communication

1st Day of April is Approaching – ND #112

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Potato Dragon – Photo: L. Weikel

1st Day of April is Approaching

Here are a couple of bibs and bobs that are floating around in my head and need to be written down so, collectively, we can remember them. Importantly, the 1st day of April is approaching and – if you choose to participate – we should all be making sure we’re ready for the Perelandra EoP (Essence of Perelandra) Biodiversity Process. For me that mostly means making sure I remind myself of what day it is! I also keep my EoP drops out on my porch, along with a spoon, so I can pop out there in the spur of the moment (in other words – when it pops into my head on the 1st!) and take the two minutes required of me to engage in the process.

It really is quite simple. And yet when I engage in this process, the most profound feeling I get is one of gratitude from the Beings with whom I share our property (both seen and unseen). If I accomplish nothing else through participation in this process than connecting with the Nature Beings and letting them know I’m part of a network of humans who care about the Earth and all who live upon her, then I feel my time and energy is well spent. They notice; and that matters.

That’s why I invite all of you to participate as well. Sometimes we look around and see all the…stuff…going on in the world and we don’t have a single clue as to what we can do about it. This is but one teeny tiny drop in a bucket of maelstroms, but it works on a myriad of levels.

Whimsy

And the other thing I wanted to write about was to remind you to pay attention to your whimsy. Indeed, the name of my Potato Dragon, featured as the lead photo of this post, is Whimsy.

And you have to admit, she is a pretty photogenic little dragon. It felt like a harbinger of great new experiences, opportunities, and people entering my life when I encountered this creature springing forth from a potato this afternoon. And if you look closer, it almost looks like she has a little friend hitching a ride on her back.

Hmm. Maybe I should interpret that as the entrance of Whimsy2 in my life?

Sounds good to me.

It’s spring. Let’s play a little. Talk to the trees. Laugh with the bees. Make friends with potato sprouts.

(T+112)

Ace of Air – Day 1089

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Tonight’s Sunset – Photo: L. Weikel

Ace of Air

I can’t say as I’ve gained much, if any, additional clarity on ‘what’s next’ on my devotional agenda since last night’s selection of the Ace of Air. But when I read the card’s interpretation written by the deck’s creator, I have to smile. While I can’t quite put my finger on it, I feel like my question (“What’s next?”) has been heard and I’ll receive an answer all in good time. As with so many things in life, patience seems to demand its place in the grand scheme of my unfolding.

The keyword (perhaps ‘key phrase’ is more appropriate) for the Ace of Air in the Witches’ Wisdom Tarot* deck is Wind Harp. The addition of the word wind to the concept of the harp alone does add an element of letting sound be carried out across the ethers. Relevant? Perhaps.

Ace of Air – Witches’ Wisdom Tarot* by Phyllis Curott

The rest of the lovely, lyrical interpretation of the card by its author (Phyllis Curott) is as follows:

Ace of Air – Wind Harp

“Wisdom – Air, the first vibration from which everything proceeds into manifestation, the element awakening us to the consciousness of Creation, to infinite connection. Between the bones of what was first created, the winds of summoning stir the strings woven by spiders and filled with stars. A deafening noise roars through, a cosmic chord of sounds piled one upon the other. Together, they are almost music. The swish of a breeze and rustle of leaves, the melody of birdsong and howl of a storm, and all the sounds in between… This is the magic of the Wind Harp. It’s Love.

Essence – Listen, awareness, divine Love. Say what’s in your heart.

Counsel – Air is the element of consciousness, intelligence and intuition, reflection and communication, laughter and music, infinite connection and love. But silence comes first. If you’re talking, you cannot listen. The mind is always confronted with choices, and so it chatters. But don’t rush to action. Slow down. The answer you’re seeking is waiting for you to hear it.

Magic – Go outside on a windy day. Feel the Air on your skin, messing up your hair, singing in your ear. What do you hear? Listen to the love songs the wind sings to you. What is the enchantment of the moment? What is the song in your heart? The spell you long to chant? Give it voice and let the wind carry it into Creation.”

Underneath It All

There is some confirmation in this card, both in what I simply ‘saw’ in the symbolism (and wrote out last night) and the much more poetic expression as offered by the author, for at least one seed I’m quietly nurturing.

And as those of you who’ve watched how I work with cards know, I always like to look at the card that’s ‘underneath’ the one I select as the main card. Unsurprisingly, the one underneath my Ace of Air does have a related ‘feel’ to it. I’ll share that tomorrow.

