Month: May 2020

Distraction – Day 566

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Rainbow glare – Photo: L. Weikel

Distraction

All I have to offer this evening are some photos I took on our walk early tonight. I realize they are but a distraction – but that’s all I can muster.

I tried watching something on Netflix tonight that would take my mind off the searing pain and rage our nation is experiencing. An animated series – Avatar: the Last Airbender. It’s such a great show, promoting and teaching timeless truths about relationships, power, and responsibility, among other things. If you can gloss over a little bit of the hokey banter, especially in the first few episodes, I promise you will find this series leaves you feeling brighter and remembering what’s important in life.

Karl and I are midway through the second season of the aforementioned animated Avatar. (I emphasize animated to distinguish from the live action film of the same name, which I’ve been told doesn’t hold a candle to the series). There are a total of three seasons to the series.

But alas, I returned to watching the reporting on the protests taking place across our nation after Karl went to sleep. I hold space for those friends of mine in cities under siege and hope they don’t get caught in the cross fire.

I only hope this pain will bring about the radical, systemic change that is the only thing that will heal these wounds.

So as I said when I started out this post, I offer you some photos of beauty, taken today.

Golden Deer Against an Angry Sky – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-545)

Risk – Day 565

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Severe Storms Ahead – Photo: L. Weikel

Risk

Watching reports of the protests occurring nationwide in response to the reprehensible acts (or failure to act) of the four Minneapolis Police Department officers that resulted in the death of George Floyd is upsetting enough. But when you stop for a second and realize these protests and marches are taking place in the midst of a global pandemic, in the midst of a virtual plague, the fact that so many thousands of people are willing to put their lives at risk to demand justice speaks louder than any words they could chant.

A couple times today I heard or read someone express surprise that people are in fact gathering in these huge crowds, considering the considerable risk of spreading the coronavirus – particularly given that black and brown people seem to be harder hit, proportionately, than the rest of the population.*

But doesn’t their very willingness to risk exposure to the virus show how desperately our country needs profound systemic reformation – immediately?

What Trumps Who

If we’re honest with ourselves, black and brown lives are at risk no matter what. Sure, if they catch Covid-19, they’re at greater risk of being hospitalized and dying from it. But as things stand now, they’re at risk of being hospitalized or dying simply from being what they are. And yes, I’m consciously saying ‘what’ they are as opposed to ‘who’ they are.

For who they are doesn’t matter in the least. It’s all in the color of their skin, baby. That’s all that matters to far too many people who have access to instruments of power and lethal force, be they cell phones to call 9-1-1 on a ‘black man’ daring to call her out for breaking the rules to guns or choke holds or knees to the neck.

As we’ve nauseatingly seen time and again, people of color are not allowed to be in our country. They’re not permitted to play, or to jog, or to watch birds in the park. They’re not allowed to sleep in their own beds without being subject to lethal force when idiot police try to execute a no-knock search warrant in the middle of the night on the wrong apartment.

Mother Rage

As a mother myself, I cannot imagine the rage and fear experienced by mothers of children of color. And yet my sense that I would not be able to contain my outrage and terror is an indicator of my privilege. Why? Because my sense of justice burns hot for my babies. And yet mothers of black or brown children dare not risk expressing the rage I, as a white person, cannot imagine not expressing.

How do they live with that inexpressible terror and rage, simmering deep within? Any of us who contemplate such ongoing hell know – they can’t breathe. We can’t breathe.

There’s a plague hitting our country all right. While it exists all over the world, it is deep and ugly and pervasive all over the United States, but especially in places of power. And it’s time we  stood up, link our arms, and say in one voice, “NO MORE.”

We’re all brothers and sisters no matter the pigment of our skin. We bleed. We love. We grieve. We breathe.

We must actively take a stand. We must demand systemic reform. We must demand that this scourge be condemned and actively eradicated by those holding positions of power. Now. No more waiting. And if they won’t do it?

Vote. Them. Out.

And if that’s snatched away from us?

Cletus Contemplating the Impending Chaos – Photo: L. Weikel

 

*To be fair, the footage I’ve seen shows the vast majority of protesters wearing masks – and in many places, actually marching and assembling while maintaining some semblance of social distancing, which is no mean feat. This shows respect and reverence for life – theirs and those around them, as well as those with whom they live – which, I suspect is precisely why they’re willing to risk it all.

(T-546)

Gifts and Messages – Day 564

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Ancient Cave-Art – Photo: L. Weikel

Gifts and Messages

Just the other day, Karl and I were walking down the road when we came upon a series of gifts and messages.

