Act of Power

Full Circle – Day 1111

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 3 Comments
My Wild Son – Photo: unknown

Full Circle

I’ve been looking forward to reaching this moment and yet dreading it at the same time. We all know it’s been on my mind – it’s not as if I haven’t kept a running “T minus” count at the bottom of each post. So here it is. My Act of Power is complete. And the weirdest thing of all is how truly ‘full circle’ I’ve come. It’s more than you might think.

When I wrote my first post in the Act of Power I ended up dubbing my ‘1111 Devotion,’ all I knew was that the goal was set. I didn’t project into the future. In fact, I remember dividing 1111 by 365 just to see roughly how long my commitment would play out. And I distinctly remember wondering what day the project would end but making the conscious decision not to figure it out ‘with specificity.’ I didn’t want to consciously know the end date. In some way, I think I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. Who knew what might happen between then and now? In spite of my very best intentions, circumstances might have interrupted my efforts – so why put a date on it.

Over the past few months I began to get a sense of what the end date would be. (Yeah, I know. I’m weird.) And the fact that this effort on behalf of honoring Karl would end tonight seemed, oh, I don’t know. Too perfect.

Last Night

And so it was only last night that I finally permitted myself to pull out my journal from the time when Karl died and check some of the dates that were dancing around in my head. What I discovered may have contributed to my difficulty writing last night’s post. No. They absolutely did. My mind was going both a million miles a minute and simultaneously whirring, sort of stuck in neutral, in another time and place.

I was both rejoicing and thanking myself for keeping such detailed notes of thoughts, feelings, experiences, and messages – and also feeling a profound regret for not having kept even better records. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that I was berating myself. It was more a feeling like when you’re watching a great movie or reading a book that’s totally engrossing and yet…you want more.

On some level, I knew I’d feel this way even as I was walking through our shock and grief. That’s why I did make an effort a couple of times to write out in copious detail some of the more amazing experiences we had. But there were many, many more mundane connections and contacts made between Karl and us in the days and weeks following his drowning. One thing that apparently happened frequently – so frequently that I clearly started taking it for granted – was a classic sign of the presence of spirit: a sudden and often fleeting feeling of a cold draft or pocket of air.

Funny. I totally forgot that that happened a lot in the two weeks or so immediately following his death. And yet even other people experienced it. Even people who called me to say they felt his presence in that moment and had a word or a message to convey.

Karl holding Spartacus (approx 4 weeks old) – Photo: L. Weikel

Tip of the Iceberg

And all of this is just a taste of what I re-discovered when I went back and started reading my entries from that time. As I said above, it sent me into a reverie that, honestly, I feel I’m still in.

Indeed, a part of me wanted to try to write this final post in my 1111 Devotion ahead of time. What?!? And break with tradition? I’m pretty sure you all know I’ve written each and every post spontaneously, every night, often jettisoning an idea that had been lurking at the edge of my mind in favor of a thought, inspiration, or outrage that was simply too compelling to quell.

So no. I couldn’t write this ahead of time. And now we’re sort of stuck with this polyglot of thoughts.

YCMTSU

But of course, I must conclude with the final YCMTSU (You Can’t Make This Stuff* Up) of this 1111 Devotion. Today is November 26th 2021. Our Gathering in honor of Karl was held – you guessed it – on the Saturday following Thanksgiving in 2011: November 26th. This post, because of the way I stay up late writing and have it set up so that the email version gets batch posted at 1:00 a.m., will actually be posted on Saturday.

So yeah. Through absolutely ZERO planning or intention on my part, this 3+ year endeavor, based solely on writing 1111 consecutive posts (in tribute to his death on 11/11/11 – at or about 11:11 p.m. Pacific Time) is ENDING on 11/26 (my Friday night), but technically Saturday – the literal day on which his Gathering took place ten years ago.**

There’s More

Reading my journal entries has reminded me of some experiences that I’m still digesting, in that I honestly believe they mean more to me now than they did when they occurred. It’s almost as if they’re messages that I wrote down then but were meant for me to read and recall now.

