Binge-Eating

The evidence – Photo: L. Weikel

You caught me.

I don’t know what’s come over me as I sit here trying to think of something to write this evening. But yikes, it’s not pretty.

I’ve been sitting here on my couch, contemplating the thoughts parading through my head, writing a sentence here and a paragraph there. Then deleting them, one after another.

I’ve written about Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna. I’ve written about a crucial fact that we all live with, but barely any of us acknowledge truthfully and head on: in spite of our best laid plans, it can all be over in the blink of an eye.

I’ve been sitting here thinking about Kobe’s wife and other daughters. How when they woke up this morning, none of them knew their lives would be changed irrevocably, forever.

True For All of Us

But let’s face it: that’s true for all of us. At any moment, everything could change for any one of us – or for all of us, for that matter.

And yes, many of us have already experienced nightmarish events in which everything has changed in the blink of an eye. But that fact doesn’t make it any easier to witness it happening to someone else. Just because I’ve felt the horror of receiving the phone call we all dread doesn’t mean I’d wish it on anyone else.

Indeed, it makes me grieve all the more for the survivors. It makes me think of the families of the people who were killed on that Ukrainian airliner that was shot down a few weeks ago. Those people have to deal with the utter senselessness of that tragedy.

It makes me wonder what we’re going to witness when our greatest hopes are challenged by our worst fears later this week, when weak-willed people potentially fail to heed the call of our future ancestors to do what’s right instead of what’s politically expedient for their own selfish ends.

So I Binge

I hold out hope that those representing us in Washington will seize this time of the new moon and think beyond themselves, beyond their fears of getting primaried, beyond their fear of being bullied and ridiculed by the least among us (who also happen to hold the most power at the moment).

And since I can only hold fast to my hope that the people who’ve been elected to the Senate have a deep and abiding love for our system and for the solemn responsibility they hold to all of us, I embody that hope by imagining them digging deep and holding strong to our collective core values.

I hold that vision. That, and binge-eat peanuts.

I don’t know about you, but I consider peanuts in the shell to be terribly addictive. Worse than potato chips.

And so I pound them down. (I should never succumb to that first one. Therein lies the key.)

Eating. It’s such an essential aspect of life and living; an affirmation that we’re still here. And as long as we’re here, we must hold fast to our hope. For ourselves and for each other.