exhaustion

A Rough One – ND #117

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 2 Comments
Is That a Bat Signal in the Sky? – Photo: L. Weikel

A Rough One

Last week seems to have been a rough one for a lot of people. I’m just tossing this observation out there in case anyone felt it or perhaps noticed it being endured by others. Perhaps it’s just a buildup of all the awfulness we’re witnessing all over the place, and especially in Ukraine. Or maybe it’s a result of the past two years of Covid and strife. Maybe – just maybe – it’s exhaustion.

I know many people who are doing their best to just hang on, hang in there, or otherwise maintain a façade of chill. And for whatever reason, maintaining that fragile balance is especially challenging at the moment.

Spring

It feels to me as if this new season of spring is speeding everything up. It’s as if our rollercoaster ride has, over the past couple of months, been tick-tick-ticking its way up that first really steep hill that’s usually at the very beginning of the ride. The one that, when you breach the top and gravity zooms you down and creates a momentum that takes your breath away over the next several zigs, zags, and centrifugal-force loops, you sometimes find yourself asking yourself why in the world you paid good money to experience this.

If any of us are feeling that subtle sense that things are really going to start heating up via unexpected revelations and other exposures of truth and intentions, it’s possible we’re also just a teensy bit on edge over what the reaction to those revelations will be. Yes, many crave accountability. But there’s also the faction that may or may not accept that reckoning peaceably.

From Micro to Macro

What I find fascinating is how we are seeing the very same themes playing out in our own neighborhoods and school districts, in the way our states treat their citizens, to the entertainment industry, and all the way up and out to how entire countries are behaving around the world. Abuses of power. Over-reactions. Blatant lies and gaslighting. People beseeching authorities for accountability or, at the very least, an acknowledgment and attempt to address and rectify the abuses – and terror at what those who may be held to account for their behavior may do to the rest of us. We are in fear of their spoiled tendencies to lash out when they are caught hurting the rest of us (or the world at large).

It just seems like we’re getting tired of allowing the bullies and tyrants to get their way. What kind of a life is it to look the other way when abuses are taking place all around us? What kind of a life is it to keep pretending everything is normal, when right before our eyes it appears as though the ones that break the rules rule the day?

I’m not sure why I’m writing this except to say we need to stick together. Last week was a rough one. This week may be worse. No matter what, though, we need to stand up for what we fundamentally believe is right and true. And we need to be especially kind to ourselves and one another in the days to come.

Because from the smallest encounters to the greatest, it will be the kindness we display that will be the ‘bat signal,’ if you will, that we’re both sending to and answering for each other.

A Break in the Gloom on the Horizon – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+117)

Be-Bopping Around – ND #16

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Escher Pups, Be-Bopping Around – Photo: L. Weikel

Be-Bopping Around

Depending upon how organized you are, when you read this post you may or may not have ahead of you at least another half day’s worth of be-bopping around to pick up last minute meal fixin’s or find that final phantom gift that just refuses to ‘click’ into place. Others of you will probably be engaging in the extravaganza of final wrapping. It’s even possible some will be baking or similarly engaged. I’m happy to encourage you to think I’ll be draped beside the fireplace reading a book and sipping a cup of rum-laced nog.

Yeah. I’m sure none of you fell for that fantasy. I’ll tell you what, though. Just re-reading it made me chuckle at the picture it painted in my head. It might even qualify as Crone Porn. Although, come to think of it, it’s probably more a form of Mother-of-Four-Under-the-age-of-10 Porn.

When I think back to my 30s and 40s, I don’t know how I managed to stay upright during the six week sprint from Thanksgiving through New Years. And now with everything more heightened and intense – and I do mean everything – I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be a parent.

I just hope by 3:00 p.m. or so tomorrow everyone will be very close to unplugging from it all.

OK, by 5:00, then. Man, you drive a hard bargain.

It’s a Test

To determine whether or not you’re stretched too thin and desperately need to break away from all the pressures and expectations, you need to look carefully at the puppy photo at the top of this post. What do you see? Are you sure?

I call this my Escher-Puppies. It’s a bit mind-twisty. Where does one begin and another end?

 

The Rehabilitation

As a person who feels responsible for maintaining a healthy connection with and between all of you, I cannot in good conscience leave you with the Escher Pups as your final image for the day. Thus I bestow upon you the great gobs of cuteness below.

If you’re feeling uptight or stressed out, look at this photo. Now imagine a Christmas-themed photo and maybe you’ll dream tomorrow’s post into being. (No, I did NOT take them to see Santa. I barely did that with my kids. There’s no way I’d do that to my pups.)

And besides, we all know and admit we’re suckers for puppy pictures. It’s the least I could do for all you holiday warriors.

P.S.: Tonight/tomorrow is our final exact Saturn square Uranus aspect. Woohoo! Let’s sit back and watch what happens.

Great Gobs of Cuteness – Photo: L. Weikel

(T+16)

Welcoming the Darkness – ND #14

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Sunset 21 December 21 – Photo: L. Weikel

Welcoming the Darkness

Sunset tonight was so starkly vivid and raw with color, it was as if the atmosphere itself had lit a celebratory bonfire welcoming the darkness.

