We keep thinking we’ve reached our limit. Maybe I should speak for myself. I keep thinking we’ve reached our limit. In this season in which we’re encouraged to withdraw into the comfort and warmth of our homes and the company of our nearest and dearest, surely we’ll be given a reprieve. Surely we’ll receive a moment to catch our breath, a few days of calm and quiet reflection when we can simply allow ourselves to be.
2020 has been a year beyond measure. We’ve endured twelve months that have included at least four separate monumental societal events that each could have separately defined an era, much less a year. And yet here we are again.
The year we are bringing to a conclusion right now is merely the capstone to a four year period that has tested our mettle and forced us, time and time again, to trust. Trust in the rule of law. Trust in the integrity of those called to serve in the highest places of power within our government. Trust in the inherent goodness of people called to public service. Trust in the wisdom of our fellow Americans to use their power wisely and restore integrity and justice for all of us – but especially those most vulnerable among us.
Trust
I think that’s what’s been the hardest part about not only 2020 itself, but also this entire past four years. Our trust has sustained a mortal wound.
The question is whether we can come back from the brink of despair and heal ourselves and each other.
It’s funny. With the arrival of the solstice yesterday, I was reflecting upon how I spent the solstice last year. It was a far cry from a magical appearance of the Star of Bethlehem, as I experienced yesterday.
Instead, it was the beginning of a series of betrayals that broke my trust in several people I never expected would act in such a way.
But I guess that’s what we’ve all been learning this year, is it not? Who would ever have believed the extent of the breach of trust that all of us have sustained this past year, ranging from the President right down to our nearest and dearest, including those we see at the grocery store or go to church with on Sunday.
It’s something we all need to just stop, catch our breath, and have a good think about. Because this is unsustainable.
Right now, as I write this post, the ‘ring of fire’ solar eclipse (so called because it is an annular eclipse, meaning the moon coming between the Earth and the sun does not entirely block out our view of the sun’s rays) has begun. It officially began at 11:45 p.m. EDT this evening, will reach its totality (thereby creating the ‘ring of fire’ where visible) at 2:40 a.m. EDT on Sunday the 21st, and will conclude at 5:24 a.m. EDT.
In case you are one of those people who awaken shortly after I’ve gone to bed, here is a site where you can track the eclipse online. One of the places on the Earth where the ring of fire will be visible is in the Himalayas. Just the thought of witnessing this eclipse in the rarefied air of Tibet or anywhere along the track of the eclipse, especially high in those massive apus (sacred mountains), thrills me.
I’m definitely starting to feel the siren song of faraway travel calling to me again.
Happy Solstice
This solstice had an auspicious start for me this morning. I listened to and joined in on a solstice ceremony with one of my favorite and beloved paqos (Medicine Man/Shaman in the Q’ero tradition of the high Andes), Puma Fredy Quispe Singona. The heart in his teachings is undeniable and palpable.
I encourage you to watch the recording, which I’ve linked to, above.
This evening, Karl and I sat on our porch in candlelight, the western sky still streaked with hints of sunlight following the powerful thunderstorms that barreled through an hour earlier. We took to heart Puma’s reminder that today, Saturday, June 20, 2020, was the last day of our ‘old life.’
We opened Sacred Space.
Sitting in the waning light of this waning Time, we each made a list of those ways of being or thinking that we’re ready to leave behind. Of course, this is a timeless practice, as we are always growing and learning, accumulating lessons – some more painful than others – and experiencing the lessons that come with living a life on Mother Earth. In other words, it’s the rare person indeed who finds they have nothing to release in ceremony.
After completing our lists, we took turns offering these lists to our solstice fire, holding space for each other as made our offering and cleansed our mesas.
Tomorrow is the Dawn of a New Day
I know that during this time we are in alignment with the Galactic Center of our universe. As the eclipse takes place, the moon’s blocking of the light of the sun enables other energies to have more of an impact upon us. Some might consider us more open or receptive to downloads of celestial blessings or upshifts in our energy.
As we both ‘cleansed our palates’ this evening of the taste of old energies, lessons, hurts, and beliefs that were holding us back or weighing us down, we also each wrote a list of those attributes we seek to bring more of into our lives. Feelings, aspirations, ways of being that we want to cultivate not only in our own selves, but also in our interactions with family, friends, colleagues, and beyond.
We tucked these lists of higher vibration into our mesas. Doing so is not unlike placing them under our pillows and dreaming them into being – although I might argue working with our mesas is even more effective and intimate.
It’s not too late to set your intentions for this New Time. Take 5 minutes, or 15. Do it now. You won’t regret it.
