Blog ~ Ruffled Feathers

Thoughts, ideas, perspectives, ruminations. If we make it through life without ruffling a few feathers, have we really lived?

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Tomorrow’s Equinox – Day 1045

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 2 Comments
They’ll Always Lead the Way – Photo: L.Weikel

Tomorrow’s Equinox

Well, when I mentioned last week that I suspected yesterday’s full moon and tomorrow’s equinox would be some powerful aspects to contend with, I guess I wasn’t messing around. And those are only the more obvious transits happening this week.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am emotionally cooked. In spite of my hopes and exhaustion, I didn’t sleep well last night. I tossed, turned, and was acutely aware of the absence of Spartacus in/on my bed. That boy slept in the small of my back for 13 years. So stringing the words together tonight is like walking through quicksand. I keep sinking into pockets of random thoughts and then jerk awake, finding I’ve been stuck on the same sentence for twenty minutes.

I did want to mention that tomorrow (Wednesday 22 September 2021) is going to be a powerful day on a number of fronts. The most obvious is the fall equinox, which will occur at 3:21 p.m. EDT. This marks the balance between light and dark and heralds the gradual shortening of our days (in the Northern Hemisphere) and the time of harvesting (on a variety of levels). Once again, this is a powerful time to begin taking action on making the changes in our lives that are in alignment and support of our dreams. Here is a perspective you might find interesting.

Spart’s Rainbow & Heart – Photo: L. Weikel

A Chaotic Day

Besides today being the aftermath of yesterday (how’s that for profundity?!), I also had set up an appointment last week for Precious to be seen by our vet. She’s been a hot mess for a long, long time and I finally made up my mind to have her examined and tested.

This is a bigger deal than you might at first think. She’s paranoid as all get out and of course she hid under the bed in my son’s old bedroom, howling (and yes, I do mean howling) in distress that Karl and I were trying to pick her up. (She bolted upstairs as soon as I looked at her about 45 minutes before her appointment. Damn cat is too psychic for her own good.)

We managed to double team her and not only put her in a pillowcase, which is my preferred method of transporting our cats to the vet, but for good measure also put her (while still in the pillowcase) into the cat carrier.

Long story short, she acted like her hair was on fire or as though we were plotting to slowly butcher her. Once I got to the vet’s office, she actually needed to be sedated (gassed) in her carrier so the doctor (who was still feeling anguish over Spartacus) could examine her.

While we are still waiting for the blood tests to come back tomorrow (to see if she has anything else going on in her old age), it turns out she has an autoimmune disorder, eosinophilic syndrome. She received a long-acting shot of steroids that could make her feel better than she has in a very long time indeed. I hope so, because her extreme anxiety wore me out, especially after yesterday.

Spart’s Feather – Photo: L. Weikel

Walking Hurt Today

It was excruciating taking a walk today. For all the joy being out in nature brings me, it was hard to appreciate anything in the realization over and over today that Spartacus and I would never walk together again.

Surprisingly, I did witness some magic, even though I was pretty sure my perspective was too sad to do so. A rainbow dog appeared in the sky and the cloud formation beside it reminded me of a broken heart. Not in a sad way, though. It felt more like an acknowledgment from Karl and Spartacus (and Sheila) that they feel my sadness and know how much I miss them.

Further along on my walk, I found this feather.

It’s a little bit of magic that I wasn’t expecting. In my need for sleep and desire to wake up and find this was all a bad dream, I’ll gratefully accept these gifts from Spirit.

(T-66)

He’s Actually Gone – Day 1044

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 4 Comments
I Love You, Spartacus – Photo: L. Weikel

He’s Actually Gone

Trying to write this post is a nightmare. Believe me, I don’t want to. It stuns me that it’s necessary. Eulogizing my beloved Spartacus seems redundant. Any attempt – inadequate. I’m going to have to let the million posts I wrote that referenced him and his mother Sheila speak for themselves. I don’t want to believe he’s actually gone. But he is.

The photo that was at the top of last night’s post was taken at 2:00 p.m. yesterday. The rapidity with which his health situation crashed was stunning. The doctors have no clue as to his illness’s etiology.

All I know is that our veterinarian and the emergency veterinarian both were at a loss. His blood work showed his liver and kidneys were failing. He was septic – apparently very much so, according to his blood sugar. And the chances of bringing him back from the brink of reuniting with his mommy, Sheila, were extremely slim.

