retreat

Ten of Swords – Day 1010

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Ten of Swords – The Naked Heart Tarot* by Jillian C. Wilde

Ten of Swords

I get the feeling that we keep thinking we’ve been through the worst of it. Or maybe more accurately, we keep hoping we’ve made it through the worst of it. But by all appearances, that might not be the case. And it’s hard to avoid knowing what’s going on in the world, or avoiding the way it seems to be falling apart at the seams. So when I asked for a bit of additional guidance tor us this week to supplement our visit by the Hermit a few days ago, I chose from The Naked Heart Tarot*. And I chose the 10 of Swords. (Sort of appropriate, given the number of my post!)

I’m wondering if you had the same reaction I did when I first laid eyes on this card. “Whoa!” I said out loud, causing Tigger to lift his sleepy head off his paws and give me a look. I returned his gaze, showed him the card, and said, “Do I really want this to share this message with everybody? It looks like how I feel – and probably captures how many others feel – but yikes. It’s dark.”

It’s true, too. I’m roughly familiar with the ‘traditional’ meanings of most of the cards in the tarot, and the message does seem to be a confirmation of how I feel. But I judged it and found myself wanting something more optimistic.

The problem is, I asked for guidance. It would lack integrity to pick and choose which message to share and which to not.

Ten of Swords

The image is uniquely distressing, I admit. And yet the message – particularly as expressed by the creator of The Naked Heart Tarot* deck, Jillian C. Wilde – does admittedly feel perfect for us to bear in mind over the next few days (or weeks).

The keywords she ascribes are Resolve and Release. Right on so far.

“The rat lies on its side as ten swords are driven down from above piercing its spirit, hinting that the end is near.

The Message. The Ten of Swords represents a time of completion when a much-needed ending to a conversation, idea or discussion is necessary. You’ve already been through every detail, argument, theory, and solution there is to offer, and now you are starting to cycle through them again. Rat energy reminds you that it is time to purge old ways and victim mentality, release the clutter and the story attached to the situation, so you can allow room for new beginnings. Going back through it and over it all will not bring you any closer to resolution. It is time to get to the heart of the wound, and cut out the drama, and bring things to completion. Time to release and let it go. Agree to disagree, or just bury it in the past, so at this stage, you can move forward. You may feel a sense of resistance or sadness as you go through the process, but it is also an opportunity to reflect upon valuable insights. All is not lost, it is a chance to drop the weight of the mental baggage that has cut so deeply into you, give it to the Universe and let it go. The worst is over.

Additional Meaning: Completion, liberation, final discussions, end of arguments, defeat, backstabbed, release.”

Yup. I can definitely see the applicability of this entreaty to release and resolve both on the micro and the macrocosm.

Four of Swords – The Naked Heart Tarot* by Jillian C. Wilde

Four of Swords

Underneath the Ten of Swords was the Four of Swords. While I’m not going to say much about it here, just looking at it I’m confident you can glean how it provides the foundation to the top pick. Underlying our ability to embrace the message of the Ten of Swords is the necessity for us to create a safe space where we can embrace quiet and contemplation. A place where we can be alone with our very own thoughts – free of the yammer, blaming, and arguments being levied all around us.

It’s sort of like the black cat in this card is the Hermit from our pick the other night. Yet again, we’re being urged to create space and be alone with our thoughts. We’re encouraged to allow silence to help us sort out what it is that needs to be released and resolved so a new foundation can be created.

We can do this.

*affiliate link

(T-101)

An Observation – Day 765

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Sunset 12/15/2020 – Photo: L. Weikel

An Observation

I had to run out to the grocery store – two, in fact – today. I needed to stock up on the ingredients necessary to fulfill my lofty snowstorm baking aspirations. In the midst of doing so, I made an observation that I wasn’t expecting: there seems to be an air of anticipation and happy excitement ahead of the snowstorm that’s supposed to arrive tomorrow.

Usually people are grumbly and cranky over an impending snowstorm. And one might think, given the severely restricted nature of our lives over the past year, that the prospect of being cooped up in our homes (yet again) as a result of a snow dump might just have people sidling even more toward the surly edges.