Am I the only one, or are any of you finding yourselves in mid thought suddenly thinking, “Wait. What day is it today? I mean, what month is it?”
Life is coming at us so intensely, and situations are changing so rapidly, that the analogy of trying to digest each day’s events being akin to drinking water out of a fire hose is not hyperbolic. It’s our reality.
Reality Check
Reality check? It’s been 19 days since the House of Representatives voted to impeach the president. Not even three weeks have gone by.
And what do we have to show for it? A situation in the Middle East that has incited hundreds of thousands of Iranians to rally in stunningly powerful demonstrations of grief, outrage, unity, and determination in cities throughout their country (and elsewhere). This is not a situation easily (or wisely) downplayed, dismissed, or ignored. And yet…will any of us be surprised if yet another completely separate, yet stunning, revelation is revealed tomorrow?
Taking our ‘walkabout’ route tonight (the 4 mile path), Karl and had a weird moment of conversation when we spontaneously found it hard to recall what month we’re in. The weather today and this evening was peaceful and mild – not necessarily what’s expected in early January. And the schism in time appreciation was exacerbated by the actual holiday days having occurred on Wednesday last week (and the week before), creating an odd if welcome sense of never ending impending weekends.
Indeed, it feels like there’s been a sort of time warpish confusion of days, months, and even seasons since, well, since the solstice occurred on Saturday, the 21stof December.
It’s All Energy
I was taught over thirty years ago that the vibration of the planet (and hence all of us, as well) experiences an uptick at each solstice and equinox. The beginning of each quarter of Mother Earth’s journey around the sun is a seminal, predictable moment of acceleration in our evolution; a quickening, of sorts.
And as our energies speed up, things necessarily change. Those aspects of our lives that cannot hold the increase in our vibration spin off. There’s both evolution and devolution. It’s not as if we all increase at the same rate. And it’s not as if all can sustain the increase to their vibrational reality. I don’t profess to know why every creature and being’s experience is different.
But it is fascinating to observe what’s going on around us with at least some sense of awareness that this seasonal energetic shift could be playing a part in both our collective and personal experiences.
And then there are the planetary aspects to consider as well.
It’s a lot. We are undergoing huge shifts of tectonic magnitude to our perceived realities.
But we’re in it together. Keep holding your center; holding space for ourselves and each other.
I had quite an unexpected and emotionally fraught ‘moment’ in a grocery store parking lot today. Nothing like celebrating the Winter Solstice with intensity, I say.
I was checking my text messages and emails before running in for a few items, when all of a sudden a grocery cart rammed into my car door. The loud whomp, which physically jarred me and felt like it surely had dented the entire side of my car, scared the heck out of me. Then, in an eye-blink, that fear turned to rage.
I jumped out of my car (there were two empty handicapped spaces to my left, and beyond those, the driving lanes and then the market itself) furiously looking for the culprit who’d carelessly sent the cart careening into my vehicle. Let me note here: I’m expressing how I felt, which might generously be called…hyperbolic?
Anyway, as I say, I jumped out of my car looking for my transgressor. The only person I saw anywhere near me was an older man who had parked his car facing mine, but one space to my left. His car was pulled up to a handicapped-only parking sign which was affixed to a substantial metal pole about 4” in diameter and 4’ high. I glimpsed him as he was folding himself into his driver’s seat.
Assessment of the Situation Made
I immediately surmised that he’d shoved his cart into the space in front of his car (and beside mine), perhaps thinking it might get hung up or wedged in place by the parking sign pole, obviously not thinking twice about the consequences. I assumed the worst.
I knew he’d heard the cart smack into my door. It created a very loud bang. And the way he was getting into his car, he just looked guilty to me. Like he was avoiding making eye contact.
With barely a thought, other than a consuming wave of indignation and the sense that I was not going to just pretend it hadn’t happened, I grabbed the cart and looking directly at that man, who by this time was sitting in the driver’s seat and looking at me through his windshield, shouted how ignorant that was. “What the hell? What is wrong with you that you think it’s OK to do that?” I yelled, not really looking for an answer. I slammed the cart into the parking sign post in front of him. While I was tempted in my fury to smack it into his car, I didn’t. Obviously.
I could see him yelling – or at least mouthing – something back at me, but his angry face made me not want to get into this any further. So I sat back in my car and tried to decide whether I just wanted to leave or whether I would fulfill my marketing mission. I decided to go in.