This is something that happens a lot with dreams and shamanic journeys. That’s because time is an illusion, and sometimes we receive messages or have dreams that we know or feel are profound, but don’t really make sense in the ‘now.’ It’s only when we go back and read them weeks, months, and sometimes even years (or decades) later do they click into place.

Ah yes. Good stuff.

But in the meantime? I thank you all for sharing this epic journey with me. Knowing at least one other person (besides Karl – he has to live with me, so he was kind of obligated to at least fake it) was reading my words meant the world to me. Instead? I was blessed with so many of you.

Thank you.

Karl and I opening Sacred Space at Karl’s Gathering 10 years ago today – Photo: Ellen Naughton

*you know what I really say
**As usual whenever I mention 1111 Devotion, I added the link to the very first entry I wrote (the ‘Devotion’ post), above. For the first time in a very long time (ever?), I re-read it just now in its entirety and I see that – apparently – I DID calculate that this would end on November 26th. What I realize is that it obviously didn’t even CLICK that this would be the exact 10 year anniversary of his Gathering; and as a corollary to that, I don’t think I was counting eggs, much less any chickens, at that point. I can confidently say I never assumed I’d reach this goal without missing a day. I still can’t believe it.

(T-0)

Contemplating – Day 1107

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On My Walk Today – Photo: L. Weikel

Contemplating

I’ll admit it: I’m contemplating shamelessly exploiting more of my pets to avoid sitting with and exploring the unsettled feelings that are coming up for me. And that’s kind of a weird thing. Not shamelessly exploiting my pets, of course. If you’ve been reading my posts for any length of time, you know I do that with abandon. Indeed, whenever I’m at a loss for something to write about, I look to my four legged friends to bail me out.

No, what’s weird is the fact that I seem to be avoiding altogether the task of excavating and reflecting upon my feelings as I approach the completion of my 1111 Devotion. So I’m left with this creeping sense of dread that if I don’t look for the meaning, it will have meant nothing at all.

But even that feels disingenuous. I committed to this Act of Power to find some small way to honor the life and creativity of my son. I did it as an act of devotion to the relationship I lost when he died. I did it because I wanted to acknowledge the hole he left in my heart – in my life – and those of his father and brothers as well. And I know there are others out there who loved him – and miss him – as well.

Taken today, too – Photo: L. Weikel

Regret

There are days when I regret my failure to create something truly meaningful and enduring to remember Karl by. He was passionate about feeding people and caring for the un-housed. He had that uncommon generosity of sharing what little he had with those who had less. I’m keenly aware that I barely even wrote about these societal challenges, much less did anything to alleviate them.

Many families that lose a child seem to turn their tragedy into an instrument of good. Their efforts range from establishing foundations to counter the gun lobby, or raising money to research SIDS, or creating better systems to feed the food insecure or to bring tiny homes to communities.

I stand in awe of mothers who create legacies of this kind.

So, no. I don’t put a lot of stock in the fact that I stayed up late 1111 nights in a row to write about stuff. From what I saw on my walks in nature that day to my reactions to the slow-moving coup we call our daily lives (in the U.S. and world-wide, sadly), my missives covered some pretty mundane, albeit occasionally fanciful subjects. And what I’m realizing in this moment is that they were, for the most part, a pretty far cry from creative. So much for honoring Karl’s prodigious creativity and irreverence.

Don’t Get Me Wrong

Lest I leave you with the sense that I regret this effort, please, let me assure you, that’s not the case. I think I can safely say my skills at iPhone photography alone have benefited significantly. So right there is an artistic and creative aspect to this project that I didn’t foresee.

And beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most amazing aspect to this 1111 Devotion was the dedication displayed by so many of you. By making a point to read my posts each day (and sometimes having to go to Facebook to find the daily missive or search directly on my website), each of you engaged in an Act of Power yourselves.