That did not seem to be the case. Instead, I witnessed cheerfulness and a bit more warmth from fellow shoppers and store employees than I was expecting.

Retreat

Could it be that everyone wants to get snowed in?  Is the realization of how much and how quickly the Covid-19 virus is spreading be sinking in? Is it possible that everyone just wants to hunker down and not have to think about washing their hands or making sure their mask is covering their nose and their mouth?

If we’re forced by the weather, something visible and tangible, to stay inside, then it just restores a sense of normalcy to our lives, even if fleetingly. Because let’s face it, our everyday work lives are not normal. Every day we get up in the morning and, if we have to deal with the public or report to an office or a courtroom or a nursing home or a prison, we have to entertain the possibility that we might get sick. Even if we wear our masks and stay 6’ away from everyone, the possibility exists that someone we’re talking to or walking behind may spread it and not even realize it.

And that’s a huge stress.

Find Joy

It sort of feels as though we’re all just so darn ambivalent. Of course we want to work. Not only do we (hopefully) get a sense of worth and purpose from our work, but let’s face it, it pays the bills. And yet the script that’s running quietly at the base of our skulls just keeps on whispering its relentless litany of ‘what ifs.’ A nice thick layer of snow feels like the perfect muffler to drown out the incessant worry.

May we all stop tomorrow and listen to the snowflakes as they click softly into place, piling one on top of each other. If you still have to work, may you find joy. If you get to leave your workplace early, give yourself permission to play – even if it’s only fleeting. Play. Laugh. Find joy. Remember, too, to look for it.

Sunset from the grocery store parking lot – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-346)

Ugh Oh – Day 732

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Tree Huddle – Photo: L. Weikel

Ugh Oh

I just realized that about fifteen minutes from when I’m writing this, it’s going to be Friday the 13th. Normally, I embrace the 13th of anything – and I certainly do not ascribe any ill-fated inclinations to the number. As a matter of fact, I’ve considered the 13th to be a fortunate number in my own life. It is historically associated with women and the moon, and best yet, my eldest son was born on the 13th, albeit not a Friday. That said, when I saw that tomorrow is Friday the 13th, my first thought was, “Ugh oh.”

Let’s not forget: it may be November, but it’s still 2020. I don’t think there’s been much of anything this year that’s not had a little bit of “ugh oh” associated with it. But the next several days are going to be particularly intense.

Jupiter Conjunct Pluto

In fact, one astrological aspect that occurred today and that’s impacting all of us is Jupiter conjuncting Pluto. This is an aspect that occurs every 13 years. It’s generally associated with big death or major (Jupiter) transformation (Pluto).

The unique specialness that we’ve come to know as 2020 brought us the tremendously lovely (eye roll) opportunity to experience this conjunction three times within seven months. Why? Because both planets went retrograde this year right around when they were aspecting each other in Capricorn.

That means that Jupiter and Pluto were conjunct (meaning occupying the same degree and sign at the same time) on April 4, 2020. It may be recalled, that’s right around when the pandemic started exploding in New York.

Both Pluto and Jupiter then stationed (appeared to ‘stop’) and went retrograde (an optical illusion that makes a planet appear to be going backwards in its usual orbit), Pluto at the end of April and then Jupiter in early May. This caused the two planets to meet up with each other and become conjunct again – on June 30th. This coincided with another blip in the coronavirus spread.

And today, we just had the third conjunction of the two planets, as they both are moving forward again and have, once again, caught up with each other. Sad to report, but the pandemic is reaching crisis proportions here. Just today, I believe there were something like 158,000+ new positive cases. That’s more than 10,000 more cases today than yesterday. And hospitalizations and deaths are increasing as well, although they are, as always, ‘lagging’ indicators. (Because people don’t usually get hospitalized and rarely die the same day they’re diagnosed with Covid-19. That takes some time.)

On the Bright Side

We’ll be experiencing a new moon early Sunday morning (late Saturday evening for those on the west coast), so we might want to think about planting some fresh intentions geared toward keeping ourselves, our families, and everyone we come into contact with safer. It feels especially important to set such intentions this weekend because the next two weeks will encompass Thanksgiving. Remember: short term sacrifice for long-term gain.

