Month: February 2021

Missing Our Girl – Day 829

Posted on by Lisa Weikel 2 Comments
Sheila Maloney – Photo: L. Weikel

Missing Our Girl

It’s funny how memory and emotions work. Sometimes it seems there’s no rhyme or reason why a loved one (human or otherwise) suddenly comes to mind and slices open our heart unbidden. When I opened my eyes this morning, lingering in that between space of neither awake nor asleep, I suddenly found myself overcome with missing our girl. Missing my Sheila.

Grief is like that. It’s sneaky and cruel, in a way.

If I scratch the surface, though, I probably only label it as cruel because the intensity of that missing, the sudden, excruciating awareness of that void, can knock the breath out of us – especially when we don’t see it coming. And that’s sort of how it is after they’ve been gone a while.

And so it was this morning as I lay in bed, swimming to the surface of consciousness, remembering who and where and when I am, that I yearned to hold my puppy Sheila again. I remembered with acute clarity laying in bed with her years ago, stroking the white streak that ran down her nose and always reminded me of a feather, telling her what a precious puppy she was.

The Fire Brigade (Tigger, Spartacus, Cletus) – Photo: L. Weikel

Something In the Air

About an hour or two later, I took a photo of Spartacus (her son), who was snoozing in front of the fireplace with two of his (feline) brothers, Cletus and Tigger.

I texted the photo to my youngest son without a word of context.

His response? “Wow, what babies. Miss that pup.”

Then a handful of seconds later: “Oh. Wow. I thought that was Sheila.”

Sheila was his pup. Or I should say, he was her boy.

For whatever reason, her memory, her essence, the loving energy that was our ‘Sheila Monster,’ was visiting both of us today. Pennsylvania, Massachusetts – it didn’t matter where we were. Her playful, protective, and utterly sweet-natured essence enveloped us both in the memory of her love.

Sheila: “MY Boy” – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-282)

Lonely Sentinel – Day 828

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Snowbeing in the Wild – Photo: L. Weikel

Lonely Sentinel

Our walks of late have been upended and disturbed by a confluence of interrupters – from weather events to political storms, our routine was thrown into disarray. When we finally managed to coordinate ourselves and the elements, we were surprised to meet this lonely sentinel silently keeping watch over field and forest.

As can be seen, this was no well-orchestrated, grandly planned snowman, replete with stovetop hat, corncob pipe, and two eyes made out of coal. (Earworm!) No. This was a haphazard creation, clearly spontaneously inspired and hastily assembled.

But a presence nonetheless.

Works of Art

Some people go to great pains to create magnificent snow sculptures. You can always tell the ones who eschew the classics and go for the Pixar version of snow creations. They create true works of art.

They’re labors of love – love of the craft. Love of grand gestures and attention to detail. Love of whimsy and imagination. If you’re lucky enough to walk or drive by a yard that offers such a creation, it’s a rare treat. Most of us only see photos of the more epic creations, helping them ‘go viral’ by sharing them on social media.

The ‘traditionals’ are fun too, though. Especially when they sport clothing raided from the hall closet or features pilfered from the ‘fridge. It’s more common now than when I was growing up to see entire snow families created by their fleshy counterparts.

In the Midst of Nowhere

And so it was a rare treat to come upon this back-to-basics minimalist snowperson. Not only was this being obviously created spontaneously, a veritable ‘found object’ snow-sentinel, but it felt like a part of the wild. Field and forest can go about their business because it’s on its watch.

Most of the time Karl and I go out of our way to pick up any errant signs of humanity we may find along the roadside as we walk. We always carry a bag in which to stow the disappointing remnants unconscious humans leave in their wake.

But this creation, this lonely sentinel, while admittedly offering a taste of domestication within a half-feral environment (the fields are fenced and occasionally plowed, after all), felt like a sweet spot of overlap between ‘us’ and ‘them.’