I can’t thank you enough for being such steadfast companions on this journey.

(Hmmm. Well, this was a surprise. I guess I’ll exploit my pets tomorrow night instead. I still have three more posts to write!)

The sky was quite expressive – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-4)

Consecration – Day 1091

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Photo: L. Weikel

Consecration

Consecrate: verb (used with object) 1. to make or declare sacred; set apart or dedicate to the service of a deity. 2. to make (something) an object of honor or veneration; hallow. 3. to devote or dedicate to some purpose. (Dictionary.com)

As you may recall from last night’s post, while I chose the Ace of Air as my primary card, the 10 of Water was clearly a player in delivering the message. Considering that I was posing the question of “What’s next?” in the context of the impending conclusion of my 1111 Devotion and the sacred intention with which I began this process almost three years ago, I was surprised by the keyword of the 10 of Water: consecration.

Whether I ‘get’ the crux of that message tonight or in two weeks – or maybe even two years from now – what I find amazing is that the cards seem to realize the essence of my query.

The cards know that, fundamentally, this is all about making the ordinary sacred. It’s all about lighting upon an act that I might consecrate in memory of my Karl. Choosing to engage in an action which might ordinarily be viewed as routine and making it holy; making it sacred and meaningful in a way that transcends ordinary day-to-day consciousness. This is my quest.

Underneath My Ace

As I described in yesterday’s post, a few pretty salient details jumped out at me as I contemplated the illustration of the 10 of Water as depicted by the illustrator of the Witches’ Wisdom Tarot*, Danielle Barlow. There were a number of powerful symbols that had personal meaning to me and the pursuit of my spiritual path.

But again, sometimes the magic of perceiving a message being sent to us by Spirit, or even ‘just’ our own subconscious, or Higher Self, or soul is enhanced by considering all the opportunities provided us to ‘get the message.’ And that includes not only relying heavily – and primarily – on our own intuition and insight, but also availing ourselves of the nuances that lurk in the words or symbols proffered by others. For instance, the particular words and phrases used by the creator of the deck or other oracle we might be using.

10 of Water – The Witches’ Wisdom Tarot by Phyllis Curott, Illustrated by Danielle Barlow

My next step, therefore, was to consider and pay acute attention to these words:

“10 of Water – Consecration

Wisdom – Verdant, humid, and embracing, the rainforest grows. Tree and Vine, Butterfly and bright-beaked Toucan, tiny Tree Frog and fearsome, holy Jaguar peer through the leaves. Rain pours from above, pools on the ground below, seeps deep into the Earth, and rises to make everything grow. The rain is full of music – songs telling stories of this magical place that makes the world better for all of Life. The rainforest is wild and full of wonder, danger and divinity, chaos and perfection. There is Life and there is death, but there is no evil. It’s raining and everything is blessed.

Essence – Wonderment, flourishing, blessings. The rewards of feeling fully. Water of Life.

Counsel – What is the song your heart is secretly singing? What is the divine magic hiding within you? There’s no reason for self-doubts or fear. Step outside your comfort zone and into the magic of Creation. No matter how turbulent the Waters of Life may be, how hard the rain, muddy the river, or unknown the rainforest, remember, you’re made of Water, and Water makes all things grow and flourish.

Magic – Go out in the rain. Listen. What’s it saying to you? Reach out your arms and feel the Water on your skin. Stick out your tongue and drink it in. Wash your face with it. Let it bless you. Feel your heart open to all that is manifesting…”

My Interpretation

The word ‘listen’ comes up and is prominent in both cards. Abundance surrounds the question I’ve asked. Perhaps that means there are (or will be) an abundance of choices on what is the best next action for me to consecrate to my cherished son.

Again, I feel ‘patience’ is also a watchword that needs to be heeded. Yes, Spirit understands my desire to know ‘what’s next.’ But for now, my focus needs to remain on the 1111 Devotion. I must dedicate myself to successfully concluding my first Act of Power with impeccability. ‘What’s next,’ if anything, will reveal itself in perfect timing.