Surely, as you can see from the photograph, above, we stumbled upon an artistic depiction of an ostrich or perhaps a velociraptor, crafted by one of our ancient cave-dwelling ancestors. Clearly a fiercesome beast, its long, ungainly legs obviously capable of crossing vast expanses of land at speeds no human could match.

But what was the message?

Run for the hills?

Make for the nearest ostrich farm and saddle up?

Stop hiding our heads in the sand?

Oh dear Goddess, surely it wasn’t a depiction of an emu ?!? (NO. I refuse to believe getting anywhere near an emu was part of any message my ancestors might have wished to convey.)

You Mentioned Gifts

Ancient ostrich feather? Peace Eagle (vulture) feather? Photo: L. Weikel

Ah yes. Besides discovering precious cave art in the midst of our ambulatory travels, we were also gifted a massive feather, curiously not far from the ancient artistry. Surely this was a sign that the great beast depicted in the artistic rendering was choosing to enter our lives as a sacred power animal!

Our ancestors were speaking to us from beyond the grave! Through eons of generations!

The sheer power of our ancestors’ depiction had brought the creature alive in this time and space, where it left us a piece of itself to treasure and honor. Perhaps it was gifting us with a physical memento of its power and prowess as a conveyor of early humans. Perhaps it was reminding us of the benefits of mounting ostriches (or emus) for transportation?

Or maybe the feather could be used to remind us to swiftly flee other humans who might be sticking their heads in the sand?

Gifts and messages abound. We just need to pay attention, be grateful, and listen.

(T-547)

We Can’t Breathe – Day 563

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Photo: L. Weikel

We Can’t Breathe

This will not be a long post.

I spent the better part of this evening celebrating something wonderful – the third anniversary of my middle son’s marriage to my daughter-in-law Tiffany. We love each other. We maintained safe distance between us and they did not even come into our home. Rather, we sat outside enjoying the smell of freshly cut grass, the flicker of lots of candles on the porch, and the ribets of what must be massive bullfrogs in the pond behind our barn.

We used to be able to see each other often – once a week, if we were lucky. Tonight was only the second time in three months that all four of us were within twelve feet of each other at the same time.

A Realization

But while I was lucky enough to be able to celebrate this anniversary with my family, so many other people are suffering unimaginable and utterly senseless loss. And the thought of what those other people are feeling and experiencing takes my breath away.

I do not say this lightly.  For days and days following my son Karl’s death in 2011, I would find myself feeling as though there was a huge invisible weight on my chest. I’d never felt anything like it – even after my own parents had died. This grief was different.

As I may have written last night, when I watched the video of the incident in Central Park and then saw the still photos (and read the description) of what happened to George Floyd, I started feeling that weight in my chest again. It is as if the world is so heavy and so unimaginably cruel that it’s impossible to take another breath.

The Microcosm and the Macrocosm

After our celebration this evening, I came inside and watched some reporting on MSNBC. I watched the interview by Lawrence O’Donnell of George Floyd’s sister, Bridget Floyd. And I felt that weight again. I saw her shirt with her brother’s last words, “I can’t breathe.”

I remembered the words of the man in NYC, Eric Garner, who also said, “I can’t breathe,” and was killed by NYC police officers.

They are the microcosm. The macrocosm, I realized tonight, is the coronavirus, the root of Covid-19. How do I arrive at that? What are all of the people dying from Covid-19 feeling before they die? “I can’t breathe.” What do they say when they arrive in the emergency departments of hospitals all over the world? “I can’t breathe.” What is the state they are in when they’re put on ventilators? They can’t breathe.

Our world – but in particular our country – can no longer breathe. We are choking on our own injustice, inhumanity, greed, systemic racism, and simple cruelty.

Yes, it hit me tonight. There’s a theme to all of the suffering we’re seeing play out around us and within our homes, families, communities, and countries. We can’t breathe with the continued injustice we’re witnessing and experiencing.

We can’t breathe with the overwhelming cruelty we’re witnessing day in and day out, perpetrated by our supposed leaders and elected representatives. We can’t breathe if their actions truly reflect our hearts. Because there’s no way anyone can breathe and endure this awful, unbelievable, grief.

We must find a way to heal this. I know we can. But first, we must each take a deep breath ourselves. Feel that life force enter our bodies and ask how we can help others breathe, too.

(T-548)

Lifted My Spirits – Day 562

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Sunlit Forest – Photo: L. Weikel

Lifted My Spirits

I’m so relieved that the weather today was as bright and warm as it was. I needed it. It lifted my spirits.

I can’t figure out why I was feeling so down today. The Memorial Day weekend was pleasant enough. I missed seeing our kids, but there have been other holidays, pre-Covid-19, when we weren’t able to get together. So it’s not as if it felt like the gaping hole in our summer opening extravaganza that I know other people experienced.

