Hairless Dog – ND #113

Handsome Hairless Pup – Photo: L. Weikel

Hairless Dog

The other day, I was scrolling through old photos and came upon this one of a hairless dog I encountered in an open-air market in Iquitos, Peru, in 2012. Iquitos is located on the banks of the Amazon River.

One of the things I noticed about Iquitos was the abundance of ownerless dogs running free. Since one rarely encounters them (at least in the numbers I found in many areas of Peru, but especially in Iquitos), I was surprised to find them ubiquitous yet surprisingly unassuming. Apparently they’ve honed their survival skills to sheer perfection, knowing precisely how close to stay to humans to survive (and most, apparently, to be happy), but also how to remain free from ownership.

I found this one to be simply amazing looking.

Another Creature

I should mention, I encountered this creature early in the day, as my friends and I made our way to a dock, where a relatively small craft awaited us to shuttle us up the Amazon to a nature preserve. That visit ended up yielding a rather unexpected encounter with yet another creature, one I’d never heard of before.

It wasn’t my intention to write about that visit tonight. Maybe I’ll save it for another time.

Erp! That sort of violates a tenet I’ve expressed other times discouraging the tendency I sometimes have of hoarding my thoughts and ideas. But you know what? I’m tired and I need to hunt for a photo of that other creature in order to illustrate my post appropriately.

In the meantime, I don’t want to detract from my hairless hound’s moment in the sun. It seems to me, this canine deserves its moment in the sun all by itself. It really was an amazing looking creature – and not the only one that sported this hairless look. I’ll admit I was shocked when I saw my first hairless pup, but this one was by far the most handsome. Or pretty.

I guess it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.

(T+113)

Procrastination – Day 1108

Puppies luxuriating fireside – Photo: L. Weikel

Procrastination

Oh yeah, baby. You have to know that’s my middle name. You may think it’s Joy (or maybe you didn’t know that), but either way, I’m here to tell you, procrastination takes on some peculiar characteristics in my life.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m realizing I don’t always have the same fundamental emotion motivating me to be…demotivated. You would think it’s primarily founded on avoidance of pain or unpleasantness. And I guess that’s true for some things I procrastinate on, such as inputting data into my Quicken or mowing the lawn when the grass is tall and the weather hot and sticky.

But even as I sit here and try to come up with stuff I really don’t like to do – and routinely procrastinate on – I find myself thinking, “Yeah, but when I finally end up doing those things, it feels so good.” I am often flooded with a sense of relief that I can cross them off my list.

And yet, that’s actually the least influential ‘good feeling’ I have after completing something I dragged my feet to do. I love the feeling of being organized or the satisfaction of seeing and smelling fresh cut grass. I love how the wildflowers growing in the middle of the lawn seem to duck the blade and spring up triumphantly about half an hour after I’ve put the mower away.

I’m serious about that, too! I used to feel annoyed by those wily wildflowers. Now I celebrate their resilience (as well as their color and diversity).

The Flip Side

The other side, or perhaps fundamental cause, of my procrastination is something I think I wrote about seemingly a million years ago – or at least early on in my 1111 Devotion. I guess I didn’t call it procrastination then. I think I called it hoarding. (Note! In finding the link to the hoarding post, I realize it was written way back in 2013 – well before embarking on my 1111 Devotion.)

And deep down, I think most of my procrastination is actually rooted in a desire to hold onto the feeling of potential, promise, and opportunity that comes when poised at the beginning of a new activity. I love the feeling that anything is possible. As a result, sometimes I linger a little too long in the imaginal realm. (Ha ha – spell check refuses to acknowledge that imaginal is a word.)

But this desire to linger also applies to tasks or projects I engage in often (or ‘should’ allow myself more often) – not just to new activities. And that’s actually the feeling and type of endeavor I’ve allowed to get a slow burn on lately.

I love to really dig into things, especially thoughts and feelings. Motivations. The real and honest stuff that informs our choices and helps define our reality. Writing in my journal is the way I make sense of the world, because writing in my journal is where I allow myself to dig deeply into my feelings and motivations.

And Then…

And then this happens: I forget where I was going with the thought that started this whole post. Now I see I’m going to barely have enough time to get it posted without it being bumped into the next day’s email.

Ugh.

OK, so I will end here for now. Maybe you’ll forgive me if I include some puppy photos.

I swear to you, this bottom one was taken only moments ago. No matter how many times I shift, they keep piling onto my left hand!

Writing Partners – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-3)

Asking For a Friend – Day 485

Photo: L. Weikel

Asking For a Friend

I’m just curious.

