sacrifice

Thistle – Day 1015

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Baby Bud and Mommy Thistle – Photo: L. Weikel

Thistle

I didn’t get a chance to walk yesterday. We went to the powwow and by the time we got home, a walk simply wasn’t going to happen. So I was determined to log some miles today. In fact, I walked both the long and the short routes (walk about and walk around). And the upshot of both was that thistle was demanding my attention.

If I’d known I was going to write about it this evening, I would’ve taken even more photos of this phenomenal beauty. Thistle is blooming in most fields and along the roadside all along both of my usual circuits. The stunning lavender-leaning-toward-pink blossoms kept grabbing my attention the entire afternoon.

Spiny, almost weapon-like leaves appear on some of the plants, appearing like fireworks splaying out in a manner that yells, “Get back!” And yet other plants seem to shyly downplay those very same needle-like weapons, toning them down and making a point of calling all our attention to each stage of their floral explosion.

Something to Think About

Most times when something, be it flora or fauna, persistently insists on catching my attention, I take it to mean that it’s bringing me a message of some sort. I honestly didn’t feel that today.

Every time I took one of the photos that are accompanying this post, I had a conversation with the plant itself, thanking it for sharing its particularly lovely self with me today. It almost felt like the Spirit of Thistle was showing me herself in every aspect of her blossoming, encouraging me to appreciate each stage for its particular loveliness.

When I realized I was getting the nudge to share these photos tonight, I wondered if perhaps the Spirit of Thistle wanted to reach out and speak with one of you. It’s possible some of you aren’t getting outside enough or frequenting venues where Thistle can get your attention, and this is a way to get the message across. I’m not saying the attributes of Thistle don’t have application in my life. I’m just saying they don’t feel as personal to me as many other ‘messages’ I receive on my walks.

Teenager Thistle – Knows it all; Photo: L.Weikel

Keynote

In checking with Nature Speak* by Ted Andrews, I discovered that Thistle’s keynotes are ‘keep a sense of pride; and protect yourself against criticisms of others.’ In reading the actual discussion of the plant, I got a sense that Thistle is best known and most respected as an aid to the function of our liver. It sounds as though Thistle can be used to both cleanse and tone one’s liver. (Again, as I mentioned in this post, always use the utmost care when working with the medicinal qualities herbs. They are every bit as potent as prescription medications and should not be used carelessly or cavalierly. Ideally, you should seek the input of a trained herbalist.)

Our liver does a ton of work inside our body, cleansing our blood and helping us eliminate toxins. The toxins it confronts are not always on the physical level, either. Our liver can suffer from exhaustion or toxicity from prolonged exposure to anger, rage, criticism, and other ‘negative’ emotions. It stands to reason that sometimes our liver needs a rest, a chance to catch its breath (metaphorically) and recover its mojo. Thistle can help with that.

Scottish Connection

Thistle is the national flower of Scotland. It’s said that a Danish marauder was trying to sneak up on a Scottish camp and stepped on a thistle, causing him to shriek out in pain. This served to warn the Scots that an attack was imminent and permitted them to defend themselves appropriately.

It’s plausible that Thistle’s appearance in our life is suggesting that we may need to protect ourselves. It may be appropriate at this time to express our upset at the way we’re being treated by others.

It occurs to me that we’re hearing a lot about how so many people are in each other’s faces about this, that, and the other thing, but primarily (lately) about masks, vaccinations, and our responsibilities to ourselves and each other. From my observation, the most vociferous declarations seem to be made by those who feel they owe no one any deference; that the only righteous concern is adherence to their own beliefs and choices for themselves.

Maybe It’s Not OK

Crone Thistles – They’ve seen it all; Photo: L.Weikel

I’m wondering if perhaps Thistle is suggesting that it’s ok to stand up for the collective. It’s ok for people to express some of the anger they’ve been swallowing. Many have patiently waited for those demanding respect for their personal space and ‘freedom’ to realize there are other people sharing this planet with them, and sometimes we have to do uncomfortable things or sacrifice a bit for the benefit of us all.

And when the hoped-for epiphany regarding generosity of spirit and sacrifice never arrives? Maybe it’s time to express some righteous anger. Perhaps in as beautiful a manner as possible, but express it nonetheless (before it poisons us all).

*affiliate link

(T-96)

Discomfort and Wariness – Day 946

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Ray of Light – Photo: L. Weikel

Discomfort and Wariness

I just experienced something oddly unexpected. Only a few minutes ago, I turned on the tv and changed the channel to one of my favorite news programs. It only took a few moments before I sensed this weird feeling in myself – a discomfort and wariness. Echoing in the back of my mind I heard myself asking no one out loud, “What’s off here? Why does this feel weird?”

