creativity

Contemplating – Day 1107

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On My Walk Today – Photo: L. Weikel

Contemplating

I’ll admit it: I’m contemplating shamelessly exploiting more of my pets to avoid sitting with and exploring the unsettled feelings that are coming up for me. And that’s kind of a weird thing. Not shamelessly exploiting my pets, of course. If you’ve been reading my posts for any length of time, you know I do that with abandon. Indeed, whenever I’m at a loss for something to write about, I look to my four legged friends to bail me out.

No, what’s weird is the fact that I seem to be avoiding altogether the task of excavating and reflecting upon my feelings as I approach the completion of my 1111 Devotion. So I’m left with this creeping sense of dread that if I don’t look for the meaning, it will have meant nothing at all.

But even that feels disingenuous. I committed to this Act of Power to find some small way to honor the life and creativity of my son. I did it as an act of devotion to the relationship I lost when he died. I did it because I wanted to acknowledge the hole he left in my heart – in my life – and those of his father and brothers as well. And I know there are others out there who loved him – and miss him – as well.

Taken today, too – Photo: L. Weikel

Regret

There are days when I regret my failure to create something truly meaningful and enduring to remember Karl by. He was passionate about feeding people and caring for the un-housed. He had that uncommon generosity of sharing what little he had with those who had less. I’m keenly aware that I barely even wrote about these societal challenges, much less did anything to alleviate them.

Many families that lose a child seem to turn their tragedy into an instrument of good. Their efforts range from establishing foundations to counter the gun lobby, or raising money to research SIDS, or creating better systems to feed the food insecure or to bring tiny homes to communities.

I stand in awe of mothers who create legacies of this kind.

So, no. I don’t put a lot of stock in the fact that I stayed up late 1111 nights in a row to write about stuff. From what I saw on my walks in nature that day to my reactions to the slow-moving coup we call our daily lives (in the U.S. and world-wide, sadly), my missives covered some pretty mundane, albeit occasionally fanciful subjects. And what I’m realizing in this moment is that they were, for the most part, a pretty far cry from creative. So much for honoring Karl’s prodigious creativity and irreverence.

Don’t Get Me Wrong

Lest I leave you with the sense that I regret this effort, please, let me assure you, that’s not the case. I think I can safely say my skills at iPhone photography alone have benefited significantly. So right there is an artistic and creative aspect to this project that I didn’t foresee.

And beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most amazing aspect to this 1111 Devotion was the dedication displayed by so many of you. By making a point to read my posts each day (and sometimes having to go to Facebook to find the daily missive or search directly on my website), each of you engaged in an Act of Power yourselves.

I can’t thank you enough for being such steadfast companions on this journey.

(Hmmm. Well, this was a surprise. I guess I’ll exploit my pets tomorrow night instead. I still have three more posts to write!)

The sky was quite expressive – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-4)

New Moon In Scorpio – Day 1088

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Tonight’s Sky Without the Moon – Photo: L. Weikel

New Moon In Scorpio

I’m sitting here on my couch anticipating this final new moon of my 1111 Devotion. Specifically, the new moon in Scorpio will occur tomorrow: Thursday, 4 November 2021, at 5:14 p.m. EDT. I feel like I should be planting the seeds for the next chapter in my life.

Perhaps that sounds a bit hyperbolic. Maybe it is. But it’s how I feel and what I’m contemplating as I sit here listening to the silence. For one thing, as I pointed out above, this new moon is taking place in Scorpio, the sign of death and rebirth, hidden or buried treasures, resources, and secrets.

Obviously, one thing that will die during the upcoming lunation is my 1111 Devotion. It comes to an end this month. Will the commitment, the Act of Power, the dedication and devotion it represents to the memory of my son find another expression? Will my 1111 Devotion die in one sense yet find rebirth in another form?

I don’t know. I’ve yet to receive any inspiration or direction from Spirit powerful enough for me to sit back and say, “Yup. That’s it. That’s my next devotion.”

So I wait.

A Card For Inspiration or Guidance

Perhaps choosing a card for this New Moon (I’ll capitalize it in this sentence – it wants to feel special) will give me a clue or serve as an inspiration? As I’ve been working a lot with my Witches’ Wisdom Tarot deck this year, I feel drawn to work with it tonight.

As I sat here shuffling, I held as my intention the question, “What seed can I plant at this time that will serve as the next expression of my devotion to Karl’s life? How can I continue to honor him and his memory?”