Snowperson-in-the-Wild (closeup) – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-283)

Compost Critter – Day 827

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Who Approaches? – Photo: L. Weikel

Compost Critter

Yesterday was chock full of wild surprises and feral encounters. Wildlife kind, I should say. While I have no photographic identification of the Prius Apple Nibbler, I certainly provided proof of the little jerk’s existence by displaying its lovely entry in the ‘free form sculpting, transforming an apple to a dahlia blossom’ competition. What I didn’t tell you about last night was Karl’s unexpected encounter with a compost critter.

Karl took the bag of compost down to the container we keep beside the barn. To hear him tell it, he was barely paying attention to the rote task, instead using the slog through the almost knee deep snow to ponder just how much ice might coat the roads and trees this week. In fact, he was so oblivious that he very nearly dumped the kitchen detritus right onto the aforementioned critter’s fur.

Lucky for both of them, Karl meant this usually nocturnal creature, whom we may (or may not) have encountered before, no ill will and Opossum Pat performed on cue, choosing to feign death over its early supper rather than snarl or fight.

I happened to be walking out to the car at the very moment of their encounter and heard Karl call out my name. “Lis! Lis! Check it out! Bring your phone!” I could see him standing about five feet away from the compost barrel, but didn’t know what he’d discovered.

Not Playing Dead – Photo: L. Weikel

Fine Specimen

Oh, what a good looking opossum awaited my inspection. Karl said it keeled over as soon as he gasped in surprise. Pat had been utterly motionless ever since Karl shouted to get my attention.

I probably freaked it out when I started talking to it as if it were one of our pets. I addressed Pat in my customary high sing-song voice that I reserve primarily for babies and non-humans, thinking it would continue to ‘play dead’ as long as I spoke to it out loud.

Much as I hoped it would respond to my voice, I never thought it would.

Imagine my surprise, then, when it started opening its eyes as I approached it from behind. I didn’t want to scare it, so I continued talking to it and telling it how handsome it was. I also didn’t want to freak it out by remaining behind it, so I moved to its left to get a better, more full-on look at its face.

And yes indeed, it looked right back at me. It opened its mouth a little and I wondered if it was going to hiss at me and bare the razor-like teeth that make it look like something out of a Tim Burton movie. Nope. It kept both its temper and fear in check. I’d like to think it was my scintillating personality, but as I continued to talk to it in my sing-song way, Karl leaned in on its other side and dumped the compost contents into the barrel beside it.

Pat’s Closeup – Photo: L. Weikel

Foul Temptation

Oh, the scent beckoned, it was obvious. Shrimp shells, carrot peelings, with a gravy of moldy cottage cheese. Heady stuff. It wanted to keep its eye on me, but oh, Sweet Master Marsupial In the Sky, the tantalizing offering dumped by the Quiet Giant was too much to resist.

There was no way Pat could keep up the façade. It turned its face slightly away from me, daring to take in the heady scents full on.

Appreciating its dilemma, Karl and I quickly retreated.

“Eat well, little friend. Thanks for letting us take some cool head shots!”

Mmm…shrimp. Can’t – not – look. Must resist! Photo: L. Weikel

(T-284)

Bad Day – Day 826

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Troubling Discovery – Photo: L. Weikel

Bad Day

You know you’re having a bad day when you reach for the apple you left in your car the night before and – ew – it feels like someone took a bite out of it.

When that happened to me this afternoon, I immediately leapt to a silent, if annoyed, and slightly disgusted conclusion that Karl had taken a bite out of the apple as we drove home last night. Maybe he didn’t like its taste, or maybe he just decided he didn’t want it after all. Whatever.

Like a flash of lightning, my inner “Ugh!” fired off, which was weird. For one thing, Karl’s not one to waste food. But even if he took a bite and didn’t like it, he wouldn’t just leave it in the console, where I keep my mask, sunglasses, and hand sanitizer. If nothing else, he would’ve ‘offered it to the deer,’ as we like to say, flinging it far into a passing field.

