Photo: L. Weikel

You Just Never Know

We’ve all heard the adage that we should never judge another until we’ve walked a mile in their shoes. And of course it’s an adage because it’s a truism, an expression of a common experience. The sticky part of this is that you just never know what shoes another person has worn. Nor do most of us know what anyone’s shoes are made of, where they’ve been, whether they were designed for how they’re worn, or how many times they’ve needed to be resoled.

I happened to have a couple discussions today with some people I care a lot about. Two main conversations took place with individuals who do not know each other, whose paths I don’t believe have crossed. If you were to meet them at a party or in the grocery store, you’d imagine their lives to be ones of relative good fortune. You wouldn’t be wrong in that assessment, and yet your conclusion wouldn’t be entirely accurate, either. Not by a long shot.

Photo: L. Weikel

Details

I’ve listened to the details of a lot of lives over the course of my own, and it never ceases to amaze me just how much some people are asked to endure. Whether the challenges consist of professional surprises that batter and smack them against rocky shores, the utter despair of comforting a child whose physical body seems incapable of finding peace or healing, discovering that the voices of a relationship blow past each other, unheard or misunderstood – most of these issues can be devastating in their singular experience. What’s astounding is realizing that a shocking number of people are, especially now, reeling from the experience of multiple traumas to heart and soul at one time.

We are living amongst the walking wounded. We’re also living amongst the bravest and most courageous of souls.

I imagine every single person reading this post is holding up their end of probably at least two or three deeply troublesome and thorny burdens. Attempting to compare them serves no purpose. The true point is that all around us our friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and loved ones are dealing with ‘stuff’ that threatens to grind us down to emotional nubs.

Different shoes. Some more worn down than others. Some may have lost any semblance of ability to protect the wearer from the road they’re traveling. And yet they – we – carry on.

It seems we’re all being pushed by forces far greater than us to face our challenges. To change if we must. To exercise compassion. To walk beside each other and not compare our struggles but support each on their – and our – own unique path.

Lots of shoes.

Photo: L. Weikel

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