Hangin’ on the porch – Photo: L. Weikel

Small Comfort

As with all loss, especially the kind that sneaks up and smacks you in the head from behind, questions abound. Regrets, second-guessing, and ‘what-ifs’ swirl unmercifully in your head, and even more so in your heart. While intellectually you might know without a doubt that the one lost (and here I’m making no distinction between the objects of our love) knew they were loved and adored – it is small comfort in the face of the fact that suddenly they’re gone.

Squeaky toy, muddy paws; Photo: L.Weikel

And Yet, It’s Everything

I think that’s probably the most excruciating part about being a human. It’s both the awareness of love and the persistence of that awareness once the beloved is gone. Because it’s that persistence of awareness that stops us in our tracks when we remember they’re gone. And it’s the persistence of that awareness that’s reflected in the pain we humans are terrified of knowing. At least that’s been my experience.

Pain is the direct 1:1 reflection of the depth of the love. It can feel unfathomable.

I love with my whole heart, without restriction. And when I lose an object of my love (particularly unexpectedly) the pain ‘goes there.’ It is hard to see straight for a time. And it’s tempting to wish I’d never opened myself up to being hurt so deeply, to being left so vulnerable.

The Four S’s – Photo: L.Weikel

And Then I Remember

I remember the joy. I remember what’s truly important about life and living.

Knowing the pain, I love all the more. In fact, I yearn to bring more love into my life. I’m not a glutton for punishment. I just know. Love is what lives forever. And it’s the most powerful force in existence.

Sheila and Spartacus Reunited 9/20/21 – 5 days shy of one year exactly; Photo: L.Weikel

(T-67)

Off His Game – Day 1043

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 2 Comments
Spartacus: “I don’t feel well, Mommy” – Photo: L. Weikel

Off His Game

I’m distracted this evening. I’m worried about my Spart-man. As soon as I woke up this morning, I noticed he was ‘off his game.’ For one thing, he hadn’t come back upstairs to cuddle with me after his morning rendezvous with the elements. (Karl lets him out early, but Spartacus always – always – come back upstairs to cuddle with me. Every morning. Without fail.)

Anyway…when I came downstairs looking for my cuddle-bug, I found him outside, just standing underneath the bird feeders looking…lost. And forlorn. And frazzled, to be honest. The hair along his backbone was standing on edge – the way it looks when we walk past his buddies the wolfhounds and they talk smack to him.

It’s fine when his hair bristles at the abuse by his wolfhound buddies. It’s quite another when there’s no discernible…anything…going on.

His position the entire day – Photo: L.Weikel

Off His Game

I knew immediately that something was ‘off.’ He looked at me and the usual joy that beams out of his eyes wasn’t there. It was as if he was distracted, which perhaps he was. I think he was feeling ill and didin’t know what to do with those feelings.

I called him and chirruped in my most enthusiastic voice, but to no avail. He acted like he didn’t even want to climb the three steps to our porch. He did so, eventually, but not without exuding a sense of extreme malaise. There wasn’t even a hint of tail-wagging to be observed.

He drank a bit of water, but had no interest in food. I think I can count on one hand the times this boy has ever been disintererested in food. But…ok. Things happen. I was not going to get worried by a little stomach growler.

Things Only Got Worse

As the day wore on, Spartacus became more and more lethargic. Basically, he slept the entire day. But beyond that, he barely moved. That wouldn’t bother me all that much if the sleeping yielded even an ounce more pep. But it did not. We couldn’t even coax him to stand up.

Several more hours went by. The sun was setting and the moon was rising and it was time to take our walk. Spartacus, my baby. Can’t you shake this bug off yet, bunny?

I put his harness on in the hopes that it would inspire him to at least give a walk a try. Our walks are legend. And besides, I figured if he ate something that disagreed with him he might have to ‘get things moving’ in his innards and a walk might be just the ticket to his recovery.

Alas, no dice. He barely stood up long enough for me to secure his harness before immediately resuming his prone position on his massive pillow. Undaunted (and a bit shameless, I’ll admit), I offered him a treat. Nope.

Even the Wolfhounds Sensed Something

Even the wolfhounds recognized his absence. Entirely uncharacteristically, they turned their backs on me as I walked past them. Their buddy Start was nowhere to be seen. They couldn’t be bothered with his human.

