Love and Respect

Jane and Fr. Tom – The Two Gallaghers; Photo: L. Weikel

My parents had kids over a span of 18 ½ years. As the youngest, I’ve found myself chasing the love and respect of my siblings for pretty much my entire life. Each of them set an example or raised the bar in some area of their lives that pushed me to strive to be or do my best. I’ve always been trying to catch up to them.

One of the most interesting of my sibling relationships is the one I have with my eldest sister, Jane. My earliest memories of her are as half of a couple with my brother-in-law, Frank*. They were very active in the Marriage Encounter movement of the Catholic Church, so of course Karl and I not only did our “pre-Cana” obligation via an Engaged Encounter weekend, we also participated in a Marriage Encounter weekend within the first couple of years of our married life.

It was obvious to us that ‘the Church’ played a big role in Jane and Frank’s life wherever they lived – be in Massachusetts, Connecticut, or New Hampshire. They always seemed to find a parish where the clergy were open-minded and open-hearted, welcoming and supportive of those less fortunate. In other words, my sister always seemed to find a parish close to home that exemplified the best of Catholic teachings. We weren’t as lucky, which probably played a not insignificant role in my exploration of other spiritual paths.

Haiti

When my sister was right around the age I am now, some 18 years ago, she became active in the birth of a new ministry at the Church of St. Patrick/St. Anthony in Hartford, Connecticut. She was part of an exploratory mission to Haiti laying the groundwork for establishing a sister parish between St. Patrick/St. Anthony’s and a parish in that island nation.

My sister had never been a public speaker. She might be loquacious and unafraid to offer her opinion on a variety of topics one-on-one, but she wasn’t one to grab a microphone or hog a spotlight. So it was a huge deal when she agreed, as an adjunct to her inclusion on the trip, to speak to the parish about the results of her fact-finding mission upon her return. I remember her grousing a bit about having to agree to this responsibility, but feeling she could suck it up if she had to.

I also remember her horror when she discovered – after returning from Haiti – that contrary to her original fear, she wouldn’t have to address the congregation at just one mass. No. She would in fact be required to address the congregation at every – single – mass that weekend. Wow. That was a leap far further than she’d expected.

But what I witnessed was how her passion and commitment to the meaningful growth she believed St. Patrick/St. Anthony’s could experience and share by establishing a sisterly bond with their Haitian counterparts helped her transcend her stomach churning responsibility into a labor of love. Her dedication to that mission lasted many years and translated into several opportunities to be of service in Haiti.

Other Acts of Love

Over the years, Jane has engaged in many other acts of service through the auspices of the Franciscan Order that always seems to have been part of the progressive parishes she’s been lucky enough to be part of throughout her life. She’s engaged in LGBTQ work, assisted in working with the homeless, and knitted countless prayer shawls that have brought peace, comfort, and solace to those yearning for just that.

Meanwhile, she had a ‘little sister’ with whom she shared extremely similar spiritual attitudes, but who pursued them through the ancient ways of shamanism. That could be a big stretch to even admit. Yet she wasn’t embarrassed by me. Rather, I think she takes pleasure in how vastly different our approaches may seem to the outside world, while we nevertheless share the open secret that, ultimately, we’re cut out of the same spiritual cloth.

Celebrating – Photo: L. Weikel

Today’s Proud Moment

And so it was that today I was able to witness a proud moment when Jane was awarded the Francis Medal – a ‘symbol of and connection to Holy Name Province established in 1998. This award is given in gratitude for ways that our partners in ministry have enhanced the Franciscan vision through their participation.’ Jane’s role in establishing the sister parish relationship in Haiti featured prominently in Fr. Tom Gallagher’s expression of appreciation.

His words were all the more poignant meaningful in that today was the celebration of his final masses as Pastor and Guardian of St. Patrick/St. Anthony’s. It was clear from other parts of the mass today in tribute to him that his presence and role in the church and community will be deeply missed.

I’m lucky to have such a wonderful role model as a sister. And I find it particularly amazing and a true gift that we share such a profound spiritual connection while pursuing its expression in vastly different yet deeply meaningful ways.

I’m so proud of you, Jane, both for who you are and the work you’ve contributed – and continue to offer – to your family, the Hartford community, and the world. I’m still trying to keep up. You’re a hard act to follow.