Ugh Oh

I reached again for the apple, not able to see it from my vantage point behind the wheel. My knee-jerk reaction to blame Karl felt hasty. There had to be another reason the apple felt wet and partially eaten. Maybe it had fallen on the floor during our road trip yesterday and a piece had gouged out.

Pulling the apple up to where I could see it, my heart sank. Ugh oh.

While the nibbling of the fruit was practically a work of art in itself, especially its unsettling symmetry, it was unequivocally and most certainly not nibbled by Karl. Of that I was certain.

The design was actually quite pretty in its own way. Perhaps what freaked me out the most, though, was the obvious recency of the ingestion. The flesh of the apple was only just beginning to brown at the edges! Yuck!

Was I actually riding around with a four legged hitchhiker? Or had this scofflaw invaded my car while it sat in the driveway, trying to escape the snow and cold and thinking it hit the jackpot when it discovered fresh fruit along with respite from the elements?

Not Waiting To Find Out

We’ve had the interior (and wiring) on too many cars wrecked by rodents. This was definitely a trespass. Time to reload the mothball pouches! And if they don’t work…well…

Ha – I only just this moment remembered my ‘pick’ for today. Mountain Lion – with Mouse underneath. I’d even laughed when I picked and said, “Looks like a cat-and-mouse kind of day!” Who’d have thought MOUSE would show up quite so literally? (Maybe I should lock Cletus in the car overnight?)

Hmmm.

(T-285)

That’s That – Day 825

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Stick a Fork in Me (Not Making Lemonade) – Photo: L. Weikel

That’s That

Well, that’s that.

So much for believing in people to act in a way that serves a higher purpose than their own self-serving interests.

Yeah, I know; I’m idealistic. I was a dreamer back in 2020, thinking that truth and justice would be served in the stone age of the first Senate impeachment trial involving DT. I learned my lesson, of course. And in spite of the admonition of then House Impeachment Manager Adam Schiff, the Senate voted to acquit with only one courageous Republican willing to join all Senate Democrats in standing up for our principles.

What admonition? The warning that if he were acquitted, DT would turn right around and behave even more egregiously.

Here We Are

And so, to no one’s surprise (if you were paying attention), after months and months of stoking The Big Lie and cultivating an atmosphere of victimhood and grievance, our country endured an assault on our country, on our lawmakers, on our Capitol, and on our entire system of government. Worse? It was perpetrated by our own fellow citizens.

But beyond the pale was the fact that it was stoked, incited, and celebrated by the person who was at that moment our President, our Commander in Chief. And he orchestrated the entire deadly and disgusting desecration because he refused to honor the will of the people and acquiesce to one of our country’s proudest hallmarks of democracy: the peaceful transition of power.

Dare We Ask?

The rapidity with which Representative Schiff’s dire warning of the consequences of Trump’s first acquittal came to fruition begs the question: Where will it end?

What monstrous wave of disrespect and brutal violence will this unleash on us?

Who will be safe?

Anyone?

If you think it won’t touch you, what makes you think you’re so special?

I bet I can guess. And in the end, I bet you’ll be wrong.

Because without the rule of law, without justice, truth, and integrity, no one’s going to come out of this intact.

(T-286)

Comfort Post – Day 824

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Cletus in rare pleasant mood – Photo: L. Weikel

Comfort Post

As you all know, I’m riveted by the Constitutional drama spooling out before our very eyes this week. But instead of discussing any of the abominably appalling details of what tried to pass for a defense of DT today, I’m electing instead to offer a comfort post.

I was going to title this Spartacus and the Pussycats, but – nah. My pets have no aspirations to emulate an early 70’s cartoon band, thank goodness. Nor would I condone them going on the road in the midst of a pandemic, even if they did. Somebody’s got to be the adult around here.

Instead, I’ll just give you some puppy and kitty cameos to make you smile.