And we did manage to walk every day, despite initial calls for rain. Thank goodness!

Today was hard, though.

Ugly Out There

The best I can figure is that I’m starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by all the ugliness ‘out there.’

Last night, just before settling down to write about my love of Ents, I saw the video of the woman in Central Park, who earlier yesterday rabidly threatened to call 911 to report a man who was taking video of her breaking the leash law in an area devoted to birding. I’m sure most of you know all about her very obvious use of her white privilege to threaten this man for daring to video her flaunting the park rules.

It sickened me to see how she treated this man.

And then there’s the horrific story of the man in Minneapolis who was murdered by police officers, one of whom literally had his knee on the man’s neck as the man cried out that he couldn’t breathe. I could not bring myself to watch the video of that incident. Merely seeing the still shot of the cop with his knee on the man’s neck was enough to make me want to throw up. This type of stuff happens every day. Almost always with impunity, although apparently – hopefully – not this time. But it all makes me wonder how black and brown people do not despair of such cruelty. How do any of us not despair of this cruelty to one another?

So no, I’m not going to link to either of these videos. If you haven’t seen them, they are pretty much everywhere. Which may be why I was feeling more and more depressed today as the day wore on.

Between those two incidents and the videos of people spitting on or verbally abusing clerks who were trying to enforce mask use in their stores, or people deliberately defying public health recommendations… I don’t know. I just felt profoundly sad over the state of humanity.

Took a Walk

So Karl and I took another one of our walks. I’m sharing a couple photos I took. The beauty we encountered was heartening and peaceful. Once again, walking lifted my spirits. Once again, Mother Earth reminded me of the beauty that surrounds us if we take the time and make the effort to look for it.

As usual, walking brings me peace. Here’s a recent article reinforcing just how and why walking is so great for us – especially now.

I’m going to keep on walking. If you haven’t walked in a while, I urge you to go for it. It helps. And we all need all the help we can get right now.

Rhododendron – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-549)

I Love Ents – Day 561

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Some Have Birds As Makeup Artists – Photo: L. Weikel

I Love Ents

I love Ents. They were one of my favorite parts of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I can remember how I felt when I first read about them. It felt so natural to imagine discovering the wonder of suddenly finding myself amidst massive trees revealing their slow moving, but deliberately sentient, selves. It was thrilling and magical.

And I thought the depiction of them in the movies was pretty great. It’s not always a given that something that lives so vividly in one’s mind when reading a book gets translated onto the screen accurately.

So I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I am prone to Seeing the personalities of certain trees reveal themselves – trees that are, perhaps, a bit more self-aware (or at least self-revelatory) than their brothers and sisters.

No Two Alike

They come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities, of course. Because no self-respecting Ent would be a clone of another. Dare I say, there are precious few creatures on Mother Earth that are not absolutely and utterly unique unto themselves – even if they do bear a huge resemblance to their siblings. (Anyone who has searched high and low for the perfect Christmas tree knows what I’m talking about. They’ve all got their own quirks and precious beauty.)

I’ve noticed a most striking creature revealing its true nature lately. Now that it is leafing out, its outstretched arms are alight with bursts of leaves making it look as if it’s holding pom-poms, its ‘head’ a wild, tangled mess not unlike the mop top I’m currently sporting.

This gorgeous Ent begged to have its photo taken today, so I obliged.

Booga Booga! Shaking Its Leaves At Me – Photo: L. Weikel

Some Are More Subtle Than Others

Which made me hunt for a few others I’ve photographed in the past. I include them here for comparison’s sake. Not as in, “Who is the most beautiful Ent in the neighborhood” type of comparison. Rather, “Let us revel in the diversity of expression the local Standing Tall People display to us on a daily basis.”

I’m actually sure I’ve taken other photos of Tree Beings I’ve glimpsed in our walks. Perhaps I will try to track more of them down.

But for now, I invite you to witness a few of our ‘neighbors.’ Surely you have some in your environs as well.

Crank Monster – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-550)

Reprogramming – Day 560

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An idea just pecking its way out – Photo: L. Weikel

Reprogramming

I’m just having a thought – and I want to flesh it out, but I’m not going to have enough time to do it this evening. It’s a sort of weird sense that maybe we’re undergoing a reprogramming.

Ha ha – just rereading that first sentence I have to laugh at myself. “Lisa! You’re having a thought! Good on you, girl! Let’s celebrate!”