“Bah. Where’s the little guy? We’re out of here.” Photo: L. Weikel

While I was walking, Karl brought him inside and tucked him into his softest dog bed. Once I came back, I had a feeling he might need to go to the bathroom. We took him out and he wandered a bit in the dark, but overall, it seemed to be a fruitless endeavor. Fruitless, except perhaps for a bit of some almost-dry heaves. (I’ve wracked my brain to think if he snuffled up anything on our walk last night, but I cannot remember anything unusual. And yes – he walked four miles with me yesterday…)

This is NOT the way Spartacus ever behaves.

Tigger: “What’s wrong with Spart, Mommy?” – Photo: L.Weikel

Present Status

Right now, Cletus is watching over his big brother. They’re both curled up, asleep on the mega pillow we have on our porch. Honestly, it’s the cutest indication of brotherly love. It’s fascinating – the cats all seem a bit perturbed. There’s definitely a disturbance in the force.

I’m not sure if Spart has a bit of a fever and feels better sleeping outside in the coolness of the night air, or what his motivation is for remaining outside. Is it just too much trouble to get up and come inside? It’s unsettling.

Believe me; once I write this and get it posted, I’m going outside and carrying him up to bed. There’s no way I’m going to let him sleep outside when he doesn’t feel well.

He’s my baby. And if he’s not acting more like himself by the time I wake up tomorrow morning, he’s going to visit his doctor. We can only hope it’s just something that needed time to work itself out.

Thanks for listening and maybe even sending some love to our pup.

Cletus having Spartacus’s back – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-68)

Liminal Time – Day 1042

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 4 Comments
Turtle Rock – Photo: L. Weikel

Liminal Time

Perhaps it’s the waxing moon, so close to reaching her fullness this Monday night at 7:55 p.m. Eastern Time. My walk this evening felt a bit magical, perhaps because I was out at that liminal time when the sun has set and the moon is rising and anything is possible.

Definitely Disappointed – Photo: L.Weikel

Turtle Rock & Shagbark Man

For instance, I’m not sure how many times I’ve walked past these rocks, but I can tell you I’ve never seen this Turtle stepping forward before. It took me by surprise. So much so, I had to coax Spartacus back (he was on his way to see his Wolfhound buddies) so I could take this photo. I have to wonder why I never saw this before.

But then again, just shortly down the road a piece a Shagbark Hickory tree gazed down upon me. I felt a sense of displeasure, or perhaps simply a slight scolding energy emanating from the tree. It wouldn’t have surprised me to see some spindly branches akimbo on either side, as if it had its hands on its hips.

We’re Invisible – Photo: L. Weikel

Invisible Deer

About half a mile down the road, I heard a crackle in the woods to my right. I stopped, saw nothing, but then stopped again. I chuckled. They were right there, right under my nose. The one closest to me was larger than the other two. In fact, the fawns in the back still had the faintest of white spots in their coats.

It was a marvel, actually, to appreciate just how well they were being trained to blend into their background and ‘be invisible.’ I hope they got a treat after dinner for executing this exercise so well.

Waxing Moon – Photo: L.Weikel

Waxing Moon & a September Eve

Just as we crested the hill, I caught sight of the moon rising in the multicolored layers of reflected sunset. I hope I’ll be out and the weather is clear when the moon rises on Monday. If tonight is any indication, she will appear with quite a substantial girth. Again, I wish I could zoom in better. But it’s a decent shot.

It almost seemed like every few steps I’d be tempted to take another photo. But believe it or not, I actually walked quite far between indulging my urges to capture the moment(s).

Nevertheless, I offer this photo as proof that magic definitely was in the air last night.

The last photo I wanted but didn’t take was the moon as she lit the way from behind us as we were walking along the penultimate leg of our journey. She was so bright and cast such long, dark shadows, it was almost as if a motorcycle with a brilliant headlight was chasing us home.

I urge you: try to get out and take a walk tomorrow night around 7:00 p.m. You won’t be disappointed.

Liminal Time – Photo: L.Weikel

(T-69)

Creek Sightings – Day 1041

Posted on by Lisa Weikel Leave a comment
Creek Deer – Photo: L. Weikel

Creek Sightings

I managed to snag about 30 minutes beside my beloved Tohickon Creek earlier today. I love to sit there and write whenever I have a chance. But some days I just end up sitting and staring at the water as it flows and tumbles around and over the rocks. Today, while I was staring at the page as opposed to the milieu, I glanced up and noticed swirls and ripples in the water where it’s usually quite calm. Leaning forward, I gained the first of my two creek sightings today.

