disrespect

Sunflowers – Day 990

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Look away?!  – Photo: L. Weikel

Sunflowers

I did a double take when I drove past a nearby field earlier today and saw row after row of towering sunflowers. Usually when I see fields of sunflowers I slow down so I can admire their bright and sunny faces. This time, though, it took me a moment to even realize the extraordinary sight I was seeing.

I drove past the field and found myself feeling like something wasn’t right. It was almost as if I’d witnessed something that simply didn’t compute in my brain. It was a mild form of that notion that when we perceive something either visually or aurally, but have no prior context or experience with this occurrence, our brains scurry to try to find something within our internal ‘data banks’ that make sense to us. Or else we ignore it altogether.

Most of us have experienced this at one time or another – and have heard our brains whirring within, trying to find a ‘match’ to help us identify the subject of our experience. I know there have also been research studies that have tracked how our ability to ‘see’ something is impacted by our expectations.

I actually think that’s why it took me a bit of a drive beyond the field to realize what I’d just seen.

Shunning

I did a U-turn to return to the field as soon as my comprehension clicked. Yup. It was a field full of sunflowers with their backs turned. I thought the entire scenario was especially odd since the sun was a good 90 degrees in another direction. What in the world were these sunflowers so fascinated by as to eschew their beloved sun?

It truly did feel as though they had turned their collective backs on the traffic driving by their field. They were shunning the traffic, perhaps?

I supposed that’s a possibility. But I likened their behavior more to the utterly appalling admission by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy that they hadn’t even watched the testimony of the four officers before the House Select Committee yesterday.

Honestly, I find that level of disrespect for (a) the officers who showed up for work on January 6th, 2021 and actually worked to save these lawmakers’ lives; and (b) the process undertaken by our government to conduct legitimate oversight of and investigation into exactly what unfolded on that date, why it happened, and who was behind it, utterly inexcusable.

Disrespect

I do not understand how elected representatives can so profoundly disrespect the foundations of our government and the Constitution upon which our country was founded (and which they specifically took an oath to uphold and defend). Disrespect is being shown at every level and, quite frankly, I believe our hearts are wounded every day as we observe this taking place before our very eyes.

It is excruciating to stand by and watch those with the greatest power appear to remain unscathed by their betrayals of our country, our laws, and our norms. I shudder to think what conclusions our youth are drawing when they see adults – and some with very high status within our country (military, elected, and appointed individuals) – acting like petulant bullies and disgusting, uncouth vandals.

Sunlight

I wish we could be like the sunflowers I saw today and simply, collectively, turn our backs on these people. I’m afraid the only way for us to do that is in the voting booth.

What’s scary is that these bullies are doing their level best to undermine our belief in the sun of democracy: the voting systems in our country. They’re trying to fool us all by saying the sun no longer shines and fooling us into installing spotlights instead. Then, all at once, they plan to turn out the lights and allow chaos to ensue.

We’re at a huge moment in our country’s evolution. And we all need to be paying attention. Much as we wish we could turn our backs on the insanity and disrespect, we mustn’t. It hurts to watch it unfold, but we must not stand in denial of what’s unfolding before our eyes. We need to see it; we need to call it out; and we must do everything we can to reclaim the truth of the sun.

(T-121)

Timelessness – Day 782

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Spartacus Greets the New Year – Photo: L. Weikel

Timelessness

Maybe it was the way the sunshine of the morning was almost imperceptibly overtaken by a gray comforter of overcast. The sleet that started prickling us as we rounded the final turn of our walk hastened our gait. The warmth of our fireplace beckoned. A sense of timelessness set in as daylight dimmed so dramatically that we had to check the time. Had we lost a few hours somewhere?

Was it the weather? Was it the arrival of the first day of the year on a Friday – giving us a full weekend to get used to the fact that we’re no longer under the spell of 2020?

Was it the haunting memory of last night’s images of a nearly empty Times Square?

Out of Sight

If you are lucky enough not to be part of the front line troops in our most recent war, it was almost possible to imagine life unfolding in any configuration you might want to fantasize today. The cranky closeness of the clouds was the perfect screen upon which you could project any fantasy of reality you might want to conjure.

That’s such a strange facet of our reality right now. We have the world at our fingertips. But we also have the ability to cut ourselves off from the vast majority of it. For instance, living out in the country as I do, it’s a fact that if I choose not to look at my phone or computer or turn on my television, I can remain in total ignorance of the chaotic lives hundreds of thousands of people are living (and thousands are losing) every single day as a result of this pandemic.