Seriously, though. I was just having a brief online conversation with a friend and fellow mesa-carrier. As you may recall, my mesa is my sacred medicine bundle, called a mesa (or misa) in the Q’ero tradition. Anyway, we were talking about the recent suggestion we’d both heard from a respected Paqo (the Q’ero word for shaman or medicine person) that we need to ‘reprogram’ our mesas.

Cosmic Unplug

While I want to contemplate this more extensively for myself, it dawned on me that perhaps at least part of what we’re all experiencing with this pandemic is the equivalent of Spirit unplugging all of us in a huge effort to get us all to re-set ourselves back to a baseline from which we can rebuild a new way of being in the world.

Admit it: how many of us have often freaked the heck out when our computers or cell phones went on the fritz and we couldn’t get them to respond appropriately no matter what we did? In the old days, especially, when these amazing electronic marvels would suddenly stop doing what we were just getting used to them doing, we’d want to melt down ourselves.

“Oh my God, it’s going to cost me an arm and a leg to get this repaired.”

Or “Oh good grief. What if I never get this thing running again? What will I do?”

Miracle Cure

And then our IT person (be it someone literally from the IT department where we work, or – more likely in my case, at least – one of my sons), would ask, “Did you shut it down and restart it?”

We all know, nine times out of ten, that was the Miracle Cure we were looking for.

Well, I’m wondering if the societal ramifications of the coronavirus are forcing us into an involuntary shutdown. Actually, the answer is an obvious yes in a literal sense. Our economies across the world, but especially here, have been forced into a shutdown in order to prevent the spread of the virus.

But I’m wondering if we might benefit from sitting with this concept and playing with it a bit more. How might we choose to ‘restart’ our lives, or what might we want to have our lives look like when we ‘restart’ if this shut down was meant to force us into rearranging the way we think about ourselves. Rethink how we want to BE in the world.

If we were able to reboot ourselves, how would our newly re-ordered internal perceptions line up?

(T-551)

A Second, Scarier, Quarantine – Day 559

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Storm Clouds, Portal of Blue – Photo: L. Weikel

A Second, Scarier, Quarantine

Only one short year ago, I wrote about the Spotted Lantern Fly (SLF), an invasive species that is decimating forests in Pennsylvania and spreading into other states as well. In that post, I discussed the quarantine our state is under and the efforts being made to eradicate this pest. But what I found most stunning when I re-read that post a few minutes ago was my use of the word quarantine – and the weird reality of this second, scarier, quarantine we find ourselves in.

My discussion of the need for us to work together to keep the SLF from spreading seems almost sweetly naïve. I was entreating us all to work together to kill off a bug with no natural predators in order to protect our forests. And of course, I assumed we would.

Surely we would work together to fight against the spread of a ‘bug’ with no natural predators for the good of us all. Right?

Kick Off Summer Right

I don’t need to tell anyone reading this post that Memorial Day Weekend 2020 is on track to be one of the strangest any of us have experienced in our lifetimes. As a direct result of our behavior, it could very well turn out to be potentially the deadliest of holiday weekends as well.

Only time will tell if that relates to humans as well as Spotted Lantern Flies.

I’d prefer to think this is a worse time for SLFs than my fellow two-leggeds, but it will take a lot of work to make it so. That’s especially true if humans feel the need to be petulant and wilful. Especially if we demand that nothing in our lives change in order to keep each other and ourselves healthy and ‘bug-free.’

Do Our Part

There are two ways we can do our part to make things worse for Spotted Lantern Flies than ourselves and our fellow humans.

The first is to make a point to be vigilant when outside, as surely all of us will be this weekend – and throughout the summer – to be on the lookout for the bug we can see: the Spotted Lantern Fly.

Here is a great article I read today encouraging all of us to take up the cause I advocated last year.  As I said then, and as I reiterate now, it takes all of us working together to beat this scourge.

Of course, the second way we can make sure this summer is worse for the SLF than for us humans is to kill (or at least minimize the spread) of the bug we can’t see. We need to use our heads. Not be dumb. The research is out there; it shows just how virulently the Coronavirus spreads through water droplets and aerosol particles that come out of our mouths and noses through coughing, laughing, talking, and singing.

Wear a mask when out in public. Stay away (by at least six feet) from people generally  – but especially from people who don’t care enough about anyone but themselves to wear a mask.

This isn’t a case of freedom. Or liberty. Requiring people to wear masks when it is scientifically proven that masks can prevent up to 80% of the spread of Covid-19 is a simple matter of public health and welfare. The right to live in safety from the spread of a highly communicable disease (that can be carried by people who have no symptoms and may not even know they have it) ‘trumps’ the so-called ‘infringement’ on the right of anyone to refuse to wear a mask.