Ace of Air – Witches’ Wisdom Tarot* by Phyllis Curott

Ace of Air

At first glance, I’m struck by how similar the background of the card resembles the two photos I took of the night sky this evening as Karl, the pups, and I took a quick walk. It is indeed the time of the approaching Dark Moon. The absence of the moon’s brilliant reflected light allowed the artistry of the clouds and stars to fill us with wonder and awe.

To me, an Ace represents a gift, a seed, a new beginning. So I’m delighted that an Ace appeared as an inspiration for this new moon and the larger purpose of my intention. The nature of the seed I’m being asked to plant? Just from looking at the card and knowing that the element of Air is associated with thoughts and the mind, I suppose it could signify a new project ‘of the mind.’

Magical Sky of the Dark Moon – Photo: L. Weikel

A Few More Details

Of course, the main element of the card (beyond the backdrop of the starry evening sky) is the Celtic harp created from bones. I’m not sure in this moment what those bones signify (or if it’s even Celtic), but they feel sturdy and somehow fundamental. The spurs on the bones? Or are they claws? I’m not sure what they signify – perhaps when I read the narrative from the deck’s creator I’ll understand better what inspired her (and her illustrator) to include them in this image.

There is a sturdiness to the three sides of this musical instrument that sends vibrations, if not melody and beauty, out into the world. It reminds me of how I felt for the first seven years of Karl’s life – that we were a “Sacred Three.” And then of course, with the arrival of M and S, our sons themselves were our Sacred Three.

I’m also keenly aware of the Spider spinning the 13th string of the instrument. Grandmother Spider is the creator of the Universe and thus is the ultimate representative of creativity. The strings also seem to be incorporating the stars, which somehow feels significant. And 13 is a wonderfully sacred number associated with the Feminine and the Goddess – not to mention that Karl was born on a 13th.

Each of the bones comprising the Harp is of a different part of the body. Are they all related to the legs, perhaps signifying movement? Are they even all human – or are any of them? I’m not sure. Again, those talons or claws feel significant.

When I really look closely at this card, I notice something red in the upper left corner of the harp. I’m not sure what it is. And this obvious instrument of great power is sitting atop a grassy hill –  evoking a sense of it being an offering to the sky and the stars…and maybe even the Universe.

Sleep On It

I’m going to sleep on the details I’ve noticed in this image and reflect upon this card’s message as the new moon occurs. Perhaps tomorrow night I’ll share what ‘the book’ has to say. Something may be dying, but surely a rebirth is also on its way. What will this new moon in Scorpio inspire you to end…and begin?

*affililate link

(T-23)

Full Moon Fox – Day 897

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Fox Kit – Photo: L. Weikel

Full Moon Fox

Oh! I am so excited to share with you the amazing gift I received today. Just take a look at this adorable full moon Fox kit that I encountered on our walk this evening.

Spartacus and I elected to do the longer walkabout today, while Karl agreed to meet us halfway. I can tell you, he was one bummed out guy when I showed him the photos I’m including in this post. This is the second time Spartacus and I have stumbled upon a baby fox on one of our walks – and Karl missed both times.

I also managed to video the kit, or pup, when it trotted out of the drainage ditch and looked directly at me without an ounce of fear. It even turned and faced me head on, with obvious curiosity, when I called to it in my ‘babies and small animals’ voice. Maybe I’ll try to recall how to post the clip to my YouTube account. (I hate how I post to YouTube so seldom that it’s like reinventing the wheel every time I want to do it.)

Photo: L. Weikel

Perfect Timing

As you can imagine, I was especially lucky to encounter the kit when and where I did. As Spart and I crested the biggest hill on our walkabout, a stone barn is situated close to the edge of the single lane road we’re on at that point. It just so happened that I could see the kit emerging from the grassy culvert – but Spartacus couldn’t! He was too close to the ground and a low stone wall shielded his view.

Spartacus is such a good boy (and admittedly a little slower on the uptake than he used to be) that I was able to put the leash on the ground and stand on it, freeing up my hands to take the photos and video. He was happily oblivious for the most part, although he did act slightly suspicious when I used my sing-song voice to call to the baby fox.

Handsome Profile – Photo: L. Weikel

Two In Two Days

Perhaps Fox is trying to get my attention. Just the night before, we were walking beside a field about two miles away from this sighting (as the crow flies), when I saw what appeared to be a deer laying down in the field. I commented to Karl how weird it was that we would see deer laying in the middle of a field two days in a row – when suddenly we saw the ‘deer’ start to lope across the field. Nope! It was a fox; a full grown one at that.