There are other planetary aspects occurring over the next few days that could portend additional  likelihood of volatility, rage, and acting out. Given that tomorrow is Friday the 13th, then, it might behoove all of us to be mindful of everything that’s going on right now and just chill out.

We didn’t get a chance to walk today because every time we thought about setting out, it started to drizzle. Here’s hoping we get to walk tomorrow. Stay well, everyone.

(T-379)

Happy New Moon – Day 115

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The start of a ‘moonless’ night – Photo: L. Weikel

Happy New Moon

Yes, I know, new moons happen every 28 ½ days. Month after month. Never ending, just cycling over and over again.

So what’s the big deal?

Maybe it’s the simple rhythm of that cycle. The reassuring dependability that no matter what happens in the world, no matter what happens in our own lives, or in our country, or even on a global scale, the moon will experience a ‘new beginning’ every 28 ½ days. We depend upon it.

A Cycle That Never Deviates – Our Entire Lives

And then, with a precision and reliability that we simply cannot fathom being anything but what it is, the moon will proceed through her phases. Gradually waxing minute by minute, day by day, and thereby growing more insistent in her pull upon the waters of this planet (including each one of us, being mostly comprised of water ourselves).

Once reaching her apex of power and pull, bringing a sense of utter completion, the moon will bask in all her glory over us. Lighting our path so brightly, should we take a walk at night, that the shadows are as stark and well-defined as any might be in the full light of Inti Tayta (Father Sun).

And then of course she begins her retreat, once again, into hiding. As she begins to disappear, we are called upon to ask ourselves what it is we would like to stop hiding (from ourselves or others). It’s then, as we look forward to the ‘dark time’ of the new moon – and finally loosen our grip on how we think our lives are supposed to ‘go’ or how we wish they had gone over the past month and accept what is – that we embrace the exciting potential of a new start, a clean slate.

A Symbol of Hope

This unrelenting pattern of building and releasing and doing it again, and again, and again is a comfort to us, whether or not we pay attention to the moon.

For me, Mama Killa’s rhythmic waxing and waning is a symbol of hope. Each new moon gives me yet another opportunity to get things right or to do better ‘this’ time. Each one is a yardstick that can be held up to my life, giving me feedback on whether I’m making progress toward achieving my goals and dreams.

New Moon in Pisces

I am not anywhere near well-versed enough in astrology to have an opinion or even, really, a cursory grasp on the meaning of the new moon being in the sign of Pisces tonight. I can tell you that Pisces is the last sign of the natural zodiac, so it is the last hurrah. One might conclude, as a result, that today’s new moon could bring with it a huge set of metaphorical erasers. This represents a bigger cycle of endings and new beginnings than your average new moon.

And one last interesting twist to this new moon: Mercury goes retrograde today. For three weeks, Mercury will appear to our naked eyes, at least, to be moving ‘backwards.’ It won’t be actually moving backwards, as it is an optical illusion created by the movement and placement of the planets from our perspective here on Earth.

Mercury retrograde lasts approximately three weeks. This one begins on March 6th and does not end until March 28th.

Mercury retrograde is the perfect time to ‘re’ everything: retreat, review, rework, reflect – on our lives, our relationships, our projects and aspirations. It’s not usually a time to forge ahead. But it most certainly is a time to assess the progress we’re making toward achieving the things that matter most to us. (I think it also might be a time for me to get some Listening Retreats scheduled!)

The Dark Nights

So over the next three nights or so, when the moon is invisible because she’s gone dark and is actively hiding her light, when she is not reflecting any of the Sun’s rays, contemplate what you want to plant now. Given that we’ll also be experiencing the Spring equinox right around the fullest expression of the moon this month, it feels like that might be the first indication of how our seedlings are doing after two weeks of germination.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like the culmination – the fullness – of the moon coinciding with the Spring equinox seems exquisitely timed to create the greatest impact on all of us. My sense is that we are all building up to the arrival of Spring this year. It is going to bring change to all of us.

I’m going to bed now. I need to plant my seeds and contemplate how best I can nurture them into fruition.