The rights are not equal. You do not have the right to kill me. Or my friends. Or my relatives. Or even those I may not like or do not know.

Kill the Bugs – Not Each Other

While I’m not a big fan of killing anything, truth be told, I would much prefer we all focus our attention on kicking the need for quarantines of any kind. Let’s kill those Spotted Lantern Flies. (Here’s another link to good info on this.) Let’s also kill the spread of the Coronavirus. Every time we wear a mask we do our part to starve the beast.

Call me naïve, but I do think we can work together to save us all. I’m not liking this second, scarier, quarantine. But let’s hope I’m not writing about a third quarantine next year at this time.

(T-552)

A Loss for Words – Day 558

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A Loss for Words

I know. With everything going on in the world, how could I possibly be at a loss for words?

It’s true though. Sometimes no words are appropriate.

I feel as though the weather outside is mirroring both my feelings and my outlook. Having just taken Sheila out for her evening ablutions, I know it’s murky. Rain poured out of the sky earlier, but now the air just seems to be still and thick. Oppressive.

Gray Day

I took a good long walk today, veering a bit off my beaten path to make it by foot all the way down to my beloved Tohickon Creek. This was before the rains came, so she seemed to be running a bit low. Her bones were showing.

No fish jumped out of the water to snag a bug just above the surface. Come to think of it, I don’t know that I saw any insects. Not a bird could be heard in the treetops, or the fields, and the only ones I actually spied in my nearly six mile walk were two red-tailed hawks sitting in a dead tree two fields away from me and four turkey vultures coasting lazily aloft.

Today felt distinctly different than yesterday, or really any of the other days this week. I’m trying to put my finger on it, and it may just have been the malaise of the weather. Could be.

Summer’s Here

Maybe it wasn’t our country realizing that summer’s unofficial start kicks off this weekend – and absolutely nothing about it is normal.

No matter how angry anyone gets, we cannot tantrum ourselves back to life the way it was six months ago. As every day ticks forward, chances grow – exponentially – that we will know someone who gets sick with Covid-19. Hopefully, they’ll recover.

I needed to be by myself today. I needed to walk. I needed to just be alone in the stillness.

If the forecast for tomorrow is to be believed, I may have to dance between raindrops if I’m to get even the shortest of walks in tomorrow. At this point, I guess, all I can do is keep my eyes open and hope.

Have a wonderful Saturday.

Hope – Photo: L. Weikel

(T-553)

Pollen Fog – Day 557

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Goldfinches? Or are they chickadees covered in pollen? – Photo: L. Weikel

Pollen Fog

Oh my. The trees are in full bloom here and the chartreuse layer of tree sperm covering absolutely everything outside, especially the glass top tables on my porch, is putting me in a pollen fog.

And the weirdest thing is, I’m (luckily and gratefully) not experiencing too terrible of allergy symptoms. That’s to say, my sinuses are ok so far, my nose is only running a little, and my throat doesn’t hurt.

But I have to say, my appetite is insatiable, and it’s making me nuts. Eat nuts, that is. I really don’t think it’s simply the stress of the pandemic, either. I’ve blamed that for a variety of oral fixations, including an uncontrollable tendency to eat more peanuts in a sitting than I cram into the ‘peanut coil’ I use to dispense legumes to my feathered friends.

Indeed, I was really controlling myself and my peanut fixation after I ate too many and lamented about it in a post. I was doing really well until, well, just tonight. <<sigh>>

Sad Start to Second Half

I don’t know what came over me. I was sitting here with the tv turned off, the sound of the whole house fan thrumming the air and drawing in some major cool breezes that just taunt me into wanting to crawl under the covers and go to bed.

Instead, I was sitting here trying to think of something new or different that I could write about, even though I could feel myself succumbing to the land of heavy eyelids. So what did I do? I caved. I mowed through a bunch of peanuts. I finished up a half pint of Owowcow Cashew Carmel ice cream. I even broke into a Salted Almond chocolate bar for good measure.

Goddess help me.

New Moon

It’s as if I made it halfway through my 1111 Devotion and I’m suddenly dropping the ball and coming up dry again.

Tomorrow is a new moon. As I’ve encouraged a million times over, it’s yet another opportunity to start fresh, plant new seeds, take up a new charge within our lives.

I’m going to once again step away from the peanuts and get myself up to bed. I have lots of things I actually would love to write and chat with all of you about.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day. I hope it is for all of us. No matter how super fantastic a day you may have had today, I hope tomorrow is even better.

Plant those seeds. Be careful out there. Don’t risk being a silent spreader: wear a mask. Maybe it’ll even help with the pollen!

(T-554)