The first creatures I saw were these two deer. They must have descended the rocky forested hillside and crossed the one lane road just behind my car.  When I leaned forward to see whether the ripples were being caused by something above or below the water, I saw these two tromping and splashing through the creek.

I took a little video of them, but I don’t feel like posting it on YouTube. So the still I took of them once they got to the other side will have to suffice. They looked to me like they were just past fawn-age, teenagers perhaps – and they were certainly acting the part – playfully clattering their way to the other side. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

Spotted Sandpiper

The other one of my two creek sightings today was what I am guessing was a Spotted Sandpiper. It’s the best identification I can come up with. It definitely reminded me of the sandpipers I used to see running along the beach up on Cape Cod, when I was a kid.

But I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sandpiper around here before.

Nevertheless, from my Peterson’s app, it looks like it’s at least a possibility. They apparently do tend to enjoy hanging out in environments such as creeks. But it seems to be getting a bit late in the season.

I’m a little frustrated that I couldn’t zoom in on it any better than I did. It is tough to see its markings. The way it ran along the rocks and into the shallow parts of the water did remind me, was reminiscent of what I believe were Lesser Sandpipers (at the Cape).

I’m grateful to have experienced these visitors today. I feel lucky to have shared some precious moments with all three of them.

(T-70)

Myriad of Mycelium – Day 1040

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Seaweed Mushrooms with red leaves for color – Photo: L. Weikel

Myriad of Mycelium

I’ve seen a lot of mushrooms in my day. Without even being the type of person who forages for them, I’ve randomly run across them simply in the course of all the walks I take. It doesn’t even matter whether I’m traipsing through fields, strolling through my yard, or hiking in the woods (where they arguable seem to be more prevalent). Even if I’m just walking along a road that abuts fields and forest, I’ve seen a myriad of mycelium.

But I have to admit, I saw one the other day during my circumambulations that I don’t recall ever seeing before. It caught my eye because it reminded me of a smaller version of sea sponges (or as we used to call them when we’d find them drying out on the sand as the high tide receded, ‘dead man’s fingers’).

These don’t actually look like dead man’s fingers, I suppose – real or emanating from the sea. But from my perspective, they seemed to have a similar consistency, albeit the ‘fingers’ were smaller and much thinner. As I mentioned, I don’t remember ever seeing a mushroom like this one before.

(Not even going to comment on the guy running through the mushroom patch…) Photo: L. Weikel

Possible Identification

I tried my hand at identification by accessing this site – the USDA Field Guide to Common Macrofungi in Eastern Forests and Their Ecosystem Functions. It’s not quite as easy to use as my Herp site (which I avail myself of often). And I’m not sure if I hit on the correct one. (I’m trusting some of you to enlighten me if I haven’t.)

It appears to me that my discovery is a Milk-White Toothed Polypore. If this is correct, it’s inedible. (Not that I was even remotely contemplating snacking on it.)

Wonderful Movie

All of this reminds me, of course, of the wonderful movie, Fantastic Fungi, which I wrote about in my post Magnificent Mycelium. I’m pretty sure it’s showing on Netflix now – so if you haven’t seen it yet, I heartily recommend it. You will come away from watching it with an utterly transformed appreciation for this creature with which we share our planet.

Photo: L. Weikel

(T-71)

Pre-Full Moon Pick – Day 1039

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Three of Wands – Tarot of the Crone

Pre-Full Moon Pick

Even though I’m technically writing this on Wednesday night (15 September 2021), it won’t be read until Thursday. So I feel comfortable choosing a card for us to contemplate in this post in anticipation of navigating the last few days of our week and into the weekend. Let’s call it a ‘pre-full moon’ pick.

As we experience the energies building up to their fullest expression on Monday (the 20th), when the moon will be full in Pisces, we might want to bear in mind the counsel of the card that shows up.

Next Week

Actually, next week will have a lot of energy associated with it, even from a very basic astrological perspective. I don’t mean that to sound high falutin’. Trust me, I’m still wrapping my head around the new and full moons, equinoxes, solstices, and eclipses – which are all fairly big, bold, and obvious. My point is that there are lots of aspects taking place ‘up there’ (or is it out there?) and I’m just trying to alert us to the more obvious ones.

