Integrity

Dark Night – Day 340

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Dark Night – Photo: L. Weikel

Dark Night

I’m actually being quite literal here. The photo above was taken on our brisk walk around our 2.2 mile loop just this evening. With the wind moaning through the treetops as we made our way along our path, I was reminded why I wear Turtlefur neck warmers and vowed to dig them out of the closet.

This dark night, though, was the perfect ending to a depressingly dark day, as well.

Of course, I’m speaking of the unexpected and untimely death of Representative Elijah Cummings very early this morning. (Follow that link – it’s to an obituary that’s much different than most I’ve read.)

I’ve felt the loss on a visceral level all day. Since hearing the news, I’ve been reflecting on what it was about the Congressman that renders our country’s loss of this man so tragic, especially right now. The answer is integrity. The answer is passion for what is right. The answer is being willing to stand up and call out bullshit.

Our Country’s Still So Young

To be honest, I was shocked to realize Representative Cummings was the son of a sharecropper. He was only eight years older than I am – and his father was a sharecropper? That’s stunning.

For me, I guess, it’s the realization that slavery and sharecropping are such recent conditions of control maintained in our country. I want to think of them as long-ago ‘history’ – as shameful relics of an extremely unenlightened time. But that’s wishful and utterly naïve.

On the other hand, deep down I feel a concomitant celebration, deep in my heart, that a sharecropper’s son could grow up to become Chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Reform.

That is the American Dream I believe in.

Upholding Justice, Truth, and Integrity

Whenever I heard him speak, I was moved by Representative Cummings’s commitment to justice and truth. It was obvious that witnessing the degradation and abuse of our country and its systems, including the system of checks and balances which has been a hallmark of our democracy, and the daily mockery of the gravitas, power, and honor of the presidency, was literally causing him pain and distress.

Indeed, from what I can tell, it literally broke his heart.

Today was a dark day indeed.

Yet we are approaching the time when the veils are thinnest. Perhaps, in his own way, Congressman Cummings knew he would and could find ways – from the other side –  to be an even more effective champion for what’s right and good in the world. He was formidable here; imagine what he may accomplish from there.

(T-771)

Frustration – Day 200

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Things are looking pretty dark – Photo: L. Weikel

Frustration               

I’ve been bouncing around a couple of ideas of what I could or might want to write about tonight. It’s #200 – so it seems appropriate that I should redouble my efforts to bring something of value to the table, especially for those of you who’ve been my faithful companions through this 1111 Devotion.

So I decided to scrap my follow up on the abysmal weather pattern we’ve been enduring here in eastern Pennsylvania (and obviously elsewhere, with even more devastating effects), even though the National Weather Service has confirmed that yesterday our area experienced the third tornado in ten days.

That’s some intense stuff.

Devoted to Ideals

Or I could riff on the scary state of our government and our country. But I don’t even like writing that sentence, to be honest. I am fundamentally devoted to the ideals I was taught are the foundation upon which our country was established. And what I’m seeing play out before our eyes is smothering my spirit.

I’m astonished that the principles of integrity and impartiality are such foreign concepts to so many people that they cannot fathom what is happening when others act with those two principles firmly ensconced in their core. That’s really what we’re seeing here with respect to the Mueller report.

Attorney General William Barr came out today in an interview and said that Mueller “could have” drawn a conclusion as to whether crimes have been committed by the President. By saying that, he is being completely disingenuous, because I would bet a million dollars they already had their propaganda campaign in place to completely smear Mueller had he chosen to do that. Why? Because of that obnoxious Department of Justice opinion that states a sitting president can’t be indicted.

Ethics and Integrity

Barr et al. were expecting (hoping) Mueller would adhere to the technicality of that opinion and choose not to indict. But they figured (perhaps because the evidence is so overwhelming?) he would feel compelled to out Trump by stating conclusions based upon the mountains of evidence they gathered.

The thing is, Mueller wasn’t going to allow himself to be cornered like that. He actually has integrity. He honors not only the letter of the law, but also the spirit of the law: which is essentially that it would be unfair to lodge a ‘conclusion’ against Trump if he was not able to refute it. As tempting as it would be to castigate Donald Trump and draw conclusions from those mountains of evidence, as a member of the Department of Justice, he refused to do so.

Barr and the Administration were astounded at Mueller’s integrity. Of course, they also viewed it as a weakness, because it gave Barr the chance to come out with this absurd argument that he’s now touting, which is basically, “Well, Mueller could have drawn a conclusion!”

The Difference Between Can and Should

Even though when Barr says that, he does not mean that Mueller could have ethically drawn a conclusion. Barr just means that Mueller ‘could have’ drawn it. Similar to me arguing that if I accidentally cause damage to someone’s car in a parking lot and no one sees me, I could just choose to drive away.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

That’s when ethics come in. When integrity is the value that saves us from becoming a country that’s based on what we can get away with.