Tigger Striking a Pose – Photo: L. Weikel

Fiddling While Rome Burns

I have to admit it feels just a little bit like I’m fiddling while Rome (or perhaps more accurately, D.C.) burns. But no. I don’t want to go there.

One place I will go, though, is to give a shout out to a young Penn State grad, Gabby Richards, who is the Communications Director for Representative Mary Gay Scanlon. She and Daniel Gleick, Communications Director for Representative Val Demings, wrote a letter on behalf of Congressional Staffers urging Senators to convict Donald Trump of inciting an insurrection.

What’s most remarkable about the effort of Gabby Richards and Daniel Gleick is the unprecedented nature of Congressional staffers taking a stand and speaking out on such an issue. I’d seen an interview featuring both of these staffers on Rachel Maddow on January 29th, when their letter had over 300 signatures. Tonight, however, Richards was interviewed again by Lawrence O’Donnell. She disclosed that she and Gleick had opened up the letter for additional signatures yesterday, I believe, and within an hour they had 100 additional signatures, and as of this evening they are up to 550 staffers entreating Senators to stand up for our Republic.

Precious Knows – Photo: L. Weikel

Two-fer

I will end this post here. You’ve essentially received a two-fer. Comforting photos of lovable pups and kitties, and a nod to some inspiring young people taking a stand and publicly entreating our representatives to Do. The. Right. Thing.

Spartacus Dreaming – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-287)

Some Nights – Day 823

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Sirius & Orion – Photo: L. Weikel

Some Nights

Some nights it’s really hard for me to come up with anything to write about that doesn’t bludgeon our sensibilities with thoughts and emotions that are unrequited. That’s especially true when two circumstances collide and rob me of my inspiration: (1) when I’m constrained by my sense of civic responsibility and passion for our system of law and government to avidly watch the Senate impeachment trial; and (2) when I fail to get myself outside to take a walk.

Yes, I’ll admit it. I become consumed by the writhing gyrations our country is going through. I feel helpless as I watch it struggle to either give birth to a new, more diverse, passionate, and unified version of itself or die as it reverts to its fearful, racist, hateful, and disrespectful roots.

Indeed, those roots are the undercurrent that streams throughout our perceptions of the Senate trial we’re witnessing this week. Those roots are the source of the trauma we’ve endured and seen perpetrated in our name, the violence we’ve seen stoked since the very first rallies took place, the desecration and madness that was unleashed on our elected representatives and sacred symbols of democracy on January 6th.

Not Light and Airy

Believe me, I’d love to write about something whimsical or fanciful this evening. My usual go-to sources of a higher perspective, Mother Earth and her myriad creations, don’t feel as readily available to me when I fail to take make the effort to get outside my cocoon.

And perhaps, if I’d managed to wedge in a walk this evening, I might have received the gift of a distraction. But I didn’t. So I’m relegated to musing over the unsettling way my heart feels like it’s taken up residence in the pit of my stomach.

I don’t know if any of you heard it, but at least twice in the arguments that took place today on behalf of the House Managers, the word resilience or resilient was used to refer to our democratic ideals. For obvious reasons, if you’ve been hanging with me this week, you’ll understand that the word jumped out of the television at me.

Crumbling Institution

We’re going to find out over the next few days just where we stand. If there is a conviction, there will be fallout. At least, I imagine there will be disappointment and at least some outrage felt by those who have fallen for The Big Lie. Hopefully, the backlash will be muffled and subdued, because deep down, hatred is unsustainable.

But if there is an acquittal…ah yes. That’s the situation that will test our resilience probably more than it’s ever been tested in our history. Even more than the Civil War? Yeah, probably. Because an acquittal will give legitimacy to the very same factions that incited the Civil War and were allowed to flourish under a veneer of invisibility and distorted respectability.

But that veneer has been ripped off by the actions stoked by DT and perpetrated on our nation. An acquittal will force an eruption, because the ideology of those who desecrated our capitol is unsustainable.