I will listen. And perhaps, if the stars line up just right, I’ll even open my mouth.

*affiliate link

(T-20)

Major Impetus – Day 1000

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Prize for Reaching 1,000 – Photo: L. Weikel

Major Impetus

Is something magical going to descend from above and cover me like a blanket of feathers* after I hit the ‘publish’ button tonight? Will my attitude toward my 1111 Devotion – or my writing in general – undergo a transformation once I hit the 1,000 club? I ask these questions because a major impetus behind my decision to embark upon this Act of Power was a blog post I read by Seth Godin.

As the title of that particular post implies (“The first 1,000 are the most difficult”), Seth maintains that reaching the milestone of writing 1,000 blog posts can make a huge difference in how a person perceives themselves. Understandably, this shift in perception can also significantly impact how a person approaches their concept of themselves as a writer.

My Attitude

I will admit that hitting the 1,000 mark is a bit of a stunner. It’s amusing to me that 995 posts ago, I wrote an explanation how finding Seth’s post about ‘the first 1,000’ felt like a message to me. I’d asked how I could honor Karl’s life, and in particular his creativity, and this showed up in my face. The weird thing was, I hadn’t even read it when it first arrived in my email a week or two earlier. I only saw it that morning because I accidentally clicked on it in my email.

Suffice it to say, it seemed at the time that I was getting a major nudge to wake up and pay attention to what was (and wasn’t) ‘working’ in my life. And if I found my attitude or circumstances wanting, then I needed to change my story.

Celebrating 1,000

In reflecting upon the impetus behind choosing to write 1111 consecutive posts as my ‘devotional’ Act of Power, I looked up the entry in which I described how I arrived at that number. (I remembered the part about the power of 1,000.) What I forgot, though, was the appearance of the other Seth Godin post: the one that spoke of the power of changing your story.

I feel yet another change in my story approaching again. Perhaps I will plant that seed in some way tomorrow, both in honor of attaining the dramatic 1,000 mark and also to take advantage of the powerful new moon in Leo. This 8th day of August 2021 promises to be a powerful day of manifestation.

It might behoove us all to contemplate our stories. Do we wish to change them? Now might be a great time to begin.

A Prize From Above

Finally, as Spartacus and I walked this evening on the freshly macadamed road along our usual path, something beautiful caught my attention.

The way in which this feather was standing at attention in the midst of tall grasses, its shaft gently nestled amidst the new pavement was curious. I don’t know how I caught sight of it. But there it was.

I’ll take it as one of my beloved signs. I’ll trust that perhaps the time is coming to change my story yet again.

What a ‘Random’ Gift – Photo: L. Weikel

*I just realized: I DID receive a feather! Ha!

(T-111)

What a Number – Day 999

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Stars Through the Forest – Photo: L. Weikel

What a Number

What a number I just typed into the title line, above. Could I really be writing my last three-digit post tonight?

Numerologically speaking, this feels like an ending, even if I’ve not yet arrived at my goal of 1111 consecutive posts. Nines are completion. Three nines, no matter how you look at them, sort of hammer home the concept of completion. Beyond the simple fact of three nines comprising the number, if you add the nines, 9+9+9 = 27 and then 2+7=9. No matter which way you look at 999, it reduces to a 9, and thus it represents a wrapping up, a conclusion, an end to something.

Not My 1111 Devotion

The number 999 may signify completion of something, on some level, but it does not mean I intend to quit my Act of Power before I reach my goal. No; there remain 112 posts to write, and I intend to write them, Goddess willing.

It represents the end of three-digit posts. That’s pretty lame.

Honestly, I don’t know what – if anything – reaching this number signifies, other than I’m plugging along, doing my thing, honoring my word.