*affiliate link

(T-22)

Among Us – Day 994

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First Glimpse – Photo: L. Weikel

Among Us

It stands to reason that animals in the wild must be watching us and keeping an eye on our unpredictable movements a lot more often than we realize. They’ve lived among us long enough to know that we’re the dangerous ones. Deer, for instance, have been hunted in our area for untold generations.

Yet deer around here are almost considered pets to some people, while others continue family traditions of hunting and keep their stand-up freezers filled. I imagine it must be confusing for deer. Do they trust these noisy two-leggeds? Or should they bolt, leaping their way to safety?

It’s a decision they make at their own peril.

I think a deep preservation instinct is actually more prevalent in those animals that are a step or two on the wilder side than deer. They’re the ones who only rarely divulge their presence when we’re near them. I’m thinking about the coyotes, foxes, and bears – not to mention owls and eagles.

All Eyes On Me

During my recent walks, though? Oh, my goodness. I’ve been aware of so many pairs of eyes on me! It’s almost felt as though Spartacus and I have been receiving escorts all along our route. Over the past week or so in particular, I can confidently state that I cannot walk more than 100 yards without being able to look carefully around my surroundings and spot a pair of eyes locking with mine.

Just this past week I’ve had at least four extended conversations with young bucks, their budding antlers covered in fur. I could tell by their behavior that they know they’re ‘big boys’ and probably shouldn’t fraternize with the two legged. But it’s my experience that we’re all hard-wired to crave connection and communion.

It’s a delicate balance.

First Glance

Tonight, in spite of the rain that continued to fall sporadically throughout the day, I managed to get in a quick two mile walk. I was surprised to see ‘greeters’ all along the way. I almost felt as though many of them were turning their heads toward me and then gesturing to see if I was still coming along.

A couple seemed to literally play hide and seek with me behind a large tree. That was adorable, but I didn’t manage to get a photo of how ‘off’ they were as far as their body awareness.

Another pair, though, seemed to come into focus for me as I stared at a field I was walking past. As you can see from the photo at the top of this post, one deer was just barely visible to me as I walked past her. I don’t even know what caught my eye, but it did.

She seemed to be torn. Part of her trusted me. And yet…

Coming Into Focus

The second time I raised my iPhone to take her photo, I realized there was another deer standing quite close beside her. Neither one moved a muscle. They knew I saw them, and I knew they knew. As a result, neither they nor I moved a muscle. (What amazes me is what a good boy Spartacus is.)

It felt good for me to discern their presence. In a way it reminded me of looking at one of those engraved photos that reveal other images in them when you look at them long enough.

I may only very rarely catch a glimpse of a coyote or a fox or an owl. But the deer play with me.

While it’s sometimes disconcerting to sense that eyes are on me, watching me, from one moment to the next, I’m mostly comforted by it. I feel as if we humans are mostly woefully oblivious, and my compatriots along our walkway are simply training me to be a better neighbor.

Bingo – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-117)

Just Weird – Day 635

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Opposite of Clarity – Photo: L. Weikel

Just Weird

Am I the only one? I’m having a really hard time focusing. The day today felt surreal; I was never really sure what time it was. Perhaps because the skies grew so dark and foreboding so early in the afternoon, everything felt skewed and off. And normally, I love a good thunderstorm. But the one that struck tonight was in keeping with an entire week that was just weird.

I feel restless and unsettled. Karl and I had a misunderstanding almost first thing this morning that left us screaming in each other’s faces. It was shocking. And utterly hilarious (in retrospect). Sort of. But not really. It was just weird.

I can’t even put my finger on the word that would accurately characterize what exactly happened this morning. Argument isn’t the word – there was no issue upon which we were disagreeing. Hence disagreement, too, fails the test. Misunderstanding is probably the closest I’m going to get.

Opposite of Speaking in Tongues

Having been raised Catholic, studying the bible was not a foundational activity in my youth. That said, I am familiar with the concept of ‘speaking in tongues,’ and have always understood it to mean that when a person in biblical times spoke in tongues, no matter what their background, whoever was listening to the speaker heard the message being spoken in the listener’s native language.

Conceptually, that possibility always appealed to me. I could imagine it happening; pretty easily, in fact. Although I had to wonder how anyone would know it was happening. I figured the only way they’d realize it was happening would be by realizing they were unable to communicate with each other.

So I found it puzzling on the one or two occasions I saw what I guess were considered to be people speaking in tongues that no one could understand the gobbledygook that was issuing from their lips.

That’s not my point here, although I’m wondering if anyone else has had a similar antithetical experience.

My point is that Karl’s and my morning today began with a ‘conversation’ in which we were ostensibly speaking to each other but not communicating a damn thing. It was as if we were speaking in anti-tongues. Or talking under water. No matter how hard we tried, the words just weren’t coming out right. Or maybe they weren’t being heard correctly.