If you’ve been reading about and following the stories of the arrival of the Coronavirus here in the United States, you must know the following FACTS:

  1. It is primarily impacting, adversely, people who are 60 years of age or older, or those who are immuno-compromised or have pre-existing conditions, such as asthma, emphysema, etc., that make their lungs more susceptible to infection;
  2. The virus can be killed by washing your hands;
  3. Don’t touch your face;
  4. The virus is most often spread through touching a surface that has the virus on it (in other words, touched by someone who didn’t wash their hands);
  5. People can test positive for the virus and be asymptomatic. In other words, they may feel perfectly fine and yet be carrying the virus to all sorts of places – wherever anyone with even half a social life might go;
  6. Most people who will test positive for the Coronavirus will only experience mild or minimal symptoms;
  7. Don’t touch your face;
  8. Unless you are a healthcare professional, you probably do not need a face mask. If you are so sick that you are coughing a lot (which is really the main time anyone needs to be wearing a mask), you shouldn’t be anywhere but in your home, where you don’t need a mask.
  9. Don’t hoard.
  10. The most aware and compassionate response to having even the hint of suspicion that you might be infected with the virus is to STAY HOME.
  11. By STAY HOME, I mean ‘self-quarantine’ yourself by dropping anchor and staying at home for 14 days. No grocery store; no drug store; no liquor store; no bakery. You need to stock up on that stuff NOW, baby.
  12. Other things to do if you have even the whiff of feeling that you might have been exposed:
    1. Stay home (said above); Stay home even if you “just” have a cough, or “just” have a slight fever; or in anyway “just” don’t feel right or think you could “work through it;”
    2. Wash your hands; (This advice is given ad nauseum. Please, for the love of everything holy, wash your damn hands as often as possible);
    3. Don’t cough or sneeze on anyone or even near anyone. It’s gross, your mother taught you better, and it won’t kill you to either do it into your elbow OR, better yet, into a tissue that can promptly be thrown away;
  13. Don’t hoard.
  14. Don’t touch your damn face!

What I Really Don’t Get

What I really and truly don’t understand is why people are being so obtuse and thick-headed. The instructions, above, really are not complicated at all. And yet? People refuse to listen.

I see all sorts of people making excuses for not following those very simple suggestions, above, and using as an excuse that ‘the flu is worse.’ THAT IS NO EXCUSE – regardless of whether it’s true or not! The bottom line is that the scientists are saying that this has never been around before – it is unique. No one knows HOW fast it spreads (but it sure would appear to be yielding positive tests on an exponential basis within a single week). That does not bode well for any of us.

And tell me: what number of deaths is acceptable? What number of deaths will it take for it to make it worth your while to stay home and watch tv or read some books and keep your potentially lethal germs away from those in our society who are most vulnerable?

It sounds like the vast majority of people are either insanely stockpiling face masks, which is cruel and selfish, or in complete denial that this is really an emergency. Face masks are most helpful to healthcare workers, and by stockpiling them in your closet, you are doing no one any good. Just being selfish. Plus, face masks are best worn by people who have symptoms, such as a cough. If you have a cough: STAY HOME!

I’ve heard people use flimsy excuses for not taking basic precautions that range from:

  1. “It’s not as bad as the flu;”
  2. “The symptoms are mild, especially for people my age;”
    1. And a corollary to the above is, “It’s not impacting kids, so…?”
  3. “It’s a hoax;”

There are a number of other really appalling excuses being bandied about for not being a good human being and fellow citizen. To all of the people making these excuses,

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

Seriously, I’m asking for a friend. I’m asking for your mother. I’m asking for the person in the grocery store who beat lung cancer last year but still has a bit of a struggle with his respiration that makes him a good candidate TO DIE if he catches this virus.

Am I really to believe that people are so greedy that they will hoard food or supplies or even hand sanitizer and toilet paper or so selfish that they may willingly choose to go out and about, to the grocery store, the bakery, the dry cleaner – touching counters and door handles and grocery carts – without caring one whit about the older or ill person who could be felled by this infection?

I’m not intending to harangue the people who must work in order to keep a roof over their heads or food in their mouths. But I am talking to the thousands of people who can easily comply with the suggestions that will keep this from spreading, yet willingly choose to ignore them because they INCONVENIENT.

We Need to Care About Each Other

This infection spreads because our government has been too selfish and greedy, worrying about the stock market as opposed to our lives, to provide us with tests.

Let’s not be as greedy or selfish as our so-called leaders. Let’s show them who we really are.

(T-626)

Hoarding or Holding? – Day Forty Eight

Hoarding or Holding?

I’m struggling a bit.

I’ve been fantasizing for a few years about cleaning out what we call our ‘office’ and making it a place where Karl can paint and I – possibly, occasionally (probably never) – might read or write especially when I need some sunshine in the winter.

The reason I’ve been relegated to fantasizing about this for at least the last couple of years is because it entails going through files. And I am nothing if not exceedingly organized, with a file for everything – and occasionally a couple for the same thing. Also called inadvertent redundancy.

Filing Cabinet of Life Events

I started this post out with the intention of reflecting on that razor’s edge upon which I slip and slide (and often cut myself) when going through filing cabinets that seem to hold the history of our life as a family. You see, there is a filing cabinet I’ve moved from law office to law office, with a final resting place in my home office. For many years, it held my active legal files. Then as the kids got into high school and college, it started holding inoculation records, academic awards, test results, and newspaper clippings. Files were created for traffic tickets and leases, contracts and resumés. Some of the legal intermingled with the personal: my parents’ estate files, for instance.