Day after day (technically night after night), I blow a quick kiss to my eldest son when I hit ‘publish’ and whisper, “I miss you so damn much. I remember you every single day. And I do this one little thing each night because I said I would. Because I love you.”

And although it’s a little thing, sometimes that’s the best I can do.

Fire Sprite Rising – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-112)

Tipping Point – Day 555

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Only days before his last – Photo: anonymous

Tipping Point

Wow. Here I am, teetering at the tipping point, the very center of the see-saw that is the commitment I made to honoring Karl’s prolific creativity with an Act of Power, a devotion of my own.

As I explained at the beginning of this particular journey, on 11/11/18, the seventh anniversary of Karl’s death, I was sitting here in our living room contemplating my son’s brief but intense life and wondering how I could in some way honor him.

To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed in myself that I never took up a cause or created a foundation or became an advocate dedicated to fiercely and fearlessly changing society or improving people’s lives in his memory. There’s a part of me that wishes I’d channeled my grief in such admirable ways.

But I didn’t.

Instead, on that 7th anniversary of his death, I listened to the messages I was receiving and followed the signs. I determined that the nudges I was getting were for me to simply enter into a daily act of devotion reflecting my love for him and the fact that a day does not go by without him in my thoughts, in my heart, and influencing my life.

1111 Devotion

As I wrote in my initial post in this endeavor, “(a)ccording to the World Book Dictionary, a definition of devotion is ‘…3. The act of devoting or setting apart to a sacred use or purpose; solemn dedication; consecration.’ (…) This blog will be my visible devotion to my son’s memory. My Act of Power. For the next 1111 days, I will create a post.”

In the first few days of following through on this bodacious commitment, I struggled with all sorts of internal beliefs and expectations. I did manage to describe here at least a few of the messages I’d received on the day I set this intention that confirmed this was an appropriate dedication.

I even received confirmation of the magnitude of this devotion (1111 consecutive posts), and wrote about that here.

Today I Stand At the Center

Inasmuch as 1111 does not divide equally, tonight’s post and tomorrow’s post, together, mark the halfway point of this great adventure. I consider tonight’s post the tipping point, for the moment I hit <publish> this evening, I will hit the tipping point. I won’t quite be on the downward trajectory. I’ll be at the apex.

In truth, I am not arriving at this tipping point alone. I know many of you have walked with me every step of the way, slogging through some really sucky posts, but supporting me nevertheless.

I hope you know how much that means to me.

Now. I better get this posted.

I’ll write more tomorrow. I promise.

Rainbow Up Close – Photo: L. Weikel

 

(T-556)

Epic – Day 365

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Disappearing at Slab City – Photo: L. Weikel

Epic

Death is just so damn weird.

In some ways, it feels like Karl’s been gone so long that the stories we tell are becoming epic in nature. Indeed, sometimes they sound like tall tales.

He lives on in our memories, for sure. And memories are notoriously selective.

But he lived a life that could be mistaken, in many ways and by many people, for a tall tale. He lived life bigger in his thirty years than most people live life in thrice that long.

He lived an epic life. Epic in its grandeur and charisma and talent and epic in its plunges to the depths of chaos and self-sabotage.

1111 Devotion

One year ago today, I realized I wanted to make a commitment – a statement – that celebrates my son’s memory and life. As a result, I’ve written a post every single day since November 12th , 2018, as a way of honoring the creativity and vibrancy of Karl’s life. No morbid or flowery bullshit for me. Rather, a single act of creativity, short or long, personal or political, day in and day out. A simple Act of Power, every day, in remembrance of him.

Not that I’m taking a victory lap around the track yet. As of today, my 365thpost, I’m only a third of the way around the loop. But it’s a milestone.

Let Me Be Clear

My Act of Power, however, is far from epic. It’s simple, but visible, reminder that, unlike him, I still have the ability to laugh with his father Karl, take walks with our pups, touch the earth, and mow the lawn. I’m still able to hear his brothers’ voices, see their smiles and feel their hugs, watch them love and thrive, and share their triumphs and struggles.