(T- 996)

Special Event Announcement – Day 107

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Special Event Announcement                                  

As March roars toward us at lightning speed, I’m excited to announce a special event that’s coming in May.

The long weekend of May 16th– 19th, 2019, I will be co-presenting a truly unique retreat with my colleague and friend, Wendy Warner, M.D., in the Appalachians of western North Carolina. The program is geared specifically toward physicians and other healthcare practitioners who might be curious about bringing shamanic work into their practice.

Some Background on Wendy Warner, MD

Wendy is a board certified ObGyn who spent 14 years in a conventional practice and eventually started investigating integrative holistic medicine as a means of being more effective in her work.  She learned botanical medicine and energy work initially, as those things spoke to her. Eventually, she began teaching for the American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine (the original certifying body in Integrative Medicine); she also served as President of the Board.  Since then, she has also become faculty for the Institute for Functional Medicine.

In 2004, Wendy left her conventional practice and opened her current office, Medicine in Balance. There she practices integrative functional medicine, with a strong emphasis on botanicals and energy medicine. She shares space with a number of other providers so that our patients will have access to a panoply of therapies. These range from acupuncture, osteopathic manipulation and shin tai, to Rubenfeld synergy and  – you guessed it – shamanic healing.

Upon opening her practice, Wendy loved how much more effective integrative holistic medicine is for chronic illness.  And yet, there were (and are) those patients who are tough. The ones where you fix one issue and, months later, something else pops up.  You fix that and yet another issue arises.  We’ve jokingly referred to this as the “whack a mole” syndrome. She was frustrated.

A Doctor, A Lawyer, and a Shaman Meet in a Bar…

Although Wendy and I have known each other since 2001, we initially met in the context of her service as a board member of our local Planned Parenthood and mine as that organization’s Director of Development.

Sensing a kindred spirit, I confided in Wendy that I was engaging in an in-depth study of shamanic healing techniques, she encouraged me to contact her when I was ready to offer my services to the community. (To be honest, I laughed when she suggested this to me. In 2004, I couldn’t imagine I would be providing shamanic work to complete strangers in connection to a medical practice!)

Well – let that be a lesson!

Never Say Never

Our collaboration on behalf of her patients began in 2008, and overall, the results have been exciting, gratifying, and remarkable. Wendy recognizes that, sometimes, the best solution to a patient’s issues is attending to imbalances manifesting in their energy fields and the depths from which those imbalances are sourced. That’s where my work comes in. Together, we have witnessed some truly amazing and remarkable shifts in patients’ healing journeys.

There are precious few, if any, medical practices in our country that offer the depth and breadth of care and attention to patients’ needs as provided by Medicine in Balance. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity that Wendy and her vision and open-minded approach to healing has provided me to be of service to our community.

Medicine in Balance – One of a Kind

It is precisely because Medicine in Balance is so unique that Wendy and I are offering this retreat. We are excited to share our experiences in bringing the most ancient of healing modalities to a modern, 21stcentury medical practice.

I’ve posted the details of this retreat on the Events page of my website. I would love it if you would consider sharing this blog post, or if you see it on FB, sharing it there – and tagging your friends or family members who are in the healing professions. Of course, if you are a physician or other healing professional – join us!

If you think you know any doctors or medical practitioners (and think outside the box here, too: dentists would also benefit enormously) who might be interested in exploring this work, please feel free to contact me for flyers or brochures. FYI, I make that comment about dentists because I actually have worked on people who were presenting with mouth and teeth issues that were baffling both physicians and dentists…and met with success in getting to the ‘root’ of their issues.

Finally, the setting will be exquisite: the private retreat center known as Amadell, which is located in the great Appalachian mountains of western North Carolina. One thing I know for sure: we’ll nurture the physicians’ souls that weekend, and that has to be a good thing for everyone.

(T-1004)

Retreat! – Day Sixty Four

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Photo: Prime.peta.org

Retreat!