Well, it’s time to move the filing cabinet out of the ‘office’ in order to transform the room into a studio. Studios don’t have filing cabinets. Ok, maybe some do. But not in this house.

And that’s not to say that I don’t have an effective filing system that is shifting to the ‘library annex’ mentioned in one of my previous posts. Nope; given that I’m the one that keeps all the records of all our businesses and family and home life, they’re of course moving with me to said ‘library annex.’ But I’m cleaning out that filing cabinet.

And I’ve been steadfastly refusing to clean that baby out for years now, precisely because of the nature of the files that made their way into it.

Without Proof Does a Life Disappear?

So today, I found myself in tears. Damn it; didn’t want to go there. I’m stuck, feeling the dilemma of deciding what to do with the files documenting Karl’s applications to colleges in 1999. His exchange experience in Norway. His grades at NYU; the details of his management contract in California and NYC. There’s so much history in those files.

Poor Sage – home for the holidays and eager to help me shift the life of the room to a studio… He checked on me at one point and realized I had tears running down my face, ridiculously wondering out loud if I threw stuff away that documented these milestones, would that erase all proof that Karl had existed?

And so I am left with that nagging question of how much to save and how much to feed the shredder.

I’m not inclined to scan this stuff, so that’s not an option. It will either survive as a real-life, tangible document, or it will be gone. <<Poof>> Just like he was. Just like we all are. From documents to artwork to green eyes and dazzling smiles.

Where’s the Edge?

So what is the edge between hoarding the memories in an unhealthy manner and holding on to some aspects of life as evidence for our future ancestors to literally hold and turn over in their hands? And why or for whom do I do either? Or neither?

Sometimes I wish I could just throw it all out with abandon. And then I think about the thousands of people who’ve lost everything in fire, flood, or other disaster, and I’m grateful for the torture these choices represent.

(T-1063)

Spend it All – Day Two – 1109 to go!

Reaching out.
Photo by Lisa Weikel

Well, you know what they say about our “best laid plans…”

Yeah. It’s 10:00 p.m. and I only just got home half an hour ago.

I’m going to try to “bang this out,” so to speak, because I refuse to drop the ball only one day into my 1111 Devotion blogging extravaganza. Regrettably, though, I probably won’t tell anywhere near as interesting a story as I’d have liked. But I did give fair warning in my initial post: I knew there would be days when I would be lucky if I posted even a handful of sentences.

Trust me, though. I didn’t think I’d have to count on that luck only one day into the commitment!

Instead of using today’s blog post to explain the significance of my Dolphin reversed/Jaguar “pick” on Sunday (11/11), which I took as one of the confirmations that I was on the right track in deciding to engage in this 1111 Devotion, I’m instead going to let you in on a tiny dilemma I’m facing, which I find sort of intriguing.

As a writer, I’ve read a ton of enthusiastic and sometimes passionate books on writing, writing “practice,” routines, suggestions, strategies, and tactics designed to enhance one’s creativity. One of the tactics I’ve danced with (since “struggle” is a bit too intense), is the idea that when one sits down to write, when a writer sets aside time to work on a project or even just engage in a timed writing exercise to warm up the creative muscles and get those juices flowing, it is essential that we spend it all. Don’t hold back, it’s recommended. Spend it; play it; run the idea out to its conclusion. Don’t save any of your words for another time. Never hoard your ideas!

Well, I must confess, I do hoard my words. I have hoarded my experiences. Not my experiences, actually, but rather my expression and sharing of them. And I want to change that. I yearn to lay it all out there and let people know how I ended up doing what I do and why.

So yesterday, when I was writing my initial post, I desperately wanted to tell the whole story of all the different nudges I’d received on Sunday that added up to me deciding to actually commit to this crazy idea of 1111 Devotion. Because there were a number of things I took as “signs” and, added together, I couldn’t deny their message.

But then I sat back in my moss colored wing chair, adjusted my laptop as it perched on the pillow on my lap (yes, such a fancy writing station) and realized, “Good Goddess! I have 1110 more blog posts to write! I’m not going to spill all the beans all at once! Heck, writing out all the signs will buy me at least three more posts.” (Ha ha. Three more posts.)

Suddenly, there I was – right out of the box – feeling the lure of “parsing out” challenge the advice to spend fully.

And then today’s session went long and I didn’t get home for over 12 hours (with the commute), and I realized I might blow my vast one day streak of writing this blog, if I held myself to a commitment to saying it all. Especially if I write about the signs, which were neat, but which will take me longer than this to write out.

So you’re stuck with this. Day Two: I managed to post two days in a row. I didn’t listen to the experts and spend it all; but I didn’t hoard my words, or my feelings, either.

Maybe my inclination for parsing will serve me as I barrel toward blog post #3, tomorrow.
Thanks for reading.