spend it all Archives - Owl Medicine: Shamanic Healing

Yikes

I’ll admit it. I’d planned to write about a completely different topic this evening. In fact, I was all ready to tee it up and write my piece, when I became distracted by the Iowa Caucus results – or rather, lack of results.

As I sit here, the witching hour for hitting <send> on my post is racing toward me much more rapidly than I expected. And the post I want to write will need some reflection, some TLC. I don’t want to rush it.

The possibility is high that I may be overcome by some powerful emotion or another tomorrow night as a result of the State of the Union address. It’s weird to think, but I have no idea how DT will behave tomorrow night as he addresses the joint houses of Congress. And just that thought – that realization that he could let rip in any number of inappropriate and dangerous ways – is enough to tell me that I probably shouldn’t make any plans.

As a result, I just may have to write about what I’m feeling tomorrow night – or else risk losing that in-the-moment reaction thread. And threads – those urges to spend it all – are essential to follow.

Iowa’s Results

Dragging myself back to tonight’s ‘news,’ it is distressing that it is right around midnight and nary a caucus result has been reported. How incredibly frustrating this must be to the candidates – especially the ones who have been tethered to the impeachment trial (using that term exceedingly lightly) – since they’re supposed to already be on their way to New Hampshire now to pave the way for next week’s primary.

And let’s face it, glitches in election results are a touchy subject. Who among us isn’t just a tad worried about the potential for election interference in our upcoming primaries? And even worse is the thought of shenanigans taking place in the general election next November.

So this sudden and unexpected glitch in receiving the results of the Iowa Caucus is in a weird way sort of traumatizing us. Even if we hadn’t been feeling vote-insecure, we much more likely to be feeling that now. It’s hard not to allow our minds to race to next November, when so very much will be at stake.

The Rest of This Week

Obviously, this is a momentous week. The Iowa Caucus today, the SOTU tomorrow, and then the final vote on DT’s removal from office on Wednesday. Even if everyone thinks it’s a foregone conclusion, a girl can hope.

Yikes. Who knows what else could spring up this week, simply…because. Because we’re in the midst of the Chaos Presidency.

* I took this photo on our walk today. It’s important to realize that today is only the 3rd day of February. These are coming up entirely too early. Yet another reason to say, “Yikes.”

(T-662)

Reaching out.
Photo by Lisa Weikel

Well, you know what they say about our “best laid plans…”

Yeah. It’s 10:00 p.m. and I only just got home half an hour ago.

I’m going to try to “bang this out,” so to speak, because I refuse to drop the ball only one day into my 1111 Devotion blogging extravaganza. Regrettably, though, I probably won’t tell anywhere near as interesting a story as I’d have liked. But I did give fair warning in my initial post: I knew there would be days when I would be lucky if I posted even a handful of sentences.

Trust me, though. I didn’t think I’d have to count on that luck only one day into the commitment!

Instead of using today’s blog post to explain the significance of my Dolphin reversed/Jaguar “pick” on Sunday (11/11), which I took as one of the confirmations that I was on the right track in deciding to engage in this 1111 Devotion, I’m instead going to let you in on a tiny dilemma I’m facing, which I find sort of intriguing.

As a writer, I’ve read a ton of enthusiastic and sometimes passionate books on writing, writing “practice,” routines, suggestions, strategies, and tactics designed to enhance one’s creativity. One of the tactics I’ve danced with (since “struggle” is a bit too intense), is the idea that when one sits down to write, when a writer sets aside time to work on a project or even just engage in a timed writing exercise to warm up the creative muscles and get those juices flowing, it is essential that we spend it all. Don’t hold back, it’s recommended. Spend it; play it; run the idea out to its conclusion. Don’t save any of your words for another time. Never hoard your ideas!

Well, I must confess, I do hoard my words. I have hoarded my experiences. Not my experiences, actually, but rather my expression and sharing of them. And I want to change that. I yearn to lay it all out there and let people know how I ended up doing what I do and why.

So yesterday, when I was writing my initial post, I desperately wanted to tell the whole story of all the different nudges I’d received on Sunday that added up to me deciding to actually commit to this crazy idea of 1111 Devotion. Because there were a number of things I took as “signs” and, added together, I couldn’t deny their message.

But then I sat back in my moss colored wing chair, adjusted my laptop as it perched on the pillow on my lap (yes, such a fancy writing station) and realized, “Good Goddess! I have 1110 more blog posts to write! I’m not going to spill all the beans all at once! Heck, writing out all the signs will buy me at least three more posts.” (Ha ha. Three more posts.)

Suddenly, there I was – right out of the box – feeling the lure of “parsing out” challenge the advice to spend fully.

And then today’s session went long and I didn’t get home for over 12 hours (with the commute), and I realized I might blow my vast one day streak of writing this blog, if I held myself to a commitment to saying it all. Especially if I write about the signs, which were neat, but which will take me longer than this to write out.

So you’re stuck with this. Day Two: I managed to post two days in a row. I didn’t listen to the experts and spend it all; but I didn’t hoard my words, or my feelings, either.

Maybe my inclination for parsing will serve me as I barrel toward blog post #3, tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.