I still have the ability to sit beside the Tohickon and hear her voice, remember when Karl and his brothers splashed (and tormented each other) in her rocky shallows, and witness the gift of hawks and eagles cruising her length or standing watch over me as I write beside her.

I Wish

I wish I could feel his arms around me once again. I wish I could see his sparkling green eyes and devilishly charming smile trying to cajole some concession from me once again. I wish I could hear him mimic something silly, like a dolphin, just to make me laugh until tears run down my face. I wish I could have the chance to see him continue creating and experimenting with the next edgy concept.

He’s Not Really Gone

And yet I know that he visits me occasionally. He’s gone to great lengths, in fact, to make sure to assure me that his body may be gone but his spirit remains quite alive, thank you very much.

Just this morning, when I was reading the text and FB messages, as well as the emails from friends and families – so many of you dear ones who’ve made this journey with me these past 365 days – I remarked to one of you:

“Thank you. Hard one this year. Not sure why – it’s now been eight years. Maybe I’m ready for him to come home now. Weird.”

I sent that email reply and – as Goddess is my witness – I flipped over to FaceBook on my iPhone only moments later. I scrolled down one message and this is what I saw:

Knock my socks off. If you doubt that Karl didn’t photobomb FB to let me know that he’s still around, and can hear me… just compare this photo with the one on my website. Tell me you wouldn’t have taken a double-take too.

This is the type of thing that happens in my life all the time. I am blessed. I am loved. I am So. Incredibly. Lucky.

To all of you who’ve been walking this 1111 Devotion with me by reading my posts:

Thank you. I love you. I appreciate your support more than you know.

Photo: L. Weikel

(T-746)

Five More Days – Day 360

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Four Beasts – Photo: L. Weikel

Five More Days

Tick tock. Yeah, I notice.

And you know what? It’s strange.

The past couple of posts have felt harder to write than the prior 260 or so. Prior? Previous? (Ha ha – this bugged me and I kept vacillating on which word was more appropriate, so I looked it up. Each used the other in their definition, pinging me into a self-reflective loop. Ugh. So I guess either one is technically ok to use, even though I sense a subtle but distinct difference. Maybe that’s what I get for using dictionary.com?)

And right there is yet another example of how easily it is for me to go off on tangents sometimes.

My Point

My point is that I’m closing in on the one year anniversary of my commitment to posting every single day for 1111 days in honor of our son Karl.

The first ten, fifteen, twenty days were tough. The very enormity of what I’d declared publicly loomed large and verged on the cusp of insurmountable. And then, surprisingly, I seemed to get into a rhythm.

When I realized the benefit of taking at least one photo during the day, the game (which is most definitely not a game) changed. Those photos saved my bacon many a day by giving me something to write about. A starting point. A platform from which I could dive into the twists and turns of an invisible tunnel.

A Journey of Sorts

I never actually thought of my posts in this way before, but in writing that last paragraph, I realize that the photos I use as instigators of my posts are portals, in a way, leading to unique and distinctive journeys that I map out before you with my words.

They each are completely unique because I rarely use the same portal more than once. That means that each portal has the potential to take me to unfamiliar territory.

Funny thing? Tonight I searched desperately for a photo I could use that would give me something to write about tonight. You see what I chose.

How did those four beasts (and yes, there is actually a dog completely submerged under the covers toward the front right of the photo) lead to this discussion?

I have no idea.

I guess that’s the magic of this process.

(T-752)

Lest I Forget – Day 338

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My DMV Number – Photo: L. Weikel

Lest I Forget

Lest I forget why I’m sitting here at 11:29 p.m., scanning my experiences of the day to come up with something at least remotely interesting to write about, I need only glance at a photo I took this afternoon while sitting in the Dublin office of the PA Department of Motor Vehicles.