The frustration we both felt resulted in us literally screaming in each other’s faces. It was awful and unsettling and…incendiary. It was profoundly uncharacteristic of both our personalities and our relationship.

It was also just plain weird.

Just Fed Up

After each storming off to lick our wounded egos and reflect upon our justified outrage, it took us about half an hour of fits and starts at reconciliation to come to the conclusion that our explosions toward each other stemmed from our mutual frustration over…everything.

Everything ‘out there’ that we have absolutely no control over. It’s almost as if no one speaks the same language anymore. Everyone speaks their own personal dialect and it seems as if there’s no desire or attempt to understand the perspective or feelings of others anymore.

Karl had been trying to tell me where he’d found himself detoured due to flash flooding. I was trying to visualize where he was talking about. Neither one of us were approaching the scenario from a perspective that permitted communication of anything meaningful. Even this attempt to describe the utter banality of our inability to understand each other feels like a failure.

But I’m trying to capture it because somehow that feels like the point. It feels like what I imagine a lot of us are feeling with respect to a whole range of issues from the slightest (like ours) to the most consequential we can imagine.

We’re totally fine. But I have to say: it was just weird.

Flooding – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-476)

He Just Shows Up – Day 556

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An Exquisite Sunset 20 May 2020 – Photo: L. Weikel

He Just Shows Up

I hope I never take for granted the ways in which Karl continues to reach into my life, metaphorically tapping me on the shoulder or giving me a hug when I need it most. While he is every bit as unpredictable in the afterlife as he was during his life as our son, I have to say – he’s also every bit as tenacious. Indeed, if he has a message to deliver or a situation he feels adamant that needs attention, he will go to great measures to orchestrate circumstances that will enable him to communicate with me – either directly or indirectly. And then, at other times, he just shows up.

For the longest time, especially during the first several months after he died, I didn’t want to hope for any communication from Karl. I was acutely aware of what can happen when those of us left to mourn hang on too tightly to a loved one when they die, especially when the death is sudden or unexpected.

In my work, I’ve had the honor and responsibility to escort souls back to the Source when I discovered them trapped here on Earth. The need for such an intervention is often the result of a death so sudden they don’t realize they’ve passed away, or the person is confused or profoundly fearful of what they might encounter if they allow themselves to ‘move on’ to their next experience. I’ve also experienced situations in which the grief on the part of both the dead and the living is so profound – or wrapped up in a tangle of such complex emotion involving much more than simply ‘love’ – that neither person can move forward until they achieve resolution.

He Was Frustrated Too

There’s no denying that he was actively communicating with me right after his death. But again, I was having an oddly split reaction to it all. On the one hand, I desperately wanted to ask him questions, discover the details, hear his voice, have proof that he – his consciousness – survived the death of his body. And on the other hand, as I said, I was adamant that I not impede his ability to move on. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was hang on to him too tightly.

Knowing what I know, I was certain it would be the furthest thing from impeccable for me to interfere with his evolution. And I was determined that my unconditional love for him and my desire for him to move on to his next set of experiences unimpeded would exceed my mortal, short-term, ego-driven love. The love that balked at being deprived of a parent’s ability to watch their children live their lives, replete with the joys and heartaches living brings.

Only a few months after Karl died, I spent a month in Peru, intensively working through my own grief so I could better support Karl (my husband) and my surviving sons. Karl came through to me both while I was working with the paqos (mountain shamans or medicine people of the high Andes) and with the jungle shamans in the Amazon. He expressed irritation with me that I seemed to be ignoring his attempts to communicate with him. He told me in no uncertain terms that he was frustrated and – knowing this would get me, I suppose – how sad it made him that I seemed to be deliberately refusing to recognize his efforts to communicate and meet him half way.

It’s funny, in retrospect, to realize how successful I was in frustrating my son even after death – simply by trying hard to be the best mother to him that I could; by letting go and doing my best not to hang on.

Startling Appearances

And so, I think in some ways just to get back at me for frustrating the (living?) shit out of him as he tried to communicate with me, he periodically shows up in such startling ways or in such unexpected circumstances that I just have to say, “You got me!”

One such instance was in July of 2017, five and a half years after his death. Karl and I and a few other family members were in Siberia. (You read that right.) We were in the Sayan Mountains and had hiked up to a glacial waterfall where myriad healing waters were accessible. As I made my way to the falls near the very top, I had to step aside to make way for trekkers descending from the falls.

This is what I encountered coming toward me. In Siberia:

Sayan Mountain trail, Siberia (She didn’t speak English) – Photo:L. Weikel

*I hope this photo turns right side up. It is showing up, for me, as sideways and I can’t make it go right side up. But no matter what…you get the picture.