It feels disrespectful and cold-hearted to realize that ‘out of sight, out of mind’ is both so easily employed and radically true in our country. Especially when you hear people saying that Covid-19 is a ‘hoax’ simply because they don’t know anyone who’s sick or died from it. Yet.

I’ve written before about my sense that it’s part of my personal responsibility as a member of society to maintain an awareness of what’s unfolding in our lives politically and otherwise. I’ve also written that it’s essential to maintain a healthy balance. We can become so consumed by anything (whether we judge that thing to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’) that it can do us harm by making us oblivious to the rest of our lives.

Cocoon

Today, though, with the weird color of the daylight and the remarkable quiet when we took our walk, it was stunningly easy to imagine the world to be much different than I know in my heart it is.

Perhaps there is some merit to total withdrawal every now and then. If we project onto our personal screens of overcast clouds a vision of a world where people honestly care as much about their fellow Earthlings as they do about themselves, maybe it will matter.

I can say one thing for sure. I could use another couple days of timelessness and projection of a better world. I’m glad we still have the weekend ahead of us.

Be well. Take care of yourselves. Spread love and kindness, not virus.

(T-329)

Overwhelm – Day 346

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Dark Clouds – Photo: L. Weikel

Overwhelm

I’m feeling it.

Is it just me?

I feel as though I’ve been amazingly fortunate, the past 345 days or so, to almost always discover something to write about. At least something that was not akin to what my husband Karl has more than once very unhelpfully suggested to me as he headed to bed, leaving me on the couch with laptop at the ready:

“Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy…”

(That’s a reference to Stephen King’s The Shining, in case you either had no idea what I meant by that or thought ‘Jack Nicholson,’ yet couldn’t quite place it.)

Stuck

Yeah, I’m feeling that, too. But no, I’m drawn to explore the overwhelm  a bit further.

While I try not to talk politics a lot in my posts, sometimes the state of our country seeps into my writing. It’s hard to ignore. It’s hard to pretend that what’s happening at the highest levels of our government isn’t having a ripple effect both worldwide and on the most personal of levels.

Worldwide

On the world stage, the stunning selfishness and corruption has resulted in us betraying our allies, which of course – aside from becoming an immediate cause of death for many – will lead to others being wary of teaming up with us in the future. We’re no longer the sure thing. We’re no longer the country that aspires to be the world leader in all things just, admirable, innovative, and courageous.

We’ve lost our moral authority. (And yes, I know; we’ve not been perfect by any means. But overall? We’ve been a beacon of hope, light, and freedom to the world.

I’m feeling a sense of overwhelming despair that this is no longer true.

There’s a naïve part of me that chirps, “But as soon as we prove that we will not tolerate such blatant corruption, that our system of checks and balances will curb the egregious excesses and abuses of power, surely the rest of the world will ‘come back’ to working with us?!”

As each day unfolds, I’m feeling a despair in the pit of my self. I’m starting to despair that we can recover our stature. And I am not the despairing type. Yet…

Our Personal Microcosms

On the most personal of levels, I’m also feeling the overwhelm that’s blanketing all of us. Every day we’re confronted with a fire hose of revelations of how more and more and more ‘norms’ are just flagrantly ignored.

Norms – ways of behaving in a civil society that we, as a culture, take for granted and therefore do not need to legislate (i.e., we don’t need to create laws or rules that explicitly state what is right or wrong) – create a fundamental security. They’re sort of the ‘everybody knows what a red light or a stop sign means’ coupled with ‘we can rely on people stopping at these.’

I’m not saying that we, either personally or culturally, should become slaves to norms. I’m almost always behind a little well-intentioned effort to shake things up now and again.

It’s the Relentlessness

But the constant, day in and day out, flagrant and deliberate flaunting of norms is debilitating to our personal psyches. It’s wearing us all out. Even the people who chant inane tropes at rallies are, if they pay attention to their lives and their mental, emotional, and physical health, being worn the hell out by the constant barrage of uncertainty and unkindness, disrespect and despair.

Norms of polite society are disintegrating. People are starting, more and more, to just do what they want. There’s a growing disregard for simply doing the right thing for the right thing’s sake.

Yikes; this got dark.

I’m hoping this ‘overwhelm’ will pass quickly. It’s beating the hell out of my normally optimistic and idealistic nature. And while I suspect many of you are feeling it too, I do have to wonder: Is it just me?

I’ll do my best to bring a better game tomorrow.

(T-765)