I was frustrated at that sighting because the fox was so far away, it was but an auburn smudge in the photo I took. And I would never have guessed I’d be so fortunate as to ‘run into’ this little one only a day later.

Perspective – Photo: L. Weikel

A Message?

Of course, I’m very familiar with the “camouflage” message of Fox described in Medicine Cards* by Jamie Sams and David Carson. But tonight I feel especially drawn to the words of Ted Andrews in his book Animal-Speak. He describes the “Keynote” of Fox as “Feminine magic of camouflage, shapeshifting and invisibility” and its “Cycle of Power” as “Nocturnal, Dawn, and Dusk.” And while he provides seven pages of information on the various attributes Fox has that might bear reflection and integration into a person’s life who has Fox medicine or to whom Fox appears, this seemed relevant just now:

“The fox has a long history of magic and cunning associated with it. Because it is a creature of the night, it is often imbued with supernatural power It is often most visible at the times of dawn and dusk the “Between Times” when the magical world and the world in which we live intersect. It lives at the edges of forests and open land – the border areas. Because it is an animal of the “Between Times and Places,” it can be a guide to enter the Faerie Realm. Its appearance at such times can often signal that the Faerie Realm is about to open for the individual.”

Hmmm. Cool message to receive on the night of this full moon. Thank you, Full Moon Fox!

Full “Super Moon” in Scorpio – Photo: L.Weikel

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(T-214)

Natural Sistine Chapel – Day 872

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Photo: L. Weikel

Natural Sistine Chapel

It’s been a while since I’ve written about the clouds on our walk. At least, it seems as though the clouds themselves have been rather tame, yielding their creativity to sunsets and lunar appearances. This afternoon, though, my sense was that the long cloud drought is over. The piles and platters and weird shapes and colors are moving in for the season. And kicking things off? When I took these photos earlier this afternoon, I felt a vague sense of déjà vu and a sense that I was walking in a natural Sistine Chapel.

I know my interpretations of clouds are sometimes ‘out there.’ And I guess that’s part of what I’m trying to bring into our collective awareness: our imagination’s power to see and embrace magic. Oftentimes this ‘magic’ is simply the process of giving ourselves permission to play with patterns and associations our brains and subconscious minds might make that actually point to pieces of a larger puzzle that is our life.

The photo above, as I said, reminds me of the Sistine Chapel – yes, the iconic work on the ceiling.

When I looked at these clouds today, I could feel the potential of conveying the spark of life. I could sense the reaching out, the effort to make a connection between one being and another.

Photo – L. Weikel

Close-up

Oddly enough, to my mind at least, I found the close-up of the ‘hands,’ so to speak, were almost upstaged by the splash of pure, brilliant white that seemed entirely out of place.

I’m not exactly sure what I make of the close-up. Or the splash of white.

But I do know I’m delighted to welcome back into our everyday experience more appearances by the Cloud Beings.

They are like pilates for my imagination. And imagination and creativity are the stuff – the spark – of life.

On second thought, maybe I’m seeing something from Monty Python?

(T-239)

Quiet Times – Day 815

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Stalking the Sunset – Photo: L.Weikel

Quiet Times

Most of the walks Karl and I have taken over the past few days have been in silence. Sometimes that happens because we’ve had an argument and neither one of us wants to speak to the other. Other times, though – the peaceful quiet times – we’re often walking in awed silence, overwhelmed by the cacophony of colors and configurations Nature paints before our eyes.

Tonight was one of those peaceful quiet times.

We both were lucky enough to be ending a day in which we found ourselves lost in our work. Lost in that positive sense of becoming so immersed in what we were doing that hours slipped by without notice. Even better, our enchantment was a result of focusing on matters that foster creative thought, new horizons, and whisper of possible adventures.

And so it was when we pulled our heads from the clouds and looked at each other across the room, with Spartacus expectantly glancing from one to the other of us, that we realized he was jonesing for a walk. What time was it? Suddenly we realized we might miss another sunset if we didn’t drop everything at that very moment and get ourselves outside now.

Photo: L. Weikel

Widdershins

Oh, but when we walked outside, the condition of the western sky defied description. It went without saying that I would try to capture at least some of the meteorological artistry for later, for now, but to do would entail ‘going widdershins.’