And that’s pretty much where we are right now.

What can we get away with? What can those who hold astounding amounts of power do when no one is looking? Good Goddess, what do they do when everyone is watching and no one in their own party (which is in the majority) holds them accountable?

If We Don’t Value and Demand Integrity – Who Will?

These are the fundamental questions we’re faced with. I’m incredibly frustrated that the concept of having impeccable integrity was so inconceivable to Barr and the Trump Administration that they just decided to exploit it as weakness, misrepresent it completely, and continue exploiting all of us for their own greedy ends.

Tell us how you really feel, Lisa.

(T-911)

What Really Matters – Day 133

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Cabin Run; Photo: L.Weikel

Setting Precedent

I’m worried.

I think the worst thing about what’s unfolding before our eyes is our country’s adoption of an attitude of plain old not giving a shit.

We see it all over the place, and of course, the main sources are those who have the most stature and, sadly, are the most notorious in our culture.

The definition of notorious? – Adj., widely and unfavorably known. (Emphasis added)

It seems to me that we’re losing something huge when those to whom we accord great responsibility and respect act in ways that make it excruciatingly clear they don’t give a shit.

When the Notorious Set Precedent

When, for instance, they do not care whether they’re exposed as taking advantage of their stature to curry favor or monetary gain. Or are exposed as tax cheats. Or are exposed as flagrantly making money on stock trades made moment before passage of legislation they took part in crafting and passing. Or are shown over and over and over again to simply lie for the sake of lying (or seeing what they can get away with.) And I’m only scratching the surface.

We are slapped in the face, day in and day out, with examples of people gaming the system, or simply flipping the table on it, in big ways and small. Cheating is exposed every day. We are drowning in corruption. And the prevailing attitude? Who gives a shit? And ultimately, “Then I might as well get mine.”

Yes, I’ll admit it: I’m old school. I’ve been a follower of rules for most of my life. A ‘good girl,’ if you will. I basically respect law and order, and I place great respect in the founding documents of our country and the laws, rules, and regulations passed by our legislative bodies.

Society Functions Best With One Set of Basic Values and Rules

I’d say my perspective is primarily that society functions best when we share a basic respect for the fundamentals. When we feel that the rules (laws) exist to make life run smoothly and efficiently. That stoplights are at intersections for a reason. That society deems certain actions to be crimes because they harm the rest of us (whether it be one of us, as in an assault, or all of us, as in dumping toxic waste into streams in the dead of night).

My issue with the way our country seems to be headed right now (more so than at any other time since the early 20thcentury and the reign of the robber barons) is that there seem to be two sets of rules. The rules for most of us, and the rules for the rich and powerful.

And that’s where things really get dicey. Because as more and more people see that nothing really matters, nobody gives a shit, or rules are made for suckers, a precedent is set. As more people witness all the little cuts to our country’s moral and ethical and decent body day after day, the more likely it is they’ll decide they don’t need to be decent, follow the rules, or obey the laws, either. And that’s when anarchy sets in.

No Lack of Enforcers

Oh yeah, we can take solace in the fact that there will always be police (probably more and more) and other ‘enforcers’ to go after those who do not have the money or power to fight for their innocence. Yippie. We’ve seen enough of that skewed justice lately to make us all lose faith in our system. And when more and more people stop giving a shit? There won’t be enough police or enforcers to take care of all that’s going to go down.

Just taking a walk today (picking up two grocery bags’ worth of garbage along the way, thank you everyone for coming out to enjoy High Rocks State Park – we love to pick up your fast food wrappers, cigarette butts, empty soda cans and beer bottles – so nice of you to come out to the country to enjoy Mother Nature and then effectively take a dump out your car window), we witnessed lots and lots of people just doing whatever they want. This vehicle, for instance:

Seriously. This was only one of many vehicles illegally parked directly, flagrantly, underneath signs that state in big bold letters: NO PARKING ANY TIME. (There was yet another identical sign posted right in front of the truck.) The main reason for the prohibition of parking on this single lane dirt road is because people fall at High Rocks. Often. Accidents happen. Emergency vehicles need to be able to get through, to get near enough to rescue people.

Why Should Anyone Follow the Rules?

But hey. Who cares? Who cares if something happens while you’re deep in the woods and no one can get around your truck? Nobody gives a shit. Rules are made for suckers. It’s ok. Steal a movie off the internet. Cop a feel at a bar. Go to a sex club where 13 year old girls are passed around. Everybody does it. (At least, the rich and powerful do it.)  It’s OK. You won’t pay a price. In fact, it will get swept under the rug. Nothing matters.

These are the lessons and attitudes flooding our collective consciousness every day. I fear we’re becoming numb to it. To the outrageous and blatant disregard for basic decency, fair play, and respect for others.

