Ides of March – ND #96

Et tu, Brute? – Photo: L. Weikel

Ides of March

We’re starting a new week. I wonder what’s in store for us, collectively, as the week begins with the Ides of March? (Well, technically the Ides are on Tuesday, but close enough.) And then, only three days later, the moon reaches her fullness – bringing who knows what to completion and conclusion? And then, one day after that, the Spring Equinox.

That’s the thing about time – it just keeps on keeping on. Sometimes it feels like it’s whizzing by and other times it feels like we’re in an inescapable slog through quicksand. It’s even deceptive in the sense that it may feel like we’re living in an interminable, static loop and then suddenly, we look around and realize everything has changed.

It feels like the coming week could be one of those. One that feels like nothing is changing and yet when we reach its end, we’ll look back and realize everything has.

A Guide for the Week

Given that this week holds the potential for a lot of upheaval and change, I thought I’d choose a card for us to have as a guide to what’s in store as the week unfolds. No matter what happens, perhaps this card – and its foundation – can help us make sense of the chaos.

The deck I decided to pull from is The Naked Heart Tarot* by Jillian C. Wilde.

Two of Swords – Naked Heart Tarot* – (c) Jillian C. Wilde

Main Card: Two of Swords ~ “Inner Struggle”

“Two swords are tied up with an anchor, suggesting that in order to move forward, you need to make a decision that may be weighing heavily upon you.

The Message:  The Two of Swords represents a time when you are battling with a decision on how to best move forward. You feel so anchored by the weight of a choice or point of view that it slowly pulls you down, and keeps you stuck. You may feel roped to an internal struggle between your head and your heart, not knowing which has your best interest in mind. Your heart may already know what to do, but you are feeling unable to let your guard down and commit without having all the information needed to make a comfortable decision. Sometimes, a choice just needs to be made, and it takes a leap of faith. No matter how hard or painful the choice is, you must make it. Once it is made, you must anchor yourself to the choice. It is the only way to move forward with peace and a new beginning. Ultimately you can make no wrong decision. Under the guidance of the Universe, you will always be nudged back to where you belong.”

Ten of Swords – Naked Heart Tarot* – (c) Jillian C. Wilde

Foundation Card (Underneath): Ten of Swords ~ “Resolve and Release”

“The rat lies on its side as ten swords are driven down from above piercing its spirit, hinting that the end is near.

The Message: The Ten of Swords represents a time of completion when a much-needed ending to a conversation, idea or discussion is necessary. You’ve already been through every detail, argument, theory, and solution there is to offer, and now you are starting to cycle through them again. Rat energy reminds you that it is time to purge old ways and victim mentality, release the clutter and the story attached to the situation, so you can allow room for new beginnings. Going back through it and over it all will not bring you any closer to resolution. It is time to get to the heart of the wound, and cut out the drama, and bring things to completion. Time to release and let it go. Agree to disagree or just bury it in the past, so at this stage, you can more forward. You may feel a sense of resistance or sadness as you go through the process, but it is also an opportunity to reflect upon valuable insights. All is not lost, it is a chance to drop the weight of the mental baggage that has cut so deeply into you, give it to the Universe and let it go. The worst is over.”

My Take

These cards almost certainly have application in one form or another to our own individual lives and circumstances, since we’re each a microcosm of the macrocosm (living out those adages “as above, so below” and “as within so without”). But the broader implication, the prospect of even weightier decisions becoming necessary regarding global circumstances, is obvious.

It seems to me that the longer we postpone making the choices we fear (but which inevitably must be made), the anchor only becomes heavier.

The hope I see in these cards (and there is some) is the prospect for peace in the top card – and the realization that the worst is over in the foundation card. But for the worst to be over, the difficult choice must be made.

Let’s hold in our hearts a vision that the ‘powers that be’ make the highest and best choice for all of us, individually, nationally, and culturally, for humanity, the Earth, and all Her children. We just might be at that place in our evolution.

*affiliate link

(T+96)

Confession – Day 932

Snail? Slug – Photo: L. Weikel

Confession

“Confession is good for the soul,” they say. I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know I’m not big on blowing smoke up people’s behinds, especially when it comes to my own actions. So I’m determined to make sure the record, such as it is, is right.

I wrote yesterday about fulfilling the task before me, which at least in that instance was about cleaning out and getting rid of filing cabinets’ worth of piles, records, and paperwork.

I mentioned that it was hard work. And I admitted that a lot of time had gone by since I last attempted to clear this stuff out. But this time – this time – I was ready to tackle it.

Well, I bailed. I know I need to do it, and I really thought for sure I was going to accomplish my mission today, but I didn’t.

I was lulled into a delicious sense of gratitude for the day when I sat outside just after noon and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. My bones were initially still chilled from the rawness of the past two days until I went outside to fill the birdfeeders and took a peek at the blue sky trying to return to prominence.

Not Up For It

As much as I was psyched to accomplish my goal yesterday I was not-so-psyched to do it today. I took one look at the files pertaining to an accident Karl had that by all rights probably should’ve killed him in 2008 (but only broke a couple of bones) and I felt my resolve stall. I particularly bristled at the memory of the disgusting doctor at a local rehabilitation hospital who prescribed Oxycontin to him over my objections. I literally had to get in her face to get her to back down on the seemingly cavalier – if not deliberate – over-medication of my son.

But I digress. Or maybe I don’t.

Do I just destroy these records? Why would I want to keep them? What purpose would that serve? Who would ever be interested in them and why?

My eyes moved half an inch to rest upon the information documenting his acceptance to New York University and all of the drama associated with that. (Literally – as he ended up auditioning and being accepted into the Tisch School of the Arts as a Drama major.) Such seemingly pivotal choices and decisions, all documented in black and white. So much excitement. So much promise.

Snail’s Pace

Nope.

I didn’t have it in me today. While I’m sure no one will care about any of these things in the future, I didn’t have it in me to send them through the shredder today.

Maybe tomorrow.

I know it’s stuff I don’t need to hang on to. I know I need to walk my talk and let go of the past.

But today my resolve to move forward slowed to the pace of the snail (or was it a slug?) I encountered as I took a walk later in the day.

Photo: L. Weikel

(T-179)