Tonight is Silent – Day 576

Magical Twilight – Photo: L. Weikel

Tonight is Silent

Perhaps it’s because it’s a Tuesday evening and everyone who isn’t working a night shift somewhere is probably at home in bed. The night tonight is silent.

I imagine those who are just getting back to work this week, their job resurrected by their state or county ‘moving to yellow’ – or perhaps even ‘green’ (albeit not around here) – are reeling a bit from the unfamiliar chafe of resuming their old routines.

The past 11 weeks or so have proven uncomfortable for many of us. Initial binges on bread, Netflix, and puzzles actually, maybe, gave way to a gradual unraveling of the knot that’s resided in our gut for longer than we can remember. Perhaps we actually were getting the chance, for once, to sit with that knot for a bit and start picking at it. Loosening the restrictions. We began untying it ourselves.

Oh Those Retrogrades

There’s definitely a comfort to resuming old habits. The rhythm. The routine. The sense, real or imagined, that we have control over our lives. Or at least some dominion over our unique piece of real estate in what we collectively experience as our reality.

But now that we’re back to work, how does it feel? Has the extended time spent away from the mundane made the mundane feel any more or less compelling? I’m asking completely without judgment, just wondering if your job feels like a welcome relief or a much bigger oppression than it did 11 weeks ago.

With four major planets retrograde right now, our arms are being twisted to review, reassess, and remember. We’re being asked to look at what we’re doing and how we feel about doing it.

How did we feel when we thought, however fleetingly, that we might never return to our job? Does it feel as though we’re putting on an old, comfortable slipper when we return to work? Or have our feet spread out a bit, connected barefoot with the Earth while we were off, and now refuse to fit comfortably in those work shoes?

Grackle Persists

What jumped out at you in Grackle’s message last night? Are your emotions congested? Is there a situation in your life that you realize right now is keeping you stuck, trapped, or disempowered? Perhaps it isn’t your work that’s hindering your breath but another aspect of your life.

Perhaps you’re just supposed to stop talking (to yourself or everyone else) and act.

To be honest with you, I’m still reflecting on the myriad ways in which Grackle’s message dips in, pulls out, circles around, and braids an amazing tapestry of interconnection between my mundane life and the stuff the rest of the world is confronting.

The night tonight is silent. No crickets, no peepers, no bullfrogs nor owls. No foxes screaming or raindrops splattering. No wind whooshing through freshly unfurled leaves.

Just silence. My thoughts. And a willingness to dream a new reality into being.

Grackle Pair – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-535)

Back on Track – Day 518

Bursting Daffodil – Photo: L. Weikel

Back On Track

I have a confession: I’ve been absolutely indulgent lately. I know it’s been a stress response, but I also know that succumbing to the temptation to “eat for today since tomorrow may not come” is a tad short-sighted. I’m ready to get back on track.

It’s weird how we can blame our behavior on almost anything. Yes, we’re in the midst of a pandemic the likes of which hasn’t been experienced in a century. And yes, our country seems to be falling apart at the seams.

I’ve typed and deleted a number of sentences and paragraphs. And the truth is, I don’t want to rail against anybody or anything this evening. I want to stop going for the sugar high.

To be fair in my depiction of myself, I’ve only fallen asleep on my determination to eat as healthily as possible throughout this pandemic experience over the past week or so. Of course, the two birthdays within a few weeks were probably the catalysts.

Once I start eating cake, my inner Indulgent One starts to regain her voice. And wow, can she be mouthy. And persistent. And oh-so-persuasive. So I’m finding myself facing the consequences of a good three weeks of rampant indulgence.

Harder to Look On the Bright Side of Life

One of the most striking results of my consumption of a lot of baked goods is feeling down. Especially when I eat a lot of stuff with icing. My usual perspective is gone. Out the door.

And quite honestly, I find it pretty hard to talk myself out of my miserable perspective when I’m wallowing in it.

All of which brings me here: to this page, at this moment. I am tired. I know that my crappy perspective is tied 100% to what I’ve been eating. And what I’m feeling right now is trickling into everything. I don’t want that to happen.

But Not Impossible

So I’m going to cut this short. I’ll include a few photos that will hopefully call in the perspective I seek, and then I’m going to say goodnight. If all goes well, my optimism will return – if not tomorrow, certainly by Tuesday. It never ceases to amaze me how profound an influence my nutrition has on my entire experience of life.

The most important lesson here is remembering and reclaiming what I can control. No, I can’t control a whole heck of a lot that’s going on in the world right now. But I can control what I put into my mouth. And the sooner I see (actually remember, as this is nothing new) that I actually feel better when I’m eating clean and going really easy on the desserts, the better I’ll be able to enjoy creating a new way of life for myself and my family.

And right on cue, the winds are whipping up outside. Facilitating the shift. Getting me back on track.

Change is coming.

Easter Dandelion – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-593)