We Need to Be the Ones Who Care

Yes. I am worried. The examples being set are impacting all of us – but especially our youth.

And yet, in spite of it all, I refuse to believe that integrity and honor are dead. I refuse to believe that doing the right thing when no one is looking is stupid. Or for suckers. Or a lost, outmoded way of being in the world.

Integrity matters. Honor matters. Caring and respect and right actions matter.

We matter. We need to stand for what we know is right. We need to give a shit.

(T-978)

Following My Sonar – Day Four

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 4 Comments

Dolphin reversed/Jaguar

I suspect this is going to be anti-climactic, since I’ve delayed writing about it for two days; nevertheless, here is the short tale of how my “pick” for the day on Sunday started the ball rolling toward this mammoth freaking blogging extravaganza. Commitment.

As I mentioned in my Devotion post, when I asked Karl (my husband), how we could best honor our son, Karl’s, life, the “answer” immediately flashed in my head: “Karl must do art and I must write.” I knew it in an instant, and I knew it to be true.

But of course this seemed obvious to me. Our son was relentlessly creative – and probably more talented than both of his parents combined. So yeah, I understood why each of us engaging in our favored creative outlets would be the best way to “honor” his life. So, even though I knew this “answer” had flashed distinctly into my mind, I wasn’t convinced the answer was pure.

Following this initial conversation, Karl and I fell silent, lost in our private thoughts, savoring our early morning coffee, and ultimately choosing our Medicine Cards© for the day. As I described in my “Devotion” post, the intention I held as I chose my cards for the day was specifically, “How can I be of greatest service to the memory of my Bug Pie?” And thus, I chose Dolphin reversed with Jaguar underneath.

As I’ve described before, Karl and I have chosen Medicine Cards© virtually every day for the past 28 years or so. We take the top card we choose as the main card for our day, and we look to the bottom card for “context” or to help us understand better the application or interpretation of the top card. I’ve also described how I make a point of reading the entire description of the top card chosen, in spite of the fact that we’ve been engaging in this practice every day for so many years. (For expediency’s sake, though, we never read the bottom card – we just take into account our general knowledge of the essential characteristics of that card and see if it helps us understand what the top card is telling us.)

As I read Dolphin, I was acutely aware this day of the irony that Dolphin begins with these words:

“Dolphin speaks to us of the breath of life, the only thing that humans cannot go without for more than a few minutes. We can live without water and food for days, but oxygen is the source of our sustenance. …”

Hmmm, yes. It was oxygen, specifically, that Karl was forced to go without – at his peril.

The next part of the essay on Dolphin that spoke to me was:

“Dolphin was given a new job. He became the carrier of messages of our progress. (…) This can be a time when you are to link with Great Spirit and bring answers to your own questions or to those of others.”

The reversal of Dolphin didn’t make a lot of sense to me vis-à-vis my question, except when I read:

“Pay close attention to your health and your feelings. (…) Another message of contrary Dolphin is that many signals are carried through universal tides or waves, and you may be failing to use your sonar.”

It was at this point that the specific word Devotion first came to mind. It popped into my head and I knew without question that I’d not been paying attention to my feelings. I’ve felt something big approaching, some profound change in the nature or scope of my healing work, or my teaching, or perhaps even my writing (which if I’m honest has languished since publishing Owl Medicine in 2001), but I wasn’t “getting it.” I’ve honestly been wondering what “change” was on the horizon, yearning for it to be revealed.

I wasn’t getting it. Or maybe, I wasn’t doing it.

Yet it wasn’t simply the sense that I’ve been ‘failing to use my sonar’ (or failing to listen to what I should be focusing upon and acting upon it). It was also the fact that Jaguar was “underneath,” coloring and adding nuance to this scenario. Jaguar – an archetype profoundly dear to me, both personally and in my work in the shamanic realm. Jaguar – which represents, for me at least, the qualities of integrity and impeccability; qualities that I aspire to live by and hold as the guiding standards for my behavior; qualities that perhaps I wasn’t applying to the message being sent by Dolphin.

It was then that I realized that, yes, the best way I could be of greatest service to Karl’s memory is to write – to not only engage in my creative outlet but in so doing be a “message carrier” – but that I must do so with the integrity and impeccability I hold so dear: I must engage this writing with DEVOTION.

This was (and is) big for me, as I give my writing the least priority of anything else I do.

Thus, as I read Dolphin and its reversal, and coupled it with the exacting standards of Jaguar underneath, I had the feeling that I am being called to a Devotion; to engage in an Act of Power in Karl’s honor: writing a blog post every single day, no matter how long or short, for at least one year.

So where did the leap to 1111 days come from?

Tomorrow. I’ll save that part for tomorrow.

(T-1107)