corruption

Trouble – Day 1081

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Trouble – Photo: L. Weikel

Trouble

Look at the photo above. Brutus is flirting with disaster. And Cletus is providing an almost irresistible target. No matter which way you look at it, trouble seems to be the most probable outcome.

While the expression on Brutus’s face is kind of cute, the energy of this photo sort of captures how I’m feeling at the moment. I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it almost physically painful to even look at headlines.

With all the harbingers of a truly horrific downfall of our country beating us over the head, day after day, I am gobsmacked that a handful of people are essentially holding us back from taking a huge leap forward in reclaiming our status as an enlightened country. It literally hurts my heart to contemplate how selfish and bought these so-called representatives (Senators) are to be refusing to allow progressive ideals even the opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives.

Honestly, I find myself without words and feeling despair in my heart.

Anyone Else?

It just feels like we’ve been through so much – and there’s no respite, no blue sky. We never get the chance to see our ideas and ideals implemented. We never get to see what exercising compassion at the root of our country’s actions would yield.

And all the while, the rich not only get richer – they get obscenely richer. And two people who profess to be part of the party that wants to implement change for the vast majority of our country – just two – have the power to derail what millions of people voted for last year.

There’s no point in me even writing about any of this. I know. And that simple fact takes my breath away.

That Light

I don’t know why I’m compelled to write from such a dismal place this evening. Thank goodness I’ve had puppies to focus upon lately, I guess. Because Spartacus’s sudden death knocked the wind out of me. And the utter intransigence we’re witnessing in Washington D.C. right now is having a similar effect. It’s sucking the hope right out of my sails.

The light I think so many of us felt last November is turning out to be, in all seriousness, the headlight of an oncoming bullet train that’s going to demolish the United States – at least the U.S. we were raised to believe we were.

I feel powerless to stop it and – damn, I have to say – I loathe feeling powerless.

Something needs to change. The system as it exists now has been so corrupted by dark money (and light money – and money of every shade in between) that the country we thought we had no longer exists. And if hope is extinguished in most of us?

Trouble will have found its home.

Beauty in spite of it all – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-30)

Fork – Day 769

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A Gigantic Fork – Photo: L. Weikel

Fork

The photo above is of a gargantuan fork that’s been in our cutlery drawer for several decades. I put a pen beside it to give context to the extraordinary size of that fork. But even with that, I doubt you’re getting the full flavor of what I’m trying to convey.

But what I may be struggling to convey in the photo is actually something I sense we’re all feeling. Something we all know, at the deepest level of our being.

“Stick a fork in me; I’m done.” Or perhaps more accurately: “Stick a fork in us; we’re done.”

That’s the sentiment I’m feeling at the moment, and it’s threatening to overwhelm me. I don’t think I’m speaking solely for myself, either. Far from it.

So What’s My Deal?

I can’t say for sure. Perhaps this is part of what I ‘do’ in the world. I pay attention to what’s happening in our shared reality and do my best to hold space in my heart for others. We can’t all be on the front lines, after all. We can’t all be reporting on it, either. Not all of us are trained for – or even suited to – engaging in what, at this moment in our evolution, feels like exacting the greatest of sacrifices day in and day out.

But even though I’m not doing it myself, I’m paying attention. I’m also paying attention (on behalf of those who are so engrossed in the day to day efforts of keeping people alive and safe) to what is going on at the highest levels of our government, right before our very eyes. There is a concerted effort, it seems, to rip us asunder while we’re all preoccupied with exponential infection rates and vertical hospitalization and death rates.

While we fight for survival, we’re being taken to the cleaners. Sold out. Compromised in the worst ways. It’s a cynical and even diabolical calculation. But it must be called out. We must each do our part to end the madness.

What’s Our Deal?

We need to stay home. We need to be smart and vigilant and take this threat to our health seriously. We would be wise to pay attention to what we have and what we cherish – and resist the temptation to lament what we’re being asked to forego for a few days, weeks, or months.

We need to stick a fork in our belligerent refusal to acknowledge the astounding suffering of so many in our country (and around the world, but especially here). It’s done. It serves no one – except, perhaps, those who are banking on our preoccupation.