Karl, my son, has an unerring ability to hone right into my consciousness to plant a flag when I need it most.

1111 Devotion

The reason I’m sitting here on my overstuffed couch, doing my best to pull myself back from the brink of imminent sleep instead of tucking myself into a cuddle sandwich between Karl and Spartacus, is my son. I’m awake and trying to write something at least half coherent for you to read because I made a commitment. I accepted an internal challenge to engage in an Act of Power. I made the decision to engage in my 1111 Devotion.

And so it is that a photo on my iPhone once again saves the day. It brings me back, front and center, to precisely why I am sitting here listening to a screech owl wail its plaintive cry just outside our door instead of falling asleep.

It brings me back to the magic of life and the utter amazingness of what some might call coincidence and I might call communication.

Real ID

I recently received my reissued social security card in the mail. I’d had to go to the Social Security office some weeks ago to request a new one because producing your social security card is a non-negotiable requirement, among others, to securing a ‘Real ID.’ Apparently my regular Pennsylvania driver’s license will no longer be valid ID enabling me to, among other things, board a plane for a domestic flight as of 2020.

All afternoon, I kept thinking to myself that I needed to get over to the Licensing Center to take care of business. In my excitement to have received my new s.s. card, I forgot to bring my passport with me. So I had to drive all the way back home, retrieve that, and return yet again to the PennDoT.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I looked at my ticket upon signing in: ‘I111.’ I had to smile. Karl had been very present all weekend, with all of us convening here for the weekend. Each of us at various times brought him up and remarked how ‘close’ and almost tangible he felt this past weekend.

Here he was. Announcing his presence.

To Mention or Not to Mention

When my number was called, I approached the counter and was greeted by a young woman with a big smile and open, friendly manner. I’d tucked my ticket away in my wallet, and when I did so, briefly considered whether I would mention the significance of the randomly assigned number. “Nah,” I thought. “Too random and wooey for the DMV.”

So I took a double take when I heard my staff person laughingly say to her colleague in the next cubicle, “4:27! That’s my birthday!” (To be clear, she was referring to the fact that it was 4:27 p.m.)

At that moment, I realized not only that she was a kindred spirit in her own right, but that she also would totally appreciate the number of my ticket and its relevance to my life. So when I stood before her and she confirmed my ticket number, I was not surprised when she immediately exclaimed at how the capital ‘I’ looked like a one, thus creating an 1111.

Yes, she brought it up first. So I listened to the nudge.

Sharing the Magic

I rolled with her awareness of the ticket looking like it was 1111 and told her why that number has particular significance to me. Instead of having her look at me askance or judging me as being a woo-ey crystal wearing tree hugger (guilty as charged), we had an amazing discussion that touched upon loss, death, numerology, and a couple other fascinating topics.

Indeed, she relayed a story about a colleague of hers who retired only last year, who lost her 30-something son to a hit and run accident. Sudden. Horrific. Tragic. Just that day, she’d spoken to her friend and found herself worrying about how depressed her friend sounded.

When I mentioned that having the ‘1111’ show up today was my son’s way of connecting with me, she told me a lovely story about how her friend has eschewed the concept of going to a medium or psychic. It’s just not something she has any desire to do. Yet she had been feeling very unsettled over her son’s death – and felt like maybe he wasn’t at peace.

Well, apparently a friend of hers went to some kind of an event – or maybe it was even a private session, I’m not sure – and this woman’s son very clearly came through and gave the friend a message, which he asked her to relay back to his mother.

My DMV friend could barely contain her delight at the shift and comfort she’d witnessed her friend experience as a result of this communication.

They Find a Way

When my new friend commented on how surprised she was that her friend still had no desire to go to a medium herself, I couldn’t help but point out that perhaps there was no need. She’d been encouraged to see a medium to allay her worries and help her with her grief, but she’d refused. Her son, knowing that she needed to hear from him, very cleverly arranged to get his message through to her via her friend – who was open to going to a medium.

