hoarding experiences Archives - Owl Medicine: Shamanic Healing

Silver Lining

Karl and I managed to get out for a walk today earlier than we have in quite a while. Nevertheless, it was still late afternoon, so by the time we got most of the way around our usual two mile jaunt, the sun was starting to give serious thought to setting. That’s when the silver lining gave way to some serious ice crystal dazzle.

Seriously, I got so many amazing photos this afternoon, I could probably write at least two more posts just celebrating the breathtaking moments of the final 20 minutes of our walk.

It’s funny. This dilemma I’m feeling is stemming from learning (or failing to fully integrate, perhaps) that little writers’ admonition not to hoard our experiences. And yet just last night, I intentionally chose not to share the odd photo that showed up on my phone between the two photos I used in my post. In fact, I even mentioned the peculiar photo and teased that I pretty much intended to write about it tonight.

But now here I am. Conflicted.

A Progression

The sky this afternoon provided some stunning moments that demanded we stop and pay full, unadulterated attention to the sky.

My conflict arises from my desire to transmit our experience to you in the same progression Mother Nature unfurled it to us, for the changes moment to moment, minute to minute, yielded their own unique set of exclamations, while at the same time wanting to skip to the climactic conclusion.

If I don’t lay out the entire progression that we experienced this afternoon, I run the risk of having life intervene and never ending up sharing the best with you.

Silver (or is that gold?) lining on the horizon – Photo: L. Weikel

Silver Lining

I’m going to risk the delay and take my time sharing the manner in which the sun performed today. But first, the photo from yesterday – the seemingly random, almost certainly accidental cascade of light, which I include at the beginning of this post.

I don’t know where this came from; it was taken, or at least showed up in my iPhone photos between the two photos of ice-covered tree branches I used in last night’s post. I just thought it was…odd. Maybe even breathtaking. Certainly reminiscent of, oh, I don’t know…Close Encounters of the Third Kind? (Weird trailer alert!)

Today’s walk, on the other hand, began with the sun hiding its light behind a substantial cloud on the horizon. But in behaving in a manner that resembled shyness, it was promising hope: providing us with the iconoclastic ‘silver lining.’

Near or far, the message was clear – there is the potential for good in even the darkest clouds on the horizon.

A closer look – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-279)

Reaching out.
Photo by Lisa Weikel

Well, you know what they say about our “best laid plans…”

Yeah. It’s 10:00 p.m. and I only just got home half an hour ago.

I’m going to try to “bang this out,” so to speak, because I refuse to drop the ball only one day into my 1111 Devotion blogging extravaganza. Regrettably, though, I probably won’t tell anywhere near as interesting a story as I’d have liked. But I did give fair warning in my initial post: I knew there would be days when I would be lucky if I posted even a handful of sentences.

Trust me, though. I didn’t think I’d have to count on that luck only one day into the commitment!

Instead of using today’s blog post to explain the significance of my Dolphin reversed/Jaguar “pick” on Sunday (11/11), which I took as one of the confirmations that I was on the right track in deciding to engage in this 1111 Devotion, I’m instead going to let you in on a tiny dilemma I’m facing, which I find sort of intriguing.

As a writer, I’ve read a ton of enthusiastic and sometimes passionate books on writing, writing “practice,” routines, suggestions, strategies, and tactics designed to enhance one’s creativity. One of the tactics I’ve danced with (since “struggle” is a bit too intense), is the idea that when one sits down to write, when a writer sets aside time to work on a project or even just engage in a timed writing exercise to warm up the creative muscles and get those juices flowing, it is essential that we spend it all. Don’t hold back, it’s recommended. Spend it; play it; run the idea out to its conclusion. Don’t save any of your words for another time. Never hoard your ideas!

Well, I must confess, I do hoard my words. I have hoarded my experiences. Not my experiences, actually, but rather my expression and sharing of them. And I want to change that. I yearn to lay it all out there and let people know how I ended up doing what I do and why.

So yesterday, when I was writing my initial post, I desperately wanted to tell the whole story of all the different nudges I’d received on Sunday that added up to me deciding to actually commit to this crazy idea of 1111 Devotion. Because there were a number of things I took as “signs” and, added together, I couldn’t deny their message.

But then I sat back in my moss colored wing chair, adjusted my laptop as it perched on the pillow on my lap (yes, such a fancy writing station) and realized, “Good Goddess! I have 1110 more blog posts to write! I’m not going to spill all the beans all at once! Heck, writing out all the signs will buy me at least three more posts.” (Ha ha. Three more posts.)

Suddenly, there I was – right out of the box – feeling the lure of “parsing out” challenge the advice to spend fully.

And then today’s session went long and I didn’t get home for over 12 hours (with the commute), and I realized I might blow my vast one day streak of writing this blog, if I held myself to a commitment to saying it all. Especially if I write about the signs, which were neat, but which will take me longer than this to write out.

So you’re stuck with this. Day Two: I managed to post two days in a row. I didn’t listen to the experts and spend it all; but I didn’t hoard my words, or my feelings, either.

Maybe my inclination for parsing will serve me as I barrel toward blog post #3, tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.