Going widdershins simply means walking (or whatever) counterclockwise – not unlike unscrewing a jar. We are admittedly creatures of habit, Karl and I. We mostly walk clockwise. But every once in a while – even energetically – it’s a healthy thing to walk in the opposite direction than we usually do. It gives us an opportunity to let things go, to see our usual route from a different perspective, to loosen things up. It’s a simple part of a healthy energetic practice.

None of those were the foundation of my suggestion we go widdershins tonight, though. No. I suggested it because I knew the sunset wouldn’t wait for us to make it around to my favorite spot for sky snapping. Any chance of capturing even the briefest of breathless moments would have to be deliberately stalked.

So we did. And we were rewarded.

Winter Sunset – Photo: L. Weikel

Hardest Part

The hardest part of our walk this evening was choosing which photos to send to my laptop for inclusion in this post. Sharing tonight’s peaceful quiet time was a balm to my soul. I’m pretty sure Karl feels the same. He didn’t say – but the sunset reflected in his smiling eyes.

(T-296)

Drastically Different – Day 752

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Photo: L. Weikel

Drastically Different

Walking this evening in the brilliant clarity of late fall atmosphere, I noticed the simple beauty of this tree growing alongside the road. Both branches part of the same trunk, I couldn’t help but notice how drastically different were the paths they were growing along.

One seemingly chose to take the straight up path, while the other chose the scenic route.

The stark difference in the appearance of these branches brought me up short. I’m not even sure why. Perhaps because they’re growing from the same trunk and it would at least appear from my perspective that they haven’t been exposed to substantial differences in environmental stresses.

So what in the world would cause one to go all swirly and creative, while its sibling just buckled down and got to work at the business of reaching for the sky?

Nature vs. Nurture

If these branches were human, we might attribute the differences in their ‘personalities’ to…what? Their nature? Their inherent souls, which even if their bodies were identical would still encourage development of their own unique, creative characteristics?

Is that possible with trees? Could it be that each branch of this tree has its own way of reaching for the sun? Might the curly branch be yearning for its individual expression along the same lines as Jonathan Livingston Seagull* did, while the straight branch just did what was expected?

These are the paths my mind wanders sometimes takes when we walk in darkness.

Photo: L.Weikel

*affiliate link

(T-359)

Weird Thing at the CSA – Day 681

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 Grandmother Walking With Cane – Photo: L. Weikel

Weird Thing at the CSA

I have to admit, it’s tough trying to think of something to write when I’m in the midst of feeling anything I write is a waste of time. This isn’t a denigration of my writing per se, but more a commentary on the futility I’m feeling as I simply observe life outside the confines of my own little homestead. While I’m busy acting like Homer Simpson quietly backing into the hedges in order to blend into the background, it’s rather counter-intuitive for me to be speaking out about anything substantive. Which is why I want to tell you about the weird thing at the CSA today.

I’m not the actual owner of the CSA share this year; that honor belongs to my daughter-in-law and son. But I occasionally go to the farm to pick up their order (which they generously share with us) when they’re otherwise disposed. Every time I’ve gone this season, part of my duties have entailed walking into the field to the ‘pick-your-own’ section, which includes (or at least used to) a wide variety of cherry tomatoes, okra, raspberries, hot peppers, and flowers.

Ah, the flowers. Simply lovely. I forgot to take a photo earlier of those I picked today, which is unfortunate. But the reason I neglected to document the bouquets of loveliness was because I became distracted by a tall, naturally occurring piece of modern art in the midst of the pick-your-own.

Shhhh – Photo: L. Weikel

Don’t Know How I Missed It

I’d just completed my harvesting rounds this afternoon when I laid eyes for the first time on this odd declaration of Mother Earth’s vegetative creativity. My first thought was, “How did I miss seeing this every other time I’ve been here?”

I still remain ignorant on that score, as well as on the simple identification of the vegetation itself.

“You’re getting heavy” – Photo: L. Weikel

But I managed to take a few shots of it from a variety of angles so you can gain a first-hand appreciation of this natural ‘installation’ gracing the Tinicum CSA’s ‘pick-your-own’ field.

I’m not even going to wax rhapsodic about what I ‘see’ when I look at this wonderfully weird plant. I’ll just leave it here for you to enjoy. Allow it to inspire you to seek out the creative source in your vegetation as well.

I am still puzzling over how I could’ve missed seeing this every other time I visited this field. Maybe I saw it today for the first time because of the magic of the Autumn Equinox?!