He knew she needed to hear from him and he found a way.

Love finds a way. And if Karl hadn’t reached out, sent me love, and rippled my awareness today, I would never have heard this story and had such a heartfelt conversation. At the DMV.

Lest I forget why I do what I do (wink).

(T-773)

Cool Day, Today… – Day 303

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Cool Day, Today…

Numerologically, anyway. Take a deeper look: Today is Day 303 and the number of posts left to write is 808.

So symmetrical. So easily fitting into the 1111 Devotion discipline and the mystique of this Act of Power.

Even though today (tonight) is the technical 303/808 post, I’m going to go with the sense that by paying attention to it tonight, and it then being read mostly tomorrow, I am activating an intention for the portals represented by the double 11s to swing open over the next 24 hours.

Perhaps nothing will happen. Perhaps breakthroughs will occur. Maybe some within our personal lives or sharing our physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual ‘space’ with us who may have been waiting to make their transitions will choose to do so now. We also have the power, strength, and illumination of the full moon (culminating this Friday the 13th) to augment the “Power of the Portals.”

Not a Public Number

There probably won’t be any significant portal crossings over the next 24 hours because the significance of the 303/808 (11/11) is connected solely to me and my writing. There could be those of you who resonate with me and either my family, Karl, or simply the whole concept of 11/11 and will embrace this double portal opportunity with gusto.

I’m hoping (and setting the intention) of only traveling through portals I’m comfortable returning through (to this realm), as well.

Epiphany

Ha ha – I just had a realization. I received an email from Apple just this evening, as I was preparing to start writing my post. It was very distracting. Why? Because it was an announcement of the new iPhone 11 Pro.

Yeah… I opened up the email because I could see a reference to an ‘improved camera’ in this newest model. You didn’t have to ask me twice to check that baby out.

One of the greatest unexpected delights of writing my 1111 Devotion posts is the fun I’ve had taking photos each day as potential prompts for the evening’s post. I know I’ve mentioned a number of times how I’ve thought about you, my readers, when encountering unique circumstances or witnessing moments of singular beauty and trying to capture that moment or experience so I could share it with you later.

Filled to the Brim

The downside to my desire to enthusiastically share my encounters with you both visually and via prose is that I’ve filled my iPhone to the brim. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve struggled to take photos each day because I keep getting the ‘iPhone Storage Full” message. It’s frustrated the hell out of me, I’ll be honest.

I’ve diligently attempted to go back into my photo archives and delete many photos. I’ve done this every single time I’ve tried to snag a shot and been thwarted.

And my weirdness about ‘Big Brother’ (not MY big brother – no, Henry, I’m not calling you weird, although the moniker could fit) has translated to my not wanting to store all of my ‘stuff’ on the Cloud. I know, I know. It’s probably a ridiculous hang up I have. But there it is.

As a result, I’ve been painstakingly deleting photos and videos every single day for a few weeks at least, trying to free up some storage so I can take more photos.

Just this afternoon, in fact, my iPhone had become so clogged full of photos and music and such that it wouldn’t even let me text. It kept automatically exiting from the camera mode. So I ordered a nifty gadget recommended by a dear friend that is specifically designed to be used to download/offload photos and stuff from one’s iPhone easily and efficiently – and then either store it on that drive or transfer the saved info to a computer.

But NOW…

Lust

Oh dear…now there is the aptly named iPhone 11 Pro. I know I don’t need it. But wow, I sure could use it to take some cool shot for you guys. Just tonight I would’ve been writing about vultures and death (we ran into at least 20 vultures snacking on a dead deer during our walk – but my phone kept blinking out of camera mode) instead of lusting after a new iPhone.

I don’t know. I’m thinking there’s an important connection between the 1111 Devotion, the 303/808 number of the post occurring tonight, and the iPhone 11 being announced just this evening are all sending an unequivocal message. Maybe a celebration is in order?

What do you think?

(T-808)