Certainly the temperature plunged to a seasonal degree. I’m glad it did; it felt weird to be walking barefoot on the grass a few days ago. But the frozen ground really is unyielding. The puppies didn’t know what to make of it and seemed confused by how much it hurt when tearing across the tundra after their stuffed toy.

Perspective – Photo: L. Weikel

Survival Mode

Practically every single person I’ve spoken to in the past week mentioned how bone-tired they’re feeling. Some have even termed their outlook to be ‘in survival mode.’

And we thought we were exhausted last year? Ha! If nothing else, hopefully we’ve learned the folly of challenging ‘worse.’

As we welcome and embrace the winter season, let’s commit to finding a way to truly rest our weary bones and rejuvenate our spirits. We probably shouldn’t naively believe that everything’s suddenly going to turn around over the next few weeks. But we can prepare ourselves to meet those days with refreshed perspective.

What activity (even if  – perhaps especially if – it is a non-activity) can we bring into our holiday season to honor our inner weariness? How do we replenish our inner wellspring of hope?

I’m feeling a yearning to read, to laugh and play games, to snuggle and be with the people I love most in the whole world. Maybe even to write a few words.

If we’re finding ourselves in survival mode – let’s make a point of surviving well.

Photo: L. Weikel

(T+14)

A Short One – Day 885

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Weeping Willow Blossoming – Photo: L. Weikel

A Short One

Tonight’s blog post is going to be a short one. I’m in the midst of being felled by an onslaught of tree pollen.

It’s hard to keep my eyes open this evening, and it’s not just a function of being tired – although that’s a part of it. My fatigue is merely a symptom.

My head is throbbing yet again and another reason I can’t keep my eyes open is because of the sensation of a knotted rope behind them. Every time I spent any amount of time outside today, when I came back inside I could feel the sensation of pollen clinging to my face and the faint buzz in my ears that’s always a tell-tale sign of allergies afoot.

I’ll admit, it’s hard to concentrate on anything at the moment. Everything became exponentially worse after our longer walkabout (4 miler) tonight. We actually tried to get in a shorter walkaround (2 miler) this morning, when we weren’t sure whether the rain would hold off later in the afternoon.

That means we managed to get in 5.5 miles today. No, we didn’t make it all the way around on the shorter walk because, of course, it started drizzling only about half a mile in.

Willows, Elm, and Ash

Maple, Juniper, and Alder. We’ve got all of these heavy-hitters not only on or near our property but perhaps even more importantly also lining our path as we walk through the countryside. What a double-edged sword the springtime can wield! The beauty of the lime green buds sprouting in every direction is such an affirmation of life and new growth. And yet.

Well, clearly I’m having a hard time thinking or writing about anything beyond my own miserable self. So I will spare you any further details.

In the meantime, please also enjoy this photo of a Goldfinch showing us a little feather in front of a lovely magnolia blossom.

Goldfinch and Magnolia Blossoms – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-226)

Is It Just Me – Day 714

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 8 Comments
Friends – Photo: L. Weikel

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me, or does anyone else wonder how the candidates – but especially the two 70+-something men running at the top of their respective parties’ tickets – manage to campaign day in and day out, week after week, month after month?

Honestly, it just seems like campaigning is unbelievably intense work, and I question how any of the nominees are able to maintain their schedules over the insanely long period of time that campaigns encompass in our country. And that doesn’t even take into consideration recent illnesses (cough) or other infirmities. Or just plain being in their 70s, for heaven’s sake.

The whole process of running for office in our country seems out of balance.

Things Feel Really Weird

I feel like I’m in limbo. In some ways, I can’t believe we’ve had to endure the past four years. There’s a part of me that feels incredibly excited by the prospect that our country is now at the point where we can redeem ourselves, not only for ourselves but also in the eyes of the rest of the world. Of course, the flip side of that excitement is pit-in-my-stomach dread over what may unfold on November 3rd – and beyond.

I know I’m not expressing anything unique here. And I regret that I’m unable to muster a discussion of anything more interesting or entertaining. But I’m finding myself binge-eating comfort foods and having a hard time thinking about how things will be two weeks from now.

In some ways, it feels like everything is going to change on November 3rd. It’s hard for me to even contemplate plans for Thanksgiving. Given everything that’s happening not only across our country but apparently throughout Europe and beyond, planning on doing anything beyond hunkering down and playing it safe would be irresponsible to everyone we love.

Maybe it was watching 60 Minutes tonight that has me fried. I don’t know.

A Few Of My Friends

I’m going to sign off for this evening. Since there are precious few photos I could share that would have anything to do with what I’ve written above, I’m going to share a couple I took earlier today of some friends who ran up to me when I called to them on our walk.

Their friendliness made me happy. I’m going to try to remember a couple carrots tomorrow.

We have to take care of ourselves – and our friends – in these weird times.

Do You Have a Treat For Me? – Photo: L. Weikel

 

(T-397)