“Prairie Dog medicine teaches that strength and inspiration can be found by retreating into the stillness that quiets the mind. The strength of this medicine is also knowing when and how to replenish your life force. Prairie Dog medicine people tend to seek self-empowerment in silence and inactivity, where they can access dreams and visions without the intrusions of worldly chaos. When they reenter the world, they are profound and powerful anchors of calm resolve amid life’s storms.” (Medicine Cards, p. 225)

 

On the first day of January, I chose Prairie Dog not only on my day, but also as an indicator of the essential theme for my 2019.

But instead of having Raven underneath, as I did last year, Beaver showed up.

I have to admit, I was surprised. It was (and still is) feeling like this year is going to have a distinctly different flavor than 2018. So, given my assumptions about last year’s Prairie Dog and how they played out, I wasn’t expecting to pick it again this year.

In fact, it’s almost amusing. As I was walking along our dirt road two weeks ago, passing the entrance to the state park near our home, enjoying the unseasonably balmy weather of that first day of the year, I distinctly remember thinking to myself that I’ve let go of the idea of writing a sequel. At least for now, anyway.

There’d been at least three distinct moments last year when I’d set aside time and immersed myself in my old journals, taking a deep dive into the thoughts and feelings surrounding that time in our lives that feels so important for me to share as the next step in our grand adventure. Each of those entry points into manifesting my intention, however, seemed to be derailed by something momentous occurring within our family that demanded my absolute attention.

My Assumption Wasn’t in the Cards

What I’d assumed that Prairie Dog was bringing me just wasn’t in the cards. That doesn’t mean, however, that PD had been a pick that made no sense. Quite the contrary. I was forced to withdraw from a lot of engagement with the outside world in order to address the stuff that needed attention here at home. And I needed to take care of myself, so I didn’t blow out.

I believe the Raven underneath reflected some major magic and healing that Karl experienced, which translated into coloring my entire world simply because our lives are that inextricably linked. I think I can safely say that neither of us saw it coming. I know I can say the ripple effects will certainly extend well into the future.

And so, here I am. I’m not assuming the Prairie Dog that showed up for this year has anything to do with my writing. And let’s face it: taking on this 1111 Devotion has changed my relationship to my writing profoundly, even if my posts, on average, are pretty short. Writing every day for public consumption is weird. And I’m not sure if or how it’s going to influence whether I tell the next chapter of my story in the form of a book. We’ll see.

Prairie Dog’s Literal Message

“Prairie Dog…calls me

     when it’s time to rest,

When it’s time to honor

     the internal quest.

I go into retreat

     so I may see,

A way to replenish

     The potential in me.”

As I mentioned yesterday, it’s pretty obvious that Prairie Dog could be giving me a very clear and literal  message that I am to lead more retreats this year. (Speaking of which, I need to tell you about a really cool one I’ll be co-leading in May. But I’ll give that its own post.)

Beaver’s Contribution to the Message

Truthfully, given the presence of Beaver underneath this year’s pick, it looks like that could very well be where these critters are leading me. That’s because, beyond the above quote about going ‘into retreat,’ Beaver is all about teamwork and building something with others.

Indeed, a salient paragraph of Beaver is as follows:

“To understand Beaver medicine, you might take a look at the power of working and attaining a sense of achievement. In building a dream, teamwork is necessary. To accomplish a goal with others involves working with the group mind. Group mind constitutes harmony of the highest order, without individual egos getting in the way. Each partner in the project honors the talents and abilities of the others, and knows how to complete the piece of the puzzle that belongs to them. In working well with others, a sense of community is achieved and unity ensues.”

The fascinating thing about this is that this will be the first year I’ve run a retreat with a partner, a co-presenter. And it will be held in a completely different setting than any retreat I’ve run prior to this, with lots of other people involved, and even a different core audience. So there will most definitely be ‘group mind’ at work on a lot of different levels.

Back to Waiting

Now, whether this is how Prairie Dog/Beaver works out in the long run, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Which brings me back to my theme yesterday: waiting.

Is this the year of an active or passive Prairie Dog? Guess I’ll find out.

Either way, it seems obvious I will need to take extra care of myself, since “…Just as Native American warriors knew when to charge forward and when to become invisible, the Marmot tribe knows how and when to retreat. The Prairie Dog runs for the tunnels when a predator is on its trail; in the winter (ahem), it conserves energy by hibernating during the scare time of the cold moons.”

