I’m Gonna Pay

Amadell Carp – Photo: L. Weikel

Oh man. I know I’m gonna pay for this one way or another. But the piper will almost certainly collect his due in the most obvious way: levying a hefty surcharge on my checked bag.

It’s harder than I thought it would be, preparing for a Listening Retreat that’s far away from my home. I think I’ve known, in the back of my head, that this day would come. But it’s rough.

My First True “Away” Game

My evening’s angst issues from the fact that all my other Listening Retreats have taken place within a 20 miles radius of my home. It’s been eminently convenient. Too much so, I fear.

I’ve always made sure to bring a plethora of divinatory decks and books for my ‘retreaters’ to play with and peruse. I’m a huge advocate of giving myself and others access to cool stuff that entices us to steal some time away from everything and everybody and just indulge in…fun.

So it’s been excruciating for me to have to winnow my resources. As it is, all of you who’ve been with me through these past 268 days can take three guesses (and the first two don’t count) on what is the primary source of weight in my single bag-to-be-checked. You guessed it!

Books and Decks

Yup, books and various card decks that I want to share with my retreaters. And while I know that my hosts at Amadell are avid collectors themselves (having shared many a retreat with me through the years, they know ‘the good stuff’), I’m feeling naked. I’m realizing how much anxiety I quell within by having the luxury of telling myself, “I can always run home and get that book if I need it.”

Not this time!

And so it is I am forced to exercise some discernment. Some discipline. Although…I’m thinking that tomorrow’s reckoning with the airline when I check my bag is going to expose my grievous lack of discipline. Or at least the sad truth that I could’ve exercised a whole lot more.

The bottom line is simply my excitement to experience a Listening Retreat in a whole new venue. Yes, I’ve been to Amadell before (and all of you know first hand how much I love it) – but never specifically for a Listening Retreat.

Spirits of the Land Come Forward

And it always seems to me that during a Listening Retreat, no matter where I’ve held them, the Spirits of the Land we’re on reveal themselves in fascinating ways.

Thus, as I packed more and more goodies into my suitcase all day today, I’ve actually known, deep down, that They – the Spirits of the Land – will be the stars of the show. They will be the ones who show up and ask for a willing ear.

My Security Blanket

The books won’t matter. Nor will the decks. What will matter is the willingness of the people who are attending this retreat. Their willingness to trust my suggestions enough to witness the magic.

Ah yes. Just admitting all of this has led me to the realization that the contents of my suitcase are simply my security blanket. (Even if it ends up being an expensive one, when they weigh it.)

The magic of every Listening Retreat is in the land itself. I just need to get them there. The rest will take care of itself.

(T-843)