On Monday, as I mentioned above, the moon will be full in Pisces. If you gave yourself the gift of sitting down over Labor Day weekend (around the new moon) to contemplate the changes you wanted to make or the seeds of new ideas or directions you wanted to plant, well… two things.

First, there are few more days left to still take some steps, big or small, toward cultivating those seeds. And that’s only if you’re on a 30 day plan. If what you want to create has a bigger agenda, then perhaps you’re on the 2.5 year plan. It’s still a wise choice to take stock and assess whether you feel the pull to actively take a few action steps over the next few days to make your dream grow.

Besides the full moon, the second big energetic shift next week is the autumn equinox. This will occur at 3:21 p.m. Eastern Time on Wednesday the 22nd of September. The equinox is another time of powerful upshifts in energy. My suggestion is to continue cultivating those seeds, and if possible, pay them some extra attention that day. But until then, we have our work cut out for us. Let’s see what my beloved Tarot of the Crone suggests.

A Card For Now

Three of Wands ~ Magic

“I set my intention                   In sacred space

I touch Creation

Together we bring into Being

What has not Been                  Before now

Three glowing red snakes arise from a cauldron fired by three yellow flames. Spirit moving in the realm of creation is magic. Magic is the manifestation of intention and the infusion of energy into matter. Magic is recognizing what you have given in what is coming back to you. Now you see how it works. So take your tools, your intent, your ingredients and your container. Bring everything together as artfully as you can, weave and sing your best. Then let it go and sit back, for if you keep your focus up forever, it means you lack confidence, either in your power or the creativity of the universe. Give it time to give back and space to bring forth. But not before you’ve given all you have.”

Seems about right.

(T-72)

Beauty and Ferocity – Day 1038

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Simply Lovely – Photo: L. Weikel

Beauty and Ferocity

The photos accompanying this post are the reason for the title, “Beauty and Ferocity.”

The ‘beauty’ part of this post, while it could absolutely apply to either or both of the photos, is actually assigned, in my mind, to the photo of the flower arrangement, above. This lovely arrangement of flowers was created by my daughter-in-law Tiffany.

I think what I love most about this arrangement is what I witnessed in her creation of it. First of all, it is comprised of flowers she picked at the local CSA, to which she belongs. Having pinch-hit a couple of times for her, I know that it is a labor of love to pick the flowers that are included in her share.

It takes time and attention to select just the right blooms. And while it is lovely to simply ‘be’ outside amongst these flourishing plants that are so obviously well-cared for and vigilantly tended, it can get hot. And there is a knack to choosing the perfect blossoms that will come into harmony with each other.

Loving Attention

But what really blows me away is the loving and meticulous attention Tiffany brings to creating the bouquet itself. Me? I plop what I’ve picked into a glass milk bottle or other vase, fill it with cold water and maybe arrange the colors and textures to suit my eye.

Tiffany, on the other hand, sits patiently with her scissors and trims each and every stem of each and every blossom. She meticulously removes the lower leaves, and makes a fresh cut on the bottoms of the stems so they can drink deeply of the cool water she places them in.

I know I’m not doing justice to the love and attention she puts into creating a spray of color and love that Karl and I enjoy all week. But I notice.

Dragon’s Face – Photo: L. Weikel

Ferocity

The other photo I’m including is the face of a dragon that came swirling out of the sky toward me today as Spartacus and I did a walk-about. You might not see it at first, but I bet if you soften your gaze, you’ll see her.

She looks ferocious, but my sense is that she was more guardian than threat.

(T-73)

Centering Post – Day 1037

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The Littlest Woolly Bear – Photo: L. Weikel

Centering Post

As much as it may sound like an exaggeration, I honestly wonder where I would be if I didn’t have the ability to be outside as often as I am. Being in nature is my joy; it’s my centering post. Every once in a while I find myself marveling at just how much time I spend on my porch. From April (late March if I’m lucky) through parts of November (again, if I’m lucky), I’m able to write, correspond, and meet with clients, for at least some of the services I provide, surrounded by my beloved trees, birds, and other creatures, both wild and domesticated.

Beyond the time I spend on my porch, my daily walks immerse me in a world that urges me to forget – at least momentarily – my despair over the behavior of humans. Even just writing that sentence feels ridiculous because we all know how our leaders’ refusal to take the urgent action needed to address climate change is sinister and selfish indeed.