(T-555)

What’s It Going to Take? – Day 161

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Easter Sky, 21 April 2019 –  Photo: L. Weikel

Change is in the Air

Just look at that photo.

That’s a reflection of what I’m feeling inside, this Easter Day.

I can’t say I’m feeling ‘blue skies.’ Or ‘sunshine.’ But I can’t say I’m feeling ‘foggy,’ either, nor would I characterize my internal meteorological state as ‘blue,’ ‘miserable,’ or even ‘torpid.’

If pushed, I’d probably suggest ‘glorious,’ ‘volatile,’ turbulent’ and most definitely ‘changeable.’ Certainly ripe for transformation.

I’m ready. Ready to shake things up. Break out of my rut. Stop being so conventional.

Sensing Karl’s Presence

A few weeks ago, I was feeling the distinct sense that Karl was ‘around.’ Truth be told, his presence had receded to a great extent over the past two years or so. He was much more communicative (in his way) the first five years following his death.

While sad that the messages weren’t coming through to me anywhere near as often, I’ve also felt deeply at peace with it. In fact, I’ve actively refrained from reaching out to him; I want him to be moving on, continuing on his evolutionary path, doing whatever he was called to do ‘next.’ I certainly did not want to be responsible for tethering him in any way to this reality.

So imagine my surprise when he actually arranged for me to either meet in person or have a conversation with three different people (none of whom know each other, one of whom I’d never met before, a second I’ve not seen in person for at least 8 years and only spoken to sporadically, and the third I’d only met twice in my life, the last time being five years ago) all within the span of three weeks.

Three Unexpected – and Unrelated – Messengers

I should note that I did not know any of these women as people who actively communicate with beings on the other side of the veil.

Yet, in each of those conversations, none of which had anything to do with Karl, he ‘broke through’ and made himself and his presence known.

And each one of them gave me essentially the same message, which was Karl provocatively asking, “Mom, what’s it going to take? It’s time.”

Each instance, naturally, has been stunning. Astounding. Completely and totally unexpected. And as each encounter followed the other, the urgency of the core message became harder to escape or dismiss.

The invitation, his hand, is extended. I need only accept.

“There’s work to be done.”

Beam of Light (Breakthrough?), Easter 2019 – Photo: L.Weikel

(T-950)

Magic – Day Thirty One

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 Magic

Once again, if you’d asked me this morning what tonight’s post would be about, ‘magic’ would not have occurred to me, just as ‘trust’ wasn’t on my radar yesterday.

In case you didn’t notice, I was feeling a bit…passionate when I wrote last night’s post. Hard as it may be to believe, I’d actually brought it down a couple notches by the time I wrote the post. (You can imagine what it was like earlier that evening; it wasn’t pretty.) Indeed, I actually think I’ve been suffering from an adrenaline hangover all day today. My body aches and I’ve felt exhausted. Like a wet dishrag, actually. Just wrung the heck out.

Anyway, although Raven (which is associated with ‘Magic’ in the Medicine Cards), was not what I picked on my day this morning, it did end up being chosen by me in another context. And as the day unfolded, I honestly could feel Raven exercising its influence, even after the primary purpose for choosing it had passed. Indeed, I felt it working with the situation about which I was so upset yesterday.

While there are a couple of particularly salient paragraphs I could quote, I’m going to settle for just a few portions:

“If you have chosen Raven, magic is in the air. Do not try to figure it out; you cannot. It is the power of the unknown at work, and something special is about to happen. (…)

It may be time to call Raven as a courier to carry an intention, some healing energy, a thought, or a message. Raven is the patron of smoke signals or spirit messages represented by smoke. (…)

Remember, this magic moment came from the void of darkness, and the challenge is to bring it to light. In doing so you will have honored the magician within.”

Hurt Feelings Abounded

As it turns out, hurt feelings abounded last night, and not just on my end. Out of the darkness of that sense that I had unwittingly uncovered a betrayal from a completely unexpected source, the two of us were able to bring light to the situation.

Reflecting on the heartfelt emails that went back and forth between us today, I can only say that I know for certain both of us encountered magic. The volcanic eruption that occurred yesterday took us both completely by surprise. And yet, because we do have the level of trust that I described as only one tier below that of my inner circle of closest family, we each cared enough to express ourselves with utter vulnerability and honesty.

Need I say how startlingly rare that is in the world?

In the end, I am called upon to trust. I do not need the documentary proof that may or may not exist. I choose to rely on my instincts, and trust. I choose to listen to Raven, and embrace the magic.

Oh – one last thing? Moose was underneath that Raven. Wow.

(T-1080)