
Making Connections Helps Us Make Sense of It All
I’ve also seen the proverbial light bulb go on above people’s heads (usually my clients or students – most being both, turns out) when they experience that zing of excitement when a message or experience from the past (which they wrote down) somehow links with an experience or encounter now – and the dots connect in ways that reveal something much greater than they ever would have imagined (or even remembered, had they not written it down in the first place).
It’s in the details. It’s part of honoring our process. And our process includes feeling our fears, figuring out what we want, describing and immersing ourselves in our really sad and depressed days, expressing our dreams, and reveling in our triumphs – both inner and outer.
I can’t declare more passionately how essential I feel it is to our own self-awareness and growth that we capture on paper (ideally) (but electronically will suffice) (beggars can’t be choosers) (I’ll take a win where I can get it) (I’ll stop speaking in parenthetic phrases now) our innermost understandings of ourselves.
That’s why I keep coming back to the importance of journaling again and again.
Revelations Often Come Within a Single Entry
One of the fascinating things about the transformative nature of journaling is how, more often than not, at least in my experience, the transformation actually takes place within the journal entry itself. Meaning it’s not over a series of journal entries that major shifts take place. That happens for sure, sometimes.
But time and time again, I have sat down with my journal and felt something – some emotion, perhaps, or held an exceedingly strong belief about a particular subject – and by the time I have allowed myself to sit and write and contemplate and perhaps write down all my options, or given voice to all the possible reasons why something may have unfolded the way it did, I notice a distinctly different feeling within myself.
Usually I’ve achieved a sense of peace. Almost always, even if I still have no idea how I want to move forward or what I may be walking into next, I know who I am and how I feel in that moment.
My Journal is My Best Friend
Journaling helps me know who I am. It helps me understand why I think, feel, and behave the way I do in any given moment. And because of that, I think journaling helps me love myself.
Quite honestly, I can’t think of a greater gift I can give to anyone else. That’s why I recommend it like a broken record to anyone and everyone I live with, work with, or care about.
So with all of what I’ve just written, knowing that I have some 63 journals on my library wall and a fresh brand-spanking-new journal just waiting for me to initiate it, you’d think I would have christened that baby today, wouldn’t you?
Well, let me dispel that illusion. In spite of my best intentions…there’s always tomorrow.