Listening to the insects inundate us with their raucous chirrups and zig-zaggy mating calls (I’m talkin’ ‘bout you, katydids!) as we walk through the darkness of a tree tunnel fills me with a sense of both mystery and calm.

Gifts That Delight

During our walk yesterday, I found the cutest little teeny tiny ‘woolly bear’ caterpillar rippling its way across the road. It made all the other wooly bears I’ve ever seen look like hulking gargantuans in comparison.

I read this article from The Old Farmer’s Almanac stating once again the lore of woolly bears’ predictive abilities when it comes to winter weather. As you can read here, the greater proportion of black on their bodies corresponds to the harder the winter. While this little guy looks fairly evenly proportioned, I have seen some larger specimens that definitely had more black than orange. Perhaps I’ll take an informal survey if the ‘many legged’ cooperate.

Another discovery I made yesterday was this moth, pictured below. The wings are so exquisitely defined and rich in color, they look like works of art to me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a moth like this one before.

Moth Artistry – Photo: L. Weikel

Little Things

It never ceases to amaze me how much I’m transformed each afternoon or evening by the simple act of noticing the beauty of the weeds – I mean wildflowers – that jostle for my attention as I walk. Or how the bats zooming around snagging mosquitos mid-air make me involuntarily shriek when they buzz me a little too close for comfort. Playfully? (I hope. At least I tell myself they’re messing with me.)

Deer look up expectantly as we pass them grazing in the fields, some of them stamping their feet in an act of failed intimidation. And the frogs yerp and screet as they plop! plop! plop! from their perches into their puddles and ponds, billowing clouds of mud revealing where they’ve burrowed.

I feel a need to urge us all to make a point of being in nature this week. Don’t worry about the length of time or the mileage you walk. Just be. Give yourself five minutes to breathe in the scent of fall approaching. Listen to the wind in the trees as well as the voices of the birds and the crickets. Pay attention to and remember the little things that delight your senses and make your heart just a little bit lighter. That little bit of communion with Mother Nature brings so much into greater perspective.

(T-74)

Swamp Bucket – Day 1036

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Puddle Resident – Photo: L. Weikel

Swamp Bucket

Camouflage in the Swamp Bucket – Photo: L. Weikel

I walk past this little pond every time I do my ‘walk-about,’ which is the longer version of my more frequent ‘walk-around.’ The walk-about is almost, but not quite, twice as long as my walk-around and it contains a hill of a not insignificant grade. (If you haven’t walked it in a while, it can kick your behind.) The last handful of times I’ve walked past this marshy little swamp bucket, though, I’ve felt a compulsion to stop and just take in the entire milieu. Something was there; I could feel it.

The feeling literally stopped me in my tracks. Something was present. There was some sort of creature waiting for me, either hiding in the tall native grasses surrounding the pool of water or poised on the edge, in the mud, or swimming in the water itself. In order to seize upon the element of surprise, the last few times I came upon it, I consciously slowed my pace and distracted Spartacus so he was actually walking along the other side of the road.

Nope. In spite of my spidey-sense urging me to pay attention, not even a frog hopped into the water, which was surprising. At least three or four frogs managed to screech in surprise and plop into the water all along the rest of my circuit, including right outside our front door. That’s three or four per pool of creek water. Even a few puddles are charging rent now; the recent rains have produced a bumper crop of frogs.

Pay Dirt

Aah. But today my patience was rewarded.

Yes, I did still sense I might catch a creature unawares if I were stealthy enough, but what was the use? With that attitude, I almost missed it. But something tickled my brain and told me to stop once again; to drink in the entire ecosystem.

There she waits – Photo: L. Weikel

Wow. Well, the puzzle is solved. No wonder there are no frogs jumping into this particular pond. No wonder indeed.

Do you see her?

Of course, I have no idea whether she’s a she or a he, but I’m choosing to assign her my own gender, if for no other reason than I admire her skills of camouflage and stealth, her uncanny patience. The depth of instinct she embodies is profound and a little bit unnerving.

On some level, though, I’ve been sensing her presence. Finally laying eyes on her feels cool. And intimate.

And beyond that? An encouragement to trust my instincts. To know that when I sense something, I need to respect myself enough to trust that inner knowing. While I may not be able to put my finger on it right away, if I follow up and pay attention, who knows what I might discover?

(T-75)