Some nights, like tonight, I hang on to the idea of our resilience by a thread.

Dark Moon – Photo: NASA

(T-288)

Year of the Ox – Day 822

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Oxen – Photo: New York Times

Year of the Ox

The new moon arrives on Thursday at 2:06 p.m. ET and marks the beginning of the Chinese New Year. We’re entering the Year of the Ox.

Actually, I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure if the New Year begins precisely at the time of the new moon. It seems to me that that would make the most sense, but I do notice that most links on the internet state that the new year begins on February 12th. My assumption is that 2:06 p.m. Eastern Time on the 11th is actually the 12th in China and the other countries that celebrate this on a national level.

So if I’m jumping the gun by a day, please forgive me.

Rituals and Customs

I found this site when I was looking to see what year we’re entering. While I suspect it is watered down for more superficial understanding, it nevertheless describes a lot of the traditions, rituals, and beliefs that comprise New Year celebrations in the cultures that celebrate this lunar observance.

I decided to write a quick post on this and include the link to this site for two reasons:

First, when I discovered this site I found the rituals intriguing. Some of the taboos and customs are quite specific, and it makes me wonder what fundamental benefits following these brought to the health and welfare of the people over the past thousands of years.

Second, I thought it might be worthwhile for us to use this opportunity to once again reflect, if ever so briefly, on what we want to let go of in our lives (leave it in the Year of the Rat!) and affirmatively contemplate what we would like to bring into our lives as we enter this new year.

New Moon Cycle

The new moon tomorrow is taking place in the sign of Aquarius. As usual, we can see this as a time when we’re planting the seeds of new ideas, projects, etc. and can watch to see how they develop and grow over the next two weeks as the moon grows to fullness in two weeks.

But of course there are times when the projects or ideas we’re ‘planting’ will take longer to bring to fruition. Another cycle we can look at is that it will take six months for the moon to become ‘full’ in the sign of Aquarius. So…perhaps we might want to note on our calendars the full moon in Aquarius and see whether our efforts (seeds) are bearing fruit by then.

Just a thought.

Happy New Year!

(T-289)

Beauty and Grace – Day 821

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Vast Winter Sky – Photo: L.Weikel

Beauty and Grace

Beauty and grace. Remember those two words? They jumped off the page of The Ocean Oracle’s lwb (little white book) that accompanies the deck when I looked up the message conveyed by the Resilience card that appeared yesterday. I shuffled the deck and shuffled again, all the while keeping the Senate trial foremost in my mind – asking for guidance for us all.

And as we know, ‘Sea Heather – Resilience’ was the card that appeared as our watchword.

To be honest, I could easily see how we as a people will need to be resilient in the face of the absurdity we’re going to be asked to accept as legitimate legal argument. Indeed, with respect to our republic as a whole, this definition of resilience from Dictionary.com sets the bar:

“3. the ability of a system or organization to respond to or recover readily from a crisis, disruptive process, etc.”

We’re being asked to respond to and recover readily from an insurrection incited by our own president in a desperate bid to retain power by use of mob violence; an insurrection waged upon our very system of government unlike anything since the Civil War itself.

It’s obvious how our resilience as a nation is being tested.

But Beauty and Grace?

Which brings me back to the sentence that haunted the edges of my mind since I wrote my post last night. “Let your beauty and grace shine through in even the most extreme environments.”

I had a feeling I knew where that beauty and grace might shine through. They are not words that would readily leap to mind in a Senate trial based upon an insurrection in which seven people have lost their lives and hundreds have sustained injuries – many horrific.

But there it was. Beauty and grace. The initial closing argument of Rep. Jamie Raskin (D – Maryland), the lead Impeachment Manager of the House of Representatives, on the simple question of the Constitutionality of the Senate hearing this case, exemplified the essence of these two words. His belief in the resilience of our form of government, his obvious and heartfelt love for our nation and his belief in the principles and integrity upon which it was founded couldn’t have been more eloquently stated.