I think I’ll go hunker down now.

Wikipedia.com

(T-1047)

Waiting – Day Sixty Three

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 2 Comments
Photo by kids.nationalgeographic.com

Waiting

Man, waiting has to be one of the hardest things to do. Because, obviously, it requires us to not do. And for people who have been taught that not doing is lazy, uninspired, weak, or somehow obviously lacking in the qualities that make one a ‘winner,’ waiting can feel like torture.

Waiting requires patience and, to a certain extent, faith. Faith that in making the conscious decision to step back from activity, from taking action or doing something to change a situation in some tangible, affirmative way (move it forward, take it in a different direction, bring in a new catalyst), you are in fact ‘doing’ the right thing.

And that’s the tricky part, isn’t it?

Doing by not doing?

And Yoda Says…

Sounds so zen and new age-y. Or for those of us who love Star Wars, Yoda-like.

But there’s a huge wisdom to the concept. (Which, duh, is why Yoda espoused it.) And because our society positively reveres action, striving, leaning into, hurdling over, and winning!, waiting can feel like losing. Or giving up.

It can feel like suicide.

So when we’re asked to wait – by other people, institutions, circumstances, or Spirit – we can actually feel more stressed over standing down than we would if we were given a task universally thought to be impossible to achieve. Because doing is better than not doing. Because when asked to do the impossible, we rise to the challenge like starving goldfish to the fish food dispenser. Because even if we fail to achieve that (impossible) goal, if we tried really hard, if we did our best, if we gave it our all, then at least we couldn’t be blamed for not succeeding. Right?

In an informal survey of people close to me, there are a startlingly large number of people being asked to wait as we begin living our version of 2019. I can think of at least a dozen people I know (myself being one of them) being asked – no, directed – to be patient. To wait.

Perhaps we are being asked to allow the rest of the world to catch up to us.

Perhaps the circumstances that we will need to make the most out of the idea we’re percolating, or the deal we know is perfect, haven’t fallen into place yet. Maybe we don’t even know yet what those missing pieces are. And maybe we will never know.

We Need to Trust

Yet they need to fall into place for the rest of our vision to come into being. If we don’t know what they are, but they’re essential to the ‘mission,’ then we need to trust. And wait.

Maybe we’re being asked to give ourselves the opportunity to muster our inner and/or outer resources so that when it comes time to deploy them, they are fully replenished and abundantly accessible and renewable. So we wait.

My point is that we simply Do. Not. Know. And it’s an illusion to always think we know best; that we know how things are supposed to unfold. We know what comes next in our Grand Plan.

If this dance with doing/not doing feels uncomfortably familiar, I feel you.

Last year, on New Year’s Day 2018, Karl and I chose our Medicine Cards like we do every other day. But of course, when we choose on New Year’s Day we accord it special meaning. We ascribe to that pick our theme for the year.

A Prairie Dog Year – Last Year

In 2018, I chose Prairie Dog/Raven.

Prairie Dog’s key word is Retreat. And Raven’s key word is Magic.

To be honest, I was psyched. Toward the end of 2017, I’d started getting the feeling that 2018 was going to be the year I finally, finally stopped talking about it and devoted my time to digging deep into writing the sequel to Owl Medicine.

Good Goddess. I’ve only known the essence of that sequel since I lived it a million years ago.

But it didn’t happen. Instead, it was a really rough year for us in a myriad of ways. It took a lot of my focus to just keep us on track and our eyes forward. There was not a lot of opportunity to give myself the inner seclusion I need to write. No opportunity to retreat – at least, in the way I had envisioned I would, or for the purpose I assumed.

Eventually I had to let go of my certainty that 2018 was the year of writing my next book. (Indeed, I’m so damn tired of even thinking there will be a sequel, I hesitate to even bring it up here.)

I was forced to wait. And wait some more. And pivot. Put out fires. Dance around and make things work, but wait on the urge to complete my manuscript. My work was to keep our collective act together and wait for the Universe to move things – people and opportunities –  I had not notion of a year ago into place that would allow forward movement when the time was right.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I picked my cards for 2019.

(T-1048)

Photo: defendersblog.org