Things are getting worse. All the warnings about what would happen if people ignored the warnings about gathering at Thanksgiving are coming to pass. A single county in California just logged 100,000 new cases in the past week. And yet people shop and carry on – as if nothing is happening.

We can see – right before our eyes – what will happen a month from now. Only it will be worse. Guaranteed.

We need to stick a gargantuan fork in our denial of reality because it’s killing us and distracting us. We must refuse to be distracted any longer.

We’re Better Than This

It’s time to take responsibility for ourselves and each other. If there’s a strain of Covid that’s in the UK that’s spreading at a rate 70% faster than what we’re encountering now, we need to be smart. We need to take even greater precautions than what’s being asked of us. We need to stop living in denial and realize that what they’re dealing with, we’ll be dealing with in the blink of an eye.

We need to love ourselves and each other enough to realize that we’re in this together.

We need to stick a fork in our selfish ways. Ultimately, those ways are hurting us all. They’re breaking our hearts, wearing us down, and sapping our will to be kind and courageous. And perhaps worst of all, they’re serving those who want us distracted from an unprecedented power grab that could have untold implications.

We must find our will. We must be vigilant. We must find our compassion.

And we must remember: we’re better than this.

(T-342)

Blend Into the Background – Day 680

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 Marsh Wren – Blending In; Photo: L. Weikel

Blend Into the Background

Oh my goodness. The past few evenings have been quite the shock to my system! The chilly edge to the air takes my breath away and makes me feel – I don’t know – vulnerable. And I’m not even sure I could answer if you asked me, “Vulnerable to what?” It’s a rather ineffable sense. Nevertheless, I must admit, I’m feeling a strong urge to just stop, step back, and blend into the background.

Since the death of RBG, I’ve not paid quite as much attention to the news. Actually, I don’t know if that’s exactly true. It wasn’t immediately upon her passing that I withdrew from tracking the news. It was more like 18 hours later. It was when I saw that trusting Republicans to behave with any semblance of integrity or honor was fruitless and a fool’s errand.

There is no sense of decorum being exhibited by the Republicans nor is there even the remotest attempt to honor the historic recognition of the most basic of moral consistency or responsibility to telling the truth. I guess I knew it when the Senate refused to convict and remove DT for his corrupt solicitation of Ukraine. Or at least I should have known, since they broadcast their willingness to tolerate obvious malfeasance if the purveyor of that corruption would garner them more power.

Stepping Back

I’m feeling the need to step back and blend into the background. The assaults on my fundamental belief that people will inherently do what is right in matters of grave consequence are taking their toll. I am seeing with stark clarity that the acquisition and retention of power is everything to Trump Republicans. And yes, I do see a difference between Trump Republicans and the Republicans I knew growing up – my parents, just to name two off the top of my head.

The reason for feeling I must step back at this moment is because it is crystal clear that nothing will persuade Trump Republicans to act with integrity. There is no appealing to their sense of right or wrong, their sense of decency, or even their own sense of shame over blatantly bulldozing through supposed behavioral firewalls they professed that they could be held to account over.

Nothing matters to them other than accruing and wielding power. And winning. So much winning. Who cares if it’s at the expense of their integrity? Or causes the death of fellow citizens. What a laugh.

Marsh Wren going about it’s business – Photo: L. Weikel

Stop Wasting Energy

And so, blending into the background feels appropriate at this moment. Not because I’m giving up. Not because I have any intention of running away. Rather, it’s time for me (and all of us) to stop wasting energy expecting anything from them but the most selfish and self-serving choices and actions in any given situation, especially those pertaining to power in any form. Instead, we need to gather our resources.

Don’t waste your breath arguing. Don’t waste your time trying to shame them or appeal to their sense of decency. Instead, we are best served by blending into the background and strategizing how to counter the treachery. Imagine the worst case scenarios and plan for them. For they are broadcasting their intentions loud and clear. Everything they accuse Democrats of doing and plotting is precisely their own game plan. How many times must we see this play out?