Beauty and grace. Resilience personified.

And yet? Forty four Senators voted as if they had not listened to a single word.

If accountability is what we require for our nation to sustain its resilience, my heart is hurting this night. Our future is in the balance.

(T-290)

Trial Card – Day 820

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Resilience Card – The Ocean Oracle by Susan Marte

Trial Card

I haven’t chosen a card for us to contemplate in quite a while. Given that as a nation we’re once again on the verge of being subjected to the chaotic drama that accumulated over the past four years and erupted on January 6th, 2021, tonight felt like a good night to choose a trial card.

The man has already been impeached. Not once, but twice. Technically this is not an impeachment trial. Rather, it’s a trial before the Senate on whether he should be convicted of the conduct he was impeached over (in this case, incitement of an insurrection).

Personally, the respite from having DT’s presence – in all its forms – largely absent from our day-to-day lives for the past four weeks has been restorative. I’m only just now finding myself able to hear the words, “And the president said today…” without every muscle in my body tensing up, bracing for the worst.

Resilience

So the appearance of the Resilience card from The Ocean Oracle felt entirely appropriate. Heck, I had no need to read the ‘lwb’ (oracle parlance for ‘little white book’ – a reference to the explanatory guide that accompanies most oracles) to easily grasp the wisdom inherent in bringing resilience to the fore. Surely the suggestion that our nation needs to bring a certain attitude of fortitude to facing the truth of what took place leading up to and including 1/6 is completely sensible.

And given the penchant DT’s defenders and allies have shown over the years for relentlessly battering us with lies and admonitions not to believe what’s right before our eyes, it only makes sense that we’re going to have to bring emotional and intellectual resilience to the party.

We’re going to have to hang tough. Endure the insanity yet again. Stand fast for what is right and just.

Interesting Take

And then I read the aforementioned ‘lwb’ (written by the deck’s creator, Susan Marte), and I found the accompanying ‘story’ and ‘messages’ to be different than I expected, so I offer them here for your consideration:

42 – Sea Heather – RESILIENCE

The Story

Her childhood had been rocky. She felt alone for much of it, coming into her life through the kindness of strangers. Those strangers were now mostly friends. They were lifelines to her and came at the most unexpected moments, in the most unexpected guises. Her life now was steady and she was proud of where she was. There had been struggles and triumphs, sadness and joy, grief and celebration. But she had trust and faith in life and that force now shone through her. One of her annual rituals to honour her resilience came at the flowering time of the sea heather. Each summer she would harvest a bunch of sea heather and gift it to someone in her life who had been inspirational to her during the past year. She chose sea heather because of its own resilience – it grew in salty areas, undeterred by the saline conditions. It was hearty and unassuming in its gifts and its flowers were subtle yet stunning. And even after it was harvested and out of its growing conditions, it continued to hold forth its grace and beauty.

The Messages

Do you need to toughen up against your environment? Are you wanting to hide your gifts because you do not feel strong enough? Let your beauty and grace shine through in even the most extreme environments. Do not let your resilience be unbecoming. Use it as a beautiful strength to get you through dark times. Remember that tenderness, grace and beauty reside in all.

Take Away

My sense is that there will be efforts to paint the proceedings this week as some partisan ‘witch hunt,’ since that’s been the rallying cry for years and years now. We will need to be resilient as a nation and as individuals to demand accountability in the face of actions and rhetoric that have tested us and the foundations of our democratic republic for far too long.

And in the midst of keeping our heads held high and our integrity intact, we will be wise to find and exhibit beauty and grace where we can. The process we will undergo as a nation this week (and possibly beyond) can elicit from all of us a ‘beautiful strength’ that will get us through these dark times.

We can do this. Demanding and seeking accountability will serve us all. We must have trust and faith in our healing process.

(T-291)