Playing Piggyback – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-430)

Lightning Strikes Twice – Day 369

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Lightning Strikes Twice

It’s the mountain.

There’s something in the water.

It’s the Nature Beings who inhabit this place.

Miraculous

Whatever it is, it’s miraculous.

I’m back in the wilds of the Blue Ridge Mountains in western North Carolina, at Amadell, and magic is unquestionably afoot. Remember my first astonishing attempt at painting back in August?

How else to explain the astonishing transformation of a blank canvas to this:

Step 1 – Photo: L. Weikel

To this:

Step 2 – Photo: L. Weikel

To this:

Step 3 – Photo: L. Weikel

To this:

Step 4 – Photo: L. Weikel

To this:

Step 5 – Photo: L. Weikel

To this:

Step 6 – Photo: L. Weikel

To the final product, which you see as the main photo of this post, all in the span of about 4.5 hours?

It’s the Teacher

I’m convinced I could not create in this manner if I were not here where I am and if I didn’t have my friend Luz standing beside me, painting, cajoling, giving me hints, and encouraging me every step of the way.

If you want to feel a startling sense of accomplishment and take a blasting cap to your creativity, come to Amadell and book yourself some Luz time.

You will be a-m-a-z-e-d.

(T-742)

Belated Homage to All Hallow’s Eve – Day 355

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Halloween Hellions – Photo: L. Weikel

Belated Homage to All Hallow’s Eve 

Funny how things work out.

Due to a mid-month impromptu visit from afar, we ended up having an early pumpkin-carving extravaganza this year. (Early, late – sometimes we end up not carving at all.)

Creativity ran thick in the air a few weeks ago, and we amassed quite the collection of most excellent hollowed creations.

Lest I be accused of failing to share these masterpieces, I offer photos of them in this post.

The ‘funny’ about my first sentence lay in the fact that, while everything was carved so far ahead of time, because of a couple days of very mild weather, nothing survived until the actual day of Halloween.

The Creations

T.D.’s Dragon – Photo: L. Weikel

S.A.’s Cheshire Cat – Photo: L. Weikel

Anonymous’s Green Ghoul – Photo: L. Weikel

My Contribution

I bowed out of the festivities this year. However, given this cool article on the origins of jack-o-lanterns, I feel it’s only right to give a shout out to my very – odd – carrot (I.M. Carrot), who most definitely could’ve gone really creepy if I’d permitted it.

Ha ha ha ha.

(T-756)

Mulling – Day 285

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Photo: L. Weikel

Mulling

Ever since I acquiesced to my friend Luz’s insistence that I at least try my hand at painting with her, the question of whether I would ever give myself the chance to do it again has lurked at the back of my mind.

I wrote about how much fun I had when I finally let myself do it in this post. And I revealed the ‘fruits,’ as I called them in this post.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say thank you to all of you, by the way, for the many kind and complimentary comments to that post in particular.

A Trip to the Art Store

The truth at this very moment is that I couldn’t, even on a whim, try my hand at creating another painting. Why? Because I have no canvases and I have no acrylics. Ostensibly I have access to (Karl’s) brushes, but I have a healthy dose of skepticism with respect to the shape in which I’ll find those. I think I’d rather have my own stuff anyway.

Because we seem to do things almost entirely opposite each other, it comes as no surprise that the medium Karl seems to prefer (oils) is much more complicated than the medium I just experienced. Ideally, I’d like to stick with what I know, which – of course – necessitates a trip to an art supply store – stat.

Triggers Even More

Oooh, just even the thought of going to an art store brings a flood of memories. I used to get such a thrill out of shopping at the art store for young Karl. Birthday, Christmas, it didn’t matter what event we were celebrating – I’d always have a gift from the art store at the ready. Nothing was going to come between my kid and his creativity if I could help it.

My two favorite stores: the office supply store and the art supply store.  I just have to laugh.

Do I Want to Risk It?

That’s what I pretty much have to ask myself. Do I want to risk revealing that the paintings I created as I stood side-by-side with Luz were an astonishing case of ‘beginners’ luck?’ It would be easy to simply revel in the first two.

It would be easy to never do it again – just as it was easy for me to put Luz off (for a while, at least).  It’s interesting – I could even feel myself getting just a tiny bit irritated by my friend’s insistence that I give this medium a try. “Just play, Lisa. Please? Do it for me.”

And I have to ask myself: why would I – why did I – give it a try for her and not for myself?

(T-826)