Believe it or not, it actually took me a minute or two to figure out just what was distracting me. Maybe it’s the audio, I thought. Yeah, that was a possibility. But nah, it didn’t feel like it was simply a microphone issue. Huh. What could it be? And that’s when the camera panned out.

I think I may have literally recoiled (if only slightly). But there was the host sitting uncomfortably close to his guest, asking her questions and even laughing out loud to something she remarked upon. I think it was the guffaw that appalled me most. Good grief, he didn’t even cover his mouth when he laughed.

It felt wrong.

Things Change

Apparently, though, this is our evolved state. We’re back to in-person interviewing.

I think I’m genuinely surprised by my reaction to the resumption of face-to-face interactions. While it seems super that it’s permitted, I just don’t know.

Call me wary, but I’m sensing that the sounding of the ‘all clear’ horn is a bit premature. While I realize everyone’s clamoring to get ‘back to normal,’ I’m not thrilled about the idea of the Delta variant, which I’m pretty sure is the one that’s ripped through India and has caused new cases to skyrocket in Great Britain. Why risk playing around with this?

Is it a lot to ask ourselves to keep our masks on when we’re in public places? It just feels unnecessarily cavalier to tool around maskless when we have no idea how vulnerable any of us really is when it comes to spreading or catching the variant.

A Matter of Trust

It’s sad to me that my intuition sounds the alarm when I walk into the grocery store and see people maskless. It does, though. This is especially true when I see the sign on the door advising that masks are required for all people who’ve not been vaccinated.

Well. That pretty much dangles a carrot in front of those who choose not to be vaccinated, doesn’t it? What’s to stop a person who doesn’t believe in vaccinations (nor in social distancing) from simply doing whatever they want? The state of public life at this point asks people to self-regulate. Which means anyone can do whatever they want, and we all need to ‘just trust’ each other.

Looks Askance

Upon reflection, I realize I was actually getting some looks when I stopped at the grocery store today. I had a mask on. It’s unobtrusive. But I actually sensed people looking at my mask today, and either drawing conclusions or wondering about me, which was not my experience until now.

Were they wondering if I’d been vaccinated? Did they wonder if I was sick? Were they thinking I was just some smug ‘liberal’ trying to push my agenda on them? (My mask did say ‘Love’ – which might be considered a ‘tell.’) All of a sudden I felt like there was a lot more judgment swirling around the grocery store aisles than I’d ever felt before.

All of this jubilant ‘return to normal’ feels a bit premature. I worry about the people with health issues – or have loved ones at home who are at risk. And it makes me sad that I’ve come to the conclusion that trusting my fellow citizens to simply wear a mask if they choose not to get vaccinated is a bridge too far.

Clouds of Discomfort and Wariness – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-165)

Just Gross – Day 746

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Photo: L. Weikel

Just Gross

I just logged onto my laptop to write tonight’s post and was met with something that’s just gross. Call me a prude, call me old-fashioned, but I was disgusted when my computer’s calendar popped up a notification alerting me to the fact that tomorrow is Black Friday.

Really?

Black Friday gets as much of a calendrical shout out as, say, Memorial Day? New Year’s Day? Or dare I say Thanksgiving?

Why in the world would this even be something marked on anyone’s calendar? It’s not a day of honoring, celebration, reverence, seasonal significance, or even religious observation. It’s simply a day of mass consumerism.

Breaking Even

Yes, I know the importance of Black Friday is that it is a day where people go out and purchase stuff in such a massive frenzy that the dollars spent cause retailers’ balance sheets to not only break even but go from being ‘in the red’ to ‘in the black.’ Therefore, it’s a day of huge importance to purveyors of goods, mostly – although those who sell their services also get in on the scramble.

I’ll confess: I’m not a big shopper to begin with. But this year, especially, the whole concept of Black Friday feels utterly icky. I can only hope against hope that we’re spared videos or photos of people clambering cheek to jowl for the chance to barge into stores for bargains. They’re disheartening to witness any year – but now? In the year of Our Dear Lord Please Don’t Let It Get Any Worse 2020? It makes me want to take a hot soapy shower just thinking about it.

It also makes me want to cry.

From Today to Tomorrow

How do we manage to internally shift gears from spending today feeling grateful for the people and circumstances in our lives, great and small, that make life worth living – and feeling responsible to express that gratitude and love by remaining away and separated from those we love and cherish – to spending the next day potentially exposing ourselves and each other to a deadly virus just to buy stuff?

