Sweet Pleasure

I wore these guys out tonight! – Photo: L. Weikel

I went down a rabbit hole tonight and only realized about ten minutes ago that it was past midnight already. Experiencing this is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I’m annoyed that I got so caught up in what I was doing that I lost track of time. But on the other hand, the experience of diving into an activity and becoming so immersed in it that I lose track of time is a profoundly sweet pleasure.

Having this experience makes me realize just how rare it’s become in my life, and that makes me sad. Of course, I could make different choices and create more opportunities for indulging in such focus. Perhaps I will. But if I’m honest with myself, I probably won’t.

Part of the reason for that is that I don’t live in a vacuum. I live with Karl and we’ve settled into certain routines and ways of coping with how we manage the outside world. We’ve become comfortable in our ruts.

New Choices

Losing myself in the act of learning something new tonight really has me reflecting upon how much our lives have changed over the years. I realize (with some relief, I might add) that I do still have a reasonably decent attention span. I know it’s dwindled to some extent by virtue of all the electronics in my life and the irritatingly addictive dopamine effect of checking for email or ‘breaking news’ or text messages.

But at least I’ve not lost it altogether.

Realizing this, I’m feeling a yearning to reclaim some of my time. Perhaps make some new and different choices on where I place my attention.

I don’t want to mourn the dreams I have yet to fulfill just because I’m unwilling to turn off our television. Perhaps there’s a compromise I can negotiate with myself (and Karl).

Perhaps this whole unexpected conversation with myself is a reflection of something I need to give up at this time of the Virgo full moon. It’s the last full moon of winter. Spring arrives on Sunday.

Seems like a perfect time to make some new choices.

(T+100)