Moving On
Watching him out of the corner of my eye, I deliberately took the cart from where it still stood ‘parked’ against the post and walked across the lanes of the parking lot and into the store. I noticed he was still sitting in his car, looking down, perhaps texting someone himself? I didn’t trust him…
Entering the store, I snagged my hot peppers (which in retrospect I probably didn’t need!) and onions and returned to my car. A quick trip.
Nevertheless, I thought it odd that he was still in the parking lot. Was he going to confront me? Ugh.
I left the offending cart up with the other carts beside the entrance to the market and returned to my car. Feeling a little stalked, I glanced toward the man with a dirty look, warding off any bullshit. No luck. He opened his door and started yelling at me.
Confrontation
I’d already started getting into my car when he started yelling, so I tossed my veggies into the passenger seat and stood up, turning toward him. All I heard was, “…your fucking car…”
“Excuse me?” I said, dripping snark and attitude, but trying to be the calm one (now).
“Did you think I pushed that cart into your car?” he demanded.
I turned to look at him square in the eyes and said quietly, “Well, yes, I did.”
He looked a little surprised, perhaps that I answered quietly? I don’t know. But he responded, still defensively and a bit aggressively himself, “Well, I didn’t. I heard it hit your door and – ”
“I am really sorry,” I said, interrupting him. There was something about the way he said what he said or the look on his face or something, but I immediately believed him. And I immediately and unequivocally felt ashamed. I felt awful.
A Total Shift in Energy and Attitude
Absolutely everything about this man’s energy shifted right before my eyes. I could tell he believed me, too, and trusted my sincerity.
“Yes,” I continued, “I assumed you’d done it because you were the only person anywhere around when I jumped out to grab the cart.”
By this time, I’d walked over to his car, where he had the door slightly open and his window down, his left hand resting on the bottom of the window frame.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I returned my little cart over there,” gesturing to the cart return coral in the row across from and behind his car, “and was just getting into my car when I heard that one slam into your door.”
“I am so terribly sorry,” I repeated, touching his hand. “I was a jerk. I really was. I think the bang of it startled me so much that I over-reacted, and then I just assumed you hadn’t cared because my car is old…”
“No, I didn’t do it,” he repeated, probably just confirming out loud one more time what he’d been saying to himself the whole time I was in the market. “But thank you for speaking to me.”
“Thank you, too,” I said. “Again, I’m really sorry.” I looked him in the eyes and smiled. “I hope you have a really nice holiday and I’m glad we cleared this up.”
“Me too,” he said, smiling back.
Reflection – and Gratitude
As I drove away from that incident I contemplated how the entire situation had completely transformed in a way I never would have expected.
I’m so grateful it did. I have no idea what that man was thinking or experiencing. Perhaps he is lonely, or grieving. Perhaps he is facing a dire diagnosis – or someone he loves was just taken from him.
I thought about the compassion of yesterday and how quick I was to anger today. (Which, I have to say, was really weird in and of itself. I am not one to usually react like that.) It made me realize just how little we know about how anyone, at any given moment, is perceiving something that we, too, are experiencing. And how easily it is to misunderstand – or be misunderstood.
I’m so grateful this gentleman and I were able to transmute that moment of darkness and turn it into light.
An intense solstice experience indeed – probably exacerbated by the full moon!
During the Mid Winter Wind, I will be participating in the IAM Winter Solstice Symposium with host, Renee Baribeau, author of the recently published Winds of Spirit. The event will begin on December 20th with an opening Fire Ceremony, followed by interviews with 17 Women Wisdom Keepers – plus yours truly. The theme this year is “Rituals for Navigating Turbulent Winds while Aligning to your Winter Cycle.” Find support and nourishment as we navigate the holiday season and ring in a New Year together.
Call for Fire Tenders
We are looking for Volunteers for this event! Specifically FIRE TENDERS who will keep a flame burning during the I AM Winter Solstice online celebration from December 20th to January 1st.
During the Event: Light a Candle or Fire, Visualize a Purple Flame, or keep a Light Burning for the Event from 12/20 through 1/1. You can say a daily prayer in lieu of a flame on the days you are traveling. Do what works best for you.
I know that some of you participated as Firekeepers last year, and personally shared how much you enjoyed the sense of community you experienced by maintaining that personal focus and – dare I say it, devotion to the Winter Solstice spirit.
This is your opportunity to embrace and support 18 fellow Wisdom Keepers in your own unique and personal fashion.
The only other requirement to becoming a FIRE TENDER, other than maintaining the flame of your choosing, is that you join the Wind Clan if you are not already a member and opt-in here to receive all the interview recordings for FREE.
If you have any questions, please reach out to renee@thepracticalshaman.com.