Kind of ironic, all that ‘spending.’

Maybe my cynicism is unwarranted. Perhaps we’ll all be pleasantly shocked tomorrow evening by the dearth of evidence that people threw public health and caring for friends, neighbors, and loved ones (not to mention themselves) to the wind in service to their need to acquire stuff.

I’m not in any way suggesting that if Black Friday is your day to spend lots of money and help shopkeepers breathe a sigh of relief that you should refrain from doing so. I’m only hoping you’ll do it remotely, or at the very least intelligently and compassionately. If we don’t take care of ourselves and each other, next year there will be significantly fewer of us around to buy a damn thing.

Let’s carry forward our gratitude and appreciation for each other. Stay home; spend money online, and if you have to go out, wear masks and stay far away from each other. Short term hassle, long term health and life and the opportunity to spend another day – and hopefully many more – spending.

(T-365)

An Old Refrain – Day 737

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Waxing New Moon – Photo: L. Weikel

An Old Refrain

Whoosh, what a blast of chilliness blew into our area last night! While I haven’t seen or felt any yet myself, a coating of flurries was due to arrive sometime this evening. And in spite of an urge on both Karl’s and my part urging us to forego bundling up and venturing out, we pushed through. We did it, and it was the highlight of our evening. Hence, I’m launching into an old refrain: when you’re feeling glum or defeated or overwhelmed with the state of the world, take a walk.

Yes, the air was crisp. Tonight was the first time this season we had to bundle up and break out our neck gators. Aaaah – made of Turtle Fur, I must admit, I adore how soft and warm they are. They make all the difference when contemplating braving the elements. Keeping your neck warm is essential.

The Real Good Stuff

But enough of my late fall dressing tips. What was really important for us over the past two nights of walking was the gloriousness of the night sky. First, the sliver of a moon last night, which became noticeably larger and brighter crescent in the passage of just one evening.

As you can see, I managed a lovely shot of that tiniest of new moons last night – dangling enticingly in the burnt orange sky.

While tonight, although she was dramatically brighter and a noticeably more pronounced waxing crescent, I couldn’t for the life of me get a good shot of her. I did try; and I could share them with you. But nah. They didn’t do her justice.

Vast Beauty of the Night – Photo: L. Weikel

Starry Cloudy Night

So I turned my attention away from the setting moon and onto the clouds parting directly above, revealing a thick blanket of glitterati.

I’ll confess: Karl and I had both been in a bit of a foul mood as we cajoled each other into taking our evening constitutional. It’s helpful, as always, when Spartacus gets wind that we’re “going to take a walk-y.” His enthusiasm is sometimes the only thing that drags or guilts us into setting out – especially when it starts getting cold out.

But we did tonight. Thank goodness.

The spiraling crisis of the pandemic as it starts to devastate the Midwest and Southwest, as it starts to raise its ugly head again here on the East coast, is sobering. If we’re paying attention, we can see the irrefutable proof that gathering with anyone beyond our own household for Thanksgiving or the Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza holidays (not to mention New Years) could result in rampant community spread, hospitalization, and potential death.

We walked. We reveled in the recollection and appreciation of just how precious our lives are in this moment. Gazing upon the growing young moon and boundless stars has that effect on most of us. But it’s easy to forget. It’s easy to talk ourselves into staying home, hunkering down, and ducking for cover.

But I promise you. There’s still plenty of time to cuddle and cocoon upon your return. But there’s no substitute for a dip into the vastness of Mother Nature to remind us that life is fleeting. It’s healthy to expand our horizons and remember just how precious these moments are.

Starry Cloudy Night – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-374)

Sacrifice – Day 621

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CSA Flowers – Photo: L. Weikel

Sacrifice

So far, I’ve been extraordinarily lucky not to have been asked to sacrifice a great deal as a result of the pandemic.

I’m grateful that no one in my family has been hit with the virus (yet), although I have had a few friends contract it. Thankfully, there have been no hospitalizations (yet).

Part of the ‘luck’ I feel Karl and I are experiencing is a direct result of our ability to aggressively keep to ourselves. Both of us are able to continue our work from home. Yes, even my work – which I suppose might be an interesting blog post in itself.

A key to a lot of that aggressive isolation is continuing the protocols we began back in March, even though our state began ‘opening up,’ albeit carefully, a few weeks ago.