Get quiet. Take a few steps back. Instead of expressing surprise yet again at their behavior and lack of character, pay careful attention. Observe what they’re broadcasting is their intention. How do we do that? Listen to what they’re screaming that Democrats will do to subvert the election. Listen to what they repeat over and over again will happen after November 3rd. Listen to the dire predictions of armed ‘insurrection.’ Why? Because that’s their  plan. They’re broadcasting it.

So we must stop, step back, blend into the background, and prepare.

Let’s get smart and stop falling for the bullshit.

(T-431)

Debate Night With Cletus – Day 471

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Cletus watching the debate – Photo: L. Weikel

Debate Night With Cletus

Ugh. I watched the debate tonight. I thought it was pretty awful. The moderators seemed to lose control from the very beginning; the candidates were petty and rude, interrupting each other and continuing to speak even though someone else clearly had the floor; and it just seemed as though the questions were barely probative of anything that really matters. Debate night with Cletus was a tremendous disappointment.

It was frustrating.

Booing

Yes, I realize this is probably a statement that completely dates me, but quite honestly, if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And no, I’m not talking about the candidates. I’m speaking of the audience members, who obviously booed Bernie Sanders repeatedly.

I don’t mind the supposedly spontaneous cheering for Mike Bloomberg, although yes, I’m cynical about its origin. But the booing was inappropriate, distracting, and staged.

Cynical? Me?

I find it astonishing that the pundits were quick to criticize Bernie Sanders for appearing “a little off” this evening. And their smug observation that perhaps he wasn’t used to being booed was pretty patronizing.

No one likes to be booed, I’m guessing. But isn’t it interesting that none of these pundits criticizing Bernie Sanders’s performance this evening thought it relevant to mention that the lowest ticket price to get into the audience of this debate was $1,750? And that some paid up to $3,200?

I’m sure that the booing of answers provided by Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren was purely coincidental to the significant financial means it took to attend tonight’s debate in person.

Money Talks

Let’s face it. We’re seeing it everywhere in our society, but no more so than in our politics. At this stage of our country’s evolution, money talks. Which means we, the people, are faced with a choice. Do we reward this craven ability of those with unlimited wealth to simply buy our attention (and our votes) by running billions of dollars’ worth of ads that create an ideal image of a candidate?

Or do we take the side of the candidates that appears before us, warts and all? One advocating the same position they have for 40 years, and another being ignored as a brazen woman who actually cares enough about the Democratic party to go after the one with unlimited funds and expose him for being far different than what he’s advertising us now?

Seems to me, that’s the candidate that cares more about adhering to fundamental ideals than even winning herself. Seems to me that might be the one I would trust most to get the job done and believe that she really will fight for regular people. Seems to me that might be the candidate who would put our needs before her own.

What a concept.

Obvious Mainstream Prejudices

I’m finding the mainstream prejudices that favor the status quo utterly remarkable. The knives sure do come out when the power brokers of the party and the pundits of the chattering class realize that they may not actually have their finger on the pulse of the people of this nation.

People want change, radical change. That couldn’t be more obvious. But the media pandered to the lowest common denominator tonight. The setting of the debate looked 100% like a game show. In fact, the candidates were actually referred to as contestants – and one of the moderators described them as vying for the role of president.

The questions that were asked were simplistic and mainly aimed at getting the candidates to throw some chairs at each other. God forbid we address the Coronavirus and the gutting of the CDC, or the corruption of the Judiciary, or the purge list of the president.

My how we have dumbed down this process.

I will allow Cletus to express my dissatisfaction with tonight’s debate:

Cletus Snarling (at the tv) – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-640)

Everything’s Relative – Day 432

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Photo: L.Weikel

Everything’s Relative

The winds that arrived last night with great bluster and clattering of wind chimes brought with them a remarkable change in temperature. Suddenly, today, it felt like January – in Pennsylvania. Not January in southern Florida, like it’s felt for a couple of weeks.

Every time I walked outside today, I caught my breath. I braced myself. My jaw clenched against the chill. The wind might not have been as insistent as it was last night, but it still had a point to make: It’s winter.

Funny thing is, the temperatures today weren’t even that raw. Not for January in Pennsylvania, anyway. They were seasonal. They were normal. They were even still a scootch or two above average, truth be told.

But the way we bundled ourselves up to take a walk earlier this evening, you’d think we were stepping onto the tundra.

