No Walk Today

…and I’m out of sorts.

I’ve been walking more over the past six weeks or so. More than the usual two miles a day that is our (Karl’s and my) habit. Significantly more.

I’ve almost felt pushed out the door and urged to just get out and keep walking, walking, walking. I feel like it’s an attempt to clear my head and heart and body. But I can’t even say it’s been to hear more clearly or listen more deeply.

It’s simply felt like a process I was being compelled to undertake.

I can say that more miles of local roadways are now devoid of cigarette butts and random beer bottles or fast food detritus, which is a plus. And I’ve certainly been rewarded with some astonishing photo opportunities. (Where would I be without my clouds?)

But I can’t say I’ve had any revelations while I’ve been putting one foot in front of the other. In fact, it’s felt a bit odd and a little bit frustrating, as my favorite means of self-reflection and gaining deeper insight into myself is writing in my journal. So there’s this part of me that wrestles every time I slip Spartacus’s harness on and clip his leash to the D ring. (He’s the one who’s logged the most added mileage on his paws, gamely keeping me company almost every step of the way, while Sheila – being four years older – has increased her mileage but not to the extent of her ever-eager son.)

“I should be writing. I should be editing. I should be answering emails. I should be… (blah blah blah).”

And yet, in spite of these ‘shoulds,’ I’ve set out and just walked and walked and walked. I don’t listen to music. I don’t try to read. I just walk.

I’ve been meaning to go back and take a look at how many miles I’ve walked since my birthday. I have a feeling I’ve logged some significant mileage.

But to what end?

I can’t say. I trust, though, that it is serving a purpose. I trust that I’m being encouraged to engage in this activity for a reason, even if it’s not obvious to me at the moment.

I missed it today. And I’m out of sorts.

(T-946)