Discovering What’s Necessary

Karl and I discovered in those early months of the pandemic that we really don’t need to run around anywhere near as much as we used to. Indeed, we’ve begun admitting to ourselves and each other that a not insubstantial portion of our hopping in the car was related to procrastination.

Needless to say, we’ve both stealthily acquired and honed a few new procrastination techniques – but I can confidently assure you, they do not involve our cars. So that’s a win/win in my book.

We’ve also realized just how little we actually need of anything other than food. And books. Of course, how could I forget books.

A Revelation

So it was a revelation to me today to witness just how thrown I was by my decision not to travel to Connecticut to participate in my eldest sister’s 80th birthday.

Damn. 80. That just doesn’t seem possible. If you were to meet her, you’d never think she was 80. She still works, even, twice a week, in a museum gift shop. And I’m grateful she can do that – I have no doubt it keeps her sharp and provides for essential human contact which keeps her young at heart, in mind and spirit.

Which leads me to my feeling of having sacrificed today in a meaningful way. It’s not been a sacrifice for me to ‘hard quarantine.’ It’s been annoying at times, and inconvenient. But having to actively say ‘no’ to myself and restrain myself from jumping in the car and heading north to Connecticut to celebrate Jane’s huge milestone was huge for me. And weighed heavily on my heart.

A Strategy

Indeed, I scheduled a session with a client for this afternoon precisely because I knew I’d be tempted at the last minute to ‘be there’ for her – and to see her kids, my nieces and nephews. But I knew I wouldn’t cancel with a client; that’s sacred. And I felt the wisdom of the foresight of that strategy, believe me. Instead of licking my wounds and second-guessing myself, or worse – feeling sorry for myself – I focused on the needs of my client.

Another win/win.

Saying ‘no’ to myself and refusing to allow myself to go to Jane’s party felt like a true sacrifice. I did it, though, because I want Jane to live to see more birthdays in her 80s (and beyond, Goddess willing). And since who knows whether Karl and I might be asymptomatic carriers, I could not and would not risk attending. And that goes for my nieces and nephews and their kids.

I want our family’s clean record to remain unbroken. And for that, I was willing to sacrifice.

Love you, Jane. Happy birthday!

Photo: L. Weikel

(T-490)

A Tragic Blur – Day 502

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A Blur of Green – Photo: L. Weikel

A Tragic Blur

It’s becoming a tragic blur. Every day we’re hearing about more and more people losing their lives to the Coronavirus pandemic that’s exploding in our country. I’m sure this is just the tip of the iceberg, and two weeks from now (April 10th– it’s a date) we’ll wish we were only experiencing the rate of positive tests and deaths we’re reporting and lamenting today. Today’s anguish will seem ‘aspirational’ to our future selves.

If you stay off social media and refuse to turn on your tv or radio, it’s easy to both be a responsible citizen, practicing social distancing and remaining in the orbit of your home, and lose complete track of the insanity unfolding in hospitals all over the country, but especially in New York City. The nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, and emergency personnel of all stripes who are operating in overdrive, attempting to meet the tidal wave of need that’s overcoming our cities, are operating within that tragic blur. All they see are people in fear and distress, unable to breathe, desperate for care and compassion.

No filter – Photo: L. Weikel

Guilt of Relative Ease

And here I am, ostensibly doing my best to ‘flatten the curve’ and keep our local hospitals from suffering the same fate as New York’s and becoming inundated with new Covid-19 patients. My sacrifice – if you can even call it that, which I for one honestly cannot in good conscience do – is to refrain from going anywhere other than the grocery store or the pharmacy (to neither of which places I’ve gone in a week). Hardly a sacrifice.

No, I can’t sit in the same room with my son and daughter-in-law, or give them a hug when they appear at our door bearing gifts of pizza and pierogies. But they’re not sick and neither are we. And I want it to stay that way. If not touching or sitting in the same room as them for a couple of weeks or months will do the trick? I’m all for it.

Compared to the horrors of the hospitals? There is none.

Treasure the Little Things

So in honor of those who are in the trenches, in honor of the people who are working slavishly day in and day out trying to save as many lives as possible without having the right equipment or survival mechanisms at their disposal, I try to treasure the little things.

In honor of those who are tragically losing their lives every day, I am trying to appreciate the beauty that surrounds this place where I am forced to stay for not only my own good, but the good of my family, community, county, and state.

What do I see when I pay exquisite attention?

Beauty. Innocence. Magnificence. Agelessness.

And that quality I always seem to come back to no matter how hard I try to focus my attention elsewhere: love.

Photo: L. Weikel

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