What We’re Used To

I’m noticing this same ‘relative’ response to what’s being exposed at all levels of our government at the moment, but especially the federal level. If you read the more in-depth articles or look even slightly beyond the day-to-day headlines (which are bad enough), it’s hard not to feel waterlogged by the tsunami of corruption, lies, and outright greed and self-dealing that’s taking place right in front of all of us.

But the weirdest thing is how – quite literally – almost every day some new corruption is discovered. And it’s almost always something that, had this same action or relationship been revealed ten years ago, it would’ve consumed our discourse. We would’ve been so outraged that people we’d elected to represent us would behave in such a manner that, almost assuredly, those involved would’ve been called to account and whisked out of town.

Knowing What Is

I’m not going to harp on this; it’s late and I’m tired. I’m not even quite sure why I’m writing about this tonight. Perhaps it’s the cold slap of wind across my face when I let Sheila and Spartacus out to tinkle before bed.

What does it say about us and our country that our new normal is a daily serving of corruption du jour? How has our new normal become complacency over blatant lies spewing out of the highest and most respected office in our land?

What does it say about us that we now become excited when one single member of a political party that used to claim to be the standard bearer of moral integrity and rule of law stands up to this liar and says the obvious. You know, something like, “Gee, maybe it would be helpful to hear witnesses in a trial – witnesses who were expressly prohibited from testifying at an earlier proceeding by the person accused of abusing his power in the first place.”

It’s just weird when a position so obvious, so logical, so utterly essential and inherent to a fair and just proceeding would now seem outrageously risky and bold.

I, for one, abhor this new normal. And I only hope with all my heart that this new relativism is swept away by the winds of change.

(T-679)

Overwhelm – Day 346

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Dark Clouds – Photo: L. Weikel

Overwhelm

I’m feeling it.

Is it just me?

I feel as though I’ve been amazingly fortunate, the past 345 days or so, to almost always discover something to write about. At least something that was not akin to what my husband Karl has more than once very unhelpfully suggested to me as he headed to bed, leaving me on the couch with laptop at the ready:

“Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy. Jack is a very good boy…”

(That’s a reference to Stephen King’s The Shining, in case you either had no idea what I meant by that or thought ‘Jack Nicholson,’ yet couldn’t quite place it.)

Stuck

Yeah, I’m feeling that, too. But no, I’m drawn to explore the overwhelm  a bit further.

While I try not to talk politics a lot in my posts, sometimes the state of our country seeps into my writing. It’s hard to ignore. It’s hard to pretend that what’s happening at the highest levels of our government isn’t having a ripple effect both worldwide and on the most personal of levels.

Worldwide

On the world stage, the stunning selfishness and corruption has resulted in us betraying our allies, which of course – aside from becoming an immediate cause of death for many – will lead to others being wary of teaming up with us in the future. We’re no longer the sure thing. We’re no longer the country that aspires to be the world leader in all things just, admirable, innovative, and courageous.

We’ve lost our moral authority. (And yes, I know; we’ve not been perfect by any means. But overall? We’ve been a beacon of hope, light, and freedom to the world.

I’m feeling a sense of overwhelming despair that this is no longer true.

There’s a naïve part of me that chirps, “But as soon as we prove that we will not tolerate such blatant corruption, that our system of checks and balances will curb the egregious excesses and abuses of power, surely the rest of the world will ‘come back’ to working with us?!”

As each day unfolds, I’m feeling a despair in the pit of my self. I’m starting to despair that we can recover our stature. And I am not the despairing type. Yet…

Our Personal Microcosms

On the most personal of levels, I’m also feeling the overwhelm that’s blanketing all of us. Every day we’re confronted with a fire hose of revelations of how more and more and more ‘norms’ are just flagrantly ignored.

Norms – ways of behaving in a civil society that we, as a culture, take for granted and therefore do not need to legislate (i.e., we don’t need to create laws or rules that explicitly state what is right or wrong) – create a fundamental security. They’re sort of the ‘everybody knows what a red light or a stop sign means’ coupled with ‘we can rely on people stopping at these.’

I’m not saying that we, either personally or culturally, should become slaves to norms. I’m almost always behind a little well-intentioned effort to shake things up now and again.

It’s the Relentlessness

But the constant, day in and day out, flagrant and deliberate flaunting of norms is debilitating to our personal psyches. It’s wearing us all out. Even the people who chant inane tropes at rallies are, if they pay attention to their lives and their mental, emotional, and physical health, being worn the hell out by the constant barrage of uncertainty and unkindness, disrespect and despair.

Norms of polite society are disintegrating. People are starting, more and more, to just do what they want. There’s a growing disregard for simply doing the right thing for the right thing’s sake.

Yikes; this got dark.

I’m hoping this ‘overwhelm’ will pass quickly. It’s beating the hell out of my normally optimistic and idealistic nature. And while I suspect many of you are feeling it too, I do have to wonder: Is it just me?

I’ll do my best to bring a better game tomorrow.

(T-765)

I Just Can’t  – Day 246

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Tonight’s sky – Photo: L. Weikel

I Just Can’t                                      

I woke up this morning and was feeling remarkably ‘down.’ This feeling was as pervasive as it was unexpected. There was no obvious reason for it, either – dietary or otherwise.

But then, the day unfolded, and I made the mistake of reading news headlines.

I have to admit it: My stomach has been hurting all day. I’ve felt a little short of breath all day.

Honestly, I feel as though there is nowhere to look anymore that is not shocking, awful, and hateful. The blatant racism, misogyny, corruption, and deliberate attack on the rule of law being spewed and inflicted on our country is beyond the pale.

My heart hurts for our country. My heart hurts for our integrity. My heart hurts for our children – yours, mine, and everyone else’s.

My heart hurts for the soul of us all – and by that, I mean everything we stand for, believe in, and hold sacred.

If we don’t take a stand now, when everywhere we look we’re slapped in the face with vile divisiveness, cruelty, and utter corruption and self-dealing, we never will.

So Many Secrets/So Many Compromised People in Power

It broke my heart to read that so-called leaders of the Republican party such as Lindsey Graham were actually condoning Trump’s hate-filled racist rants of yesterday and today. His comments do not reflect simple policy-related differences of opinion with my own views. His comments reflect a fundamental abrogation of everything I was taught our country stands for.

Yes, I’m calling Graham out. Why? Because Donald Trump may be the biggest liar to ever cross the doorstep of the White House (and yes, I am saying with absolute lack of equivocation that he is the single biggest serial liar to ever cross the threshold of the White House), but we knew he was an ignorant con-man for decades. We knew it when he declared he was running. We’ve known it all along. All we had to do was read the background. All we had to do was open our eyes and read.

But Lindsey Graham? I remember a time when he appeared to be a man of principle. A man who had courage and integrity. So I have to say…this behavior of his, including his kowtowing to Trump since the inauguration, tells me there’s something about Lindsey Graham we don’t know. I think we have yet another example of a puppet whose strings are being pulled by a power that has the dirt.

The case that’s unfolding with Jeffrey Epstein is horrific. But you know what? I read about it at the very beginning of Trump’s candidacy. I was aware of the young girl who dropped her case because of death threats. I was aware of Alex Acosta. This has all been readily available. It is not ‘fake’ news. It is entirely documented.

This Is All About Power OVER

And it is all related. The utterly malignant foundation of so much of what goes on in our country is tied to and inextricably bound up in rampant, unabashed, unchecked, abuse of power. Power over women, power over young girls, power over little boys, power over the homeless, power over the defenseless, power over the poor, power over the black and brown in our country (and outside – you know, entire ‘shithole’ countries).

This has gone on for so long, they laugh and clink their glasses behind their billion dollar enclaves and think they’ll rule the world forever. But they’ve become sloppy, which comes from feeling they can live their exploitive, debauched existences out in the open, simply because they hold so much power.

Well, we’re the ones who have the power. We’re the ones who must look each other and ourselves in the eyes and act in a way that serves something greater.

I believe in us. But really, we must, must, must look at the raw truth of what is unfolding before our very eyes. And we must do it NOW.

Let us stand together and say “ENOUGH.”

The sun is setting on all we hold dear – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-865)